ValiantSalvatore

If my life is that chil that I can enjoy beign a fat buddah and can get laid, why do I care about anything? What I notice is a bit of the creator drive.... I miss the abillity to be exellent in multiple domains. As well as study more deeply things feel more effortless and I careless. I also don't know what generally is up with the asian gang types liking me, somehow white women is not working out as well. I've read also stuff about psychological dominance. Anyway I just wonder how good enough can beat perfect, as it consistently does. All I can say now I am pretty rejuvinate for all dreams and goals for a while, as I made several long-term health changes. I wonder also why my libido is so low. I miss perfect drive, optimal health etc. Let's see I can still run the overall knee stuff did not get worse the doctor said. But fuck I want a regular shooting range you would not believe me, to just feel power and drive and amp the state.

I miss going hard. But yeah it is what it is.

Let's see I hope I played it well. Going to play one video game meditate and report.... I applied late for a program. They put me on the waiting list. Ambition for me really is on hold and on at the sametime. Just when you thought things get more perfect and or can't get more perfect. Let's hope and do my best. Maybe better opportunities are coming.

Just leaving this here I never watched that episode. I actually know why I'd enjoyed more having a spiritual partner, let's see she seems to have interest in all of this. Sex is certainly not at least till now the thing until it becomes more spiritual life transcending otherwise it's mostly enjoyment & entertainment, connection building etc. Yeah..... me beign me..... how to be a dominant introvert could be a new thing. I am still not horny, because so much happend I don't know could all just be emotionally as I had the doctors appointment and I know I have the performance drive I felt quiet bad for not pleasuring her into a squirt, yet she legit moaned so loud the whole time. She also started heavily masturbating her clit at one point, but bro I do apparently have to do rocket science for stuff or let's say robotics. I just call it spiritual robotics. Till we're fking archetypes in 5D. I do have to do this expert shadow work thing, so I can finally funny make the disqualiying alpha moves, it's like I am in a good college cult, without the hard drugs. I realized also especially now how sexy power has to be for a women, also for some the intellect that was the pinnacle during the two hours of "arrogance turned into self-serving pleasure" and seemingly pointing beyond sollipsism.

Well I got layed. She also seemed to have to enjoyed it, she moaned very loud like I was scared the neighbour was going to hear us. She was absolutely beautiful for a young girl and I was surprised what I could have done, I took it very very very... very.... very..slow be basically had sex for 2h.... making out fucking, the point is I did not enjoy it as much it was nice to build connection I cried afterwards in the car just about the lifestory of the person, also how kind she was while I acted not very manly. I lost a lot of edge a lot ever since I got injured still I might have to absolutely drop coffee for sensetivity my nervous system is so overaroused. I did not cum after having sex for 2h and she moaned the whole time more honestly and she really enjoyed I saw it, I sensed it and I did not fully have the edge to ravage her. It was nice to see her in enjoyment of herself she gave her best also to make me cum..., yet I just could not I dunno why. I noticed even a solo experience on LSD was more sensual and also how tolerant I became to sensual experiences.... it's like I find depth only in utter despair, alone and in pain... I am unsure what to do, I stopped caring for a lot of things. She was also introverted absolutely lovely and beautiful from a personalities perspective. It's almost to perfect. By type she is/was by guess 1w9 INTJ architecture student gal. It's odd how manly intellect is a self-induced orgasm. Boah no idea I am tired will stop writing about this and sleep. She gave me a blowjob, titjob, handjob... I fucked her like Donald T Trump right into da pussy she moaned and enjoyed it all. She legit loved kissing my big lips I could not believe it. Etc etc etc etc. Possible detail after detail after detail. I don't know maybe I am inhumane, yet my dick must have fitted her pussy quiet nicely I did not feel as much. The injury that now is not an injury anymore. Lost me some drive I feel. Anyway sexy girl lovely human. Odd. Odd... I thought multiple things, yet I am to complex of a human... Might have to ask stuff...

Briefly writting this, things I need for dating. LSD Wine Wild animals Inspiration to not be toxic, and see what works simply. If I ever get a beautiful women that had had less than 10 partners I'd be willing to marry etc. Right now I am just learning I took soy protein for the first time. Gratitude Journal: I am thankful for noticing upgrades and recognizing the importance of the value game and how to play it more sanely I am thankful for every non-toxic just wild hot women that enjoys sexuality and sensuality I am thankful for every non-bitter nany who does not wage a war against men and create a gender war opposites and equals I am thankful for every non-bitter man who does not wage a war against women and create a gender war opposites and equals I am thankful for every functional and fun adivce, even if it is slighty toxic turned into a flower, beautiful going back to beauty is absolutely beautiful

The is the most cringest shit to type, if you feel free to execute me I'll give you me address pm me.

Shadow work 3-2-1 process: What is happening we are taking a semi-golden shadow here again for the mixture of integration, this time this will also be more visionary I presume, so what is happening? 1. It feels like an intrinstic lust of joy overwhelming for my body to compute It feels like I am crowned by laurels and this energy does not pervade It feels like a never ending construction process of perfection that can only be created by pure intentions and desire it feels there is a healthy sexual desire beneath the simply and easily accessible dark desire for sex and more brutish type sex It feels like there is an animal in me that is wild rawr and does not care for reprecussions and is also infallible in it's abillity to be decieved, it's undeceivable (obsolete apparently) It feels like there is a wild strength in me that goes beyond just beign human it is as if there is a pure visceral intention that loves to channel lust into higher dimensions It feels like there is an abhorent drive for domination of others who act higher, yet are lesser and who put down your value it feels like I don't have the dignity of a man to take what it takes to be a man It feels like there is a subtle undercurrent of insecurity and weakness to manipulate the value of others to increase my own It feels like there is a strong desire to create an impact that is beyond what I currently get in women it feels like there is a disrespect from women in me, as to not live out my unshattering conviction that I am above them and you can't stop me from being above you if that is the case. There is a dark desire to simply dominate space be it professor/high value guy/high value women, there simply is a dark desire for going beyond what I am perceived it, like beign an ueber animal, top dawg It feels like there is a fear from acting out these desires because of inabillity to perceive social cues, which is not 100% true, and the subtle shaming of bitter single women who are not high value It feels like overall this is an internal self-worth value integration from inside out and outside in It overall feels like the beauty of having a vision is attacked my small minds who never even darred to dream big, hence no invites to stuff It feels like the micer, player mentallity of beign small and greedy is preventing me from beign a huge animal, instead of beign a dirty rat I am a small mouse who adheres to rules and guidelines It feels like there is a deep desire to pleasure women with my dick that I've been repressing like deep fking penetration to give her a big bang she'll not forget. It feels like there are animalistic drives for playing with the evolutionary side of humans instead of creating children there is a desire to toy and play with the energy and use it for other creationary purposes It feels like there is a deep desire for integration the disciplinary side of beign an animal, a professional animal and engineer as software engineer a god turned animal, and an animal turned god. It feels like there is a subtle enjoyment of overcoming with anger the power of anger channeld in a safe way it feels like there is a desie to be big simply be big it feels like there is fear in me to be a wild social animal that is playful and goes for what he wants as an emotional animal limbic brain and not a logical neocortex It feels like there is a double animal in me as I am black as I am the devil only deserving the hottest the best the great women and power and to undermine them to exercise control (yes this is shadow work) It feels like there is an animal within me that craves to be a lion on the pounce, a tiger on the move, a strong conviction that goes beyond perceived insecurities not only valor, courage and valiancy valiant There is a deep strong desire to show valiant external behaviour and be rewarded and pleased for it, like a king getting his cock liked (yes this will happen) an realsing the inner animal and swine that he is. It feels like I am a devil swine that will neutrally disseminate every piece and bits of pieces of status threat and gain status in a group 2. Alright this was a lot of observations I don't even know what is true about this anymore, as well as time is running in a sense for a project. I did not think I would notice so much karma/intentions. What is your gift what your you showing me? I am showing you the integrative side of beign an animal upsides and downside, obviously you idiot had to choose the most difficult path, yet at least you're trained and have experience, so you might travel lightly, notice how there is another deeper pattern of deterministic patterns that you did not touch. That is my first gift, you neglected this raw animal power, ambition desire, social domination, god like feeling call it what you want visceral touch for way way to long, you DID NOT EVEN BUILD ON IT; You have power and you take it away from you out of fear of compassion and looking evil? You see how careless these neutral fuck swines are, you can call them by type, by name mostly it's only the intutives that have a somewhat caring level of compassion and love to you, don't you notice? Well I think we're kind of going astray. No we're not you clearly lack the abillity to enjoy working through disciplinary events did the date yesterday not show you that? 0 reaction to lazyness and again the you're black so lazy projection, what did you think? Nothing as I expected it. I just channel the ambition. YES YES YES MY DEAR AND YES; YOUR AMBITION IS THE ANIMAL; YOU'RE AMBITION IS GOD; DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT AMBITION IS? DO YOU TELL ME? Ehhh.... can't you chill for a bit and be more reasonable and logical? This is not really making much progress I asked you what gifts you are showing me and? STOP WITH THE RESISTANCE LOOK! LOOK LIKE IT'S THE MIRROR OR A MOVIE; DOES AN ANIMAL JUST LOVE? Yes. Does an animal just eat and play joyfully with it's cubs? Yes. Does an animal teach you survival and how to be strong? Yes. I mean they all do that, yet why do we humans draw so much inspiration from it. Boy let's not kid ourselves we're far beyond beign an autonemous A.I we're raw creatures emergining from biological dust, we are not mechnical creatures that compute at the speed of light and can freely orbit is space and send information. Bro you're not a satelite you're some dumb animal like 99.9% of humans, sorry 100% of all humans. WE ARE DUMB ANIMALS AFTER ME! WE'RE DUMB ANIMALS! ALRIGHT! What do dumb animals do? DO DUMB SHIT EXACTLY YES! WE'RE DRINKING FUCKING PILLAGAING... eh... doc we're slightly getting of track here and a bit to much into barbarian mode we're not romans pillaging and raping women and villages, as well as entire planets/socities and countries. I am still prefer wisdom in a sense you know. What is the gift of a wise animal? Wise question - the wise animal is self-controlled neither beyond, and neither beneath human/animal desire, it embraces all it's needs and relents it when there is time for it. Then why for gods sake did these small kids trigger me? Because they thought you think of yourselve as a god, while they perceive you as an animal. What is the paradox here? The animal creates the god? YES embrace the animal, we're a zebra, a chocolate bear, a tiny little brown snake, a ginmorus huge python, an elequently long blond beaver we are animals! Yes we are animals! Bro I still have no idea where we are going with it, but I like it severly. Animals eat with pleasure! 3 I am the one who is not using the animal to call towards god! I am the one who is regressing his potential by not acting out more animalistic drives and beign thankful for them I am the one who is afraid of beign an animal out of social reprecussions and shaming subtely I am the one who acccepts that he is a big bear, a giant beautiful zebra, a strong gorilla? A powerful horse. A deadly chamelon. I am the one who accepts the humerouns and playfulness that animals inherently have, they eat your food play with your friends and charm them away, I am an animal that you love and hate at the sametime I am the one who is a dumb animal huh? I am the one who a socially uncalibrated animal that yearns to be a socially calibrated one I am the one who neglects and neglected the value of beign an animal letting go letting desire run widlly and freely I am the one who yearns to channel the wisdom of a wise animal to be self-controlled and wild and free at the same time, that makes you a human god I am the one who yearn to tap into the animalistic deep sphere of growing into and beyond flesh I am the one who yearns to love like an animal zügelose frei stark, percise like a hawk I am the one who wants to pounce onto every possibly mating opportunity like a lion creating plethora of opportunites as well as co-creating This is it I do have to be careful what I am still doing. This shadow work stuff certainly has effects, especially that I am doing now a double visually oriented process in a sense, as I am not working with the body. It's again top-down.

This is mostly it I did it. Feedback in terms of visualization: Be as specific as possible with mantra/visualization main focus is archetype/ideal What did I do well? Focus on the feeling and "visceralization of the archetype" Exact solution visualization for mathematical problems for example and the correction of mistakes Latent awareness of physical ideals and goals and visions I wrote down Strong desire to act Overcoming of fear visualizations This is mostly it I know have not many more excuses for not doing what I love. Will do shadow work session now after this eat one of these new mixes for muscle growth and say, HELLOOOOO HEALTH! Even when I am not fully there. Let's do the golden shadowish integration of shadow today.

I wish I could have caused that huge interconnection I was dreaming of. I don't know how close I'll ever get to it.

The game stuff really helps with the performance of orange point stuff, as most just celebrate the status success drive of orange from integral. Most academics will somewhat know what I mean, I do have to embrace this more..... Also putting performance and excellence into Freedom&Autonomey. Value my time and others time more like I did in China, and present some exellent mvp's for example with 10-20h extra work stuff and an attitude likes this, and not women who take a player down and want to tame him for her needs, this will breed bitterness today is animal integration day, especially german animal. Devil swines.

Yesterday the date was certainly different then what I expected. She looked worse than her pictures by far that was the first time, it's also the issue of OkCupid that these people flaunt their abillities. What I certainly notice is the following. After the doctor talk yesterday, most don't care and just leave me alone, all of this happen for me mostly way to fast. I was gradually nuged through the academic system, and then the abrupt death and other stuff just caused stuff I don't know how to deal with because most mechanisms. Most of the offers don't quiet fit I had the same problem in Beijing etc. As it was mostly income etc. I don't like the merit to -> micer -> player -> bitter asshole -> bitter women mentality. I am learning some cool techniques for sure, the poin is I was close to a 9.5-10 on a dating fame, now I have a harder challenge to build and creat that especially with cooking I struggle a lot. Especially also without weight gaining products, I find it tricky to find ideas in German stores mostly I look everytime for new ideas and at so many products. I do have to pre-plan mostly. I will take some protein soy shakes... I don't know if my intuition is god-like at times.... and why I would not even need this group...., mostly I find it also odd there are some healthy frames. Yes I lost a lot of ego because looks do matter, confidence is the best thing etc. I will take this again as soy protein is good for arthritis generally having muscles and beign lean. I don't have the books anymore and dude I just need a 5-6 figure income for my size and body these cheap German bastards are not producing anything of my size and I often have to buy extra and specific at times my tiny toe is bleeding from walking around with converse. It's ridiculous how much shit I can do solo, simply because of body composition etc. --- The next thing I'd like to say is the following, development is real beyond real no matter how much work I've not done, the work I did cannot be undone. Many don't function from that space an academic girl regarldess if orange&blue can at least follow cognitively my leads. The next thing is also the following bad dates, are also great for any possible opportunity as long as I set the frame than logical, I can still leave when stuff get's to emotional she legit wanted to give me tips etc. Yet I noticed so many things. Status riles up her physiology like crazy, especially if she is 1-2 notches? earlier in the field Masculine features & beard are all very appreciated with a masculine look Nervousness died down, some other conditioning etc. The advantages of dating orange and the advantages of dating green. The point about misunderstood yellow The new book that I am reading and the stuff men did to me as well as using this all consciously mostly The pressure I feel with all the other guys getting laid, while I know a lot of theory and can't put it into proper practice. How bad my friends are, in a sense and how much they help, how important common sense is also, also how good they simply are makes me crack how playful etc we are. How real the lower stages function that includes Green... as well as how important that education is it should be introduced next to maslow. Dating topics during the date I did not prep so I went into logical mode etc. I would legit have asked her for business opportunities as she was not my type like not even 10% emotionally yes, physically no, intellecutally no, she was to much of a green housewive with not enough amibition of her own. I prefer to have someone who is more autonemous. I got triggered a lot by bitter women who are unable to pilot and adjust themselves in a relationship and are demanding wine drinking assholes, they are seeing their duty as a women from an evolutionary lense almost entirely and conflate it with the social lense. It's like they can't see beign human. The pont is I am like a bitter women then in some sense, as bitter men don't trigger me. Only bitter women. The guts to even talk about these topics and say this I could make a quick segway into why I get triggered. Potential and their inabillity to channel their potential and just be providers for humans instead of having a little fight, put a little resistance up please, otherwise it's so boring Not having any hobbies and just socializing, you are healthy man! women! Fully functional do smth. you lazy asshole! Yes you lazy asshole! Travelling etc. Photography, nature are all fine, yet take it a little more serious. Lazyness of liberals is an anti-yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO AWAY if you are not healthy in food and exercise intake Higher development women have a way way bigger heart Cognitive yellow+ and green is the best mix I could get, this was just Green/yellow it's not enough, even yellow orange works better in a sense The vision updates that keep occuring and the business opportunities I am seeking in a sense by networking etc. This is what I feel about game also it's more about beign "street smart" without beign toxic, socially "street smart" a bit more business savy also. I feel this would come in handy to every business event for me. The new health ideas I have now based on the doctors insight and tiny research of just using protein shakes again, I hope this is mostly good I also enjoy doing research and investigations into this, to stuff I bought seems save, it barely has any extra ingredients etc. and I trained now 1 year consistently after the diagonsis without shakes... it's not possible to build these kind of muscle with German stores and how I need to eat. I basically have to create some mixes in order for it to function the best thing would be using pure soy beans, yet there are also issues etc. The point is diversity and variety to celebrated to higher levels just leves you alone, it will only most likely be possible in tech companies that really really embrace this stuff. I give my best to be more narrow. The main takeaway is constructing more interesting conversations, some of this stuff from these toxic guys is great. I bet even a women can learn some stuff from toxic women, yet they are legit cleaning up. That is what I find interesting.

Just been on a date, they are at least starting to clean this stuff up a bit. The date was quiet bad, to be frank in terms of just profile to real women. I did not find her physically attractive, yet emotionally appealing and it's really the issue of liberal type of thinking without proper and healthy spiral awareness. There was also a bitter women again who was 40 snipping socially subtely at messages, I am glad my date did not overreact because of how stuff is. It was really a nice hang-out, yet it's quiet obvious of why liberals are called degenerates at times, I even went to a place where it accidently was like this, yet a lot of liberals are here who are smart, yet they are not very intelligent in that sense about pragmatic and disciplinary choices besides a few this is heavy of forced this hear is. I react very badly of women who have issues with men and have had bad interactions with men, as I generally did not have them. It's mostly just the bitterness of the region where I grew up and the non-cynnical hardnock nature and the to soft sort of mentality of many. The date was fine, yet I did not find her attractive I still really can't be myself with "bitter german women" especially this does not work for one second how much I make fun of this country and complain this will never really work. My internet is super-slow and I somehow this group becomes cleaner a bit, as I am involved, yet it's not easy with all of this unawareness around the topic of biological evolution big picture and or small picture and how in older social types, the idea of having children and reproducing in a bit more "older socialists" is quiet heavy. I learn a lot by observations even when I denounce ego. The point is at one point it's enough I spot a lot of flaws be it in me own thinking etc. I noticed also again how I am at stage turquoise thinking at times, as well as how much I drift into the mind when the other person is not very knowledgeable/relatedable by experience, as a protective mechanism. When I zoom in to far, and be more present I would become very sexual very quick I notice this is a good observation overall. All in all I can say I hold the frame better, as I feel tons of anger against this country and I even curse to let go of it, because of how clowny it is. Also my internet is fked somehow. I'll look into an audiobook for non-violent communication, this was still a test for rascality the point is some humans are very snobbish. Even if they don't offer much value etc.

Another session these last bits and pieces give a lot of internal strength.

I'll do another session as I've been obstructed by an event that I can't partake in, I can also block the most toxic users on the app. The biggest smut are the IT nerds etc. This also helps the management stuff a lot and timing etc. Despite all injuries the vision happens right before my eyes and infront of me. I should not deny all the help that has been given to me. This is also the deepest inner game I can conjour.

Decided I will visualize everything I am doing no excuses about this anymore I don't know where else to draw strength from currently with all the principles I've learned and read about and tested so far, this is as far as I can go.

I meditate again now for 20-30 minutes and see what insights and intuitions I can draw, I have to leverage basically style a lot and the muscles I can possibly build.... without health also it's tricky to find the right person here. This is mostly it.... See what I can do vision wise and work on current ends and new plans.... might even not do the operation at all. For sometime, as I had such bad emotional support the point is the heartlessness of most humans etc. It's not worth if for me if I don't continue building and let emotions dictate my life. Doing this 20 minutes then I write a brief report....

I am back from the doctor, it takes a hardtoll to realize the fear of rational minded creeps. I find it tricky to navigate all of this without to much emotional support, as my mother is also a heavy cynnical bitcher by habit and I still barely can call anyone besides her. I still stick to the vision, the liberal health dream mostly is over. There is stuff I can do, yet by how Germans eat it's near impossible to make it more of a reality food variety sucks here. Good points: It's not as bad as the diagnosis from the first doctor who had issues with the software this is the 2-3 doctor who confirms me this I don't have as much pain as I changed nutrition and I can still take precautions that are joyful I have to be more creative with freetime activties I might have to leverage travel and photography a lot to get good with women I can focus more specifically now on what to work on thanks to clarity of having to do this, there is no other angle where I could view this issue from besides if science makes progress somehow I have to be more creative with freetime activties I might have to leverage travel and photography a lot to get good with women Bad points: Dating stress and love etc. Loss of status and the oranges It feels like I have to be a scientist when it comes to nutrition and plenty here apparently The region here is to Orange/blue. It's better than before, although there are some disadvantages. It's an odd space to be in I will also meditate and relax, I really have to sell myself differently only as I do have to train differently nothing is lost in that sense, just having ideas for lower body workouts, as I want to disclude squats. The guy in the other gym gave me solid advice, I just can fuck some stuff and do the real thing. With stretching and work on the ACTUAL vision and not the premeditated b.s. I can still swim, take diving lessons, take photos underwater... all of this romantic deeper high value stuff. Just the hardcore HIT edge is tricky. Just take health seriously, also the way I do it it really helps to calm down the nervous system, other humans are suprised by me. Again I am in this odd zone, of I could make the edge the jump the leap and I definitely need to have a calmer nervous system. Also no feedback is like linux.... so it works... I am going to meditate and enjoy the time that I have as a human on planet earth.... next to my second screen they have a lion baby it's so cute it's incredible..... I really need some people who empower black/dark colored skinned people. It's incredible I am glad Leo buys all of these masks at times I wonder why I enjoy animals so much. I will do some work. I just learn from the proper smut also apparently.

Going to be a bit blunt, I am amazed by how they manage to bang so many girls, yet they are all fairly unnattractive and most of my matches are hotter than theirs, this makes me feel better to be calling myself liberal. There have been a couple of internal battles within me, and the largest one is ambition and beign liberal, the issue of health and beign liberal and mostly feeling safe in that area. The calming of my nervous system and using stress properly as well as coffee and how I can calm down the nervous system with this technique and workout karma in that way. The tricky part I find is getting into this dirty stuff. As well as the bitching and moaning about meditation here. It's similar to having a bad relationship, from Leo it's very tricky and I am glad he changed his mind to be less demonizing. It sucks to follow mentors how become all bitchy and bitter about stuff, and then project. Did this for 40 minutes very good digestion of emotional state my nervous system is to aroused when I calm it down more I will get more insights and change the level of neuroticism, even when the fat neighbour moves her chair etc. I am grateful for the early meditation session this morning. I am thankful I can find some peace early in the morning I am thankful that my matches on average are hotter than some lame PUA who is anti-liberall. I am thankful and grateful that I can enjoy life deeper when I am meditating I am thankful for drama not caused by bitter introverts who are using their "logic" to undermind the value of others etc.

I also have no idea how everyone besides liberals is against porn so heavily. I dunno I keep listening to the book of secrets and just masturbation seems to help, channeling any of this does not work without a sex partner and more health insights etc. I dunno I still don't enjoy being human I never really have, at times I do on average I don't I love them, yet I would prefer to not be human...

At least someone loves black people and women dude these pressures on society are real. Preferences and or not you drive consumption as well as the demand. I just can't outwit social contagion 100% and I don't have the best experience with darker skinned women. I dunno, I am just out for now when there is at least one healthy mod in this stupidity. Yet let's see I might rather enjoy some stupid desires despite all of that. I dunno this all reminds me why I choose to be apolitical. Let's see... it's an serious issue to only empower women who run on hypergamy we'd go extinct? I don't enjoy it. Even when I was/am high value it sucks when you consider how high that bar is and how low green is. I rather be dead by a.i to be among green for to long, nothing against healthy empathy, yet the health degeneracy is the issue. Lack of holism. Include all and vegan also.

Should have gone to Yu... I miss a healthy nervous system not impacted by injuries and to much coffee. As well as somewhat more normal life. I miss also authenticity I hope the psychedelic rennesiance makes it. At least yoga cares for health it's incredible how dumb humans are. Also all of this power stuff is so heavy nothing is as chill anymore. Unsure what to think I can't integrate much, also this consciousness communication stuff.... Lord have mercy. I could maybe just chill & see beyond it. Yeah I dunno just fuck humans.

Yeah no I hope A.I either exterminates us or women show me higher development it's an absolute abomination and shameful imo for society to be this way. Ban me for this, yet it's disgusting. But no no we are not racist and prejudiced I don't know. I hope shadow work does help, yet you have to imagine by what average dissugstments I was discriminated and that this type of stuff is among you and you are like this to, but get me some average type foreigner and I get the same type of discrimination. As well as how the lack of empowerment of men is utterly regressive and disparaging. I'll listen to some other stuff it's heavy how dumb PUA's are and how underdeveloped humans are and project legit. I hope a.i does kill us if we are to stupid but it won't. I hope stuff will work out, with this professionalism, animalistic I might ask some questions, yet. By now the excuse of the 90% ugly liberal and the lazyness and lack of caring about aesthetics is bad. Just very bad. No idea anymore I bet these guys even have my IP, possibly I dunno I find it odd. Also building character etc. I dunno I took freedom & autonomey as top value and this happens. I wish at times for certain stuff etc. Be reborn etc. All in all spiritually helped me a lot, yet I find academia and just being human... I don't enjoy it....

The underlying and unsatisfying thing is they are also correct as well as 99.9% of the time the collective is not helping. These groups and humans make me want to vomit. The point is I partially have the same experience and many make it worse by being lazy and materialistic. Also the orange/blue framing and the disgustment this society still is. It should be made illegal for lower than stage yellow development pure to get into c.s as well as engineering test them and allow them to sprial.

I never noticed how much I enjoyed excellence and this has been taken from me mostly. The lower desires are mostly about power and dominance I never noticed. I am not arguing very much with this. Also the fight about points can get so feisty. Somehow it's interesting to read all of this garbage in the group... What I don't enjoy is how stuffed my ambition is and how tricky to channel it. I could have definitely talked to my new friend he helps me to be non-judgemental. Most things I've excelled in have been taken from me and or denied. Playing drums.... father&mother conflict. Etc. I do feel my values have shifted and grown I don't know also without a proper group of more liberal type of conscious gaming I am confused as well as I lost my drive to leadership currently. I also changed because of blooms taxonomy and some other stuff. The point is I do feel and know racism has done some damage and some garbage street dogs riff of that notion for their own enrichment, subtley like today and I had to integrate this also. I don't enjoy not channeling ambition. As well as darker desires of getting laid. As well as currently the coding stuff. I could have taken mastery and excellence I don't enjoy adventure anymore... although it's important and generally. I don't resonate and find currently the type of women that resonates... most normal experiences in life have been somewhat taken by me even when I yearned for help. It was either incompetent or some other stuff. My yoga goals and stretching... having holistic and beautiful women working myself towards that and in a.i ... now I have 20% of this... Let's just listen to some conscious stuff I miss high-end Friends a lot. Maybe they just don't exist.