ValiantSalvatore

What do you think when a women is dating you, yet I have lower status is this an indication of higher development already? I never dated full orange till now. I also can't till how much computer science rings value in terms of this status game stuff...

I am doing an extra session because of this yoga stuff and etc. As well this was all a bit much to integrate and I skipped parts of uni for this sleeping long etc. The point is people want me to hold my word and I had femine role models it was never as bad to not hold my word you see? That is a serious issue. As well as my father never really held this word. I just do a 3-2-1 process for now with the 6w5 guy from university 1) It feels like I am an uncaring asshole that just works hard for his own benefit also to fit in with others and to have friends otherwise I am worthless It feels like I am the one who recognizes that his value is not beign seen for who I am It feels like I am beign seen as a victim thanks to making fun of others and the expectations of having to be a stellar academic because no other role has been ascribed to me. It feels like I am the one who is resenting himself for beign an uncaring asshole although generally it's pretty good thing to have. It feels like I am the one who is unable to show uncaring strength by doing all of his homework and fitting in while absolutely resenting it, beign an undercover rebel It feels like I am the one who is properly doing his work because of the enjoyment of logic and the task itself and masculinity not only femininity It feels like there is a deep seated shame and fear of beign logically dominating and finding flaws as well as executing on them... He looks like a tiny guy with long dark-brown hair, who has to be strong in order for others to make them not look weak while having to do stuff all alone in dire circumstances It feels like he is one of the better students and enjoys the attention and appreciation of these tasks It feels like he is one of the students who I get triggered by because he is more masculine than me while beign a nerd and smaller It feels like I am the one who is scared of becoming more like him because it would give me more points beign the elite... It feels like I am the one who is seemingly neglecting the lower stage of begin the elite and or better than others.... even when it's toxic It feels like there is an unmeet need of having the power to defend It feels like there is an unmeet need of having the abillity to do mathematics well It feels like there is a spectrum of masculine protection there It feels like there are a lot of racist projections there based on unmeet needs and desire and predifned notions and stereotypes that are not computing in this guys brain It looks like there is a need to have and be strong in a masculine way. It looks like he is capeable of digesting more masculine energy than me, as he simply has to be more masculine than me. 2) What do I feel currently what gift are you showing to me? I am legit doing an extra session... you're not beign very intelligent here and act out of fear. Who me or you? You mean you no? You stupid black cu**. Uhm.... this is what I mean you'll feel close to hitler, what is up with this masculine stuff and logic and hence denouncing others of integrity, what kind of domination are you showing me? I generate hate in me like you're some sycophancy lunactic who'd do everything to get laid, and now you just use logic to denounce and find proper evidence. What is up with this perspective? You're correct because I am angry that you get girls for free. For free?? Are you insane how many projections I get and how many approaches I'd have to do even in total when they're less and the types of you just attack and create bitterness, you're the fervency of hatred. Why are you there? What gift you showing me today? That feverency of hatred that you call is the use of logica to be able to determine what is going to happen next instead of reyling only on your intuition, you never honed your logic only analysis. What I can tell you so far is that you fear logic and you fear acting more intellectually masculine, and hide it in a creative way. What else are you showing me? I am glad you say this to me. The point is you want to be like me when it comes to mathematics and you still want women and not be a nerd, while I also seem to have that persona and you too, we are both not using our masculine strength of perspectivel giving/direction and aggressiveness, and instead are not keeping our word out of fear. Why are you not keeping your word man? Dude at times I just experienced this to often, I don't know any better as well as how significant it is for others, I stopped hoping in a sense. What am I beign shown? You're beign shown you're own masculine strengths in terms of logica and anylsis, you are good at determening steps and procedures you're just afraid of doing it. You're also an uncaring asshole who does not care about the soul of the other human. Why do I fear pain so much? It simply is the case.... you fear pain because you're afraid of beign seen as a weakling, while it's the total opposite, you dislike it when others see you in pain and stress as somehow you internalized it as stupid and dumb to be in panic and stress. So what else are you teaching me currently? You seem afraid and you clearly now have a taste of what you want in life more after getting laid, you definitely yearned for so long to be good with women and are afraid of approaching younger ones, out of fear of rejection and repute. What is up with the repute thing? You seem like a dog that does not care. YOU ARE CORRECT I DON'T CARE ABOUT REPUTE AND YOU NEITHER, yet seemingly I am slightly better at it. Today you saw two girls worthy of approaching and getting the number, and all you thought about was the name of the girl you slept with while you did well dismantiling these thoughts, you realized how you enjoy it when women love your body and worship you as a king so to speak, you absolutely fking enjoy it. Don't lie to me. There are men who'd kill for such an experience and have to pay for this, you got it effortless for free, just by sheer luck? Was it luck? Tell me huh? Got slightly triggered? Well I'd figured I could say I got lucky, yet I put myself out there and did approach and played my cards still right, so no matter how much luck, there is some skill involved. So why are you so triggered what do you fear currently? I am asking you that..... why do I fear you? You fear interacting and beign thought from kids younger than you by a lot almost, and you fear all of these old wounds showing up, that you clearly see and feel and asshole fuck dogs riding on it like lethargic mentally handicapped cripples who care for nothing besides their own merit. You see the diffrence between an uncaring assholes and a caring one? You're afraid of the uncaring asshole and the reprecussions of it. What other gift are you showing to me? You certainly yearn to be cool, in the sense of repute of beign uncaring and cool about the repute. We both do see that.... all I can give more integration to do now! 3) I am the one who cares about beign cool and having a repute, yet still does not care about it's gain and losses I am the one who is an uncaring and strong asshole I am the one who yearns to be more masculien through logic and analysis I am the one who yearns and is acting intellectually more dominante I am the one who hates and dislikes beign an academic, yet enjoys the learning experience I am the one who neglects the stage blue expert mode and how it makes academic pussy wet I am the one who is more interested in having beautiful women in an uncaring asshole manner and to stop caring about beauty like an idiot I am the one who is afraid of masculine feedback as others do it so often to you, it's like when you do it they bring the entire gang and gang-rape/kill you it works better 1 on 1 I am the one who is more like an ESTP 6w5 buddy who goes through the rough times and still comes out ahead of others I am the one who realizes that others see more more as of a man as well as you enjoy more beign intellecutally a man and also beign masculine that way, yet this will get you a true emporer vibe I am the one who is disgusted my mentally handicapped step-wise oriented kids, who are only seeing the logical side of it. I prefer the chances over steps. I am the one who prefers chances over steps I am the one who realizes that women are limited by what they do, due to their natural desires and inclinations and they prefer to make you strong I am the one who negletcs is uncaring asshole side and the desire to leave others in the dust and dominate it's not good to repress this domination side of you. This is mostly it...

-30 points for Leo Gura, beign not online giving whacks. I can integrate tolerating masculine energy more, it's a shame and masculine issue in a sense, the point is when I think about stuff without going astray. I also get headlights at times as well as the social conditioning of blacks is partially abhorent. I was shown also. I just realized. That I have to integrate legit ESTP 6w5 tendencies which is a total opposition to me, it's insane how much "bad luck" you can I have I legit realized that I am an uncaring asshole not a caring one. That is a fault when it comes to dating apparently or let's say attracting women and not the relazionship part. I am generally still on the fence with the girl I f*ed in terms of just simply having more girls. What I am confused about mainly and fundamentally is how much of an uncaring asshole I need to be. Where I can meet higher and lower evolved women. Also somehow I have the entire orient now beign more attuned to me, reading these downloads is still odd, and working on both ends. With more approaches I'd have more direct feedback. This is mainly and fundamentally it I would like to do a shadow work session now. Somehow my internet is not working. I am realizing more stuff, as well as the issue of the liberal conditioning that is centrist, it's to much science based. I also find this tricky when a lot of intelligent people expect a lot from me etc. As I do a lot of work alone, it's odd to contemplate. As well as a lot of guys just expect me to be a man, I don't even know I stumble upon subtelties. This is also very tricky to contemplate and feel, especially giving perspectives and leading and making decisions constantly.

I legit just listend to the way of superior men on my way back home and they legit recommend the opposite, to not deny the lust. She wants to feel shiva in a sense. I do resonate with the guy I am in a group where stuff is shared and more in this way. Beign an uncaring asshole generally is good. I recommend reading Heartise if you can, it's insane what this book says and teaches. It's almost to funny to not read it. Especially, if you're American although it's not the holy bible, it's just a very good read. It dovetails quiet well with what the guy teaches, and teaches a lot of don'ts also I was first pissed reading it. It showed me a lot of masculine conditioning at Orange that I still need to integrate and laugh about, as it's relative... yet very true for the stage.... It's supposed to be respressed shame for masculine energy, and it certainly is the case for me at times. I do have a stronger sexual essence than I thought. For example I held direct eye contact more to train social skills a girl today was fully turned by just a simple look. Then I snapped into neutral logic. Other stuff also body language is immensely underrated. Also the way of superior men imo.

50 min meditation approx. I am contemplating if I should go to the lecture, yet I will it's a better space and headspace I am in right now. With subtle planning and more social connections, social game and online game. Networking acting on synchronistic kind of events. Let's see how far we'll go.... I am grateful I slept with the girl from Syria and that she was a hot intellectual as well as intellectually interesting and educated I am grateful I am not doing as bad as a seemingly 40 y.o indian guy he struggles immensely I am grateful for the Yoga idea and for integral slightly sending masculine punches I completely forgot, I also can be hypercompetitive.... the idea of it gives me energy.... it's like I am harnessing dark energy I am grateful for matches and likes from women who are oriential and deeply sexually interested I am grateful for history in a sense and producing beautiful women from all over.... I am grateful for fun.

I listend to the way of superior man yesterday and today while in the shower. I procrastinated because I noticed I was to much into spiraling down mode. The key insight that I forgot from all the intense workout I've did and the mastery process injuries... is that noticing fear is showing you your slightly working on your edge to overcome yourself and the current version of yourself. Also that criticism of men and beign able to take it is a test of masculine energy in terms of challenge. I completley forgot this nugget of wisdom as some might need stronger hits, while I am generally more gentle.... I receive plenty of this currently in this new group I am in, and it's and odd feeling having to proof my worth in that sense. That idea is generally different, I do believe others value me because of diversity and curiosity and newness which make it tricky, also for wisdom and knowledge, although I am more focused on applied wisdom, not knowledge. I had to digest the getting laid, part this was the first time ever I had sex, I did not want to write this publically at least in the dating section, as it's something I wanted to share with people closer to me. To my not surprise surprise nobody was that surprised as they all think I slayed 20000 women when they see me, it's incredible if I have layed 10k I bet this perception will increase to 200k etc. As I just seem to have some masculine presence that opens up even, the so called PUA's I mean why else would they be so kind to help me? Also lifters etc. Balance is an insane quality to develop, it just makes you intelligent I'd say....now I procrastinated and had to digest the stuff that happend, as I noticed I am not the best at receiving masculine energy post injury, I was good at it before and some really crave this saturn god eater type energy of me, like absolute neutral negativity for feedback. My father is quiet stupid for giving me a second name like this, last time I talked to him I absolutely lost it, because he was such a bitch boy I could not believe this creature is my father. All I can say. Let's see how far I can take masculine energy, and challenge and take more masculine energy and tests of love. I completely forgot this content and the German version of it I notice it does not stick as much in my brain. It's also a tad to soft....

Will do if it's worth it! Elitist selection from evolutionary algorithms, when I recall correctly it helps the entire population. I was not the best at this lecture, many struggle with this, so information could be partially wrong, but here is the source. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selection_(genetic_algorithm)#:~:text=Retaining the best individuals in,of constructing a new population.

Fundamentally I got laid, and just want to gather content from different sources and opinions to find sort of a best fit, to make this more concise I just list some stuff. Sex was pretty good lasted for 2h, she was interested in all of the sex topics stuff (books I have) and is also more serotonin pathway oriented.... although society is quiet ridiculous me 2 also. I did not ask for a number, as keeping it on the app seemed to persevere fantasy and world of the girl I basically made her laugh during sex and she moaned pretty hard and enjoyed it I did not cum I dunno a lot of emotional stuff in my life She seemed to enjoy all of this a lot Fundamentally my question is what are possible options after getting laid it was quiet compatible there is a lot of good stuff coming out of this, it basically could turn into a longterm/short-term relationship. I just find it tricky to navigte the social sphere I am mostly interested in growing as a human, yet obviously I will maximize my possibilities to get laid, for multiple reasons. Any thoughts to mull over? We're compatible, yet she is not a RGW = Really Great Women (term from an audiobook) so it's not till now what I feel would be smth, yet I also never know etc. This mostly strengthen my vision based on the value of connection somehow. I will ask her out again, or just go for cooking I presume, yet what are usual ways you get into "post sex calibration" after getting laid I frankly also don't care I just want her to feel good about herself and enjoy growth. Other questions... What are good responses times after meeting and having sex to not make her feel like a total "slut" etc? She might like it also, so I dunno. What are ideas to meet, it's fundamentally the same routine sort of? Find some chill activity and do it, lead again to getting laid etc. Any big picture thoughts etc. appreciated.

Let's hope this does the trick and I can fully engage with what i enjoy and need also. As well as get rid of all of the stuff. Creating more fundamentals! Building on expertise... next shadow work session is stage blue perfecting and crafting type of stuff. My blue might be better than orange, I am not the best at orange although I have cravings for implementing blue to stage orange. Deida&Sex Audiobooks on! More masculinity that is healthy and more creations of interconnections. Creating beats all.

I legit can't do more and less. Doing less might not be that great for me and I just need some stretching also. I am implementing advice from 2017 I can't believe it, yet these meditator groups are not that good generally speaking. Not enough people....

Being stupid now once, then I am heading into integration of all, again meeting others usually gives me stabillity. I can fundamentally also then work within, without as well as beyond the social sphere in that sense.

With enough experience in this I can even get out of the matrix it's funny legit. It's also something I could offer within a company etc. As well as would hone deeper skill building I would just go there tomorrow, omfg I can't belive I could make a tiny list also like Teal Swan and look for more details and continue with the shadow work. When I have more income I also include a psychotherapist every 2 weeks, to just work on me beign "perfect" at blue. I don't neccessarily... thing this will cease to exist... if stage orange last so long into age.... anyway.

Currently I am contemplating what life choices I could have done to find it was good to get laid, I don't enjoy at times beign human.... I just started to enjoy it more I also would appreciate it more if I'd had an animal. As I would think more about life. I just have some plants here, yet they are very small. The point for me currently is the following. I don't know exactly what happend that I feel internally that I've downgraded as much. I feel that connecting to women emotionally and sexually currently is the best gateway, I notice how social contagion is being funneled into me. There are some dreams and desire I'd long to create, yet fundamentally the girl from yesteday ish? Was really perfect... I just miss that having masculine friends is great. As well as working on projects that I love and the underlying pain just at times does not want to make me work harder/smarter... Usually stuff does to happen, especially when I show my face... somehow humans appreciate me besides some envious dogs and clowns. I remember also how currently all patterns happen. I bet I was the first one she banged over Tinder as new accounts generally like me more than older ones. I might have neglected the coolness aspect of materalism a lot, and the more stage red type of assertivness and animal type thinking... materalistically, although I've burnt plenty of it. What I can for sure tell is the following. My vision was never as crip and clean and sequential as I'd hope it'll be The intellectual domain is and was a level of escapism that I did not see before as deeply, it's also growth Having a girlfriend that I can count on and I can giver her security would make me feel more happy than having a lot of ONS Dating a stage green girl that is impractical is not good I legit would say a lot of things that would disclude me from yesterday, like I love her etc. The memory is nice to open my heart.... I wish I would be in the working force, yet ultimately all of this suffering is just there. Even today when I make a huge list of what makes me happy. I would say depth, not my abillity to produce depth physically is restricted... emotionally I dunno due to meditation. I legit dropped into a very deep lethargy when I did not drink coffee omfg. I did not believe it. just taking more action and successes make me happy.... I never noticed how much I crave success, yet I've been around to many merit type of loosers, who made it tricky to embody the emotion and solo successes for sure are different, they just build baseline confidence. Yet success in some socially respected domain for sure can create happiness in me. Generally just doing social activities successfully not work, yet a gym visit etc. And then the seperation of that... I'd still like to relish in the success of yesterday. Yes! I finally got laid after messaging so many girls and producing so much effort and pre-planning and it was just one single girl, that was almost neatly as perfect..... And I did not enjoy it that much, even if it was perfect.... yet that makes the dream good no? I have tears in my eyes typing this. She might intutively been even higher as she was an INTJ with a more uncommon life experience my wild guess... yet I showed her also my scar.... that I have since birth.... it might just be stuff in my head is more enjoyable than things in the real world.... I loved it how she caressed it and said it looked like thunder... I just loved it that she narccistically enjoyed my body, that I legit before worker so hard to train, just to build also physical not only mental intimacy. I miss having more romantic type of experiences.... many of them were better in memory than in person.... for me at least. The girl I deeply loved and we went to Paris and I thought about kissing her on the eifel tower constantly both thinking oh this has to be perfect, and she legit often walked away when I felt the intention to do it. Beign more practical creating more flow and goals. Having more love and access to depth.... emotionally, physically, mentally, intellectually.... what else is there legit to do?... spiritually. ----- More real world thoughts: The city might overall still be to small to consistently meet and get new girls. Scheduling a masculine shooting and buying some sunglasses etc. other steps that give me joy. Buying some products technical products and development. I don't see progress that well and I found a new other community where I am very much appreciated.... this also feels so good.... I just don't know exactly. I really enjoy it to dominate physically, I notice I need more smaller rewards. I enjoy to be seen on camera I love to self-reflect. Even if I'd be an A.I I would find flaws in my abillity to do capacity X. How awesome is that? Is growth truely not ever-ending? What happend to my metaphysical inclinations to turned the pussy wet of girls like this yesterday, what happend to intellectual domination instead of scyophancy. What happend to this type of linguist domination that so many enjoyed? That brought me even a lot of wins and mental advantages. It's mostly the channeling of stage blue expert thinking to higher ideas and releams for diversity and variety. ---- Creating numbers, scaling products, making profits, cashing in, having money, spending more larger loads of money, beign an idiot at times, strengthening and hoening physical prowess. And now Yoga on a discount 便宜 bitches I can't man just someone send me to prision finally to have a ring battle with Andrew Tate. I dunno maybe I am just wrong. I am learning all of IT ALL OF IT! How can I be so blind? The most ridiculous alpha pua does the female and the male stuff. It's ridiculous.

I dunno I presume the actions just spoke for themselves. It legit had tiny bits of god-like elements I meditated the whole time, when I was conscious of it, she was impacted by this, yet I was not hitting any deeper flow states. I just wish they could be a little taller currently, bro I love you for the advice I don't even believe it .

Pretty much sums it open, imagine I broke through all of it alone again, just to have it taken by smth. I don't have a single point of influence in besides when I really go down memory lane, yet these are scenarios based on advice from others where time played a role. The point is you're a natural clearly, I do have to learn parts of game just "beign myself" is advice that does not work. That is what I meant! She became me, there is no difference just physical bodies corroborating each others intent. I loved to do it with LSD with her to explore more the conscious aspects, yet I missplayed it eventually I thought I just need tabs in case this happens again. Bro her pussy smelled so nice :( You legit are a god! I will just do Yoga eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . It's legit 1 min away from me and I get some connection and train my body&health etc. I never meet a guru, mostly just meditators and one who is deeply enlightend in that sense, it's a way more dry dynamic. I have something else in memory from David Deida and being more of a lover instead of a friend etc. She should not play the role of a friend, yet I might be wrong. Thank you all in all I will just start yoga I did a course before from Sadghuru as I wanted to do a retreat in India . Thanks for the deeper interconnection of topics! I would not have Googled Yoga for 1h now . I am going to be a dirty yogi . I can't belive this shit at times it's to funny. I love you thanks! That is the weirdest thing, yet so true. I missed the interconnections of worlds and crafting and continuing to crafte in mine and this world! That is true she intutively yearnd for this, it's funny that when you code this into an algorithm.... all stakeholders improve their selection apparently. Yeah I dunno, yet thank you for all the insights! I will do Yoga the region here is based on connection and I am the idiot who keeps looking at the wrong ends partially.

Overall I am learning immensely with little experience. The point is making it enjoyable and beign grateful and not a doormat, to integrate animal & god at the sametime.

I dated a bunch of girls last week. She is not replying I was curious I should have asked for a number, this was advice from guys who are telling me to stop doing rocket science in a sense. I presume I made her feel good she would have even stayed longer for an hour to take the subway back, I do like her. I drove her back instead. I cried on the way back in the car because of her life story and just human history etc. I might overall been to nice still you see? She enjoyed it a lot when I was dominating her telling me. I do have long-hair for a reason. This is somewhat a common pattern in my life. Girls are wild definitely. This is most likely it I did not ask for a number and in that sense continued the connection, as she said yes in person to future meet-ups post-sex. She seemed to have enjoyed it otherwise we would not have done it for 2h, as well as willing sit on my lap readily post-sex the point is girls expect a little more also when you're buff/atheletic, and I lost a lot of masculine drive you see? (I believe she really liked my dick but okay she also said it and moaned quiet load). She is most likely also dating around as she is young 20 years old, so I just thought also fuck it, if it does not work, let her have fun. I am having fun on my own with her and without her. We did bond definitely not all to deep, I'd say it was good. If it was that great she'd most likely would reply to some manner afterwards. There was no focus on autonomey, I did not ask for her number simply as I figured the app is fine to persevere the bond you see? Apparently that was the wrong choice from all the feedback I've gathered, although the experience alone let me grow I still notice it it was fantastic, and I am grateful to her. I just seem to be confusing my body is bombarded with 10k impulses for different reasons, so I might at times act like I am socially unaware, yet I am physically more aware.... than I thought.... so yeah. Next time I ask for a number and build more sexual intimacy, and connect more emotionally, I've found better questions, I do also have more life experience hence the connection was not as big, if she would have told me more about her life I would have broken out into tears, it's insane how f'ed the world is based on war. To be more specific and practical to the points you've made! Correct she wants me to take action and lead 100% of the time and still take into account her desires etc, I could have led more it's insane how much she would have appreciated me as a honry dog in terms of contrast. I could have gotten her number and called her to take action and continue the bond, be like hey what's up you enjoyed last night?. I'll let you know when I am free etc. The point is I never noticed how sexual girls even see me, just reading analyzing and implementing is a great tool! She poked fun at me and "shit tested" as a computer science guy, I bet you've did not see a lot of tities, I told her I've seen a couple and played around more with them (sincerity). I took mostly action from these test, it's more like I never acted on sexual impulses and girls seem to be very open to me sexually. She loved my larger lips and she could not get enough of them legit! She kept asking me if I like it slow and or fast. My brain does not compute these concepts I legit wanted to make her squirt the whole time, and have a double orgasm. She legit became me in that sense that was the most interesting observation, my desire was her desire in that moment, if I could have we both would have cum. It legit was perfect ??. I did not come most likely due to emotional reasons having been to the doctor the day before, and changing health perspectives and goals and life plans etc. No, I feel this costed sexual polarity between me and the girl as I was to nice, and not more animalistic. Best friends vibe imo is not good from conscious information from David Deida, she wants to be taken and f*ed at least this was how it felt to me as well as for her. Basically ravishing her having more of this "animal connection". It would be more enticing if I would have asked and move more into sexual topics and likes and dislikes, we might have been to friendly you see? I don't know how she personally feels without asking and having her number I presume, yet if she is not responding she simply does not care. I can ask her for a girls number next time, I had to distill some essentials and focus more on connection part, I at times can be very intellectual and saiposexual if we're mentally not clicking the bond is not that strongly on for me. Even if sex is good etc. I enjoy it when she's a little more teasing etc. Generally connecting more on an emotional level, my heart does seem to become more open despite all mistakes, all it takes is experience. The point is beign assertive and confident is still very important and not beign a doormat. Anyway thank you! No need to respond further if you're not yourself interested this is plenty of feedback in the outer/inner field of attraction and dating. Thank you a lot!!! Also thanks for not pocking and or making fun of me, I sometimes feel I notice more than even, so called advanced gamers. Although it's mostly based on physical bonding, so you're intuition is correct. I do just have to learn more here so again thank you!

Most likely the complexity of the response, spiral dynamics is not as good as Wilbers model imo who goes more into the depth of holons and how evolutions is nested within smaller and larger holons, the higher can't exist without the lower. The point is there is also ego development and spiral dynamics is about values mostly. Ego development is more of a hallmark than value development generally speaking and is independent of what makes a full grown actualized beign in that sense. Spiral dynamics is an enactment of internal values, and life conditions foster them. Person B for example is more evolved than Person A as he/she recognizes the relativity and importance of the earlier stages like an adult realizes the validatity of a perspective of a child, when I hold a blue ball and the child can't developmentally comprehend that I see the world differently than it (red egocentric stage) and he/she tells me it's blue and I tell her no it's orange, it can't realize that I tricked it. Till the next stage occures where group-thinking and perspectival higher/later thinking occures. Fundamentally the distinction is based on perspectives the n'th perspective of smth. will include all previous perspectives. Hence why it's later/higher. Stage turqouise is not the peak of evolution there is third tier. This evolution is still happening just most don't do it and it's not enforced in a massive scale. Academics will be cognitively Turqouise/Yellow mostly, yet they can't go beyond as third tier is transcendental thinking, conventional thinking interconnecting etc is just different here. For example when I had a taste of what consciouness is (absolute discernment) it just is, it's not an ordinary state of consciouness. Distinctions and space became clearer and clearer. That is also only cognitive, not emotionally and morally, omfg that is abhorrently regressive imo. Most academics are according to O'Fallon on stage orange/blue of spiral dynamics if you dovetail models.

I continued reading the book it takes for ever and cracks me up, as I see more of the orange/blue liberterian reality and libertine = wüstling/freigeist etc. It's still odd to contemplate all of this and move more into the animal domain of life and simply embrace it. The girl was quiet hot I am legit proud of myself in a sense that I laid her and fked her for 2h. She legit hided the condom first, dude I was amazed by how far I could got and how much girls enjoy raw animalistic pleasure and dominance, I could have done way way way more, yet I lost a lot of edge. I would like to see how hot yoga would go and more just "deep domination aspects of sex" as well as how this connected this time to the value of connection also senses etc. I could sell myself better.

Yeah this is more in alignment of the better advice, I did not ask for a number I can be emotionally very closed off, as I contemplate emotions a lot. Anyway she does not text back I could have just asked her for her number and said to her I'll let you know when I am free. So I intutively have her back as well as I am not constraining her. I did not go for this simply I was to much into logic mode. I don't fear commitment I might just don't really know what it is. I must have made it slightly akward by not asking for the number. I thought keeping it on the app was better as I dated 4 girls this week and the only one where I did not have the number I legit laid her. Although I could have gone more with the flow = create flow, yet I do have some issues with that currently energetically after the injury I noticed it's a mental construct still it has a physical reality, I don't feel as strong anymore, hence loosing masculine presence. Yeah I definitely could have asked for her number, instead of keeping it on the app. I received the same advice in a sense with going with the flow. The point is providing security in terms of confidence and strength seems to be the biggest turn on, and ever since the injury I don't feel as strong and bold anymore, so I do my best with the current strength I've had building mental strength and resilliance is what seems to be also possible. What I lack currently is conviction in my vision and life, as I drew a lot from this through physical health now it's mostly emotional and mental. I definitely need both techniques and mindsets etc. I don't at times have the energy anymore to maintain flow that deeply. So I might deviate from more fine-tuned flow that is not that palpable in the connection process with the girl, the point is also as I do a lot of flow based type meditation I create a lot of flow. At times you don't even get credit for it, yet I could just simply take it.... similar to how I laid her... so that is interesting. Thanks for sharing thoughts and giving me the opportunity to reflect properly! As well as connecting more emotionally, generally all of this is very interesting.

I am thankful for finally getting laid with a hot and young girl as well as having good sex I am thankful for meditating today I am thankful for going into the gym right now I am thankful for improving my dating skills I am thankful I am not banging and dating girls for long who are incompatible and unfit to me I am thankful for the beautiful weather and envisioning the future

The only thing that I can take from this is that I can apply the training more often, of sequences and don't bother with visualizing to much and make it more of a set sequence, when I recall actively this is also where I had the best results, when I made it to elaborate it did not fully workout anyway...

I could go slower, I was a bit to ambitious and energetic, I don't know if I crippled my own vision. There are different things. This is ultimately it. I did not have the abillity to pursue that level of significance and proper planning. This is perfect, also I did not find the right proper way I am legit I did not do the proper thing. I thought I was thinking long-term, I notice how I keep thinking in poverty, by not creating the social abundance I never noticed. Maybe this is what the value of connection was about. Social abundance..... with a bit more smartness...... Hacking &Slaying posts: Unsure what else to think currently, I don't feel like I can fully enjoy beign me. I did not invest in proper fundamentals as it's so implied in German society also at times because we still value mastery heavily, yet not the mastery of entrepreneurship this is why many are so interested in it nowadays. I don't know how far I go into my life purpose, I legit decided to not do the operation for now... it took my two years to mull this over and test with various things and aspects coaches, and information. Currently I just notice and feel how difficult it is when you're framed into multiple things and even when you have a holy plan, how many different obstacles you have to sort of over-visualize to make the same vision still correct. I don't know if consistenty is not efficient I don't know. I wanted to do this. This also gave me multiple impetuses, I do feel liberals don't value fundamentals as much. Today is YU day. We'll get this without turning into demons, yet demons shall be purified. I don't know what is better my reflections and reviews or my implementations. I do still say shadow work and vision most likely is the true me from all this work.

1h meditation with visualizations, they are not fully crips, I don't know exactly why and which mechanism works the best I do a tiny bit better guided, as well as practice of what I visualize is also needed, I might slowly build the vision, it's mostly goals and activites around coding and mathematics and women as well as health. To be very specific is still not easy.

I also believe watching most of Leo's content made me immune and aware of the toxic pitfalls and obviously the only other German in there takes it super real because of privacy. I can be a little more loose thanks to skin color, yet I clean up basically the other end. I legit am a fool, as well as I miss proper skill and health. Basic power it's not all to bad just it's not the most optimal living strategy though I am confused ngl.