ValiantSalvatore

What I partially learned from multiple professors who studied arts is trial and error is neccessary and quantity practice beats "quality" in that sense, we're not all geniuses who instantly produce results beyond imagination. There are some studies mentioned often in self-improvement audibooks, that highlight this. Good art work takes thousand of iterations and computing power... see a.i art.... etc. I would not underestimate quantity, and not over value strength and quality, I find it's also a sign of insecurity at times. Beign effective and highly efficient is the ideal. This might be a different perspective, as I notice how much quantity practice I need for quality results. Re-creating results is for sure good, yet I see this is a bit of bias on the forum, and I doubt many had art professors as influences here in their lives etc. I find only focusing on quality and effectivness is like focusing on that one girl instead of going after multiple girls, if you look for an efficient/effective way you certainly look to simplfy things and improve results. I would not understimate the power of trial&error to get evidence of what works for you.

I'd say if you're wondering if this is a shit test, there is something creepy about you. Merely saying hi not even sorry and or excuse me etc. Is odd in most countries. I never had this happen they often offered me drinks when I did not drink, do you introduce yourself or just stand there and say hi? Even just admitting I was nervous gave me a better response and numbers. I am not a pro, and I barely did any game, yet it seems socially very uncalibrated. If you'd be internally more tempered, there is no way this can happen and you most likely over force the situation. Best game guys I have seen are very smooth, and nothing happens like this besides they see you as a creep maybe for doing this, which can be normal as barely anyone does this.

American hustle culture and heavy stage orange. Otherwise some stuff is simply not possible also most likely, and some people love to ruin their health. Some can also just do it. I gave my best doing something to this, as it just rung true, and I feel people judge me still for that amount of work ethic subtely and also subtely not, in Germany etc. I don't like this country for the "subtle gaslighting anger impulses" I feel, so I can't speak for the U.S etc. Also genetics if worst comes to worst and competition and survival some... just yearn to do this. If you work a lot and enjoy it for example I am an enneagram 4, and I am happiest when I am working is part of the enneagram type. You can certainly do what is feasible, I can't really work 40-60h at times and work even less average time is 37h in Germany, although in tech it's sort of impossible and you work less and more at times etc. From what I heard etc. For me this is mostly uni and projects, even when I worked I did always do 1h more at home etc smth I enjoy working on. I would be happiest beign able to meditate 2-3h a day work in a.i and do psychdelics and have a girlfriend for example and downtone work time at times for other projects and hobbies, such as retreats, getting into photography is a dream of mine, and simply for further education like taking a sabbatical etc. 80-100h is not really viable 45h-60h is a good benchmark if you are interested to work more and harder and smarter. Hence more efficiency and scaling productivity. Some work is also more creative in nature it's a balancing act, I work for example harder in the winter and summer than in spring and autumn. Most people I meet in university work more than 50h+ I'd say per week and are very happy. Find what works for you. It's a process that you figure out, you also see your needs, even when I work a lot I tend to play bouts of chess to get over boredom etc. Hence procrastinate I also had the notion of deep breaks wrong, and calnew port for example reads a baseball magazine and I was still focusing on productivity reducing sleep to 6h30 etc. I would not do it lol, my health seriously deteriorated and I just had more injury, the more skill I have the more I feel creative bouts and re-orientations helps me. I would definitely strike a balance and not work 80-100h, yet if you're young I would say shoot as high as 55-70h per week. I would even still do it, if I would not be injured as I learned how to balance this, yet it does not mean you become succesful automatically, there are so many different ways, I'd say networking is highly underrated and marketing content etc. Leo also has a good episode on this for entrepreneurs. Change things up, also I also get ideas from just typing this. I just also received my first workstudents job interview simply from networking. Inside a big tech company, that seems very healthy. Do what you love mostly and you can make a living/career/life purpose out of it, if this is strategical and practical for you see that you do it from inside out mostly. If work feels like play you know you're not getting burnt.

If you truely love your lifestyle and way of living the hours don't matter as much I gave my best to test how far I could go, and I will most likely still test beign very ambitious at times and taking a chill pill. What I find feasible still is 50-60h if you enjoy the lifestyle and like working a lot and take some time off 80h-100h even when I schedule it, I don't enjoy it. If I would not be injured I would go for 50-70h between when I am very ambitious I presonally regret not working more when I was younger, so I have a better foundation. 80-100 is way to much doing 2-3h more during the week and a 4h project on saturday and sunday leaves plenty of time for other stuff friends and activities, especially around the 50-60h mark, if you plan efficiently and don't have much travel time etc. Depending on what you do etc. I would certainly nudge it and not brute force it, working 5h more per week then moving to smth. more, yet balance is very important and everyone is unique. With relationships it's more tricky I find personally, so I have to see here also I enjoy working on my vision the most... so I dunno etc. 80-100 is out of desperation mostly I'd say. 45h-60h is okay, everything beyond 60 is rough and I am including weekends already, as I enjoy working a little bit on stuff on the weekends, even just PD and reading. I most likely work even less, I just don't notice it due to distractions etc. and beign a social introvert I usually work 47h per week when I track and recall corretly. Balance stuff out it's all an ideal, see what you're capeable of and take care of your health etc. Dedicated and focused work is better, yet I would not underestimate quantity, and seeing how some stuff is more a numbers game, even work and skill acquistion. Also take breaks between working session and rejuvenate.

I get what you mean without getting into bouts of conscious conversations (I did some training and I generally would say I am very good at it, especially reflective listening gives me a lot of power in group dynamics, I'd say conscious power even), I mostly have ideas on what I intuit could aid you, and serve you. Make a list of what interests you in small talk and what you can talk about, with random people, especially as you actively train it. For example I had the idea to talk about dogs simply and the weather what is your dogs name, I like your dog he seems to be fun and full of energy, I like your dog he seems kind of goofy and love worthy etc. Something like this. Even the weather to get over the hurdle of beign "to deep", there is also a "fake to deep", get over that man! My aunt has 20 dogs, so I know dog owners and even online dog owners love to talk about their dogs, you'd instantly get a more passionate response, and I bet you have more insight than me Find videos how others approach strangers and look what inspires you, is it their flair? Is it the depth of connection they can build fast? Is it that they are confident and fully healthily masculine? Find each day one small thing that interests you about strangers, you could stop thinking about others as strangers and immediately see them as friends, compaions, potential dating material, fun girl, fun guy etc. You can give them a different identity than stranger in that sense or npc. Make a list of a couple of non-conditioned way people speak to each other, for example I could run the cube game even! with guys, ask about their deep passions etc. Even just be simply very direct and invite for instant coffee and ice cream etc. To get out of the socially conditioning anti-holonic dynamics, if you catch my drift... I emotionally can resonate how it feels to notice power dynamics in relationships with others etc. Make a list of what is not souless and speak with others about this, test if you don't even like some souless stuff? The energy of the other could be full of soul, while you find the topic soulless. To give a brief example I talk to shop owners and small talk as I somehow gained experience a bit with this, and see this as good testing ground to start small, I asked the kebab shop owner what is favorite soccer team is, the guy also always greets me with my name and ask me how I am doing with girls and in life etc. Gives me tips where I could go and feedback if stuff X is good for drinks etc. His eyes sparkled when I asked him the question about soccer, as he had so much "bad" small talk the whole day, and I noticed. Enjoy the beauty in small things man! Humans are beautiful, I don't find it easy also so I look for the "real" mostly, sometimes the most fake people are realer than you think. I would simply be open to this possibility, there is a lot of fake deep and fake woke. Just enjoying human baseline stuff, and basics can be enjoyable. This is where depth is built imo, sometimes for me it's to much. Even though I consider myself deep, with undergoing 30+ trips I notice then, especially I am responsible for building that depth, even in small talks etc. Hope this is useful and a good perspective to ponder about!

Meditation 50 min What did I notice what were given themes? Systemic habit thinking and integation of new values (not finished, yet with the exercises) Focusing on beign more loving and strong and masculine (passion/enthusiasm) Getting stress as much as possible out of my system Depth and why I at times prefer superficial stuff The happiness list etc. pain, depth and fullfilment My injury Idenity based archetypal meditation I am doing this atomic habits enormously helped me to come back to my practical nature, and I see why I am doing this switch again long-term I change techniques a lot I know, due to life circumstances etc. This I feel will at minimum be a 3 months endeavour, so I integrate more of what I read 1-2 years ago about success and practicality and embody it inside and outside. I am a strong c.s nerd and geeky guy who is good with girls & women I am an early riser I am an loving an strong athlete & lifter who loves health I am going super super positive I love the summer and I spot so many activites that I yearn to do, yet injury prevents this partially. I still could surf, swimm, dive etc. All of this so health and consciouness and computer science will be nr.1. Prio I love myself! Yes!! Gratitude Journal I am grateful for feeling the postivie affects of my workout more life energy and healthy drive to be more loving towards myself and love myself I am grateful for the beautiful sun saying hello today and for compliments from girls that go into the hello sunshine direction it really opens my heart, when I am loved like the sun I am grateful for solving mathematical problems with patience and reason fully knowing solving takes time I am grateful for the new envigorating energy to solve problems and be more healthily masculine to move from domination to assertion and confidence I am grateful for nature the beautiful garden infront of me and that I am out of my hometown I am grateful to applying to a.i and software development job opportunities and to see virtue in myself based on character, character depth based on a strong meditation habit I am grateful to see progress and efficiency as connection to others and feel love! Thank you today!!

I did not do much pick up, you can definitely steer the conversation into the direction that you enjoy, I would definitely take care of listening to others as a social skill like martial arts for example even just reflective listening and curiosity, especially a fundamental is curisoity and thinking like the girl. I got recommended a book called chartise hearteau which is good for breaking the barrier into pick-up, yet I find it challenging to deal with the vulnerabillity at times and some stuff is better not practiced. (online & offline) You can also give your best shot at phyiscal openers and dancing, that might also work as it's also a form of social skill imo and communication. I had some conversations, yet I am not particularly good at this yet and had a wing who helped me. For example he had a text message showing me ask her if she prefers cats and or dogs. (I would never ask such a simple question, I did not even like her, yet he thought I would like her and I just learned, still it worked I did not pull neither was their logistics to pull, I would have needed to stay with the group and risk her dumping me etc.) What I also learned is favorites of wine, to see what type of girl she is usually, red wine = fancy, loves quality, more serious, sensual and white wine = fun, more chill etc. You can look this up on the internet. I would just see it as fun, if you don't enjoy it look for tiny distinctions where you can enjoy interactions it all sounds to serious, how about beign playful? You could ask them funny stuff and get curious about getting to know others at least. Although at night time stuff can happen at "bullet time", mostly I am not at this level and apparently I am kicked out of a group, that gives feedback and it's still toxic, and has value. What I don't like is they run evolution type of game with the mystery method the frame is disgusting imo (besides a few naturals with game). I don't know if it's worth it to read about it Leo also mentioned this in his video, yet somehow said something against it on a thread I wrote. So I don't know what to think about it, I personally feel this is the absolute last resort sort of. Check out some cool infield, and if not use a VPN and download some infield, I can send you a course also, I don't know if this is against the rules, yet it's only about beign social and having value, the course is kind of cheap with it's meditations, I did 25% of it approx, yet you can get a sense of what socialization is about. I still wish I would speak 3-4 languages and flirt with girls and be playful and enjoy human activity more, you also move more into the feminine I find ironically. Although I don't know how much masculine and feminine energy matters in game, as I did it only a hand full of times and also only night game. The course is not about any infield just about beign social and high vibe. Beign chill and social is great, what you seem to have going for you is indifference which is a key confidence trait imo, you can easily find interesting questions and look for body language and train that, that is the most effective I presume. Strong sexy eye contact, a bit of interesting convo and giving her insight into personality (I did a game called cube game during dates, they all loved it and it gave me plenty of insights and they were allowed to play it back, although it's quiet memory intensive, so I did this online), especially as you seem to get bored at convo. Start a convo with your body if you're into all of these things, I bet you can be quiet the looker and get something started physically. Also the course is about what value do you provide socially I made a list for example, that was great so I don't feel like an idiot who has nothing to contribute socially for example. Yes, pick-up has a lot of sleezy guys I legit appreciate owen cook a lot for doing this for just having fun and getting better socially. The point is some of the getting social guys feel even worse, so I dunno and society just installs hypergamy I feel at times. Not flirt and fun and beign authentically you. So I know how fake it can feel, yet I also had a burning desire with 16-20 to become very good socially. So I gave my best to be "superficial" and I even enjoyed the light heartedness of beign non-serious, even though I am very serious usually. You can certainly run your own analysis and create fun on your own, even train like Ralston and create states from scratch that'd be next level type game . (Without Leo DMT Alien (leaving funny stuff out))

Post Gym What happend what do I want to write about? a) Atomic Habits b) Personality test There are other thoughts, yet I found this on the atomic habits website and did the short version of it. http://www.personal.psu.edu/~j5j/IPIP/ipipneo120.htm This is somehow the test where the big 5 is based upon? ChatGpt comparison The IPIP-NEO (International Personality Item Pool-NEO) test is actually a specific version of the Big Five personality traits assessment. The Big Five, also known as the Five-Factor Model (FFM), is a widely accepted framework for understanding personality based on five broad dimensions. These dimensions are: Openness to experience: Reflects a person's preference for novelty, creativity, and intellectual curiosity. Conscientiousness: Relates to an individual's level of organization, responsibility, and dependability. Extraversion: Refers to the degree to which a person is outgoing, assertive, and socially energetic. Agreeableness: Describes a person's tendency to be compassionate, cooperative, and considerate of others. Neuroticism (sometimes referred to as Emotional Stability): Represents the extent to which someone experiences negative emotions like anxiety, depression, and emotional instability. The IPIP-NEO test is a specific measurement instrument that assesses an individual's personality traits within the framework of the Big Five. It consists of a set of questions or items designed to capture variations in each of the five dimensions. The IPIP-NEO is based on the International Personality Item Pool, which is a collection of personality items that researchers can use to create personality tests. In summary, the Big Five is a general framework that describes personality in terms of five broad dimensions, while the IPIP-NEO is a specific test that measures these dimensions using a set of standardized items. ---- a) Otherwise, I don't enjoy how I neglect stage orange/green and maybe yellow type of development, I thought in the car, "oh there are so many factors contributing to SD, I read the book two-three times with notes and other spiral dynamic books, and audiobooks a couple of times. I certainly could hear it again I notice now, it helped me a lot to deal with the cyclical nature and challenges of stages in life. I'll give my best to get more personality theory insights, the enneagram is a bit to deep and I get triggerd 99.9% of the time. Because of how obvious it makes stuff. b) I took the short version and scored 94 in openess, 66 in extroversion to my surprise even though I am Infj and 56 in conscientiouness at the beginning where JP was still liberal I took his test, and I scored a whopping 2nd percentile. Anyway this is for another day.

Meditation (Visualization) 59 minute meditation, I love the current weather to go on a tangent. Themes during this meditation. Atomic habits audiobook 4 key changes as to how change occures on a systemic plan and to not do things based on habits Way of superior men audiobook How important it is to keep your word as a man, and that the girl in the did simply not appreciate that, also the point about money I would yearn to find a girlfriend who does not love me for hypergamy Distinctions Higher efficiency A.I The love and the difficulty of it Open & Closed eyes Distraction or practice? I do both even in distraction Fear & Panic Identity & Meditation Early riser identity and overcoming obstacles visualizations Systems instead of habits Notion as a system for habits does not work, I use the white board as well as even a habit book for clarities sake Enviromental Design Creating an enviroment that make habits more conducive Heart based meditations Feels great Change and visualization Adaptive techniques work doubt about effectivness, and posture I could briefly test a new way to create clarity, this would be it for now. I had some other doubts & fears and instantly created hatred internally for Germany and the type of 6'ish thinking that is not processed consciously and how much chaos and panic fear causes as well as gaslighting and the subtle anger and how true the enneagram book is for an entire collective, and how this still dovetails with the attitude of hitler, and how they subtely spread anger and shame each other at times for this. As 6 moves to 9 in integration meaning there is more peace and quiet, yet they don't realize this is a peak not a stability. They do I might have to high expectations and I also have a lot of anger in me due to German family and cynnical nature of denial and agnostics. Who take safety in the fear of doubt and their reality. While beign to close-minded and I might be to over-eager to convince at times. Otherwise I focus on tiny systemic changes and look for the smallest possible leverage point, without to much effort, so I can focus the real effort into other things. As well as integrate more healthy masculine and stay of weird channel like the attraction channel that guy feels so fake, there are billions of coaches the point is he fundamentally runs on two different stage types, red and orange creator and status and I don't resonate with this type , this guy makes stuff toxic that is not and claims all the power, utterly disgusting I don't like it. First change ditch the cheap water filter as it does not filter key stuff from the last time I researched and hence I have more efficiency without sacrificing health, only taste. Rule Update: If I forget the gratitude journal I am allowed to post it here no matter time etc. Gratitude Journal I am grateful for seeing the beautiful sun out today I am grateful I am getting rid mostly of the negativity of doubt and fear I am grateful that I can visualize better day by day I am grateful to feel less hatred against certain stuff and more self-love I am grateful to feel less influenced by power and power games I am grateful to create the life that I dreamed of and the skill I am grateful that I am human and I hope I can realize some stuff deeper than guys like Ralph Smart I don't enjoy the to strong human stance, I would love all beigns, politics is different I am grateful for having new friendships I am grateful that I am allowed to do what I am allowed to do in terms of studies

Yeah, I hope they also focus on this without consistently focusing on dysfunctions, so regular people can use psychdelics as well as assited tools to alter the experience of consciouness and peaks. I bet this works well, as well as not and can be costly, when I use a vr-headset and I have a phobia of wasps, I would not know if I would not know if this fixes the problem I know even why, I dunno I bet it can work I got over the fear of bees, by simply beign open. I dunno I call wasps the a**holes of nature very aggressive for no reason. I wonder if this would fix it I would be open to give it a go. I hope there will be a few super applications that allow for growing consciouness etc. Doing a retreat like this could already be worth it and simple stuff. No idea how far out in the future brain-technology and ar could go. https://hameroff.arizona.edu/research-overview/transcranial-ultrasound Psychdelics might just be also the most powerful tool given for free mostly. (by nature etc.)

That is the first design that is human, it is scary how far humanity is constructed by ideas in a sense when I see this I feel like assasin creed and someone encoded all of this into our reality. I like the device I never was interested in an apple product, besides for developing this looks interesting. It certainly looks interesting for work and design, and not gaming. I never saw apple as a gaming plattform, I hope nvidia or so does something cool. 3.5k is not even much for american tech salary , I don't know if it's everwhere so high, yet it's still a lot of money for a pair of googles . Also AR types of featured meditations. Curious if this technology will at one point be developed, for direct enlightenment experiences.

I love that the whole integral crew casts him I don't know this channel also, thanks for the share!

True, I don't like the amount of subtle snipping and gaslighting that happens here, and it certainly affected me, I never saw the forum so clean also. This is another channel I enjoyed, and who loves Wilber. I started to enjoy Aubery Marcus a lot, as he resonates also a bit more with my wild side. I love it when people share their success and progress even failures with higher and lower/earlier/later stuff. I loved this about integral, I would cherish it a lot on how to be more successful at a work enviroment with higher stage charateristics. ---- I love the take of Kelly Brogan. I don't know anymore channels that strike me turquoise/yellow A bit more advanced is this: https://www.youtube.com/@GuruViking/videos https://www.youtube.com/@ShinzenVideos/videos https://www.youtube.com/@PeterRalston (He has a new video even) This most likely is a super good take on A.I, yet I barely get to read any of this. https://integrallife.com/ontological-shock-the-accelerating-emergence-of-artificial-intelligence/# Schmachtenberger is certainly interesting I never looked at him, till I started working with A.I now. Full discloser I don't watch all videos I post. I currently focus mostly on integration and some form of good entertainment of this stuff.

I love this point somehow for engaging with the more animalistic side of human kind, I had a couple of these insight raw on LSD, I also get goosebumps everytime considering this in a movie and or video game and I feel oddly that this would be great honor... I saw a injured crow last week, I thought about calling my aunt as she knows how to take care. Things that are for me full spiral are Huberman and Lex Fridman podcasts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICj8p5jPd3Y I loved this one, I really hope that the psychdelic renaissance happens a bit faster. I hope stage green finally grows up. Pun intended.

Meditation 55 minute session What did I experience any themes? Time as a theme and the contractive stress of it Anxiety as a theme and coffee Creatine and coffee intake Research Memory, fantasy and planning Clarity LP Bias of corruption during presentation yesterday and how I am to honest Question if I am addicted to masturbation, as it seriously helps me to get out of bed I wonder if it is the dopamine release as well as latent horniness, I wondered for this first time if I am addicted. As I did no-fap etc. Sex drive high? Operation and how I am seemingly over it Synchronicities The energy level map for emotional mastery addition Difficulties today visualizing, I ironically visualizer better when I don't masturbate and just after I masturbated etc. Carrer options and moving countries Master's degree worries Positive outlooks even if worse-case scenario Sending Leo love during meditations, it's difficult to show gratitude to people where I feel their cynicism at times blocked my growth, yet overall I see the bigger picture and forgive and send love Today is a day, where I clearly notice that creating clarity is of importance and tomorrow is a holiday in Germany, so I am taking the full day to create the order and values, I also talk to the career advisor, and so I have directly both the internal and external groundedness. I did the exercises from the course about values and I clearly see, how difficult it is to life my life purpose. I might take strength and friendships as core values next year, as they are such a fundamental pillar. I do have some stuff to do today, and ideally I get to do mathematics, and I have an enormous amount of joy. What bothers me is power dynamics and how they play themselves out and how the fear contraction forced me into the expert bias and status perception at times. Otherwise I do simply have to say, I am grateful I have this opportunity, and I can slowly still move myself into a direction, especially with a work students thingy, I just hope everything works out, hypersensetivity is not easy at times. Anything else? Gratitude Journal I am grateful to experience less stress and not drink coffee I am grateful that I am consistent with my workouts and hit personal bets without causing injury I am grateful for the German healthcare system and German systems themselves mostly I am grateful that I am not associated with cynnical Schadenfreude types of status cravers because they heavily manipulate for power for the tiniest imperfection I am grateful for humans who have compassion and can exercise it properly I am grateful that I don't contribute anymore to the bitterness of humanity I am grateful that I have clarity as value This post is over 15 minutes, goal is to keep this under 10-15 minutes, and be efficienty and productive, and to not overanalyse and take more action on the analysis and evaluations that occured.

@CARDOZZO Levels of Energy is interesting I never saw this I look into it I started to appreciate David R Hawkins perspective when it comes to emotional mastery. Thank you also for sharing!

Value assesment I will update my value list today, as I have time and fully engage in the practice of the course as I seem resonable as I did them all once, and ideally do the applications also, so I can fully head into creating the external structure based on internal values and also set new goals for this year. They somehow change faster, and I print out the new sheet, and create the clarity, especially today and on saturday, also it does not give me as much as a negative internal ring of order, so I take some stress out, I'll definitely yearn to think a little deeper about these values, and to integrate them fully I also updated my note-taking again, after testing some stuff for pure development, and also my strategy for gaining knowledge to evaluate more and not to analyse more and to focus on design and creation is the hardest part still. I certainly can see stages at times so high the lower healthier stages don't have an affect, just to much negative forces, I'd like to craft a new part of myself that is steeped in these values more deeply, so I can build the career skill that I enjoy having, and finally fix dating and stay clear of Andrew Tate types, and enjoy more normal healthy drives and also ideally get a psychological coach who can work with me on the higher stages for dating. Especially inside the U.S. For now I'll do the value assesment. Many use this projection also to escape their own dark masculine traits, I might also go full woo-woo as this is how I started and I enjoy deep purple, I also had Leo as on of my role models, so I follow his post closely... and my masculine drive for competition, so seeing him saying survival of the fittest, which includes way more is great, and to see it coded into A.I possibly at least the algorithms, is interestingly beautiful then. I do trust the guy on a lot of things even when he goes on a verbal rampage as I did this also, and I know why also. This is mostly it, I'd love to make this announcement, and I see clearly why so many green Germans still love and tolerate me, as I am not like many. Dating at orange/green has become tricky, as Green only values intelligence as trait online mostly, and it has become a challenge to create chizzled not to "perfect" seeming online profile. Shaming is by far the worst stuff and using neurotic language is one hallmark of a insecure dark masculinity, I certainly hope there is someone who can express dark masculinity at more healthy as a lot of girls are attracted to it. Traits like domination for example. I just wonder how far consciouness can help, as it weeds out many girls and my attraction I notice due to beign a 4 in the enneagram can feel quiet toxic, and many don't get this especially stages below green, who are "you think you know me types", are the worst I hope this re-assessment will bring the change internally and I can externalize it then more readily deeply. (I presume above 15 minutes, I responeded to other posts). Last contemplation post of the week. Gym,Meditation is allowed. Progress is part of my values, if I split them up individually to much, it's a to tiny chunk to work with. I don't know if I focus on beign the intellectual power house I yearned to be, I don't find respect here. So I stopped reading mostly, and focus on integration, as blue/orange still dominates the culture. etc. etc. This is 100% enough for the week.

@lizz_luna https://integrallife.com/mastery-collaboration-and-finding-your-unique-healing-style/ One of the few websites where I can find material for practical integration of higher stages, although the perceptions of lower stages make it tricky. Yet I know with whom and who to work with mostly. Leo is also just pure gold.

Where is your ressource to claim this?

True, especially going beyond what is perceptable by society and mostly is only found it culture and arts, unfortunately. Shared mastery is super important it is really missing here, especially sharing healthy progress is super self-motivating, instead of cheap research and lack of quality posts. I enjoy shared orange mastery a lot for example and I find myself ever again at isolation ever since I fully hit yellow a couple of years ago and then starting to integrate the lower stages. I certainly wish I can find more communal mastery places, to share and not only be a head full with ideas and get valueable feedback. This is certainly interesting., hope this is valueable to you, I love maps still and finding ways to improve my understanding and knowledge for self-actualization.

This is my first post of the week that I am allowed to do randomly to contemplate briefly some stuff. I am aware of how tricky the perceptive field of many is I stopped reading and inspiring people even though I inspired some due to me beign ignorant on some fronts, especially the passion about the dangers of a.i and not following Schmachtenberger, as I saw him coming out and he felt so fake at the beginning, yet I appreciated him more like the dub-techno music. Coming from beign manly a Wilberian. I had a brief insight due to positive computing on the emotion of pride beign self-love as I denied a lot of these feelings, yet even in the Enneagram pride and love are intertwined. I am just more affirmed that my current path will get me the results I worked for years, and I don't mind it associating myself with lower and higher stages, earlier stages of development etc. I give my best to speak to all and I know life tests me more because of this, especialyl psychological strength and masculine strength, what I certainly miss is deep friendships that gave me so much internal strength as I enjoyed a lot of selfless living. I find it also very difficult due to group dynamics a lot of people over-evaluate themselves while I did all the work and the results don't speak the same to many due to a lot of expert bias. The amount of projections I endure from orange/green is heavily discriminating, and when I read what I read here, I know I am partially to advanced to the forum, yet it's like online-dating currently the top 10% of the forum has immense value and I am somewhat in the 30 range, my dating improved especially online-game and I notice how many people have inherited baseline values like. Respect Family Connection Communication Community Creativity Family Friendship Trust These are the most common values I'd say I witness especially at blue/green. What I see... especially now is the bias around dating, and the sexual latent power abuse that many are aware of and thanks to yellows behavioural freedom (Wilber course), I can break a lot of these cycles, yet I lost strength and even when people can't fathom what they see they'll interprit it at that stage. I noticed how tricky it is to trust my gut feeling, as sometimes due to survival it's simply not possible and again. Consciouness favours me. It's irrevocable, you can claim and act as conscious as you want the same goes for me, yet consciouness certainly aids me in my path. It's an immense gain in clarity and stuff for sure acclimatizes. I certainly missed reflecting deeper on these values. Personal growth and gym where so tied, what I currently am unsure of is dark masculinity and dark feminity, and I can't run the only two succesful online-dating profiles, which are bad-boys and the professional, due to life styles and beign non-toxic mostly. I do have orginality a bit on my side, so I attract girls who are fitting, the point is collective dark feminity has been testing me I find more deeply ever since Andrew Tate is here and I am doing more conscious stuff, it's like a double-standard I feel is held by power abusing greens and ironically gay men somehow seem to be my best friend in helping me with this power struggle I don't know why. Yet it's insane how far men&women drift apart in Green and Orange and how important Yellow is I find green currently very coercive due to not beign the leading edge, I had a couple of leading edge kids in the ml class, who valued exellence so much, they just exhausted both orange and green and had yellow charactersitics. What bothers me is that I feel and some take an image out of this and this is where I knew who is real and who is not real. My best friend still sends me love and greets me, yet a lot of people don't realize they gaslit me with their level of doubt and skeptecism unintended etc. This is where "applied tough love" with real love intent is at best used, instead of skeptical dark masculine energy edginess of denial. The level of depth that I developed I find it tricky to maintain and many become so pulled to it, it bothered me a lot it feels like the consciouness gravity field at times from others deny a jump to the Turqouise/indigo I felt where I was fully functioning beyond ego. Also the gym is the best setup to also grow physiologically with stages as Wilber says, so I certainly lift! This is what I find so shallow about the current generation, they don't know what a value even is. The just know externalized emotions even in an app, yet not internalized emotions and values and many seek it in nature. The point is due to Andrew Tate and the toxic white society at times, I can't really allow myself to be a player like a white man can, it's an insane level of hypocracy I notice, the point is intent matters, and I see how also the "judeo christian culture" is beign a hinderance I once longed to read about it, yet I notice this destroyed my dating life partially. I still find it tricky to engage. (Beyond 15 minutes) Update Rule: Define theme of post (Gym headline etc.)

Clarity 35 minute meditation, focus is on clarity. Themes: Perceptions that are global, yet perceived through weird channels How clarity and keeping order is good, and how clarity seems to help The crashing and burning of life purposes and deeper intuitions and how to go about it Gut feelings and what to do with that, I sometimes neglect it out of fear when I could more than often act on it Routine deeper grounded in values and how good it would have been to realize OH! I can change values and build an new life purpose, with building blocks. Vision and goals are not the issue it's the value section. The integration and the time it takes I notice how some intuited my new higher values of clarity and exellence and some even point to wisdom Sex and work and the way of superior men how to not be balanced and engage in this painful depth This is what I was thinking and digesting in flow space, I call it with subtle see space awareness. I feel as though cleaning the entire appartement and actively creating these values will create the change that I yearn to see, exellence is already on the kicker. Though I find it tricky to engage in my interest and not wase time and self-hatred, I don't know where it stems from besides the perpetuation of it through others and generally lack of self-love. Although my self-love is strong, the world tests me more ever since I stopped coffee, I've been getting more synchronicities even smaller ones, that show me. Yep this is the world testing inner strength in me, how deeply do I enact my vision. Especially spiritually and in the relationship domain I feel deprived, IT takes alos a lot of time away, so I have to see where to get love and intimacy from, I would enjoy it if I could date a c.s girl even if there is a power dyscreprancy simply because of lifestyle, and I hope she is not a workaholic at best who just pushes a career and jumps through hoops that is my gut fear, building ivory towers for ever. UPDATE RULES: A cheesy edit is an edit that is done after 10-15 minutes, so within that time frame I am allowed to edit a post. Editing more than once is forbidden. Meaning I click the button after 10 seconds, at one point I make nano-rules, micro is as important as macro... Rule update also, as soon as I get work students thingy send Leo some love via Patreon Editing a cheesy edit more than once if forbidden also, hence once edit per post. (This is an exception and rule updates are an execption) I had a thought about how to mix these values now, to get a deeper integration especially health and clarity and efficiency, I thought about how it even feels on one level better to drink an energy drink and not drink coffee and how many c.s guys/girls do it simply because of time and culture currently. I do enjoy coffee, yet I would purchase higher quality one, I purchase the organic brand and sometimes it's to heavy even. It's great for exellence somehow. I dunno. I yearn to create a life style upgrade, so I can finally cook with an open flame with a wok, and cook stir fries etc. Quicky, healthy and tasty. It's possible. What is blocking me from currently having the new wake up routine and values integrate more efficiently and productively? Simply the clarity that I create in my room and to much information at times, I would be better of reading a book, and to much doubt about processes where I already have the information like dating. I miss beign fully healthy and I have subtle fears, when I don't find the type of girl that resonates with the old higher self of me, I notice I've outgrown also Green academia for a longtime and many "immigrants", also play the game of Yellow to blue/orange and many love Green. Green without a group = death though. I don't know what to say, I had to function in this spectrum for to long. I am glad I have the two new friends. Gratitude Journal I am grateful for experiencing more clarity I am grateful that I have a strong sex drive, even when it's distracting at times I am grateful that I can see new ways to still lust I am grateful to realize how deeply I learned to love lust and how it helps to build skill I am grateful to realize that I can go deeper even since I laid the beautiful syrian girl I am grateful to realize how tricky dating is in the post-modern and modern arena I am grateful to realize how healthy red and functional yellow fundamentally works I am grateful to realize how deeply I enjoyed living in China (the water is not cold here for cold showers), showing me the interest of self-control I am grateful always to have chinese friends, I never understood the hatred I am grateful for people who value friendship even if I don't I am grateful for sexy girls matching and not beign brainwashed by the evolutionary type of reaction and mechanistic manipulation I see in this pua group, that I am in as well as how important it is to see and keep track of it to spot dating trends, it works for a reason I am grateful to accept that part of me that is like andrew tate, dark dominating masculine energy and the healthy one even penetrating the world. I forgot that even this guy must have healthy traits due to the unclarity, regardless how sick it is, his energy to penetrate the world is real, like donald trump and I am grateful to express this healthily and from no one remind myself of healthier role models like arnold schwarzenegger and the rock for example, especially when working out and I am powerlifting. The rock looks like a god. ---- Last Section: Due to this envy and lust cycle and different projections I get as soon as different countries and ethnicities is present I'd like to create more clarity, around self-control and mastery, especially and stop it totally to associated myself and wishing to associate my self with the best. To create more exellence from where I am working at and to create exellence by stopping to do things that don't work. Bringing clarity to doubt, as been a strength of mine due to mastery and the 6'ish nature I feel this is also where the 7 type of stuff shines and the 6 finds it doubts and the cycle of this simply. Right now efficieny and clarity as well as love could be the main three values. I love it how I can change my life based on values. I miss how I missed the mentioning IIRC of changing values. I miss beign more feminine and I find it tricky on a sexual specturm I notice more my intuition is correct, I yearn for a girl that is switch, simply because of high yellow and the enjoyment of polarity. I never enjoyed the skeptical fear nature, this is why I feel Hitler was allowed to reign supreme. Let's see I am making social progress based on career capital by kicking out options and talking to 1w9 and not high aiming 4's. Perfection just comes back.... I just never engaged in that much exellent perfection, and yes they write this in their book.

Post gym post. Was able to run 25minutes on the treadmill 45minutes was the maximum this year I am not training cardio this was just because I was hanging-out with a new friend and for socializing. I believe I saw the girl that flaked on the second date smoking a cigarette. The girl online also deleted me this needs specific skill training. Right now just powerlifting is good. I did not have very good contemplations besides that the world at times tests your abillity to penetrate it by listening briefly to the way of superior men, and I had this fat girl running a competition with me, so I wondred why I even feel this as I give myself the best to meditate. Anyway I notice how training cardio is tricky because of my scar and I better of cycling I presume, as the treadmill I am very bad at focusing on my breath due to injury (scar on hip), so I rely on flow and counting a lot. Also why I prefered HIT instead of cardio. I could train breathing, yet I have a lot of resistance to it. I mostly run and just let everything go and meditate with techniques. At the end I seem to have attracted some with the drive for exellence I presume I had this in mind, and also the "toxic" side of it. That is about it. I wonder what type of plan I can generate to fully go into my passions still, I trained endurance a lot to loose most of it. Anyway, I hope I can get a hot computer science girl I somehow find this sexy. I bet I subconsciously yearnd also for this. Some stuff I don't enjoy as much. Clarity around how dating works Clarity around how to create a better second bout of pictures (with&without new clothes) Clarity about why game could be a very good a nische skill to have, to simply get the girl of your dreams and desires Clarity around that I at times still deny feminine desire and energy when it comes to girls I deny the attraction to because of character based conditioning Clarity around how non-easy it is to get a girl with looks and character like my bf has for example Generally good vibes.

Vit D did not much for me I take supplements the b-12 stuff is interesting I seriously lacked this and I had the breakthrough where I took supplements. I am taking DHA and creatine now and b-complex + vit-d (once a week), l-theanin and aswagandha more for muscle growth etc. I presume as it also works with the serotonin receptors that vitmin d does not have that much of an effect, I would presume if I could get an analysis (someone once had an intuition about this, that I am high in serotonin), I lack dopamine I enjoy everything that is dopaminergic a lot. I enjoyed green tea and pepermint tea on LSD for some reason as well as cannabis, yet I am not currently doing any of this, the consciouness states are to deep for me to hold them my meditation practice would need to go up to 2h-3h per day to be able to work better with it. I enjoy mixing the two, with lower cannabis doses I could do real practice. Although I would not recommend, especially if you're not more succesful and established in life. I missed this during the trip, even when I have a degree now, I did not enjoy the notion of lacking success.

Could be for me it was a side-effect of unhealthy living and not noticing that it was unhealthy, that took away more natural expression of self-love. I also had the notion of giving love to yourself is narccistic and egotistic a lot. When I was a teenager. I don't know why till I got more out in nature and I was ashamed of giving myself self-love, yet I felt more self-love when out in nature. Hiking, bicycling and looking at the sky seeing birds, hawks etc. Just life... I never noticed this, yet I do attract people at times who are drawn to my level of self-acceptance and positvity, I was surpised by how strongly the notion of self-acceptance is, especially when I approach strangers at different scenarios they are mostly very happy to meet me. I find love can be to powerful to some, and they just reject. When I find values and internal activites that give rise to notions like this even in stress I am still very happy. What drove me to spirituality was to understand reality and what is god even? More worldy question. Why is there war? Mostly the question what is reality, and what is even real? How come there are different notions of god? Self-love, joy and higher emotions are awesome even just plain positivity and feeling upbeat. Thriving on the self-actualization path definitely entails a lot of positive emotions and actively working through pain and negative emotions not denying them and surpressing them. There are so many twist and counter-intuitive things. For example from Wilber higher development hurts more bothers less. As well as if I recall correctly, a deeper sense of pain perception and therefore a deeper swing into higher emotions etc, yet I am paraphrasing here very hard from an audiobook called transendence. I sometimes wonder what self-actualization is, yet when I meditate everday I just enjoy how I can get over my ego and see growth in getting over my ego etc and still having a healthy functional self.