ValiantSalvatore

@starsofclay I don't know if you meditate I used to smoke cigarettes and stopped(read a book + meditation helped me a lot to overcome addictive tendencies, I rarely play video games , rarely drink coffee , only internet is the "realest" addiction that I have) completely and before that stopped smoking weed. I did not smoke weed for about 2 and a half years. And I want to try it out again. I was in a similar state I always wanted to do it since I was bored and had nothing else to do. I don't know about you because you are doing something productive with it.@starsofclay @pluto Do you know somehow/someway how ancient civilizations used it ? @pluto I remember that I felt my body or just pain in my body quite intensely when I used to smoke. It felt like I took everything more personal- How did it help you personally ?

Who would be a great example for a person who has high consciousness and is also successful in terms of what the "real" world thinks success is? I can just imagine authors, writers or musicians someone who has the privilege of a lot of free time. Personally, the best example would be Eckhart Tolle for me or Deepak Chopra. I don't quite understand how being successful in life cannot be combined with a spiritual lifestyle only in terms of time available for a spiritual pursuit. I think it could slow the process of spiritual development down, yet also fuel it to a degree (living in a monastery or so is still way more effective). Are there also some people who realize that striving for success is just another illusion and they continue their business out of compassion or they just simply enjoy doing it? I bet there are even if they are rare. I cannot come up with a decent example. I googled and found this on Quora: (only read the first comment ) https://www.quora.com/Can-an-enlightened-being-become-successful-in-business

Hey, I just wanted to ask for some feedback on my practice and some insights on experience I had during the last two years and what they mean. I am doing Shinzen Youngs technique of See, Hear , Feel of course not perfectly. I just do see in , see out , hear in , hear out , feel in and feel out. For those familiar, I am not using note gone or somehow experiencing flow not sure how I can do that. Gone works yet I keep forgetting. For anyone interested here is a link to the practice, http://www.shinzen.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/SeeHearFeelIntroduction_ver1.8.pdf I am doing this now for 8 months or 10, not sure and before that, I was just experimenting around with various meditation techniques for a couple of months. Like just breathing /counting breath , do nothing , who am I , body scanning and maybe some others. For one time I was just starting at a cup asking who is the perceiver, who perceives this thought, who is that etc . Had a couple of non-relevant insights at least they did not seem to change anything externally maybe internally. For like 1 h and then went to work in a foreign country this was the heaviest load of cognitive dissonance I ever had lol. So, while traveling I had a strange state of "being" I was buying food at a shop and seat on a bench in the shop.While sitting down I just noticed a quite strong feeling of balance and equanimity. I was just so content with being at that place at that time or rather just doing something simple, like eating. I remembered during that time I was listening to Sam Harris - Waking up and there was a story of a girl who has been announced enlightened by one meditation teacher there. And she apparently was so blissed out and had no thoughts, yet during some occasion, she joined them traveling and they were sitting in a plane (Sam + other travelers + the enlightened woman) and one of them asked her if she really is so blissed out and asked her when was the last thought she had. She started to "think" and said hm I don't let me see, "oh this could be a thought " + " and this " + " and this" etc. etc. I don't remember what the Author said after that or what was the "moral of the story". To get back to the experience I remembered that story and immediately checked if there are thoughts and of course there were thoughts, yet still, there was this underlying feeling of equanimity and balance. Which held on for like 30 min or so, slowly disappearing. Another experience I had was Piti I believe it is called it felt like parts of my body are growing and it was very pleasant. Another experience was that I felt a vortex for a couple of seconds in my body, Can't really tell what that was but it was weird. And one time I actually felt like there was no self while doing nothing everything just disappeared for a couple of seconds this was at the beginning of my journey. Ok, so I don't know how relevant or useful this is for you guys and girls. Yet, if I could receive some feedback this would be quite nice. I am being very egotistical at the moment and it actually does not feel bad. Ego is supposed to be neither good or bad just ego. So, I guess I am maturing since I don't see things as black and white anymore? Also how to go deeper into the practice besides doing a retreat ( which would be optimal) or meditating longer ( yes does not guarantee that it will go deeper ) while meditating for one hour ?

@Spacious Yes, I have one. I used it quite often, yet now only once a week. Or whenever I feel the need to write smth. down. I bought a journal since I started meditation approximately and I used it consistently since then. I do some exercises out of books and shadow work once a week in the journal now.

Hello, I watched most of Leo's videos on how to stop judging yourself and how to stop comparing yourself to others. Are there any other techniques besides naming every negative judgment and positive judgment one had about others and self and upgrading your life? I am doing shadow work for about 3-4 month or 2-3 now and you automatically notice how you judge yourself or others doing the so called 3-2-1 process, which just shows you that, there are very subtle ways in which you judge others and yourself, and also how you create your self-image based on thoughts and emotions you identify with. For example, I used to be to and still am to a degree a person who idealizes one person but only in the context of "relationships" like she is the one, I only want her etc. This has drastically changed now and I can see how I am more nonchalant around the girls I idealized and other girls. It feels just freaking awesome since I am free of a concept most of the time and just more authentic. Just makes the interaction with the other person more enjoyable. I am also doing the unified mindfulness techniques from Shinzen Young hope this is the correct name (for the technique) and I participate in the Life Practice program. Unified mindfulness is basically mindfulness meditation with labeling if I am not mistaking. You just notice your thoughts, emotions, surroundings, feelings. Like you label your thoughts and when a thought pops up you say hear in. Then you label your feelings you have a strong emotion feel in, or you start to notice the darkness while your eyes are closed you label it see in. What I want to say here is that these techniques are quite effective in realizing how much you judge things and how to a degree judgment just occurs or is perpetuated by your mind and how you are able to notice it and stop the judgment immediately or rather take a break from it. Are there any techniques around there like visualizing or programming the subconscious on how to stop judging other people,? I feel I would benefit a lot from that. Since people around my age (early 20's) seem to be oblivious to the fact how much judgment and concepts they maintain about themselves and I can see that it is a fallacy and that I am somehow just very different from others. Still, this is a concept and if I go on it just would be a vicious circle and somehow someway I am holding myself back. Currently, I try to upgrade my confidence with one technique but I can't tell you much since I am just doing it for 4 days or so.

@Loreena Would love to talk about it and responding to your text fully, would take forever and exams are right around the corner and also doing some other stuff which consumes time. Feels like I am reverting back to stage orange, at least I am aware of it. ( And yes that is possible )

@egoeimai Easier said than done. Would love to and I am doing it to a degree where I can "observe" "judge" "compare" however you want to say that, that I am doing it not as often as others and I can tell when I am judging or others are judging. I like what Eckhart Tolle said about that. The real meaning of judgment is when you confuse the judgment with the identity of the other person. This not exactly what he said yet get's the point across. So, I can tell that I am at a point where I can tell it is a concept, yet this is very very subtle. I don't know how much judgment you faced in your life. I had to endure a lot in an ethnocentric community as a half white and black person. That's putting it nicely. (hope the terms I used are correct English is not my mother tongue)

@Erlend K Thanks, I will try meta meditation. I tried tonglen for a while which if I remember correctly was quite similar? Not sure,never mind thanks! I will try that.

@Nahm What would be a technique for cultivating self-love that you do? I am really looking for something specific and pragmatic, words won't help or a different perspective, sure it could but I would like to do something that will yield long-term results besides meditation. I read a decent amount of books and audiobooks about happiness and spirituality. And I am currently listening to Peter Ralston a book called "book of not knowing" which talks in chapter 14 about the process of identification and has very similar to the video of how to stop judgment from Leo. I just wanted to know what techniques are out there for helping to reduce judgment? Is cultivating self-love a good option? Boosting self-esteem? For instance, exercising is out of the option at the moment. Since my knee is still hurt I can do a little bit of running and train my body. Yet, soccer or anything fast paced is not possible. If that would be an option to reduce judgment.

Tbh, don't overcomplicate things. Balance is key here. If you think you are addicted to music turn of the radio while you are driving and listen to the sounds of your car, street and if you are lucky nature. That is a good test. Or don't use your headphones while walking, if you normally listen to music that way.

Hey, not sure if there has been a post like this before. How does an productive day look like for you ? Currently, I am studying and I am always scheduling my week in advance, each saturday or sunday. So, for example a typical Tuesday would look like this: wake up 6am take a shower and meditate till aprox. 7:30 - 45 (depending on how long I stay in bed ) breakfast before 8:00 lectures from 8:00 to 11:15 grab some food in the cafeteria relax till 12:30 or 13:00 Studying from 13:00 till 18:00 , different subject 45 min after 1 hour and 30 minutes take a break for 15 to 30 min. Grab food in between 18:00 relax , chat , etc 19:00 workout till 20:00 Shower grab some food or make some. 20:30 45 min learning chinese After that read and try to go to bed by 22:00. Yet, time-wise you can see that I am not capeable of sticking to the schedule 100%. Sometimes, I just get distracted for 15 mins and that for like 4- 6 times a day browsing the web, I hate this yet I also feel I need it as an extra break. Am I doing to much or is this just fine ? Ofc, I am not always working out and sometimes I have to do groupwork for some lectures, so that mostly takes the whole day since the other people don't do anything in advance and I also am not doing anything in advance. Nvm the last part. Curious to see how other people here structure their day, especially with a job. During internships I had trouble keeping up with hobbies like learning chinese under the week, since I was so worn out, from the whole day. Note: It is 22:48 here in germany.

Wow , this looks though. But you don't work Sundays and Saturdays do you ?

Hello, I was thinking about how to rate oneself on the integral map. I watched one of Leo's videos, where he mentioned it shortly I believe and that one is not completely on one level. For instance, people are on different levels:"30% green, 40 % rational , 20 % ethnocentric, 10% red/etc". I also listened to the audio book "Kosmic Consciousness " where Ken Wilber and the founder from "Sounds True" talk about pretty much everything. When I remember correctly Wilber said that you can only see the previous stage when you arrive at the higher one, going to say it like this. So, therefore I wanted to ask if anyone is familiar with the integral map or actually is at an integral level of moral development or cognitive for example. Not, sure if this is the right place. And could tell some signs or observations they make. For example, I can tell when people are on an ethnocentric level and I can see people on the pluralistic level and even have some friends, but sometimes I am not sure if I can see people who are at an orange level I can see people who are really driven and want to make money or get that beautiful wife, basically be ultra successful and yeah playing the game to win. I don't think I am integral sometimes I do but ehh I'd rather be observant to really see where I am at. Here is a pretty good description, for anyone interested or new to this: https://integralwithoutborders.net/sites/default/files/resources/Overview of Developmental Levels.pdf and also the map: (First links description is waaay better)

@LowPlanetary I can relate to that. When I do sports I sometimes get into the mode of no regard for human life and just feel and seem very cold blooded when people get worked up about little things. Ofc, not all of the time but sometimes I would not care if someones breaks his leg or smth. in that moment of anger, yet sometimes it also feels like silent/quiet confidence you just do and don't care about the results. So, in that case, it would be difficult to judge for me which level that is, but for the anger one, I think it is clearly red.

@khalifa Thanks, this is great. I remember that Ken Wilber talked in the audiobook I mentioned, about how long it takes fo an individual to reach the next stage. Normally he says they somehow stop reaching the next stage/s at the age of 26/ 27 and he can't find out why and that annoys him. Yet, he said when you let people meditate for about an hour every day, every 5 years they will reach a new stage. Also, this has a cap but people can go deeper in that level. ( Don't remember context, for instance, cognitive , moral yet I believe it was moral etc. ) Also, some people may do not have the capacity to reach higher stages yet, at each stage you can experience enlightenment for example. The experience differs, yet they are still enlightened. For example, in Japan, they trained Samurais in Zen monasteries and they were supposed to kill the enemy. Which would be a classic us vs them mentality, meaning the were at an ethnocentric level of moral development. And you can imagine if they trained there, they were pretty close to enlightenment or enlightened.

Hey, I've been meditating for sometime now and wanted to ask. How did meditation impact your relationships ? Especially, when you are in a relationship currently and have taken up the practice while you are in that relationship. ( Pls correct the sentence if it is wrong lol). How did the dynamic of the relationship change ? Did your partner also pick up the practice ? Also, for singles how do you feel your relationships towards your friends have changed ? Is it better ? Or do you notice that you are growing more apart since you are interested (assuming you are since we are on this forum) in self-improvement/actualization. Has anything gotten worse ? Also, what are the reasons that meditation improves relationships ? What is the connection there? For me it is the "classic" being more attentive to other people , yet I notice that I like to tease other peoples ego my friends definitely do not like that . Thats something I have never done before I started to meditate.

The title might be slightly inaccurate. I just wanted to hear some different perspectives on this situation. I will keep this short. I meet someone in a bar she asked me for my number. She was slightly intoxicated I did not want to drink alcohol during this time. So, kept a clear head and just observed what was going on all around. She was very nice had a few cocktails we chatted she gave me her number or rather asked if she could have mine not sure anymore. Happened last year almost two. We chat during the time I traveled (also before and after...) and she got interested asked me to meet. I was just looking for a friend since I don't have a lot of female friends and wanted simply just to have more female friends. So, in retrospect, I was quite detached of the outcome even though sometimes not, since this was the only girl who I was chatting with. Ok, so meet a different girl during traveling awesome personality very similar also a lot of intriguing differences. Went out a lot as friends since this was in China and we both come from the same country. Visited her in the country she is studying now and had a great time there. Now, I asked the girl from china if we can meet she has no time. Exams etc and was hella needy since I like her a lot and asked her to join me and friends for a vacation trip, but she works during this time + some other stuff and rather wanted to stay at home with the family. The other girl wants/ed to meet now and I will definitely meet her to see what she is like and possibly stay friends because this is actually what I wanted in the first place. Maybe I am weird on this. Ok, so I will get to the point. Important note: first the girl kind of agreed to join but then basically said no. I really liked the Alan Watts and in one of his audiobooks, he talks about thinking things right through... kinda funny saying this now. So, I try to think of all variables that can influence a relationship especially parts about myself and here is the part where we go into self-actualization. Also, I write these things down in my journal and actually really think a lot about how things would turn out with a person, it would not change if there were more girls who I am dating. Of course, I would only do this for the women I am interested in. I don't know what to think of this reading over this, I imagine people saying why did you no go for her when you like her and visited her? Or you are being way too needy and should meet a lot more girls. Or simply be happy to meet the other girl ( maybe not on this forum). I will definitely agree on being too needy. I was not going for her because first I had that thought of being too needy. Second, we both are quite young and don't really know what we want or rather would like to options or focus on something more or less important like studies or friendships or simply hobbies and goals. When I "think things through," I think that the girl from china could really be one person I would enjoy spending a lot of time with in a relationship. But, I also like this point of view from Alan Watts again if you know how things would end what surprise what be there in the end? And I kept thinking about this and though even when I think about all variables political views, views on god, status, ethnicity, interests and hobbies etc etc. I would never know what will happen with any of the girls I would meet in the future , yet I have to say you can get a good glimpse of the ups and downs with that particular person. What would you do in this situation? Focus on reading, studies, and hobbies? Or focus on relationships solely and try to get a girlfriend? I seem way to needy. But, I always have this in the back of my mind so, I am aware of boundaries and even though it might sound weird are in some way detached or another. There is way more I would like to write but I think this is a good overview of the situation. Any thoughts are appreciated, critique valued and respected. Tbh, I think I will just focus on studies and travel to get new perspectives and try to keep in touch with both of them ideally with one as girlfriend sooner or later and the other one as a friend... you can guess who. Also, if this should not happen it's hella fine even though it hurts and this would be the part where I would talk about unconditional love, but talking about it wouldn't make any difference if it is existent in my life or not. I am just an idealistic idiot so yeah.

@Bodhi123 Ok, I got obsessed with a detail again. Thanks, this is great to know. I was moving already into the direction of being aligned with my values, yet I will fall off track most likely often as it has happened before yet this is good to refine the process. Still have a long way to go.

Yesterday I watched Leo's video where he reveals his life purpose and it got me motivated to refine mine. So, I sat down for about 2 - 3 hours with Leo's video in the background and searched for ways how to write a better vision for life. ( I will not call it life purpose at least for me it is a vision of how I want to live). I was quite skeptical if writing a vision will really help me to accomplish my goals and yes I write my goals down, yet I am not reviewing them as meticulously as I could or should. I journaled a lot the last two years and so I also thought this will be a bit easier since I tend to keep thinking about this stuff quite often. Took me 2h to get moving to write and about 45 min to write the vision. I see people creating a vision board, so I searched for any scientific evidence that this stuff works and found something to the contrary. That a vision board could be detrimental or rather only focusing on the big picture and to not visualize the behaviors, actions, and processes that can make your vision happen. I took the advice from the article and tried to combine both. into my vision the big picture and the detailed steps to achieve the goals. How often do you guys think on should look and read his life purpose to stay on track? What did work and did not work for you while following your vision what were the things that had been detrimental to achieving your vision? Was it the way you wrote down your vision? Consistency ? Not reviewing goals? Having too high expectations? Last two years I wrote 2 or 3 what will I do in 5 years "vision" that approximately have been the same on paper. I still feel that I am moving closer to it but I also can sense that somehow things can go wrong and that I have not been able to fully achieve what I have written down. So.. what are your thoughts on even creating a vision and not fully achieving it did it help to get closer? What could you have done better ? etc etc Don't know if links are allowed on this forum. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/create-a-vision-for-the-life-you-want.html https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-blame-game/201205/throw-away-your-vision-board-0

Hey, is anyone familiar with shadow work ? I am currently doing the 3-2-1 Process and I am not sure how often I should do it each week. What are you experiences with shadow work and what kind of other process are there to do shadow work ?

There are a few people I notice who definitely (of course you can never tell 100% ) do not know a lot or even anything about self-actualization in combination with spiritual growth or working toward enlightenment. Why do some of them seem to grow so fast without all of this information ? Or am I just being delusional . I get this feeling everytime I believe to see people who are working on their interpretation of self-actualization without meditation or any form of contemplation. That they just deny that part of "themselves". And are completly ignoring that feeling and going immediately back to their way of conducting thier lives which has been imposed upon them by society , parents , themselves etc.. So, this is probably a petty ego reaction still (from me ) but why do these people grow or seem to grow faster than me ? And why is it so difficult to meet people who are either unconsciously or consciously on the same path. I've meet people who are geniuently authentic most of the time I don't think you can be authentic the whole time, without being enlightent even if that would only be an idea or perspective I hold. Before this turns into a self-help crying session what are your thoughts on people who grow unconsciously and consciously what are the key differences and charateristics these people have ? Edit: Of course that can also be just my unconscious perspective assuming that other people are unconscious. Does it not take consciousness to see and recognize unconsciousness and also does it not take consciousness to deny consciousness or unconsciousness ? Lol ?

@Loreena It is not them . I feel happy for the lucky people, most of my professors are like this(And these are some of the people to who I feel a connection.). They just seem very wise and have a lot of live experience and most of the qualities mentioned by you. What is meant is, people who are also growing still immature and yeah seem to be the perfect pick. The typical high school popular guy or girl. I got to knew the kind of people I am referring to and they do not even greet me or look at me now and I did nothing. I can critize myself for that I did not provide value, I am very good at listening and most of the time give some insights into peoples emotions, yet they do not seem to care even when I listened and funnily after that seemed more interested but it is like their ego is in their way of acknowledging something that I have and they don't. They are stuck somewhere... more on a moral level instead of an interpersonal. (Where I am growing so it might seem to me that they are more developed). They definitely can't handle their emotions, yet they seem to be on a good way to do that and I am nowhere near the mastery of my emotions although I am becoming and being pretty independt in that case. People validate and it is like yeah thanks and I smile and that is it lol.

@Nahm Yes that is a possibility. I hope it works out for both tbh.

@SLICKHAWK That is definitely the feeling I get with some people especially when I meet them. Some come from an conditioned state and some from a place heartfelt. That is the best way I can describe it. Or it is similiar to a state of flow. Well.. how fast a have grown is also relative. I can say I have come pretty far depending where I was , yet I do not want to go back to that lazy attitude and that is why I am continuing implementing and working stuff related to personal development. I journal a lot. I can definitely tell that I am not a "being" , "god", "atman" and what other names there are. Sometimes I get the feeling of it and I am grateful for that. So, I guess the question would come back to as what do I see myself ? Pretty much the notion everyone else gave me and seeing it through to some degree at the same time ? Or I don't know who I am. That would basically it and I think both is true for me now at the moment. Thinking does not really help here. That is why I would like to go to a meditation retreat. Yet, I still seem to care more about the outer world lol. Which I also have been denying.

That would be great, finding a study group. I did the course learning how to learn at coursera and at one point they said you pretty much learn all those lessons the hard way. That's what I really do not like about learning things online through videos or shortcuts they help a lot. Still, I feel or think that my brain switches into default mode and forgets the lessons most of the time till they are needed. For example studying with the recall method. I do that with test a lot but only with tests and not with notes. That's basically how I prepare and write down answers tbh I felt like I could have aced that test. I just did not practice enough. I hoped to fall through the test so I could write it again and write a better mark, it was easy I took to long to answer each question because some days of practice were missing. I always keep in mind the Dunnig-Kruger effect so I hope I am not to biased on this part. Still, I believe it was not that difficult and that's why I want to see the exam and to see what kind of mistakes I did. @Christian Thanks for the tip and in general for all the responses. I will definitely use the tip with spaced repetition and active recall or questioning method with the notes I took that day. Did not think of that and it will definitely help.