ValiantSalvatore

You see a possibility for NFT's? As well as A.I art in the near future & or even now? I've been to the first&only NFT galary inside Germany recently and talked to the owner. It did not seem promising, yet I liked the art and he gave me some names to look into. He said it's all very early still. Would you recommend getting into this if you enjoy investing & finances as well as art? I enjoy digital art a lot, and I would like to decorate my room in the future with screens of NFT arts etc. Similar to the art galary. If not just this, as I enjoy the digital space a lot... also for psychdelic trips etc. To have some art there ... as an enhancement is my idea. I regreted not opening up my bitcoin business when this space started to boom & gain tracktion... as I do like marketing to some level.

Italian locals are all family if they don't speak much english this is extremely difficult if you can get to a modern area, it should not matter as much. ( I grew up with some italians inside Germany, it's better to meet in modern areas from most observations - there is more open-mindedness). Also could simply be the region where you're at. This is sort of semi giving away your availabillity, and a little bit of the "excitable boy syndrom" that I'd like to extinguish within me at times. Nothing agaisnt excitement! Yet, it certainly can be to soft and nice for example. They are also low effort messages, personalize them a bit with the experience you've made. I wish I could give better feedback. I am still learning and in a group that is quick shocking, yet helps actively with this... if you want I could ask if you could join, it's solely for game, yet quiet toxic. Very toxic I am just learnign at one point and leaving this or keep it legit for entertainment somehow it protects me from completely going stupid. Test if you're into beign a bit more playful with -10 points for lack of a prompt response when a girl does not reply with the first text message of what you've sent. It works wonders for me if any girl online does not reply to your texts, it's a bit of a checky punishment, and get's at lest more replies back than for example. Are you always that talkative? When I get no response after 24h, this does also work. It also plays with stage orange performance drive imo, the point thingy. I just revived one text for example with this thing, and she asked me now to come to her city. (online-game). She has no car. My game currently is online. You don't strike me as an local girl. (I open her) wow are you flirting with me? (she opens me Bumble) Then get her to drinks ASAP, my last convo for tomorrow went like. You don't strike me as an opener (I open her) 2 blocks of text about my bio & her ethnicity (very interesting girl) I just wrote. Okay, I have heard enough. Let's go for drinks what's your schedule look like? (I never thought this would work, this was advice from one mentor [conscious one!!!! with physics degree...]). She replied bla bla tuesday I could squeeze in evening. I suggested XX at YY. We're meeting tomorrow, this is sort of the little text game stuff that currently seems to work in this world... hope the share is of value at some level to you!

Did you read heartiste? One part about being emotionally open shocked me was a good strategy for game. To empathize with the girl, and think like a girl, you could have definitely played with the notion of her liking you and went charming. Instead of gratifying her ego for looks and be indifferent about her beign into you, as this creates mystery imo... It's cool that you got two hotties on that are into you. What did you reply out of curiosity? I am not the best at game, yet I seem to be doing decent according to my mentor with whom I went out once. I also became less bitter and angry as I get more girls and meet-ups. He was pretty hype about me, yet I had no clue and told him different stuff, as my perception is I bet a bit like yours, as you I bet enjoy quality time & physical touch. Standard reply that works for me currently is -10 points for lack of a prompt response, after 24h. If she does not reply to this I would move on. I am re-building myself currently after a diagnosis health wise, I can't change much about. I mostly do online. What about night clubs & bars? It should not matter to much at night.

You're welcome! Shinzen is confusing at the beginning you're not alone! It took me a while and I was also very eager to figure out the best possible way to practice after 8 years of testing. (2-3 years even approx no meditation at all, because of life circumstanes testing stopping from practice etc.) Check out Audible if you have a subscription. https://www.audible.de/pd/The-Science-of-Enlightenment-Hoerbuch/B004UZHDYW?qid=1684182735&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=e54013e2-074a-460e-861f-7feac676b789&pf_rd_r=B2K44BQ1GAW94P3X8NF2&pageLoadId=1smtWZpCwtE6KYno&creativeId=41e85e98-10b8-40e2-907d-6b663f04a42d This will fundamentally explain some stuff about meditation, history. I can also recommend to not get to hung-up on any opinion and see for yourself what works & what doesn't. Also Ken Wilber books so you see what b.s replies you get, and can see where there is the silver-lining is within all the comments posted. Check out Leo's videos on God-Realization also, this could give you also more of a glimps what to look forward to what is not apparently within all these paradigms. That I posted and are talked about in this thread. Take your time & stick with smth. while exploring options. You can get help here with stuff. Also at best don't get into the relativity about things some stuff works better than other stuff. The is the whole point about relativity some things are better in accordance than others, stay consistent! Get a career going and get a degree etc. if possible and move to a country etc. I bet in Turkey you can also find more options for meditation/girls/girlfriend/studying abroad etc. Where there is more open-mindedness. I am not from Iraq, I don't know much about the country, yet I have a friend from there. Hope this helps!

There are many options to pull from, especially as you're young and seem eager to explore, if you can hold a 45min-1h practice there are many adult meditators IIRC who need a coach as well as just do 30 minutes, the 1h pays off, especially with psychdelic stability if you're interested in that, yet I would recommend doing that when you're 21 y.o and stable financially not in any student situation where you can't afford a life changing/altering trip, if you can for whatever reason go ahead! Also... If the link does not work google: "home practice programm Shinzen Young" see what you can find this is where he holds online retreats for 90$ each month, you may apply for scholorship, so definitely reach out. https://www.shinzen.org/resources/articles/ Fundamentally there is: See in Feel In Hear In See Out Feel Out Hear Out See Out (closed & open eyes & half-open eyes...) See flow Feel Flow Hear flow Out & In (I do this, yet barely any home practice programm included this) Expansion&Contraction Flow Hear good (positive mantra could be "ohm" as well as "I am confident and healthy") See good (visualzation practice) Feel good (evoking positive emotions) Be good (use all of the good stuff & contemplate archetypal beigns & qualities for example compassionate leader you'd enjoy beign some hero & god type figure who's quality you'd enjoy) Do Nothing, Open Awareness, Constrictive focus See Space... -> you intuit the space in & around an experience behind your back, infront of your eyes etc. Feel Space -> you move into this space Hear Space (no idea anymore if this existed..., yet Shinzen is open to anything new, you can intuit hear space around the ears & eyes which activates his wisdom function) Just Space Just Hear (in&out/or one of both) Just Flow Just Feel (in&out/or one of both) Just See ((in&out/or one of both) Hear Space between the head&eyes -> Auto Talk Auto Walk Feel Bounce IIRC -> I don't know anymore what this does He also has some sort of self-inquiry at times Obviously All Chanting also with numbers for concentration that is & was also fun (1,2,3,4842,23,23,23,2,12945234,234 all said out loud for example) https://www.shinzen.org/auto-think-a-strategy-for-fostering-the-wisdom-function/ This is fundamentally it of what I can actively recall. It's more personal, I never heard the info above, yet I certainly unknotted the knot to a great deal at the heart center/solar plexus. It's a lot of stress and old imprints from sensations etc. Samskharas is also a term used, in Pali or Sanskirt. It most likely is the same thing, yet there are 100% technical difference, I am just going of my own experience here. IMO this will not give your stream entry, when I talked to Shinzen he gave me the outline above approx. with an emphasis on retreats, for a no bullshit approach his teacher Janusz Welin, gave me the info with 3 months as I asked him what it takes to reach Stream Entry. Can't share more infos currently. Hopefully you can benefit from all of this. 100% yes, it's not easy. You're doing well I bet you definitely should apply to this if possible & talk with Shinzen about your practice as you're extremely young. https://www.lifepracticeprogram.com/

Focus on getting some career started otherwise the path is not sustainable where you're able to do some retreats as well as move out of the country that would be better, as a primary goal otherwise stuff is not as sustainable! For clear instructions See,Hear,Feel technique read the PDF from Shinzen: https://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/FiveWaystoKnowYourself_ver1.6.pdf Take notes and see what works for you what doesn't Especially be open to other paths and retreats just follow the instructions and don't make a fuss about stuff etc. I never did the mind illuminated as I did not find anyone else and I definitely need some level of connection with others, as Shinzen has stuff online available. I did listen to it in an Audiobook format, yet I did not resonate to much with it, as it fosued so much on concentration You can do online retreats and solo retreats, I bet still in Iraq you can rent some place and do a solo-meditation if you can't leave the country If you start shaking you certainly are evoking some kriya type experiences and imprints from the past that are swelling up within the present. Just take it slow and nudge yourself up slowly there is no need to rush the process, I also don't do strong-determination sittings, I get also a lot of kriyas and I had a full-blown one twice, it's not as fun and you certainly don't want that, to be a hallmark for growth more the depth of the positive, it's more of a side-effect of the path. For more clear instructions also: Yes, note and focus on the objective of meditation you can do it algorithmically, focus only on one sensation at a time and restrict it to let's say only internal talk and internal feeling for this session -> build more concentration. You can focus on the expansive quality of the sensation -> Ex: feeling becoming very warm and full inside, you notice the spread of sensation X, also sound etc. You can focus on the contraction quality of the sensation -> Ex: noticing fear when a certain thought evokes inside You can focus for 10 minutes on one sensation (only feeling in, only feeling out etc.) -> concentration build They all reinforce each other concentration builds clarity & equanimty etc. and all vice-versa. There is no real way, yet you can define goals, the outline I gave above is stream-entry favourable. You can super-charge... this by doing a 3 months retreat in Thailand etc. Read the masterings of the core teachings of the buddah if you can (I did not fully read it) You can also do-nothing and just let each sensation arise&pass Don't focus only on buddhism check what Leo does also 100% career and education has prio otherwise spirituality will not workout You can structure your practice yourself. For example 10 min concentration, 20 min open-awarness, 20 min concentration on sensation X instead Y. Check-out https://insighttimer.com/ as an app on the appstore, you find guided meditations from Shinzen there (not the best ones, live is better). You can decide yourself, you are also for more realistic expectations a beginner for the first 10 years or so, you can 100% speed up the process, especially (I am no doctor!!) as you're growing and very very young man. Let meditation be a side thing and focus your lifestyle&structure to be able to do retreats & afford them etc. You design your life! (Also check out Peter Ralston, you'll find more connection here with this) You can take online retreats from Shinzen here and eventually apply for a scholorship: https://homepracticeprogram.com/ To give an example I do open-awareness meditation & see hear feel with mostly a restriction on: Feel in, Feel flow, expansion&contracion flow & hear in. I don't get to much visual material. If you really want to go crazy, you can include space as an object in meditation and focus on the expansiveness&contractivness of space, yet building up concentration is important. I am certainly biased by the forum to an extend. I also can't sit crossed-legged etc. If you're young definitely prepare for this I had to abolish the idea a couple of times due to injury and mental health struggles. Also keep up the good work! 45min to 1h a lot of younger teens I bet can't uphold that level of concentration. Apply this to stuff in your life and focus on building a life that allows you to practice spirituality, that is more important than 45-1h sit, just sit 30 minutes and build on your life rather. If there is no other option even just 10 at times, if stuff get's hectic for whatever reason. Yet stay with the 1h! Take stuff slow, don't rush the process. The feeling like dying is 100% contractive energy and could be upheld anger and emotions if you focus on the sensation of dying... and yes that is a real emotion to an extend imo, it's painful bitterness etc, pain itself etc. Unconscious material, the evaporate yourself from this pain also frees you from unconscious habits. This is my take on all of this, there is also no real technique if you take a psychdelic this will unravel, these states of consciouness are very different and I also had retreats (formal ones without psychdelics online) where I had similar states, and the better my life circumstances the more it feels like a mild psychdelic. Do it with 21 build on your life trust me you don't want this and you are building a lot of stability also mental health. Slow down if things go to fast, and seek and give support 100%. Especially as I am also anger prone bro, exercise! Do shadow work and continue it's normal you 100% want a breakthrough experience, stuff happens at the most random and predictable times. When I had the kriya experience where I felt a knot near my heart space everything lifted I cried endlessly and I could not control movement of breath everything was cleansed like a warm softly wet steam would clean my nervous system and vagus nerve. It was liberating, and it showed me how much karma I've built in that sense. Also thanks for sharing the sturggle in a sense it's very inspirational!

You 100% need breakthrough experiences more, and the best you can do is go to a retreat center for a couple of weeks & months as well as combine it with psychdelics. Check out transcendene asn an audiobook. See, Hear, Feel is also there to prepare you for all possible meditation techniques and retreats out there. See what resonates for me top results I got is with just with peak experiences: Psychdelics + Self-Inquiry & Do-Nothing(Do-Nothing no technique possible as consciouness state is to high) Retreats Zen See, Hear, Feel with expansion & contraction paradigm -> best practical life changes & karma digestiong imo Self-inquiry (interchangeable with see,hear,feel & zen retreats) / Visualization Kriya-Yoga (very difficult to practice) Breath counting Overall, there will be not breakthrough without doing retreats. It's not about meditation sessions it's about depth of experience and that is mostly possible with 3-10 day retreats. A 3 month retreat can save 10 years of practice if you do the retreat for 3 months for stream entry. Just doing things strategically is exhausting as hell. Get a minimum of 14 days of retreats in focus also a bit more on the concentration side of things and what resonates generally. I daily get different tastes at least of states and higher emotions, my emotional mastery definitely increased I was even more out of whack 8 years ago, and a lot of trauma got released thanks, also to shadow work type practices. I wish I could have gone a bit slower. I am meditating now close to 8 years with 1h - 45 min practice and numerous 2 days (20-30) weekend retreats from Shinzen etc. It's not worth it if you can't sustain the following imo. (As well as 1 zen retreat) Daily practice 1h minimun to be more "hardcore" 14 days retreats per year at best one stretch (minimum) Psychdelics if you can handle them speeds things up tremendously Be stable in life Have a shadow work & trauma type practice Read scriptures about the path and inspire yourself. Weight lifting man! It stacks up tremendously, yet you have to take retreats my man! Otherwise shit will not change fundamentally, 1h practice accumulates a lot also, I change everyday bit by bit even in the worst of times. Definitely do retreats, and be financially save to do them, so you don't become a broke corrupted spiritual servitor, if you are confident in your abillity apply for voluntariy at retreat centers, if you want to save money for bigger things and also exhaust karma man. Go out and fuck girls, trust nobody and give away your authority no matter how painful it is if you don't feel an intutive pull and even then you'll get emotionally damaged. Don't trust every cannabis users reports, people who are unstable in life and never interconnected scriptures. Be friend and see what resonates, as well as build a life that can accomdate spiritual practice and retreats and people who resonate with that. The point is it has become such a marketing fad, to make it non religious and secular based on science, that most forget what it's truely about. 1h meditation session does nothing, if you attend a retreat and you comeback and you do a 1h sit you notice wow, I never meditated before properly. There are many other things. Yet this is a raw structure, of what would give more peak experiences. Especially how hectic these days are and the new research on psychdelics I can only recommend that if you are stable and 21 y.o and have managed finances etc. are setup in life. I am not the best example, yet this is what it looks like, also if you are healthy weight lifting and yes... this is the best case scenario imo, besides doing visualization practices. Also learn from all teachers, it takes longer yet it's worth it that was the advice I was given, if I could I would concentrate more, yet I do better digesting sensory experiences. Check also in with experienced teachers and coaches once per year, hire a coach if you're serious and need a little structure & help as well as someone to talk to. You could find someone here also, yet I mostly don't have the best of experiences here.

Drinking a coffee then cleaning my room, I listened to the abundance audiobook, yet there are so many conditions internally that are wrong, and also the story that I'll read for 1h on the weekend. I first create the online structure. I don't feel to well, yet it's getting better... The injury and panic and catastrophy thinking and the sudden outbreak of it is not the best. I sometimes feel I would be at an end if I would not listen to trance music.... it feels so fantastic and alleviates so much pain everyday... I can't stomach reading at times it feels like I get a beating after a beating after a beating of what I am doing wrong, even from more soft spiritual people and often it's simply not enough food etc. I fundamentally do not enjoy that my level of transcending is capped at going slower, due to injury etc. The preventative work is also very exhausting and I just have so much stuff constantly changign due to digitalization, corona, ilness, death, to tell that our generation are pussies is one horendously attrocious and uncompassionate thing to say. Fundamentally I feel a lot better, when I work on the projects that I have, yet I am post-poning and guilt tripping myself subtely because of stuff I wish I could share more success, yet it's tricky and I notice a process orientation is also feminine energy, all to much I dunno how to deal with this spectrum at times. Awareness is auto-currative and doing something with common sense about these issues is the best possible way to tackle them, the issue is the subtle gossip and shaming that happens at times. Also how bad the education system frames minorities, because they focus on comprehending & understanding Leo did also the same and he was first more about interconnecting and creating, I find also more girls in relationships could have this perception that it's about interconnecting and creating I feel coerced and I am not the sole purpose of your relationship I feel when I trust my intuition. Generally intutive girls who seem to get along better with me as they interconnect more also with other things for relationship purposes, be it nature, cats dogs etc. Yoga practice friendships the new concert XYZ and stuff like this not only the guy. I also feel since I hang out with this scum and I officalled called myself partially scum as you all go for it also, legit all of you can't believe it this is human evolution. No matter how you frame etc. It's part of evolution. The point is I don't know how far simple confidence goes, and girls who are toxic did attack me and single-motherhood did me do no favour. I still struggle also with masculine energy in a sense. The point is I yearn both feminine energy for healing and masculine energy for growth, some just go overboard just healthy counting and a handshake do more well, than bitter barking at stuff and achievment things etc. I also don't enjoy the attitude of many eastern and russian people I feel depressed when I hear them talk russian and I notice the bias in their words, just by an emotional tone. It's tragic for such a beautiful country, I really yearn also to integrate more the female side of myself, as I get more joy out of creativity at times in masculine domains... as it gives me an edge in originality. This is fundamentally it, I will create this now in the summer space and keep promisess to myself. I could need help, yet I can't afford much and stuff is also overpriced at times etc. I am on a good way when I contact the career service and ask for feedback and just do what they say, yet at times this is exactly where I feel depressed when I feel robbed of autonomy. Cleaning appartement I am meeting up with a girl from Tinder tomorrow 7pm. I keep promises posting twice only even on Sunday. As to much journaling just causes me to paralyze. I fundamentally confused something which is very good imo!!! I will also not run the risk and purchase low quality products anymore that is an extremly bad habit I have from my family. Especially my mother beign ridiculous stupid and cheap.

29 minutes meditation, I do gotta say that the meditation and dating apps generally wake me up, as well as instagram for challenges etc. I don't know why. It might be because it's less toxic than many other human driven plattforms. I thought about how to improve and thought about making another promise to myself, as this seems to work as childish as it may seem. It's like I am giving myself and apprecaite my own masculine energy. I will post only twice a day max, and use this plattform fundamentally as a spiritual plattform for spiritual growth and the journey of it. So not a lot of other talking points as I don't seem to find the right bonds often. That is it. I will drink one coffee & clean my appartement and relish and enjoy this decision. I have a date and I will fully focus on making promises and stickign to schedules and doing stuff on my own. For example to be on time and also creating more fun, order and construction I noticed yesterday I have more joy creating a career than playing a video game, all of this energy is over and not fully present.... I hope that I can turn the girl if she fits the RGB spectrum into a girlfriend if not. It's fine I am all over also. That is it. Will clean my entire appartement and do mathematics what they recommend as well as continue with that and schedule the entire week finally again. I am also super horny and found tricks etc. The book on a womens anatomy is also good. As well as go grocery shopping today. This is the last promise I can make I found very good spaces, now it's about implementation & balance as well as going to the gym 4 times a week. Stuff that triggered me again prior to Leo is alpha male mentality and ego and genetic superiority concepts from blond, blue eyed and girlfriend acting like a hoe. No a cute garden hoe. She was not hot! Man's not hot also. Just Angeberei.

I dunno I hope things move towards love... etc. I can't control myself at times with all the status comparssion and stuff, I can't touch this trauma also and I sort of sense why my old psychologist went slow, as I would snap completely and end someone or something. I don't enjoy how on average prejudiced society is etc. I'D really would appreciate a heavy hitting episode, yet right now it's all practical I am fine just the classical issues beign more on time food & stuff. I might leave the forum, yet I get a lot of revenge feelings at times for Leo because of Schadenfreude I don't enjoy it I prefer legit appreciate a stage blue relationship to the guy the red stuff I might only be able to enjoy with black and asian people somehow but w/e.

Will not get to proper shadow work. I am tired and will sleep. I will not post much, yet I need a good friend there are so many issues I see because of this dating&pua stuff. It has no end.... I just don't enjoy the purple pill the most, that is the worst pill elitist type of games manipulation and games, I enjoy honest elitism... not non-integrous health flashing. I dunno it's annoying to deal with this and also the notions of others etc.... I just feel like I would benefit more from doing and not posting her even weekly the two posts I wrote costed me so much time... I don't get much enjoyment anymore from journaling as I feel I can't fully embrace who I am at times... There are not real secrets. That is the truth, it's mostly upgrading life style and get a better picture etc... These dudes in the telegram are so toxic, and it's barely worth it to stay they just help you to get laid, I am relatively immune to this talk as it shows me also to stay away from and how to engage truely with all people. The point is some of them legit are traumatized legit all besides me and the German dude... me more most likely... seem way more normal. Yet this is oddly crazy. I did not feel happy because of various things and also the normal more normie culture stuff, I am sleeping I miss somehow. I miss some higher consciouness stuff I am legit acclimatizing etc. Sleeping don't enjoy it at times. Leo's episodes all have tremendous value I dunno what else is happening I don't interact much with the guys there close to everyone there has prejudices and does not care to change it.

The point is somehow the signs in my life show me I should be filthy rich for no reason... besides that I am humble to some level and don't care as much ... etc. etc. etc. Listening to ABundance No review here I am out for the week till stunday...

Deepak Chopra has been helping me a lot recently. Ironically... he is the same type as Kollegah in the enneagram. Well almost....

The point is the be real and follow truth, I do manipulate for utter survial when I can't help it and I won't care I legit will not care, I've been in fked situations and I don't have the best opinion of humans themselves. I certainly would enjoy some power fantasies. For fun not to make it real just like an action move hero in my own life. Anyway I am gyming and posting an audiobook in my story.

This is also somehow such a hot topic riches, and incomes and property and all of this stuff. I feel I am not happy if I don't enjoy a high salary, and I don't know how much health I find with the injury... I'll listen to an audiobook today instead in the gym and post some stuff, as I was unable to read and share stuff on insta... it's tricky to be real and make an income with this that is highly profitable etc. Germany does not pay shit. I don't know at times NRW is super fake to some level. I hope I just find some higher income realness... that is not to gangster... and not to feminine and family friendly....

30 min shadow work I won't to coding the one video game was already a horrendous idea, it costed me to much time and nerves to play it. I called my mother for the meditation thingy, the point is even if the leader of this group is multicultural, these people are such armchair experts. I am glad that I am German to an extend, maybe this people are stupid and panic prone, yet they are at least somewhat more mentally non-toxic. I hope I get to shadow work otherwise I post-pone it to tomorrow I'll talk to a coach at best today and just get my workout in. etc. I need some music and clear headed space... I am a bit overburdened with what I still enjoy in life, when I do what I used to enjoy I don't get it, and at times it's loads of negativity to have a stage yellow & or turqouise girlfriend without any bias etc. Is extremely difficult. I just continue to build body and career, I dunno... I work in a smaller area and interconnect as much as I can possibly... They also can't seem to find someone for their team I could up my resume, with more projects simply and stop hesitating, the issue is it's legit about seconds and minuts that is why I am so pissed at times. Somehow this song is also getting to me. Eventually I have two dates... Although I am not as satisfied with most likely integrity and truth, yet I dunno I feel partially like I've sold my soul as I had no one to care about it properly I barely enjoy what I used to enjoy anime culture, video games, beign a nerd etc. I am unsure if I am seeling myself or that I am real, as these are partially karmas I am burning I've alwaysed loved women I might have put them on a pedestal to much, yet I also received tons of attention from women till today, I just don't sell myself well. My marketing prof said the same, I am not the best at presenting myself.... because of shadow etc. I am now here all in all vision is vine, yet I just sometimes struggle with stuff, at the end I am taking plenty of action, I am just scared of the level of complexity of some lectures so I can't waste to much. I also give myself not to manipulate, the point is I might loose myself. I just legit should create what I yearn to create, I wasted a lot of time, and I am giving my best not to manipulate and play with desire, the point is even the most average guy manipulates more than me etc. I find it tricky. The irony I had today... was I need to be more a lot more masculine to get into feminity. I had such high expectations.

30 min shadow work I hope I can get to 1h reading after this and then gym.... I am pretty late as well as I did not plan the week and I have to print some stuff. Overall the insta connections do make it seem better. The telegram group is stupid at times and ironically it's mostly eastern people who bring up race talk and "right-wingish" type symbolists things, I don't enjoy it to much. It's not really my humour I do get help, yet it's a bit annoying. Some stuff is a bitter relative truth I've also made, yet I make sure to not get sucked into these groups. It's also mainly white russian types.... and people with some serious developmental trauma, smokers & cannabis users. As well as all of them combined. The main issue is stage blue 100%. It's the most annoying stage as it only value work, and nothing but work and money at times. I can't call my mother... I really want to move the conervativsm of many foreigners here and how it all accumlates here is bothering DD, where I went yesterday is better. It's fundamentally fine, yet it's not the best development at times although I am learning. --- Now I should not waste a second... I might have underestimated how much time I truely have. I find it tricky to enjoy what I used to enjoy.... I am in an odd space.

The shadow work today is also missing, for the weekend this is immensely important. The new zelda games also seem wild, yet I am no where near getting that level of play in simply because of finance and I seriously would need to leave to this U.S... was also another reason I do enjoy gaming culture, I just never felt I could embrace it fully. Playing one video game, then shadow work then gym, then super-vision. I hope I can create a new vision board in the summer time. To go with a plan for 20 years, I was WAY WAY to short sighted I should have created a plan for multiple lifetimes... legit I dunno how else to say, not making billions, yet create a 20 year is Alrighty will do 30 minutes to 30 minutes. Hopefully and do proper shadow work and talk to the coach at the gym. We are multi-leveling! Multi-Visioning!!!!! Damn Son where did you find this , I hope this will all work. No idea how I can close to 40 get girls and enjoy playing video games that is such a cheat. I am jelly!

It's fine, yet it might have some level of reading depth it's get's pretty boring in terms of mastery, I just enjoyed it a lot thanks to visuals and I can get sucked into hype trains, it's fun for semi-hardcore gamers I feel, it's fun hacking stuff and just killing stuff and hacking. Storywise the best scence was when the main character fked the girl inside the tank, yet I was also on LSD I believe... so I might have internalized the experience, yet I loved the merging aspect of it. As a more "consciouness related sci-fi themed thing". Would not buy if above 30€ and the setup is not able to perform higher graphics...

I find the newer ones so interesting, when I briefly watch them, as I only watched the ocarina of time and played windwaker on the game cube, where people already complained for me the games was so innocent during that time, I could not play it as it scared me legit I got scared watching goblins chase me etc, and the complexity was out of the game apparently, yet I enjoyed the graphics and the looks. For me this game was magical during the time, yet I could never play it properly. Skyrim and Fable 3 during that time were the most magical games I played I love open-world games. I hope Baldurs Gate 3 will be good I enjoyed the baldurs gate on the first Xbox a lot, I love stuff that moves into mastery like this with physical skills and weapons, generally gear.

I feel the interconnectivity might finally happen, also stuff get's cleaned. That is good it seems like the organizer of the group takes a liking into me, and Leo warned me from the mystery method, and the german guy also just likes the more "normal crazy" purple stuff that could help understanding the east more and let's say evaluate properly. Not neccesarily understand. I finally also established structure I am at times toxic, as I never felt so fking physical weak, as this issue is at the same side as my scar, usually I just ignored, yet I can absolutely snap like a snapping (snapper) turle, I am usually pretty chill and meditate and digest, ideally I can start stretching etc... I don't think the Yoga is fittable currently I did one exercise, it's not possible. The strechting though is possible. I am still secretly a Leo agent, I dunno also the gentleman stuff is just a cuckhold currently feeling wise, in a more blue "liberal" language if I am not wild and free, you miss out 100%.

What I fundamentally wanted to briefly write about is dating & how I have new motivation for it as I deeply yearn to integrate deadlifts and I see how "subtely offensive" non-blacks act at times, that is one of the most serious observations I have made as well as how seriously needed good moderation is of these channels. I really have a huge motivation for this and I just plan for this accordingly to put the motivation into proper use. I also don't care as much, especially I find it tricky to open my heart to the possibility of creating a family and this stage blue regression, that I don't fully enjoy because of how deprived these relationships seem. I also don't feel I find a girl on my attraction level physically, I do look better, otherwise these girls would not even go for me and I would get 0 matches, the point is I am very unsatisfied when a girl is not attractive to me and this will also hurt her long-term, so I do have to see. That was one important thing to mention for me, I also notice how hard my trailblaizing needs to be, uping my style and digital print & artwork and interest, maybe I am also just a replica, I can't otherwise explain why I do have a pull towards more creator type personalities. Yeah this is also it fundamentally. I seriously have to build my body and create new picturs otherwise I will be so unsatisfied even with good matches, I don't find the women I am very fking attracted to, like the one I just saw. I do enjoy raw sexual pleasure.

I lift the promise for weekends, on Sunday mostly. Not Saturday!!!

1 min till team meeting did a 45min session approx, I can't do more at times, I need a higher income for deeper sessions and a camera my vision is 90% complete basically from the life purpose course I don't really have the time to create a new vision board, as well as give a deep reflection. I digested 50-70% of the imprinits from yesterday.

I am on the phone, so I won't type smth. super deep I check some stuff, I just have different channels for learning and it shows me two sides of hypergamy if it gets to crazy I am out. Especially to right-wing. I also feel this zen meditation makes me more immune to stereotype threatening, especially from cultures who elicit these types of sympathetic responses. I am still glad I meet my new conservative friend, it's odd how many care about hygiene and harmony. I ate way to much sugar I'll look into some lifting stuff and visited Germany's only German owned NFT Gallery. It was interesting. Germans tech is still far behind u.s.a very far. Musk I feel like owns this planet...more psychologically speaking... Also these dumb human panic birds are so fling disgustingly stupid. They just can't stay calm. One girl pushed me back as I was unsure if they wanted to enter the tube, it was some low-brow types who think they are important. I somehow loose at times the dignity and respect. I did not even do it out of greed, after this as she had such a wanna be boss pussy and acted like a psychopathic narcissist some other girl or man pushed her. And they all acted as if their pushing etc. Etc. I got internally pretty angry that they owned so much space and acted like they are the most important creatures and the way they talked revealed everything to me. The chick was annoying as she was contradicting herself without noticing and I did not enjoy her attitude. She could at least give a reason a bet there is a word for this matyr? She seemed like a matyrer choleric 4w3 might be off. Went to Japantag realized I've been there once already. I have to move countries soon... I just crave nature.... Maybe I am more animal than I thought I did not like how humans are so dumb in masses omfg. They can't take it slow I wonder what goes through the head of a cluster of 10 individuals in such crowded area, why they even panic and Push. I was a vulcano I was so glad someone expressed their anger also in terms of order. Gosh anyway I am sleeping...