ValiantSalvatore

This does not get you laid, yet attracts people who want their issues to be fixed.... I struggle with self-sacrifice also now even more more than ever & I was pretty good at this... The hurt & pain of organizing is part of growing as a leader was an insight I had . I was so frustrated etc.i'll sleep for now I don't know what else to say. I feel like an imposter & I can't dispell this illusion & healthy doubt mixed in it as well anymore. Yeah yeah... higher SD development & the spiral spiraling out of control....

The arrogance of c.s made it also tricky for me to love this. I don't find as much joy anymore in creating & skill building due to the career nature of it & not the inner kid that explores the. Beauty of computer code/mathematics. The death of my grandma was not that big of a deal, yet the injury fked up everything when I look healthy people in the eye they are like well you have to just take it at times . I am also very tired atm, society here is so orange and the greens are very stereotypical. If Owen would live in Germany he'd understand why there are prostitutes it's an issue especially nowadays. I barely see any couples also. All I can do is go out... I don't know I don't enjoy it that I can't automate my life as much as I seriously had the opportunity for it. I'll stop for now. I am to tired & don't know what to reflect upon. I lost a lot of internal strength & courage & edge I don't know what now is there is only patience & wisdom. That wisdom is manifesting itself also more.

Also the energy current of Andrew Tate & internet macho men fked me up, some serious and vulnerable & authentic relationships where strength was build on thee foundations more & depth of connection especially knowledge & wisdom & not power. I simply don't have the space & energy to enjoy being juvenile & acting out some karma I burnt so much fking karma through exercise, especially sex wise & my drive is already very high. I just notice there are more good things, yet I don't feel this push, yet this push made me partially toxic. I have issues with boredom as boredom ppl = slow = stupid partially at times & sojourning there usually brings frustration ~ solution ~ fun. So I dunno I feel like this Online-Dating crap and the nature of how useless introverts are when it comes to dating as they are like small goblins. ? Or zombies who can't create a community & just hide in their small tribe. I barely meet ppl that way etc... What a true issue is is simply how much happiness is gone from me & how this is the biggest sefl-sabotage point sport & exercise being diminished to yeah... Smith called I dunno preventative fitness care with a risk deeper injury. Uhm ..

The funniest thing is online-dating all that counts is money & status & creativity for some good er stuff, But yeah maybe dating 100k insta model & real model only sharing here... also has issues, yet doubt she began healing. Also serious so I dunno never meet s1 the normal girls are so normal I don't enjoy dating them. The healthy people have it the easiest by far. Yet yeah I dunno. Was a lot of input & I dunno. I don't care tbh. There is also authenticity dance girl who likes hip-hop & asked me to walk her dog that'll be cool. Very tricky business her. Money & status frames are very heavy in online-dating. It's also part of this region. Otherwise acting from wisdom is just difficult at this point I lost my drive and edge it's to many subtle pains & I dove into it. It burns me out. So I can't exhaust stage orange as well anymore and achieve en masse. I am extremely happy playing video games I dunno why, I find it also difficult due to exercise & sports being the biggest inner child activity besides gaming & cycling & learning... Also, the Turkish people & girls can have hella bias here. I struggle a bit with the attitude of German academia it has become ever more blue in a green fashion, especially considering how racist beauty is & how different that is from sex&sexiness as perception, especially with foreigners. With only Germans it's not as bad and has not been as bad, yet with some foreigners & ethnicities it can turn very very ugly. Sent her also a very long voice mail girls have such a wrong opinion about me, yet it's not easy currently leading being so injured it's like I am spacing out to not feel as stressed at times & knowing me the typical mistakes I do etc. & reflecting on that.... like not asking for recommendations & brief moments to look, prep stuff etc. Like these tiny things are what block my fast decision making process. I think also German Marketing killed my dating success as it makes brown typisch men the feelers & emotional a lot it fucks results seriously, then I get also this it attracts partially people who have issues as this is what happens with empathy. Also, again due to health being taken away thee good side of this does not shine as much. I could make myself look a bit more cool etc. I just don't know what to do health wise I feel I can't live normally healthy & I don't know how to get girls now thanks to this . It's like I attracted broken holism & fine green blueprint & half of my shadow. These 3 girls are currently there. I feel also due to cleanliness that girls at times could shy away, yet I need a different Appartement this one is a bit nasty to clean at times & I simply don't enjoy it I burn out doing so much work in a sense as I don't like it. It's not as kathartic as for others etc. A bit of chaos does feel healthy to me as I have to use my brain. I cooked also today something very tasty & I'll try it again tomorrow/today. Procrastinated on mathematics... Not easy to get into the deep shit of my lp due to nerd type bullying that evokes the sickest & nastiest of thoughts. The issue of compassion also.... Otherwise I am craving a lot of sensual pleasure that exercise usually gave me. My life is not the same anymore.

To be a sage might be a very good vision to have etc. I'd like to break more connection and foster deeper cultivative connections.

As wisdom is my new value I'll contemplate this, this was also a way to riches somehow for me, it's a very weird irony in a sense, meanawhile I am sojourning somewhere sometime etc. I thought about the issue of my physical injury and happiness. There is some slight positive things, yet the gym is a real issue it's not as freeing anymore. Yoga & Stretching and some other form of exercise would be great. I don't think also I can be as happy anymore it's a weird admittance I'll have to make.

Let's hopefully see how fast it goes. It's like the universe testing you are you intelligent enough to realize you need a more conscious enviroment? Talked today, to the friend seems like he's more open to the possibility of getting laid & gaming girls the conscious way, even though there will be shadow's yet you'll most likely see the work end up here, ultimately I cared a lot like a lot about this. One other thing is we ate hotpot & the whole organisation thing and socializing is like a reward itself. As a child I used to talk like a waterfall my mother used to say & yeah I'll most likely get some drinks with the more conscious girl who seems to have a deep intuition about love, surrender and intimacy.

20 min session: I am grateful for more conscious art girls liking me I am grateful to fully integrate shadow elements consciously & unconsciously I am grateful for more success & more money as well as the direct manfistation of that and the direct chance of acquiring it and having it, as well as the deeper opportunities I am grateful to be and enact more social tendencies of mine & to not engage it toxic behaviour and see frustration as a learning experience & suffering as a learning experience more than before I am grateful for the new company and all stakeholders and that I could potentially do my masters with them I am grateful for every conscious non-toxic, deep and romantic moment!

Confused a.f model type girl who can surrender and is into love & intimacy is openly direct from TIER 2, TIER 1 that thinks it's TIER-2 is subtely ray ray due to trauma and in denial about it & projects it and causes trigger & expresses it in profile. Odd, interesting observation that I vibe better with girls who like art, than girls who like culture. As culture has a more heavy ego stigma. It's like my self-love mantra comes back at me & my shadow comes back at me. At the sametime!? The irony is my intention also worked & synchrodestiny type stuff, it's also an upgrade to begin made fun of from the street dog girl. The journey of dating & the irony of destiny is the irony of destiny. I should believe in it more maybe, it's also a weird thing that helps me to pair-bond with blonde people I dunno sharing odd observations.

It will generally speaking become an art form to be more like this. This is the challenge that I am seeking again a streamlined existence etc. and improving skills seeing value in the frustration & agony & that problems resolve themselves.

Streaming might also help my social skills if there are really no options. Also the contraction meditation helps immensely to digest negative feedback and create the neutral line I create the whole time through mindfulness meditation etc.

is the emotional control I am gaining & coordination that I am doing a part of social skill? I am going to execute on this simply & get into the groove of beign more social again, even if that includes apologizing etc. Also some have been very rude to me subtely, this is why I still appreciate Leo & Owen in a sense. Even when I am an ass they sort of steal treat me as a human in development & I do the same with them etc. etc. etc.

Also the point about beign popular me organizing doing all the planning was me becoming popular this wisdom is something I completely neglected, also streaming would help me with social skills immensely, as I'd be auto attuned to social cues & behaviour of beign watched by others etc. I also don't know if I should use OnlyFans at times to at least get in contact with extremely hot girls and see how their mind works, just to get a picture of this social skill. I also like how he was like the universe will give you exactly what you need having social options is one fun thing to do. Yet I dunno how to deal currently with this more intutively, as I don't make it my main vocal point. It's more something I'd like to consciously pay more attention to as it happens and take direct action, here. For example is eating with a friend a training in social skill?

So far this was the interesting due to the fact that socialization is a skill & I've experienced different forms of it, also becoming better socially there are different tool kits that do help from beign home & alone. Also beign introverted and such I'd have to see where & how I'd get my level of happiness etc. Also enjoying video games and such etc. I feel I am also close to selling & reaping the rewards of all the work and subtle visualizations that I've did owen, I'd also like to build some level of community or consistent socialization option, there is a point about deep skill & beign social like an actor or model has some level of deep skill & hence also get's unique social training that is authentic while a promotor or club promotor has to do a very wild and organic process, the other one is more structured and organic for example. My entire clientel would also be different as these are tech guys etc & I forgot usually how suffering can teach us a lot, yet the pain ridden immaturity of glee is one thing that held me back from diving deeper into it, as I noticed these people don't have attainments but serious trauma etc. Also the spiritual lifestyle can be highly social. I could still build the vision of doing what I yearned to do. I'd also love to befriend high stakeholder friends with deep skill, there are some qualms I'd can learn for example let's say I would meet Leo and there is this part of me that sort of is very enthusiastic and innocent, yet then I notice how I barely know the guy & when I am more real I notice wow I am the one more dominante for example and stronger & at best we focus on creating love. This is sort of the friendship dynamic I envision with other friends it's similar, also deep friendships are super rare. The setup I have for the social cricle gives me the perfect room for innocent exploring etc. I could also do psychdelics in a social field as I learn a lot of vibe type insights that are insane! This gives me a huge boost to build sort of a community & my own place to be with people at times. Yet, I have to get used to the single-minded goal setting and principles here first. Meditation and exercise has been the core pillars of my success and skill has been the best way to get more social opportunities. Right now I would also like to take the social skill of "bars & clubs" to a more IT centric world, where I feel this is all practiced more safely, without wild cult dynamics, as there is a strong baseline of orange moral code. It is like generating systematic options, which I have now I am even in the public line of IT so hence the most social. I would really like to market myself better, yet the exercise point is oddly hitting back currently.

I could ask also a photographer for a favour when I take new pictures for this modeling stuff. I enjoy photography art & also this vintage style etc. Is simply very erotic. THE GUY IS PERFECT MAN THIS IMPRESSIONS OF ROMANCE ARE SO OVER THE TOP. Also this is sort of the point that I went through in my life recently, that I was so much in my head when I worked on my career when I went out, & meditation & exercise was the best way to still let go it's immense how quickly you get out of this toxic energy & can talk to people. I just never approached and seem to hone into this dark drive % edge also. I also was always semi-popular that is the odd space. Also Germany is extremely survival oriented. It's insane level of subtle materalism. The coolness was not of use when I did not provide that is the point & also I had issues with what people enjoy I could get better at enjoying contemporary culture etc.

Wrote it down, keeping in mind principles of not sharing & identity shifts and intrinsic motivation how much is internal at times wonders me, also to keep my phone out of reach & schedule time slots etc. Also to keep using different verbs, when I write this it it, or this is fundamentally it, there is an empty abundant frustration behind it. Also all of the subtle planning etc. The shadow work will also make for one of the weirdest changes. I seem to match also more stable girls, I wonder what will happen if I get the new ball rolling and the old good work is put back into it's place what will happen to me success wise. I'll never ever tell my goals again, directly without consciously doing so. The point is this became such a normal part of sharing it is odd and I'd have to see how I engage in this. After having this I'd work on some social challenge & one goal in that sense. So, I'll work more structurally. I took away the LP stuff & see how much natural. The girl that liked me 100% worked as a model that opposite of bitter liberal is insane. I dunno at times. It's like liberals became the pragmatic boomers of their parents they have been meming about briefly watching this. Briefly watching this.

The coin flip about random reward is extremely good. Also the point when I understand correctly to do the negative visualization for a couple of minutes, also coupled with the wisdom of subjective feelings of recalling positive past events, like evidence is extremely interesting to look at with intentions. In that sense recalling success is fantastic. Also to much negative visulization seems not to good. Also to simply do it and not to outsource it to meditation & intuition etc. & also only setting one goal, the rest are duties sort of etc. Also especially focusing on this & the naturalness of meditation. Also to review randomly the post-its etc. and to not have it in one place is important. To switch around art in that sense.

Going to listen to this, this is new the current practical orange is way to shitted with stuff, as 12 week cycle makes a lot more sense, also the long-term stuff & generally my results if it was in the range of 90 days it was 100% more effective etc. I find many stage orange marketers and stuff tell a lot of b.s I hope this get's more insight. I'll skip my meditation session & most likely do this and eventually tear down the goal section of the LP it's miss leading, and I'll completely deconstruct the LP course I don't think it is as good as it claims itself to be, there is a lot of science that has counter-evidence and a heavy bias towards survival of the bias etc. For example talent & hard-work etc. I also generally speaking had the best results doing 90 days cycles with less effort etc. etc. etc. etc. It's also the whole scam of stage orange business and abusing the good will of people .... Mostly. Real-time note-taking: The post-it bias of variety is so freaking true, it never fking worked. LEO IS CORRECT KEEP THE GOAL TO MYSELF & DON'T TELL THE WORLD..... IS THE MOST TRUE SHIT I LOVED THIS SO MUCH.... ALSO ANONYMOUSLY SHARING IS SO FKING GOOD YOU'D not believe it. PEOPLE BECAME SO CURIOSU ABOUT THIS ESPECIALLY MANIPULATIVE 4w5's I am not going to tell it simply anymore NOT EVER This is so good for all the miss-clarification and sort of novel experiments I did with visualizations etc. It's also so good to let go & simply do etc. Also a 90 day financial goal feels also so real to do it & Then you an take a 10 day break or 14 day break. etc. I am so hyped about this information dude I was training for fking triathlons .... also helps me to keep this gaming cycle in tact, I feel like my basal ganglia this do & w/e shit is so involved in this. 90 day bursts are also so effective. There are so many myths. Like how heavily sprinting improved my abillity to do endurance training was immense etc. I'd like to have one cardio day also, it feels so glorious to do cardio etc, yet for now I just listen to this all the structures I created can partially be taken down & used more effectively, especially I was very good on measureable goals & I feel people got offended due to this quantiative drive, as they feel judge & are insecure about this, especially american culture. In europe people take this more seriously & there is a certain level of pride & love for this. I dunno. This helps also with the ideas from ChatGPT like doing a 90 day theme based specific measureable goal setting plan & executing on it not telling anyone & doing this deeply and intuitively I engraved so many healthy cue's the point is yeah I dunno the craving for novelty and variety at times is very real. I'll review the financial advise also with this, biology = survival is still immensely important to me, yet it's difficult to speak with anyone about this.

The issue I find between sort of the provider trajectory & the player trajectory they are so good at stage red beign playful & manipulation, they just turn on the lust button in girls. It's like girls get the feeling of OMFG a wild horse I'd like to ride it!!! In very simple terms etc. The irony is with trump it's about power and with andrew tate it's about control. If I could do that in the way I did it .... I would get such hot & crazy girls it would really help my stage red stuff, yet if I live conscious like my self-care routine would take 3h or so it's so annoying. Seeing Andrew Tate I'd be more interested in hacking and cyber security as the guy is simply black. Anything else? I could make the effort the create a new vision board and art, when I have a little more money in my room & buy a book about art history I'll will not take classes, I believe still original analysis is one of my strengths secretly. It would be obviously smart to hop on cryto & general grey zone invented hyper trains very very early, as people have the tendency to buy hope no matter what. ' It also shows why the family is so powerful generally speaking, as they'd keep you busy not worrying about andrew tate. The issue is with such charmers, personally I never feel bad watching him & I learn the toxic stuff & girls respond to this, I dunno either you have massive desire&sex type experience and can lure girls that way etc. I might still read this book & take notes to deal with this worldview I bet these are at least 200-300 million people would subsrcibe globally to this and also ironically a lot of girls also not knowingly. It's like gen z's issue of unhealthy stage blue, and gen-y's issue of uncertaintiy and baby boomer families beign torn due to rampant individualism also from gen-x'ers my mother is a baby boomer she had me with 31& 1/2 which is interesting in itself. I am not even that old. I would make twice the money as her and 5x to 6x in america. She still became very mature especially in her 40's that was insane to me. I did not have that level of maturity. I have it now tbh, as I just went there, yet I also became more mature in a sense. She still has issues with money where my father is correct & this is the sort of rampant online & andrew tate culture. This is why the rave will calm most people I believe. I also thought about how I did not fully enjoy my 20's & I hope I can do some stuff this year even solo with a camera etc. There are other ideas & projects etc. Like grow one cannabis plant in my life, get more plants, get more efficiency in cleaning, buy plants that keep spiders out by smell etc. Some subtle stuff I am not going to mention. Buy a very high-end gaming pc, my apm is to high generally speaking to not benefit from this & then be in more pleasured order like the guys who have rotations & get more into the player zone also there is not much you can do & girls crave the wild horse & to tame it etc. I've read some interesting stuff on a website about this personality analysis and beign open-minded = rebel tendencies & beign on the edge etc. Also what type of girls exist & what people told me etc. & notions generally speaking of sexual interest I am not quiet mentioning now, yet it's odd. Also there are more girls who like gaming & art, and some good friendships of mine came through gaming as fully beign at an elite level in any sports with this injury is just difficult. This is also why I appreciate Joe Rogan the guy has a level of fairness & interest in depth that is surreal. Way better man also than Andrew Tate. I could also not live that wildly and animalistical & primal as much & enjoy it anymore, although I was on that way. I would love to hunt my own meat in a sense & all of these drives are close to gone.

I am awake I thought about how doing online-dating similar to game for 1h per day, is better planned & associated time to learn & eventually to 2h or so to get feedback on the weekend and see it as training. 1h per day is also very very serious, so I better prepare myself with new pictures etc & bring more examples & buy a few clothes. Otherwise I am fully invested in my social circle & meditation at best, also my reading etc. Right now I am considering how to go about my career & make all of these stable. The desire to drink coffee with cineamon & eventually a few glasses of wine, as I have a strong appetite for sensory pleasure, I saw this also with a 60-70 year old nun at the zen monastary, it's not that easy and she was working extremely hard in contrast to others, yet also in her work she seemed the most conscious in contrast, and best suited to deal with lower consciounes ego's I was put into that group somehow, it was simply also the value of knowledge that felt so egoic. For now I believe I am clean af, I just really would like to upgrade my socials, I could also finally buy a camera with my new income to learn to take some picturs & open up a photography thingy & explore the city take pictures & take pictures of food etc. That'll help to get back into art drives & would be a holistic reward for me that also takes action, I also thought about learning about investing again properly. I did not see the Andrew Tate stuff, I am sort of implenting the shadow issue of this subtely, as it's simply out of control beign in control exercising power out of control & then you call this order. Although the bbc video I'll watch. I don't go out so it's not that interesting.

It's also odd having naturally do none of this and die to injury having to 16x the effort. It's so dumb you'd not believe it. I can't really go after my vision and me sort of new vision depends heavily on a functional community & close people I can trust and rings of trust so to speak. It's odd that all my energy sort of has to be intellectual & spiritual emotional & not physical anymore. I also feel due to being mixed and light-skinned I am appreciated less & looked at twice and checked and I am so white again... just turning my arm it'll be whiter than your pink arm. I find it difficult to find enjoyment in this, especially not with a supportive social circle that is more PvE let's say. Instead of pvp friend groups. I do have some higher desires, yet I notice how strongly my upbringing was against status. Single motherhood brainwashing is by far one of the worst. Yet what is even worse is current day modern women mostly being exploitative maximizers. It's extremely superficial, yet they are all in apps. Also if fling global warming vet's serious and it rained all summer, last summer was not so luckily... How do I even meet girls? For me the issue is more of being well-recognized and having options. That I can't fully put in my name due to injury bothers me the most. I am severely limited & I dunno having higher consciousness networks is one of the most enjoyable things I've witnessed and always enjoy witnessing. Solo depth does not triumph all depth in that sense and multiple depth. I find it also tricks to... Forgoe ...?? My needs and craft a new lifestyle & vision it's simply not possible. It sucks having these years being. Taken from you and steadily seeing signs from the universe so to speak ... I'll hope cannabis will do me some good if it becomes legal here. It's extremely bad to enjoy life with having any access to things that deepen life and experience etc. But yeah ai dunno I am out. Inner motivation is almost gone. I find it difficult to maintainhypes etc. currently also the family privilege is unreal, especially injured.

Downloaded Tinder again out of boredom and checked another forum... not a single analysis I did not run, 10k for coaching is also an insane price, yet people showed their real faces & profiles mostly and there are plenty of free goodies. Even with the principles I need some text game help to many girls deleted me & I don't seem to leave a mark. Leo also bets so much on theory and being introverted I'd wonder how much theory is best for me it is good to just have a social network & circle to interact with. Yeah I dunno the issue with human life and boredom is immense in a sense, meditating hardcore & such helps the most to deal with this. My issue simply is getting laid there are plenty of people have as good looking getting less laid & I just care about one deeper connection... I could for sure be .... Stage chasing .... With multiple girls etc.... as there is value to this. Though I dunno having one depth of partner and to explore with her would be best besides if I'd have a sx/so type that could handle a poly, due to their lvl of depth & intensity they bring in 1o1 they help both tremendously and they seem to me generally pretty social just depth addicted in a sense.buf yeah I drank a lot & I am out for now

A bit absurd, yet it's crazy seeing this footage, and seeing the subtle context of introvert & extrovert etc.

Also considering my knee cannabis is just better... way better... to trip on LSD for fun .... yeah a more healthy body would function way better cannabis does not work that way somehow. The irony of this is I walk outside and I smell cannabis so loud it's incredible. I bought a bottle of wine that tastes like metal, also german parties are quite lame. I'd really would like to build my own isolated place. Like a castle, yet sort of andrew fuck face ruined the idea of a lord so much, it became gay to me.

It is odd contemplating sobriety, especially given 7's type of context, and how well alcohol deals with subtle forms of shame and inhibiton. Anyway my knee does not do well on this I notice, the irony is cannabis will be legalized, so I dunno what to think at times, as far as I know. So I dunno. I hope the girl will come to me at one point. his mix is older, yet still extremely god. Calling it a year old feels worse imo. Cannabis will be highly interesting, I don't think it has as much merit as people believe it has, it only has merit to deal with stage red drives which are running rampage already to some extend, especially shadow wise etc. & a better expression possibly etc. As a lot of it has to deal with power & control imo.