ValiantSalvatore

It's so weird someone legit thanked me and told me I am doing well, I barely had any bio etc. I have now 5 followers wow! I don't even know why, yet it is what it is. People really are looking for a way to destress without the hypermateralism and sex & stress etc. and the subtle competition when so many people live together etc.

Let's see... the chinese girl obviously gave me a spontaneous possibility, and the only conscious PUA I ever found is travelling. The others wanted to go to a classical concert..... I'd still go, just to socialize in any possible way it feels very good to contemplate like this, I barely can speak with anyone about dating most guys and my "fitness", worst comes to worst I'll eat hotpot with the other friend again, yet Germany is such a fk*ed country. Watch as soon as cannabis get's legalized and you grow and have good stuff & go out, you're going to get laid massively. Even from Owen Cook the most chill guys who care the least get also a lot of lays. The level of maturity of so called "mature" people is also an immense issue, I believe I have only meet one mature person my entire life, there are so many unrealistic standards nowadays. Still from now on everything should become better, the point of have's & have not's is immense imo, and stage green academia with stage orange graduates mostly. I don't know how to deal with this, many greens just run around in their circles and can't deal with Yellow complaints, the ones very yellow, tbh on average if they've never done development I don't know.... how high their IQ is, yet it's beyond way beyond the usual stuff. I also can clearly see the issue of young guys doing spirituality not exhausting orange, this shit will last till your 50's & 40's and most express this in their work most likely, the point is the center of gravity with the people I am working with is at minimum Green & not higher I have so many different type of problems. I don't even know what to do about it besides to invest in coaching and get more money. Skill development due to the heavy isolation is a super big issue, I hope this works. Some guys also contacted me for the stream for artwork as I thought this is beautiful, I could also test twitch services streaming on LSD, as it's legal and test the waters, as for example weed is allowed etc. Also, I really craved this it's sort of karma, and the vibe definitely runs off, of feeling & beign seen. For sure there are deeper ways to put things into words, I listend to the god-consciouness video on 1P-LSD & contemplated the depths of it, and the NN-DMT trip and generally other stuff, I did not go into the depths of it, as I get to existential and there is to much panic in my body stored & generally the 6'ish nature of this country makes it worse, it's a very subtle lunacy I have to get close to in order to bypass it and get to the real depths. Anyway my options are still fantastic from now on out, it's more about the work and not giving up. If I would not see perfection daily I'd be out I contemplated some very fking serious practice like dogzchen on my trip and just Wilbers life which is immensely hardcore way beyond the average type of post you see about some ranter. Spirituality as a whole just fking started at orange, if you don't believe me, I believe my dating apps, I've never seen this also the level of rational acceptance of it etc. Also due to the high orange professors who are enforcing green values etc. There are so many things I am contemplating pragmatically, for now I'll legit start my stupid little stream & chill, I'd eventually stream my guitar practice, it just feels very good to be seen, even if it is just myself alone without any "cultural historical dogma" I don't vibe very well it green academics they regress to often, and can't provide the level of clarity, especially girls are stuck at a mostly masculine energy and often relax around Yellow as this provides more clarity, some are already more yellowish~ yet currently I frankly gave up on creating these LC's and just live more intutively it felt to much of experts type of work etc. I've read and listend to a lot of it, do you remember the lecture or the course you did 10 months ago? No! Only through deep connections & learning & I hopefully get around implementing these principles, yet to long breaks can be detrimental. I'd have to see currently the contractive type focus of my practice is immensely beneficial I let go of so many subtle self & ego strands with these techniques in my physical body -> identification with breath, identification with inflated lungs, cerebellum etc. A doctor could even give more clarity, yet this is as good as it is. Friday I meet my trainer for the gym there is a bunch of stuff I'll have to apply to & I might not have as much time, generally speaking engineers should realize the current predicament etc. Many are also workaholics without admitting it, I don't enjoy this life & I will do my best to create some level of automation & or chill mangerial enviroment, as managing is one strength, I have to see. The welcome days of the company I was working at showed me wow, dude these people are all lower in educational standard and have these positions by beign socially very intelligent, I don't have the advantage of doing sports locally, so I have to see and be ready for networking etc. Also to pick the right projects & relaxing also. These endlessly long journals whatever bullshit it is, it feels partially so good to have my brain of focusing on this self in breath and physicallity omfg, you can't believe it when you daily notice subtles pains of injury and scar since birth etc. How much self there is in there is insane, and how much I deconstructed already is already more insane etc. Anyway, I'll finally stream now and play some Baldurs Gate 3, I won my little game I eventually post pictures of my office etc. It's quiet sick imo. I have a lamp with a lan cable, free bionade, fritz-cola, mars, snickers, fruits -> immense level of fruits plums, pfirsisch sorry, pears, apples, bannana, other stuff I don't even know about, and there are many events. The rating of the company is 4.2 from 5.0 on Glassdoor, so it's quiet good most complain about pay, yet the company culture is the best thing, they offer to work in different countries and give their best to be avant-garde. I hope the Fortbildungen pay off in the long-run and I could work as software-architect in the U.S and earn 350k minimum and 550k maximum a year, and then still do stuff on the side. They currently even pay a machine learning engineer as project manager 950k and a ups driver 170k?? Like america is one weird ass country. I'll legit see what I can do due to the fitness injury I have a major vision crash, and I can become to arrogant when I am not grounded. Grounding for me is deep exercise and deep meditation session where I feel the body & the outside world. I stablize to much of it, and I become ignorant etc. Anyway, let' see what works this journal will bring a lot of stability. I can't believe this ridiculous song is called preset heaven. I am so glad I don't have to listen to the debauchery of historical music in an extremely modern perspective, I don't enjoy it I can enjoy classical music, yet one word if it's not rap music or a very good song and I can't listen to it. The sort of ingrained ... "racial" feelings.... I get from listening to cultural music is at times not good for me it reminds me of to much b.s I don't enjoy and I can't do much about like poverty, racism etc. There is only so much I can do and I choose the inspirational side of things. For example: But Ed Sheran again is freaking goated. I am just not good at finding the proper stuff, yet I don't know. I generally enjoy high-vibe stuff & sort of connect to the black culture of America etc. and fundamentally my blood? What am I supposed to say? This is stuff I'd love to learn how to play, I would love to know if you could play trance & hip-hop on an e-guitar. This all reminds me of good journey music and feelings of abundance in music, without any syntheziers etc. As well as this connects me to my notion of better rock music, non-class evoking subcontexts. At least for me.

Going to stream Baldur's Gate and drink some red wine, there is such much I'd complain about you'd not believe it. I am also very good and have very fine tasting usually as long as people don't put pressure on me and the quality is actually good of the product. The cultural wine event I went to with the girl, she could not taste the difference. I invited a bunch of people to a rave, I love techno music and enjoy the variety of music generally speaking, I hope I can buy the electric guitar in October. A lot of quality girls on dating plattforms, yet so many angles to analyse this from. I schedule a meet up with a coach & I ask someone experienced what he thinks of this lift etc. Posting 1h session in the morning & about challenges will be great, I don't enjoy any analog writting anymore besides for thinking processes, and also buying a tablet is on my list etc. Especially, networking within the company. The issue is the stage blueness energy and rigidty from my old culture and the actual Yellow crunch, just expressing myself already will do 100x better, there are so many events it's crazy. I'll stream a bit later, I craved a different game due to wine and techno etc. Baldurs Gate 3 is amazingly good, yet I played already 60h of early access. Also god apparently is a DJ for whatever reason.

30 min session UM style Mantras felt very good to hear them generally speaking immensely good for dealing with contractions somehow it's been a while to digest contraction so wholesome Bunch of other stuff I most likely mention in posts. Currently the dating & achievment issue & girls in dating apps all in orange dress and looking for the meritocraty benefit, if I would speak consistently the truth, people would. Overall very good to get back into the right frames etc.

This is also very good, about more journaling, he exactly describes the b.s that I am going through 99.9% of the time in my life it feels like nothing is changing and boom, welp here is the big thing you've been working on. I can't even look at my journals I at times glimpst at them and cringe myself to death and laugh at the stupidity of it. Some of it are deeper and re-occurent. Also the point about effort is so good, I've been so influenced by 3's in the enneagram as they embody this as it's a lack most likely that occures. I miss the more chill mechanic type of wake up do work, damn fuck I made an improvement cool. Move on. This is freaking excellent & he's a guy from my generation that also knows how deeply he loves humans. I clearly sense this, even if he was toxic and juvenile. I know how rigidly disgusting northern and german speaking countries are, it's a meme. A guy yesterday bald looked outside of the window and told us, you fking gaylords (homos deeper racism possible) fuck off (verpisst euch) from my window, he could have said it normaly and we'd be gone in 2 minutes, he kept going, yeah. Oh yeah my bike got stolen 700€ value Germany such a safe country.... I can't believe how godless this place is, and how animalistic and introverted. My company provides a bike service, yet I don't want it to get stolen again, so I just walk currently and reduced gym time, I buy some running shoes hopefully with the next payroll. But first a drying machine....

I thought about this for a while and wrote a post and deleted it, but here I go with all of the immense pressure of modern dating for guys and girls and unrealistic standards. What can I do to meet a quality girl that is not interested the shallow way of relationships to give an example. I scrolled through Bumble and saw a girl from the city I am living in and she had a VM in her profile: "Hey I really hope you look good in a suite as I need you for attending weedings" with a super alluring voice. I could not believe it. Then generally the tons of girls diving, motorcycling, on vacation, master's degree etc & the billions smoking, partying, half naked gym selfies & unrealistic bio descriptions about preferences etc. There are a few gems out of 100 swipes or so at least 1 or 2 girls would fit a guy very well. I am just so perplexed as there are so many girls here I would date by looks, I don't believe the pool at times, yet it's evident online. So there is a huge incentive for me to invest, also as it's the most time efficient way to meet girls in theory. Then again when going out I meet a lot of interesting people, yet barely any girls as most of my friends are introverts and nerds, and it takes a tremendous amount of energy as a social introvert to be social and introverted. I convince them, invite them, make suggestions etc, yet I barely meet any girls that way. Joining the PUA group and game group did barely anything I saw how toxic most PUA's are for online-dating even if their advice works and they need some serious therapy, as they basically banned the whole group due to the heavy toxicity, yet if you get girls in a silver plater you know what makes them tick and what works more effectively. The issue is these groups besides for online-Dating are dead, no one goes out here and I would need to stick to one guy and consistently ask him, even if he is a gem. I genuinely hate being in the group, ironically this guy did everything perfect, the irony is he is to conscious for the average normies and PUA's, so I don't know if I should reach out to him and do game. I feel burnt out from doing so much socializing work and working in general, sometimes in utter vain to get my social needs meet. Yet, if I don't do it I even feel more burnt, I just notice my "samskaras/shadow" about hatred of humanity often as I am on my edge when I am executing. Also others generally like me often, besides if they are bitter perfectionists not being able to see perfection in imperfections.... (to paraphrase thick face black heart and leadership principles) . So I am socializing more & get better career opportunities, yet I don't really meet any girls that are of quality. I went to a yoga studio and this was the only place where I thought wow I don't get a hypercompetetive modern materialist and it was full of girls ratio like 30 girls to one guy approx, yet I left as I did not really have the time & money for this studio. Things changed and I have more money for it, yet it's a very inefficient spiritual practice still. Especially yin yoga as a guy... All dates I had were pretty conscious this year, yet many girls yearn to have this deep on the edge energy and it costs me so much energy to sustain this level of depth of being a "bad boy/masculine guy/lover/" etc. I lost a lot of drive due to injury, so often I either show what's still there without being needy and generally act more chill. A date I had two weeks ago I did not escalate, now wants me as a friend and socialization opportunity and vice-versa she offered it to me, which I thought was cool. But, still this was very random and many girls deleted me recently & my date last week did not show up for the first time and I was so angry for various reasons I could name. I still chilled it out and calmed down. Just left the scene, yet wasted money which I did not like. Generellally speaking I find most girls are super unsatisfied and are stoping to empower men many just grind it out faster and more efficient and I would lie if girls these days can't meet their basic needs more easily than ever. Good friendships are rarer though. I just don't know what I can do besides to look for parties and invite the current friends I have or to continue to build my life I am so dejected from never having a girlfriend and these unrealistic standards, I don't know what to do. Besides either to grind out and max out the stage orange way of getting laid online & offline or to be more authentic put even more work in and deal with the dejection and apathy that occured, when things don't turn out that well. Going to classes & like dancing & cooking is none of my interest and I don't enjoy it and I can't do some stuff due to injury. The best thing I could do is to go out with the PUA from time to time, build on my life as much as I can & career and networking options etc, continuously nuture the new friendships. I am doing all of that besides the PUA thing. I am so lost on what to do I'd love to go on a rave and even organise one I like to party also generally, yet none of my friends this has been an issue ever since. I don't meet people online either for this I thought about Bumble friends and eventually meeting friends for this that way, as most Germans I would meet daily do not have my music taste... I would need to go to classical events and the theater... & I am sick and tired of post-modern & modern culture currently. Any solutions to this besides to play the same game? Take great pictures & approaching girls and doing game? Anyone developed a social circle that attracted girls etc? Or generally did anyone solve the modern dating problem without burning and crashing & working ones ass off to create a lifestyle & vision that automatically gets you girls & fulfillment internally etc? Sorry, for the many questions and any input is appreciated, as long as it's not troll &/or toxic.

@Raze Thanks for the links I really have to consider multiple things and unresolved issues. That come up during meditation & stuff, it's really hard to notice these high consciouness patterns it's very difficult also to described and get lured into lunacy and some of this stuff I am not that interested in, yet popular culture advocates it.

I generally don't plan to approach till I moved and I am working full-time, as I can schedule it better to consistently rely on spotaneous bursts burns me out. The only way I meet girls is be organizing friends and online-dating and work/uni. I can on Yeah, this was the only place where I felt the girls were a tad more conscious and normal, even if new age a bit. Generally speaking people in Germany are not as delusional, the subtel materalism is worse & power hungryness. I have a decent place & a car. I even have a sauna, in my small appartement hosting small parties & stuff would be cool, yet most of my friends don't drink they just work and some some sort of hobby like every normie. I hosted some parties and I am very good at befriending hosts of home parties etc. besides if they are to power hungry, so I know how that usually works. I just don't meet anyone who hosts parties. The idea of inviting girls and getting contacts is ideal, the point is having good guy friends is almost as rare as being extremely good at game, it takes a lot of time and nuturing, even naturals I meet go out 2-3 times a week. The idea is very good I keep this in mind, as I generally get popularity bonuses everytime I meet people. The issue is most guys hope I bring the girls, yet I am in the same dilema, yet not as much anymore at least I know some contacts etc. now. I am still in uni&working part-time now, I just don't meet people who are into this in computer science, nobody goes to party and they care more about working & relaxing 99% of the time and their weird ideas. No, you're advice most likely is top tier to some level, as it basically summarises a lot that I saw of people who are succesful with girls, the website I checked it out and implemented some advice, I can also only do so much, yet it's a good reminder as I have more money now, to at least upgrade style etc. Although I am looking more for internal solutions, I wrote the dude also about going out and doing game as he is very good & the groups are dead 90% of people moved to online imo, barely anyone talks about meeting girls offline etc. I've worked my ass partially off and went through dark periods to create the life I thought I like, what Owen Cook imo is correct about is that a connection to god&deep passion etc, you want to call it fixes 100% of problems. I struggle with this as I have extremely high standards most likely & generally speaking actualized.org at times did more harm than good, so I am dealing with this sh*t also. Thank you for your sharing a perspective & tipps. I'll hopefully remember to check-out the tinder-guide once I receive my paycheck & can go into this. I am doing so much restructuring consistently it's so fking exhausting. This only dating and modern dating shit and how weak men generally speaking are creates a lot of internal hatred. I'd wish the community of men would not be as toxic as it is. But it is how it is. I'll legit save money and most likely purchase some coaching the advice and toxicity is so fking bad and there are good programs relatively cheap. For example 30€ for some text game stuff etc. I generally found this to be of value and I might purchase his coaching if it is somewhat affordable. https://textgod.com/courses/

Definitely true, I notice now after a short period of practice how 30 minutes of meditation is plenty to get into the depth of the trip and to feel and get into the vibes and remainders of the trip be it positive/negative. Even this re-creational trip deepend my practice by 20-30% I'd say, I can dissolve some stuff that stems from the past & I have a deeper connection to expansive flow type of enlightenment / pure joy & bliss type of flow type feelings currently. Also the techniques I am using switches and I I am getting more into the very advanced territory I notice.

I did a smaller trip for me, as I know I can intensify the profundity of a trip quiet vastly, with other methods after I read what others described. I did it more re-creationally, and you might can give it the new idea of re-creation as bounce. I seriously had to contemplate as to why I did all of these practice and what a single breakthrough experience ultimately comes down to. There are some very awesome beautiful mini insights, that I've gathered and that I fundamentally have to cultivate. What I fundamentally realize is that spirituality is not a joke and can not be done by any trick it legit just happens. I also intuited why the issue of contemplating the intake & idea of having taken a psychdelic is a pure fiction. Still to come to these realizations even sober, would wonder most. I had to re-consider my thinking of depth & why & how I gained that level of depth and it merely was by the continuity of practice & all of the efficiencies I've created for my life to facilitate that process. Also how painful it is and the origin & enjoyment of depth & pain. What bothered me the most is the idea of having interest, depth & richness of experience as well as how painful it is to build this with the right kind of practice. I know why also some of these insights came realitvely fast to me and also why so slow, it's not easy to continously have interest in esoteric teachings & practicing them after hearing & reading & seeing dozens and reading countless of reports. The level of depth & interest it took me to create all of these consciouness experiences as well as to accept all of the painful and embarresing moments about my personal life & existence. How painful it is to realize god and to consistently be in such a state even ordinarily, how much value the ordinarily state already has in terms of the level of depth & degrees realized. How much value it takes to create this even by will. It's not easy to put into words what I'd like to with a few simple terms, yet I see more & more why the value for example about beauty & health all boils down to the beauty and conscious will of infinite intelligence. I don't know how many clips & or book segments and readings or puzzles there are. It's amazing to see the will & beauty of infinite intelligence unfold in masses & alone and see good human hearted intend. The also clarifies again and again, why some of the experiences I've had on meditation retreats seemed so psychdelic. It bothered me recently a bit to all boil it down to some "genius idea" & insight some stuff does occure by chance, by simply doing the right things, consistently... even if that would entail eternity... considering ominpotence etc. I am simply very grateful to have this life & to experience all of it's richness and detail & I found some new inspiration to some of the yogic practices, especially simple things as stretching and becoming very flexible, I've went to very extensive lenghts in order to build a body capeable of even handling such high consciouness states, and it's not really a joke. If I care about stabalizing this experience. I really had to re-thinkg the whole idea of mechnical creation also, especially when I look outside now and I see simply the beauty of the sun shining etc. How great it is to continously build upon healthy foundations as well as to seriously take on the emotional interests and labour of my interests. I completely forget, how real my vision is and how deep these problems are that I looked at that humanity could be facing. As well as the how isolating this work is and the beauty that a community is. I also realized why some do these specific practices to attain what they can attain. Fundamentally, I legit realized what it takes more in order to realize what I'd love to realize even if I don't know. Just be in awe and beauty of myself, yet the amount of work humans do in order for it to function properly, to have this unique experience is simply huge. Also I have to re-think the idea of unfullfilment and all of these human things on a micro-level and I see what I am currently doing and why I choose the current technique that I am doing, I am pretty sure I still choose the right stuff to learn from. I've talked to a friend recently about all of this consciouness stuff, and he sent me some pretty "insane" stuff, that would simply made me believe about aliens again & infinite intelligence no matter how hard you'd boil it down to mechanics, patterns, interconnections, perspective taking. I am also more and more convinced that so many mental disorder the more I hear the exact perfect thing at the perfect time, are partially humanly constructed. Obviously, drama happens yet it's puzzling when I find out what the correct answer is. As well as my predelictions and biases how much is created by fear in inventions of my mind. I simply forget how important it was to me personally to do this sober & or not, and I simply see these awakenings are not by pure chance, it's by conscious will & effort. To sustain this & have a supporting enviroment is amazing. I noticed also some smaller more interconnected patterns that I can't even test, yet it's not easy for me to sustain a level of clarity and concentration of interest. To learn from so many teachers, teachings & direct experience is amazing what amazes me more is the continuity of depth & practices involved in getting deeper. Most would not sign-up for a 30 day meditation retreat. 20 day meditation retreat 3 day meditation retreat, yoga retreat to fully experience consciouness. The level of depth of reality can be altered very fast, by the abillity to take care of life properly. Especially, doing work & being innovative having friendships, family & relationships. The caring that goes into this amazes me till this day, yet how much purity is required to venture into the deeper ends. Makes me think about simple thing such as success is simply consistent fulfilment & failure is consistent unfulfillment. What experience people show and report to me when I contemplate it in my mind amazes me. The level of depth you create by simply going inside yourself, by conscious will and intention amazes me. Still to do some of this stuff and function in the real world without friends & family is insane. I simply realize the value of contemplative practice now matter how small it is. In other words to enjoy the richness of experience is why I enjoyed doing all of these practices. Still if I could fundamentally change them I would not know, there was a lot of beauty created in my life, I don't know how to be grateful for that. The level of bounce & tiny distinctions that you can draw to enjoy life how deep it get's. I would not believe what distinctions I can draw from reading a simple manuscript and applying it.... With more dilligence and patience I would have signed up for meditation courses and practices as this is the more "easier" route to get into the depth of consciousness while working & doing life. I would never aruge about the value of practice, if it would be psychdelic infused & or not. Even to breath is amazing. There is so much value to reading and doing practices I completely forgot the enjoyment of it. Due to health and the chasing of ever more "richer" experiences without being ready for it. Feel free to delete this thread, if it seems like ranting or toxic, I just was hyped and amazed by how convinced I am when I read reports older and newer ones how a deep practice of any type of activity can create conscious experience. All I can say is even with my current body I never fully functionally tested consciouness. I never did, it amazes me. How much effort I can put in to create these experiences even just minor awakenings baffles me. I'd really would love simply to see what a breakthrough experience is on 5-Meo and to run in a forest etc. When I consider motor neurons & what ever you can consciously think about, to even consider the possibility of training these things to such high states consistently even just being able to replicate it. Man I just got started and it did not even start. I have to prepare to finish all of this. Especially, the richness of experience without seriously hurting others. I don't know how fast I can build depth, yet I seriously re-considere of how efficiently I can do it & I would say it's still pretty efficient, in contrast to eons of community practice in a monastry. To take these courses and to learn from life itself is immensely rich and deepening. I still yearn to create this buying a house, owning a car etc. There is so much unlearning and learning it's been taking alot of me to create somewhat of a balance and harmony and to create this. In the end I don't know what it will entail. My breath has more wisdom than this entire post, I don't know how deep I could experience life, yet I wasted so much of it. It's quiet painful. All in all the thing I miss the most is conscious experience and activity itself being fully conscious of it. I'll take some measures to make this also happen. There is some stuff I'd love to write down and simply implement. This is also currently the best and the most I can do. Reading scriptures I have to re-consider all of this. I am quiet down to go down the path of consciouness.

@JuliusCaesar Yeah I'd agree with the author the 1D-lSD headspace is definitely stronger than LSD approx 450 mcg LSD is 300 mcg 1D-LSD imo, I wrote a somewat more subjective description & report here. Thanks for the the share also. I did not dive into the details, yet this psychdelic substance is definitely more powerful than ETH-LAD, ALD-52 & LSD I would place it to second strongest and 1P-LSD as the strongest in terms of potency, the come up took me 40 min (+-10) and overall the trip was very enjoyable. I could go into the depth of existential contemplation very easily, yet I opted not to and explored first. Better overall prep is needed to dive into the deep existential contemplations that can occure, like what is consciouness, who am I beyond beign a conscious human? etc. I also would say I became a bit more emotional on 1D-LSD, so & you can contemplate trauma most likely a bit better as it's intense, yet not to intense etc. Very good substance, yet I would take a couple of days off afterwards to recharge.

What I've been thinking about also lately to write a small addition is to contemplate the idea of the spontaneous fullfilment of desire & that this fullfilment can mechanically be trained, chemically etc. It's very beautiful I cried a couple of times during the trip. I did not go full deep existential simply because of fear. All of the stuff I've been doing and my strength of playfulness was taken partially. To realize and actualize these new experiences I never imagined all of this. I hope I can continue all of this consciouness exploration. I really miss it to have depth of spontaneity in my life, as well as I've been cultivating it all the time. Thanks for anyone reading and even considering this, I've missed out on the depth of creation of it all and the immense value all the spiritual practices and retreat I had, I forgot I had gratitude in my daily practice. It's immense how far gratitude can take one in life, I would not have imagined it. I wish at times I would have the deeper courage and patience to experience the depth & richness of it.

I'll take on tab today, as the stuff arrived fast. I'll post a report, yet I am not really into serious tripping currently. I hope I get more personal insights & can apply them.

I only found this short, I don't have time to dive into the depth of it I listend to some scientist talk about it, I found it amazing how little we know about our universe, that we have primordial galaxies that are younger than our milkyway galaxy, I watched some science conference, here are some different links. I was hyped to see what footage this brings. It's amazing, I love how deep trips made me contemplate this. This is also the full conference, I did not watch it, in it's entirety.

Cool, thanks for sharing the info!

Thank you for your detailed answer, especially the steeper come up is interesting as the onset phase is one of my favourite phases it's very enjoyable to reach the peak & feel that come-up & peaking. I take it on my own accord there are various factors I could optimize in order to create a better exerpience for the psychdelic experience, a simple one for me personally is stress. I also get an immense amount of healing when on LSD, I did not do as much shrooms I did truffles once and I found them to be underwhelming I had to take the whole pack & at best smoke some cannabis that could get me into an deeper end (hashish at best or silver haze has worked the best so far, yet I did not try vaporizes & such to also consider health more seriously). I don't touch tobacco, as this is very stupid imo & addicting. No, i don't need 400-600 I enjoy the depth it can provide so I often take heroic doses, I can get into "god-mode" when listening to music & hearing music naturally somewhat or "god-flow" type feelings as I am hypersensetive, I can and I took less also, it's very good for deconstruction bla bla, yet not for real "I am consciouness mode" where casual thinking does not even occure, it's like a different type of processing of information that is not really anymore biological etc. I had this once on a very high dose & with hours of meditation. I generally set intentions did it with & without, and generally experiment. I am most likely one of the most responsible trippers you can find and also one of the most sensetive and resistant. It depends the best experience I've had are with very long preperations of multiple meditation retreats per year & a daily fully consistent meditation practice, I've noticed the afterglow of both practices dovetail into each other & foster tremendous growth I could fundamentally sniff-out kriyas, breakthroughs & peak experience as well as learned a lot about false hope & stuff like this. What you describe is very basic, I would really "need" a more intermediate/advanced breakdown of preperations, I tripped also during meditation retreats etc. to contrast consciouness & technique at virtual home retreats & I plan so in the future, I just am scared at times that I f* up the energetic quality of the trip of other members etc. As stuff can come up etc. etc.

I don't really know what you're going through neither am I a licensed psychologist, I thought about what you've wrote and the book RoT by Ken Wilber (Religion of Tomorrow) some stuff you describe is more of a dysfunction of entering TIER 3 or being at a TIER 3 for example some psychosis is not really psychosis but psychosis... & depersonalization can happen at these stages if there is not integration of shadow/trauma elements and they can also be created by these states & stages as well as also dealt with. If you're looking for answers and you for example went to a psychotherapist, some are not qualified enough to diagnose this, yet Wilber writes about the dysfunctions that can be created and are present in these TIER 3 stages, the stuff that you described psychosis & depersonalization IIRC is relatively common. Also they can help very well with the dysfunction if the proper solutions is applied, although that may not apply in reality etc. & some self-help stuff or a more consciouness oriented psychotherapist (evolved psychotherapist) can help etc. Unfortunately, there is not much written about psychdelics as far as I can remember.

For me it's similar, it's better when I do it before & I also notice plateus in skills the biggest thing I noticed though when I am fit & mindful is the abillity to lead and coordinate in teams and handle stress. Doing it before is better than afterwards mostly. Although sometimes I am "to conscious" for othters in earlier conscious type of video games, they don't comprehend the perspective & I have to adjust for example to the lower vibes, which can suck.

Mechanistic wordviews and Christian ideas are almost one and the samething, a more realistic thing to say is simply most Christians etc. Don't have a real practice that produces higher/later states of consciouness, there are some smaller people. I dunno everytime I do retreats and enter a more profound existence I hear church bells and it really helps to deepen my spiritual connection even if there is a lot of "evil" inside the church, same goes for hearing a minaret or a muslim guy singing deeply to Allah etc. I can deeply resonate with some of the content of the Bible etc. depending on how that level of depth is conveyed or how I experienced it. Generally reading any of this without reading about other traditions is simply dangerous, some cross-paradigmatic thinking has to occure.

What is HHC exactly? I just saw a short documentary is it really legal? White light is a very high state at Casual level of experience of consciouness fundamentally, one of the peaks of my current practices, I had short glimpses during retreats also and just in very very deep rest states where I was exhausted for a couple of seconds. It felt like pure bliss also. Wish you the best on your healing journey, what type of personality disorder do you have that is disturbing, if you don't mind sharing? I don't know if psychedelics heal stuff like this, and how far science is as they just treat more basic stuff like depression. I never had experiences like this. Just very deep consciouness states and a lot of love & positive regard of myself & live. I once heard stories beign spoken from a video in different timelines, based on perception of consciouness, yet was very odd. I still can't describe the experience and was more in the "power releam" of stuff. Nothing very useful/healing.

Cool. I've been in the 600 ug+- ranges and more, me & LSD get along quite well, also it's derivates 1P-LSD was the best thing I've taken it's also more potent than LSD IIRC. Only had one bad trip out of 40-30+ trips in 6 years or so. Was hoping for a more nuanced perspective, thanks for sharing though. I am a pretty solid meditator also for almost 8 years now with ups & downs, so it's not really that big of a deal. It's like a 10x retreat in a sense. The same also goes for shadow work approx, yet I stoppd this recently. How did the experience differ in contrast to 1P-LSD?

I doubt a human body could handle some level of consciounesses, the existence of having a body might cause the issue I don't know. Shinzen definitely advocates setting goals and striving. If we merge with A.I maybe some other depths are possible and it will most likely happen, still different biological life forms and cells might be able to go into deeper states with a more life like body and existence, yet it all could simply be fantasy. imo who knows. Maybe the machine even drags you down, I really dunno or it's a reductionistic approach, but works I dunno. Difficult to explain what I mean, I hope the generally idea applies.

I don't know how much you're into Wilber fundamentally when I interpret all of the stuff correctly everything even what Ralston & other "Buddhist", "Woke-Is~t" talk about is mapped out by Wilber, if I contrast the level of presence of some of the western guys & the deep presence and "Einstellung" of eastern teachers the level of depth is not found in many of the west. A true change in consciouness is permanent it differs from a peak experience, in that sense it's direct even a peak, is direct it absolutely shows you what is there, yet a capital T True change is fundamentally a permanent shift in consciouness it's there after the peak/realization experience, that is what I generally meant. Which is obvious, yet should be pointed out all of these peaks/realizations that exists are gateways into a permanent change of conscious experience. Otherwise it was mostly a glimps. Still at a horiziontal level, for example I have now permanent realization X, I can go endlessly into expoloring the level of depth in that area, yet it's not the next lvl Y in that case, so there is no higher/later/deeper level yet realized, simply continous exploration of consciouness lvl X. That is the difference of exploring a structure-stage (vertical development in itself) horizontally!! which means that you gain more depth in this plane and leveling that structure stage is vertical development and practice, which is an important distinction. So you basically make a leap to the next level and can again explore horiziontally, that also causes the issue of transcending (leveling up) to aggresively where shadow elements can be forged. You could simplify it to this conceptual train/equation.... Translating => Horizontal Development => Horizontal Depth != Transcending => Vertical Development => Vertical Depth ( => Exploring multiple levels early ones and later ones /higher&lower), of any consciouness plane. These concepts fundamentally make a very good distinction of what happens during consciouness exploration, the next important point would be interpretation! The center of gravity (current lvl & perspective taking abillity) allows you to explain and experience the experience at this exact level of possible interpretation a fundamentalist muslim & christian or jewish person can have a god-realized experience, yet will explain it at this level, an athetist/agonostic (generally higher/later development...) would explain and describe the experience differently at a more accurate/higher level of interpretation. If I am allowed to make up more categories you could make a distinction between Higher Interpretation abillity and lower as well as earlier and later, this is extremely fking important for context. For example a 17-14 year old rationalist atheist could comprehend the experience differently than a 26 year old multisystemic system thinker. I don't know how much morals & emotions matter in that case as a developmental line, yet it's definitely important to consider. Also, considering a classic path, Vipassana won't get you non-duality etc, yet could lead you to a strucuture-stage called Causal. This is mapped out by wilber, different paths lead to different permanent levels of realization. Vipassana ends at Causal structure-stage. I practice a mixture of it, so I don't know where I'll end and if there is a possible TIER 4, yet that is mere speculation, as archetypes do occure at early Causal state & at late you have the emptiness stuff, in that sense it's not consciouness simply Causal state.... & structure-state, if I recall correctly my readings.

Most are True changes are permanent , a taste differs from permanent growth. Yet also horizontral growth can be experienced deeper love, bliss etc. That is what interests me also for example deeper spacious experiences and to do retreats there. I love expanding consciouness feelings etc. I'd love to experience a permanent structure change in that sense...!

I was not fortunate enough to study under many teachers, mostly two directly and I talked recently to a person who might have been serious about a rinzai-zen path which heavily involves thinking & contemplation, yet.... as a girl I don't know if this hardcore masculine path resonated with her, I experimented with the following: Mixture of 50 minutes shinzen young & kriya yoga meditations for 3 months approx. (it was okay but very exhausting the kriya yoga had immense effects on energetic qualities), more than the coarse mindfulness meditation approach without exclusively focusing on flow. Soto-Zen retreats it was very good to deal in a group with the energy of lethargy and it was pretty basic, after the 14 days I first noticed for the first time, fuck everything is so fast and streamlined in my consciouness while I am very slow, it helped immensely dealing with others and managing them, as they were stuck in their fast paced thinking & not deliberate depth Some stuff from Sadghuru online & once yin-yoga from the local yoga school, integral mindfulness, breath count meditation etc. There are different things, the thing that is the most unexplored region for me is yoga, especially the physical yoga, yet I am basically limited to do mostly seating type practices and some energetic type mix eventually like qi-gong etc. To boost my practice. The effects of weighlifting for retreats have also been good, for faster breakthroughs during retreats with a "brute force & chill attitude". The idea of the end of suffering, I never considered it real, yet I wished it to be true for many who suffer. The intensity of suffering I experience the more consciouness I gain is the most paradoxical thing. In that sense it hurts more and bothers me less. When I talked to one of the coaches of Shinzen, he told me you can get quick results mostly by doing retreats in the 3 months range. The most realistic thing s1 can do is to do weekend retreats, solo-retreats, psychdelic retreats and explore many different paths, and stick to one main path and adjust and stablize as much as possible imo, I am currently very keen to learn from adyashanti as just my life experience demands it sort of. I keep feeling the resonance. Kriya-Yoga I would love to do, as a retreat, yet you basically would need to have a family imo that is highly sustainable and offers you the freedom to practice this, while you still are able to provide. I also have some personal ressonance to some christian traditions, yet I would never explore them, yet the act of surrender gives me an immense depth & connection to god, so a love oriented practice generally helps. I also find it fascinating when I consider Daniel Ingram as a doctor he must have witnessed and gotten into an immense level of pain & suffering, and the paradox of not beign able to solve it and diving into hardcore practices. Anyway, what I'd like to say is the best thing s1 can do is to do sabbatical and deeply integrate the lessons like 1-2 year bootcamp/retreat. If the more hippy-meta-modern interest and acceptance rises, we might get more psychedelic infused retreats, that would facilitate depth immensely and get back deeper to stronger shamanic roots, which helps to deal with the twisted resonance of "animalistic&robotic" nature of society. Even though the streamlined soto-zen do-nothing path helped me the most, yet it's so fking important to focus on fullness to not starve from the excessive yang energy, imo I was not fortunate enough to meet a real chinese master in China, yet when I saw the temples some of them are deeply fking conscious it's scary af, walking through these temples & these coincidences don't feel random. I still have a rough idea, what would suit me, the more retreats and depth I gain the more I notice how deep it can get. The 20+ mico-retreats from Shinzen each micro-retreats opens my eyes to some level, the point is the level of stimulation is unreal, you basically need some level of sensory deprivation to recharge yourself etc. With all the science & psychdelic there will be more a anmalistic rebellion against the higher stuff etc. Anyway.