alyra

@JustinS Yeah ghost in the shell is a very inspiring source of considering individuality and "soul" type thinkings. Have you seen the series?

I'm just looking for advice in general regarding this thought idk. Honestly the thing that excites me most is the idea of a moment where I talk with somebody about something they care about and even tho they have more interest, experience, and knowledge about that subject, (or at least if it's personal and not some field of study/development, for example if it is an emotional hurdle, then it is their perspective they know more about), That the things I say are inspirational to them and inspires new ideas and understandings in them (and in me) Of course, this is not something I'm very good at. mostly I just babble and confuse people and insert agendas of my own interest into what they say as if that is what they care about, when it is not.

well idk really but at the least - well - when I had a frustration with trying to balance many many things that made me confused and lost. it was just a matter of time before I managed to sort it out in a way or another. And what I would recommend in retrospect - is to work on one thing at a time. well, idk how to explain it. because well for me I had several pressing concerns to figure out - and so I couldn't jsut ditch all the things! but it was easier when I focused on one thing at a time - so even tho I had much on my mind, I would write them all down and then pick the one that was most urgent and focus on Just that, for a while - a half hour, an hour, a few hours - even a day. and this I think is a recomendation to help. another recomendation is to work on something that helps you handle this all, with priority - sorry this makes no sense does it lol. what I mean - for me what I did was - I worked on being comfortable with uncertainty, because my numerous concerns were all around uncertainty. another thing would be, becoming comfortable with urgency, or with hopelessness, or etc. first become OK aand accepting that this barrier that holds you back is the way of your life right now, not to say that it is neccessarily good or bad but just that it is as it is and if change can happen it will happen, and that's all ok. I think I would say "embrace uncertainty" is it? I had a catch phrase to remind myself of this goal, to become comfortable with whatever it was that was discomfortable - IDK exactly the best way to do this but I found a way. and that helped a lot, to then start to focus on taking action with what I needed to in a focused and effective way, to first just become OK with it.

creativity isn't coming up with novel ideas. no this is not creativity. creativity is taking a novel idea, whether that comes from within or whether, more commonly, you notice someone else sharing or showcasing the idea - and recognizing the good in that idea, and then doing something with it. whether that is taking inspiration and turning it into art, or taking a budding new technology and turning it into a billion dollar business over the course of 20 years. this is what creativity is.

well to be completely honest I post because i am a machine who believes she is identity with free will.

interesting! the "exploratory" approach to the word. Exploration is creative, in addition to fabrication being creative.

good point, assumed to be implied naturally it is difficult to discuss this topic for those very reasons...

so consciousness work and nondual spirituality/philosophy and self actualization... they ultimately lead to this declaration that - there is no self, physical existence is illusory, all that is real is awareness and that is a tricky devil. nonduality, idk how to capture it well in words but basically the idea that the best life is the monk's life working full time to reach the highest stages of consciousness possible. But I say, that in and of itself is identity, duality, moralization of right and wrong, and inherently that decision (like any decision) is dogmatic. Yes, so is what I am saying here, also dogmatic. but the argument then is to say that sure of course consciousness work sounds like dogma because you can only discuss it in words, and that is where the dogma lies. but I counter with the point that even awareness itself is illusory, is no different from sensation or thought, and as thought is a tricky thing which pretends to not be thought! Leo and some others have hinted at how there is real direct experience from consciousness work that is definitely not thought and is definitely infinite and nothingness and god and enlightenment. and IDK I feel as if I have had tastes of this what they speak of so I'm not saying this from ignorance please but - inherently experience itself is illusory. In fact I say, as long as we are conscious at all, we prove that we are not nondual. well, yes nonduality is the true existence - but we as a "local experience" of existence are inherently dual, only dual, and cannot Truly be nondual in our consciousness. Naturally - the monk dedicating their life to experience as close to nondual infinity, to god as they can possibly get - that is valid and honorable and kudos to any who dedicate their life to it. But There is no such thing as inauthenticity, as low consciousness, or anything similar. If this local experience I call me acts in a "low consciousness" way, that IS authentic. And mindfulness work is only at its basic form - focusing on increasing our internal experience to be more present, and on transcending illusions. Farming the field before, farming the field after. If I understand the goals of nonduality, consiousness, and ETC and work to encorporate the teachings as they apply to my local illusory life, Then I am self-actualizing just as much as the sage in the monastery. If I go it my path, I inherently am doing it authentically. to be "more authentic" is an illusion itself. Is there any counter argument to this?

everyone is a machine. do we have strong negative emotions about certain actions? yes. do we moralize it as undesirable? yes. is it wrong? lol no. without the warping from the mind, a bird in a tree is but a sea of light that means nothing and cannot be discerned. it is to be expected that humans dislike "evil" things. but "evil" is entirely an illusion created by the mind. created there, lives there, and dies there. beyond the mind there is no such thing as evil.

one man's evil is another man's good.

I am often frustrated with waiting. something that helps is to focus on the things that are changing. I set a goal for a week, such as do these things every day. and after a few weeks, I consistently am in the habit. and so i make a new goal, to do those old things as usual, as well as this extra thing. and I look to the past and future only for reference frame. tho maybe I am coming at this from a different growth perspective - you say you need to stop fantasizing about the future, where I need to start being able to actually imagine where I'm going. so for now I am imagining where I am going.. next week...

typically people speaking to not follow your passion, are speaking specifically to people who have a frustrating time either identifying "their passion" or who's passion is for some reason or other causing them failures or stresses when applied as a career. And the message is to create passion with what works, rather than force any (or no) passion you already have to work when it doesn't.

also hey for cheap food if you got a rice cooker, get rice, lentils, check the bag to make sure it takes as long or faster than the rice. get tuna in cans, and frozen peas. the meat is most expensive. you can replace it with hard boiled eggs if you aren't into the tuna. or beans also. or hey, peanut butter works. some kind of protein, you need protein to be healthy. oh, get raisins if you want it to get sweet, don't need a lot. ok i confused that - basically. get rice and lentils, they both cook nicely in rice cooker, then get some kind of extra protein on top, and some kinda frozen veggie. rice lasts a long time, so it's real cost efficient. look for the frozen veggies that are bulk for best price too, they'll last you long as well. not much food value except calories. This is the food I eat all time. I got spices, and varies canned options like diced tomato, canned soup, etc. find a good soup and add it to rice and you got food for a day, or well maybe half a day if you have high motabolism. I get frozen fish too for some times, and I get 1 of different canned meats to switch it up so it's interesting. salmon, chicken, tuna, vienna sausage, if I'm lucky they got beef for cheap in a can. I should pay attention to what supermarket had that lol. tho, it isn't as cheap as tuna. get multivitamins too. a multivitamin I mean, not several bottles one bottle at a time. If you are living on low cost, make sure to get multivitimin so you don't get sick off of deficiency.

@Cameron24529 yo I totally get what you mean. I'm trying to grow my independance, and my parents are always always always trying to "help" but it is insulting. their help is indian giver. they say they will help but then forget, or are busy, and they always help by pressuring me to do something that is low-priority for me compared to things I'm trying to do. or with food. I go out for BK because I need a quick calories for the next 24 hours so that I can hide in my room, knowing I'm going to be exhausted and overwhelmed because my mood is crashing. but my parents the way they behave I can tell they are judging me, thinking how much not making my own food is costly comparatively. and my mom thinks it is insulting that I am not eating her food,trying to make my own food. And Yet at the same time they worry that if they give me too much money they'll encourage dependancy???? it is like. holy shit, stop pushing money down my throat if you worry about that! no, if I need clothes they are like oh let me take you on a shopping spree! If my bank account gets to low and I accidently let slip, they're lke here take some cash! take it! if I tell them that I'm worried about how long it's taking me to get employed they go "nah don't worry we can cover you take your time" and yet they ask me to spend less when I spend too much on their credit card. they give me this disappointed look when I return home from food. etc. and it's annoying because I don't want their help and yet when I try to tell them (yes even direct) they start to freak out about how they love me and so of course they'll help me and if I don't let them "in" it's depressing! jeese! BUT this is the old me. I knew that it was no good to do. it took a long time to slowly wean myself off that blame and anger. But it is possible, I know it 'cause I did it. Be patient with yourself and your frustration, with time you will find new ways to handle your conflicting thoughts, so that they do not lead to anger and stress. it is difficult but worth it.

yeah something like that. we are entirely composed of ego really. You can get precise about what "ego means" if it helps of course. but, there is no end to self-actualization, and as long as we sit here thinking and observing and believing we exist in this world around us, then we got ego of some kind. it is not really to moralize the ego as bad or evil IMO, the thing about transcending that I understand it - not sure if this is the formal meaning tho - but the way that makes sense is to notice how you can look at something one way and it's got this heavy meaning. but then you discover a new meaning, that uses the exact same words, end yet has a deeper meaning - this is transcending. idk if I explained it well, I need to find a good example for a metaphor.

eh, everything is ego really. what is self improvement - that is transcending the ego. you see? they are one and the same.

there are many ways to interpret that. they are all valid.

feel free to develop and use these basic ideas as you please yell at me if I'm crazy, too. first is - like the neti neti method, the not this not that - but instead, "and what?" - hold something in your mind, some thought or some sensation or whatever, and say "and what" to ask your self, "sure that is This, but what else is also This?" The second is - "what duality?" where - oh, it's self explanatory. Just try asking yourself "what duality?" - it's fun like, wait, what duality? there is no duality! be careful, meditation may lead to confusion. wait - what duality?

you could stop, you could continue. The fact that you ask IMO tells me you prefer to stop.

one thing I did which helped is, I went into the settings for notifications, and blocked notifications for most of the apps on phone, especially for email. I don't have facebook on my phone. all those notifications keep you distracted by it. I also made sure to find a text notification sound that is not attention-grabbing for me, that when I hear it I'm not feeling startled or compelled.

we all have ego, even Leo.

meditate, contemplate. it is good to look outward to the experiences of others and their discourse thereof. but don't fall for the trap of thinking that their words are a magic pill that transfers understanding from them into you. the context of an individual's paradigms and illusions change the meaning of discourse between the speaker and the listener. it takes inward work for any concerned individual to uncover wisdom for themselves. that only comes from contemplation and reflection - outer discourse only offers a chance of kick starting that process, not completely replacing it

yes I can handle all these concerns. especially since one step in transcending the belief of good v evil requires noticing how desires are illusory by nature, and not some insurmountable force we must obey.

I use my smart phone but mostly it is the hour before sleep when I play puzzle games, or when I'm answering a phone call. some other uses to, right now I'm posting with it, but that's unusual - usually I post on a forum only on my computer at home, forums are my addiction tho not the phone. I often leave my phone at home when I go out, or leave it untouched in my bag just for emergencies. when I'm at home it sits, lonely, on the table in my hall. oh - I also use it to play music, that's actually it's main feature lol. but mostly it's just one album playing on repeat and/or shuffle for several hours. background white noise. hence I forget to mention that majority purpose

@Salaam wait but - how is it that we can do anything about good and evil, when there is no good and evil?? perhaps you are afraid that if the world saw no good and evil that we clearly would all pillage and burn each other to death! so let me ask you, why would I, who see no evil, choose to not pillage and burn? I honestly don't know, please explain to me why I would? The only reason to do such a thing I can fathom up is out of belief that my action eradicated evil (or stupidity or imperfection), and oh! that is not a belief I hold