Gladius

Welcome to May! - Meditation: Daily 15 minutes of observation or visualization. - NoFap: Once a week tops. Avoiding porn. - Phone addiction: Avoiding social media daily 16 - 20. I found out a good way to regain confidence is placing some tiny bets with myself and win them. Even just playing some game with Super Nintendo and winning at it is valuable. Overall, looking back since I started this journal the results have been positive, with some suffering included. My intention is sticking to these habits and generating some more instead of applying big changes to my life. My biggest challenge right now is changing careers. Ironically I can feel some anxiety coming up as this goal is getting closer. It happened some times in the past: When I almost got what I want (job or a woman) I literally walked away from it. Hopefully raising my awareness will stop me from doing the same mistake next time. Kind regards to Leo and all of you out there.

Meditation: This is the one habit I created 100% solid. I didn't miss a single day since I started this journal five months ago. I do feel I'm more grounded and less judgemental. NoFap: I relapsed a couple times to watch porn. However, I'm not sure if it's healthy to avoid masturbation completeley. Just being more aware of that. Phone addiction: Still a bit hooked to that, but it has definetely improved. Non-alcohol challenge: The problem with alcohol is this drinking culture we live in. Since thousand of years ago we have drunk to engage social activities. Alcohol lowers your defenses, that's why it's essential to bond with other people. I struggle with bonding, so I drank socially when I have the chance. Not because I need it, but because other people is more comfortable with that, so the relationship gets stronger. Anyway, I do not have a drinking problem, just a social drinker. Non-caffeine challenge: Done, no problem. Overall, I gained more energy and focus. I stopped some people-pleasing habits and created more authentic and honest relationships with people. It's not easy to give up your old identity but it's worth making the effort. May goals: Daily meditation, NoFap awareness, and dropping the phone

@studentofthegame yeah, I'm working on having more patience, so I thought this would be a good start. I do appreciate your words.

Impressive self-analysis skills you have, keep it up!

Good job, James. I really like this "small victories" mindset. Looking forward to read more achievements of yours.

@studentofthegame thanks! Did I complain about aging? I try not to. I'm 34. My meditation used to be just observation. I'm finishing this course next week and I'll be back to that.

Weekly update: - Still listening to audios instead of meditation. - Use of phone only essential from 16 to 20. - NoFap: I hooked up with a former girlfriend. After 6 or 7 months without sex I really needed that. The problem is that she brought a wine bottle. In that scenario, alcohol was almost compulsory, it would have been really awkward if I had not drunk. Therefore, I had half a beer. Almost nothing, but unfortunately I couldn't complete one month without alcohol. I'll try again later on.

Mantaining goals. All going well.

Weekly update: - Meditation: Listening to Mindvalley audios until end of April. - NoFap: Avoiding porn completely. Only fapping so I can sleep. - Recreational use of phone restricted 16-20 - Alcohol and coffee restriction during April.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to... Non-alcoholic April! I'm not gonna drink come hell or high water (besides the current goals)

- I just had a little of a heartbreak and experienced a big ego backlash, Just Relapsed on NoFap watching porn. That was exactly a 4 month streak though. Not bad.

- Meditation: Keeping Mindvalley autohipnosis every night. My confidence is really growing. I'm just wondering if it is a lasting change or is it going to vanish as soon I stop listening to them. - NoFap: Relapsed a couple times this week. Haven't watched any porn though. It feels good. - Social media banning from 16 to 20 working pretty well. Phone restriction not so well. Working on it.

- Meditation: Still listening to Mindvalley tapes. If I'm short in time, I do 15 minutes still meditation. - NoFap: Not more than once a week. - Social media banning 16 to 20: Working 100% for facebook and instagram. From now on I'll include the whole phone itself in this restriction..

- Meditation: Temporarily swapped it for the hypnosis audios I mentioned. I really feel my mindset and inner dialogue is changing. It's even scary. - NoFap: Once a week or so. - Sical media banning 16 - 20: Working 100% of the time!

- Meditation: Because of one of those stupid facebook ads, I tried a free masterclass from MindValley and it turned out my skin issues improved a lot. Therefore, I enrolled in a course to try autohipnosis for a few weeks. During this time I'll allow myself to skip meditation. I don't want to invest so much daily time in introspection. - NoFap still on. - Social media ban working 90% of the time.

March goals: Keeping up. If this month I manage to handle perfectly these 3, I'll update on April. - NoFap. - 15 minutes of daily meditation. - Banning social media 16 - 20.

Note on NoFap: After almost 3 months I relapsed today. Twice. I blame it on the Family guy episode (16x01) where there is an actual live porn star. It triggered something in me and I had to look it up. I leraned two things: - In these 3 months I have grown a lot. It felt weird to watch porn again, as it would be something damaging. - I need to look for intimate relationships with women. My body needs it. I must be also experiencing some ego backlash. To be honest I already had waken up quite horny. I grabbed the phone and started talking to girls. Still, it feels good to be back!

- Meditation: Some dark thoughts bubble up every now and then. I am conscious of it and I assume they are part of the game. Yesterday I grabbed a pillow and felt like beating the sh*t out of it. It feels better and better. Sticking to 15 minutes for the time being. - NoFap still on. I'm wondering if my low libido is due to aging, stress, depression, NoFap or Trump. - Social media browsing has indeed decreased, but I still can find myself idle scrolling. Keeping the 16-20 window until I manage it 100%.

I have your age and similar challenges, but your level of self-knowledge is amazing! Keep up the good work!

@RiseAbove Thank you so much! I'm starting to believe!

- 15 minutes of daily meditation come hell or high water. - Same NoFap policy. - Avoiding social media from 16 to 20.

Updating: - Meditating 15 minutes daily. Had to watch again the video "Dark side of meditation". Many dark thoughts and emotions are bubbling up. It feels good to just experiencing them and letting them go though. - Still NoFap. I don't feel like it though. - Avoiding social media from 16 to 20 almost completely.

I'm wondering what are the best psychedelics for self-improvement use. Already had a good experience with mushrooms, truffles, and ayahuasca. Which ones are left for me to try?

Challenge for February: - 15 minutes of daily meditation. - Same NoFap policy. - Banning social networks from my life didn't work. I'll set a time where I won't check them: 16 - 20. Otherwise doing good. Learning to accept my current job, and decided to work on my projects like a beast in my free time.

- Keeping 10 minutes of daily meditation. Will increase to 15 by next month. - No porn in 2 months. Last night, after a 20 day streak of NoFap, I had a wet dream. To avoid it, from now on I'll fap no more than once a week. - Still having phone addiction, but avoiding idle scrolling on social media.