faith

Thank you very much, This looks very interesting, and George Kappas sounds like an interesting and genuine man.

Thank you very much Danielle. Binging is rather a wide scale problem. i was just watching "The Last Samurai", a movie with Tom Cruise about Japan, and I thought to myself "My, what a people! Their discipline to their art and life had such a strong resolve that it makes my knees weak just thinking about it". Too bad these ideas evolved in a relatively small region of the globe, and even in those places was only practiced by some denominations. And now I hear kids are suffering from ADHD more and more, and just wonder what the future will bring. Thank you Wish you love in your life!

I have days where I can't help and I will binge on practically everything - food, entertainment, and sleep. The worst is that I can't control it (or at least I think I can't), I just can't stop. And I don't feel bad afterwards. I think I enjoy it. Maybe I feel empty too. However, on the days that I follow my path, I feel just as great, if not better. The bottom line is some days I can implement a healthy, productive, spiritual lifestyle, and on other days all I do is lay in bed feeling half numb and half tired, but secretly enjoying it. Would anybody provide any thoughts on binging behaviours and how to reconcile it with a spiritual path? I would appreciate some input. Thank you

I came across this website through my school's counselor, and thought it may be worth a share: http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm It has modules for some of the bad behaviors we have such as low self-esteem, perfectionism, procrastination, anxiety, etc... My best wishes!

Thank you for telling me about this. I have never heard of this before, and after looking up I found there is such a thing here in Toronto. So I am going to have it a go (but oh my, the pricing!!!). Once I finish, I will let you know of my experience

Who says that going to college is an easy way out? I personally struggled with school, and still struggle, with getting it done properly. There are a lot of great things you can find in school. In fact you can find courage there too. You just need to implement yourself in the right ways. By that I mean, you have to get outside of your comfort zone. Here are some ways you can accomplish this, but there are a million ways you can practice getting comfortable with discomfort: Get used to the sensation of taking cold showers Meditate for 30 minutes everyday (it's not as easy as it sounds) Say "Hello" to random people on the street, or smile at every single passerby When inside an elevator, face the people instead of cornering yourself and avoiding eye contact Dress up as a homeless man, and beg on the street (even for an hour), and then give away your earnings to a real homeless man You can also do something else on the street like raising awareness for something, or playing a musical instrument Do something like the things you see above, and other things that you would think make you feel nervous and outside of comfort EVERY DAY Please do consider my suggestion, as I was once in high school going through the same things as you are. Now 25, and I can tell you that it gets easier the older you get, but you must be willing to work on personal development, which I am glad you are, since you are here. I think you could at least think more about your options of going to college. But if you choose to go the enterpreneurial way or whatever way you want, remember it's not really about what you do, it's about how you do it, and to get that courage, develop the habits I mentioned above, as well as other habits that will help you get yourself out of comfort. Good luck, my friend! I wish you compassion and courage, and an examined life

You're very right. When you want something so bad because of lack of experience, you can't really hear someone else or their advice, even though they're maybe right. So you definitely need to get some direct experience. Have you considered a hooker maybe?

Just meditate my friend. Without first opening up the gaps between your thoughts, you will continue on with trying to logically understand all this spiritual mumbo jumbo. So please do try to meditate - it's a real good thing. If we could understand awareness better through this logical way that you've put it, how come only a small percentage of people understand it? I would think everyone would be able to understand it. So you see, I don't think it's an idea that can be logically perceived. Only practicing meditation (or other forms of spirituality, but personally for me, meditation does the job) can help you to understand. Good luck my friend

I had a good laugh. Thank you for that I certainly hope it also cheered the gentleman who started this thread.

Well if you're very blunt, have you tried doing some loving-kindness meditation? If not, it's basically reflecting on giving love to yourself and the world while you're meditating. First you may start with yourself saying "May I be well, may I be fulfilled, may I be healthy" and then, you expand it to your family, to acquaintances, to strangers, to anybody you can think of. Become grateful for life and people. Breath in the pain of the world, breath out compassionate thoughts and feelings. Breath in all the anger and hostility you feel, all the confusion, and anxiety that you see, and breath out compassionate thoughts and feelings. Also, it's all about finding balance. I come from a different side. I am a people pleaser, and so for me, I actually needed more of your personality. I needed to be more blunt and assertive. For you, it seems you may need more compassion and kindness towards others. And you don't have to people please, you can still keep your bluntness, in fact I think it's a vital part to your self-actualization, just like people pleasing was a vital part for me to find my own way. I guess we take our strengths and our weaknesses with us and make them a part of our spiritual healing. One thing that really seems to work is slowing yourself down while you're talking with someone. Imagine yourself conversing with someone. We usually do it in a pretty fast paced manner not paying close attention too much to what they're saying. If we are to converse mindfully, we must slow everything down: create longer eye contact, create slower nods, speak slower, smile longer, be silent longer if required. It may feel unnatural at first, but the benefit is so HUGE, you will be able to create meaning with anyone, and you may even reflect on that fleeting conversation (even if it's just a "good morning") later on during the day, and be thankful for it. It truly is a wonderful experience. Not everyone will be able to keep up with you. Some people may think you're weird. Some people won't talk to you because you're that guy that really loves to make connection and people are terrified of that, and some people will create unnecessary judgments and gossip and whatnot. But to walk by the beat of your own drummer, and to not be succumbed to joining the sheep of this world - isn't that something gold? All the best to you my friend. I will think of you when I meditate today (and if I am too lazy), then tomorrow Take care

Maybe you shouldn't detach. Maybe you should enjoy your looks while you have them because, you're right, someday you will go bald or fat or something else will come along, and someday (far, far in the future) you're going to get sick and die. It's important to understand the impermanence of life and that everything is here just for a fleeting moment, but that doesn't necessarily mean you can't enjoy what you have in front of you. Nothing is black and white, and you must learn to find peace in the paradox of life - "Ah, I have good looks, but I won't have them forever, I understand that, but it doesn't mean I can't enjoy the gifts I was born with" I think you don't have a healthy understanding of your body because, it's true, society puts a lot of pressure on appearance. I think you shouldn't worry too much about what society thinks, and more so start building a healthier perception of your appearance and your body. For that, I would recommend doing meditation. In fact, do meditation naked. Walk around your house naked. Look in the mirror naked without judging what you see. So try to enjoy. Feel the youth and vibrancy of life. Feel how your skin is smooth and attractive. BUT don't become swayed by thoughts such as "Wow, I am so pretty, most people are not on my level" Just enjoy it without labelling or judgment. That's it my friend. All the best on your adventure. You're very smart if you're thinking about these things at 17. You'll be great

Keep on masturbating.

I don't think you fucked up your life. Everything happens for a reason, and the universe has a funny way of laying the path for us no matter where we go. I think you're thinking that you fucked up your life, and it hurts to think about how much time you wasted. So I think you should acknowledge this pain through meditation, if you don't accept and forgive this pain, it will follow you for the rest of your life. Don't be scared to face the pain. I think it's much more scarier to live the rest of your life without becoming friends with this pain. Good luck, my german friend

Well, I think my story is quite similar. I, too, have had a people pleasing personality, and I still have it, it won't disappear in one day, but with meditation (and I am glad you are doing it) it will gradually lose its volume over time. Basically, you care about others' perception of you. You need to stop caring about what other people think. You'd probably be a billionaire if you had a nickel every time you heard that before. But it's true. It's like be yourself. It's true, but telling a person who is going out on a date and is nervous to be themselves won't do anything. Eventually, let's say this person is promiscuous and goes out on a hundred dates, he or she will get used to it, and in time, finally realize what people mean when they say be yourself. So whenever you get people pleasing thoughts, start paying attention, and softly name them - "ah this is a people pleasing thought, that's ok, I can't control you, and I know you come and go, that's ok, too" After a while, you may find out that this is like peeling an onion and finding another layer, something new will come up that you didn't see before. When you start accepting your people pleasing thoughts, they may turn into narcissistic thoughts, or self-conscious thoughts, and what you will find, in time, that the foundation will always lead to fear. You are avoiding pain, and seeking comfort, but once you start accepting everything on the same even ground, then you will start feeling peace, and you may still occasionally feel people pleasing thoughts, but you won't suffer and your mind will be clearer. That's it, brother. Best of luck to you! You will do great.

Thank you for that message. I have been getting doubts in my meditation recently. Somedays I don't meditate at all and binge on other things. I am very much still an infant in this spiritual work. But I have to say, I do love working on fear. Whenever I feel fear during meditation (in my case, I am terrified of the dark), afterwards, I usually feel amazing. Still, doubt and discouragement prevail on some days. It truly is a ride, isn't it

In the past, I have relied heavily on my looks to build my self-worth which unfortunately triggered unhealthy behaviours such as narcissism and self-consciousness. How can I use awareness and meditation to feel good about my self-worth, to heal my old wounds created by narcissism and self-consciousness? Thank you

Yes, I had a similar rationale. I depend too much on my body, and it will be a great thing for me to realize how I am not my body. Thank you

This is a very good passage, thank you. To me what he speaks is that I need to disidentify with my appearance in order to feel the freedom I seek when I am in public places. I need to become "nothingness" and stop trying to feel good by worrying about what others think about me or if they are looking, or something of that sort.

I know. I have always felt self-conscious, even now that I am older and wiser (hopefully), I still feel it. Maybe you can tell me more about your experience? I think your words could help shed light on this rather difficult arena. Thank you

Thank you for this message. I do try to apply awareness as much as I can, and I notice that when I talk to people, I don't actually care what they have to say as long as they are paying attention to me, and as long as they think what a great guy I am. This has worked for so long that only now that I am doing awareness and meditation work, I realize how much it holds me back. I will try to reflect while I meditate and see if anything deeper comes up

One reason I suffer, and I am sure many more suffer is by the sheer amount of choices we have. I absolutely don't want to do anything at all. There are just so many things I could do, and because I have also picked up a perfectionistic personality along the way somewhere, now I really struggle to start anything in my life. All my goals are at a halt, and I keep adding new goals and ideas, and it's all becoming a real pain in the arse. Beside goal making, this is also evident in another important area of life - relationships. There are just so many options, and you want to have them all. This is a real problem for me because I already have a girlfriend who is the most amazing person I know, but does that mean I am a saint? I have been suffering trying to reconcile relationship based feelings for a long time now with no real solid path to follow. Could someone with a similar problem please respond, and give me a clue. I really have none. Thank you.