faith

No I am not talking about that. I mean something random like....well....for example, I just thought of the time I almost put a lit torch in my pants because I was really wasted. I think I remember the crowd laughing, and I was thinking, "Gee, I am a funny guy." You know, something like that. Something that seems pretty insignificant but yet I remember it even though there has been hundreds of other drunk things I have done that I don't remember. It doesn't have to be a drunk memory, my point is any memory.

That song makes me want to eat ice cream............and strangely do hard core drugs like cocaine Yes, I think we should cheer each other on. I am pretty bad food wise. I look like this gentleman

Mmmmm, I like cherries inside chocolates.......you know, with some condensed milk and whip cream on top, and sprinkled M&Ms

Yea but can a fruit taste like a Snickers bar? That shit is magically delicious.

My mouth feels so salty!!! I think I am starting to lose my head. I need sugar!!!!!!!!!

Today, I tried to stop eating refined sugar foods. Half way through the day, I felt like I would die if I didn't have a sweet, so I indulged until I felt full and a little sick. This is a cycle I am most familiar with. I just can't handle giving it up. The truth is you should have less than 6 teaspoons of sugar a day, according to WHO. I am pretty sure I consume 4 times, 5 times, 6 times that amount. I know I can't mutilate myself like that. What can I do about my worst addiction?

So, I come to my first day completion of no sugar. I was feeling pretty salty in my mouth throughout the day, and I reconciled that with some all natural peanut butter dipped with a banana. The peanut butter only had 1 g of sugar per tablespoon. And let's remember, the WHO's recommendation is 6 spoons or 25 grams per day. In the evening, my grandmother had a glucose meter handy on her, and I tried it on myself, and scored a 6.7 blood sugar level. That's pretty bad considering the normal range is within 4.0 and 6.0. I don't want to become a diabetic, so I am hoping this lifestyle change will be sufficient enough to get my health to optimal level. I may or may not update daily. I think daily reports don't really count, do they? I think it speaks louder if you do a weekly report. Hey, if you lasted a week, that's something to be proud of. A day..........hmmm not so much.

Dear Actualized.org Community, I have been a porn addict for as long as I have had sexual thoughts. I think I have heard enough of convincing arguments about porn addiction and its debilitating effects, and I am going to do a 90 day challenge to see if there is a difference, no matter how subtle, which I will gladly share. As a side note, I am strictly going for porn addiction here. I enjoy sex with my girlfriend, as well as hands-free orgasm tantras (but I don't do those tantras often, nor do I have sex with my girlfriend everyday). But I watch porn everyday, and herein lies the problem. To be honest, it doesn't really affect me. I don't feel anything demonizing about pornography. But it could be something simple such as having been exposed to porn for so long, my neural pathways are in such configuration that I can't feel any other way. I will keep a journal, and will report for a total of 7 times: 1st day, 3rd day, 1st week, 2nd week, 4th week, 1st month, 2nd month. Today is Friday, April 21st 2:30 am. This is entry number zero.

It's okay. I found the middle path. I don't have the urge to masturbate that much anymore. I am having more sex with my gf so I think that's helping me a lot. If I was alone, I'd probably be wanking every hour. I was just interested in the NoFap thing because I heard something scary on the internet that porn makes you depressed or it changes your brain chemistry. But that's all bullshit. Do what makes you happy. I have never had any negative damage from porn, and with meditation I was able to reduce my need for it. What I am really interested in beating is my sugar addiction. It's the most powerful addiction that I have. I notice this because when I don't have sugar for a little while, I start panicking.

Thank you very much, I am going to give up on refined products, I just have to get past the withdrawal period >.<

Hey guys, I have eliminated a lot of my problems, and I don't feel down anymore. I feel pretty neutral most days. However, my intuition tells me I am still incomplete. I am not getting major breakthroughs through meditation like I used to. What can I do, or how can I tell what I am missing? Thank you in advance <3

I've said in my previous thread that I have had an adequate self-actualizing practice yet I have reached a point where I feel neutral and stuck. My primary dilemma is this: I don't believe in anything anymore. Nothing here can answer for me "Why I exist?" I am not sure if I am living anymore. At least when I was in a lot of pain, I was feeling something. Now I don't feel anything, or in the very least, I feel things in a subtle way. I am like a robot. Sometimes I feel there is no hope, and I don't know what the hell to do anymore, or what I am suppose to do now. Don't be mistaken, I don't feel hopelessness, it's more of a "There is just nothing out there that will make me realize anything, and my inner self is also static, so WHAT THE HELL, GOD? What kind of a joke is this?" Do you see where I am getting with this? I am just not sure about anything anymore, and that's my problem. I feel incomplete and stuck, and just want to cry and stand on my knees before God, but I can't even do that! Some encouraging words would be great. Don't give me some guru high-and-mighty bullshit answer like you know everything. Just give me something that will be something. Please.

Please love me for the both of us, until I have the strength to match your love.

This is a beautiful saying, thank you. What's really funny is this is exactly what I said to someone a couple of days ago that was also saying they were feeling stuck. I said something like "Enjoy being stuck, it's part of the path" Lol, life is kind of funny and ironic that way. First, you feel well and you give someone advice who is feeling down, the next day, you're down, and someone comes along and says the same thing you once said.

@Sevi I love kitty! ^.^

This describes my situation perfectly, thank you! Also, nihilistic thinking in me is strong right now. I wish I could just love and let go, but then again, if only things would come true as easy as saying them....

No worries my friend, your English is perfect! As far as your dilemma, please do yourself a favour and stop thinking that somewhere out there is an answer that you will read and go, "Aha!!!! Everything makes sense now!!!" There is no such thing. I've been looking and looking, and now that I am finally not looking, I will tell you the ultimate secret to self-forgiveness and pain release - patience. You don't need any help. All you need is to keep doing what you have already started. Do your meditation. By the way, there is no such thing as different types of meditation. It's all the same thing. It's all about acceptance. Answers won't come right away. In fact, I've been doing meditation for 2 years, and the first year you won't get the kind of pain release you're looking for. You may not even get it in your second or third year, depending on the severity of your case. The point is to have absolute faith in this process. Put all your money on the table and say, "Meditation is all there is." So to answer your question: Keep on going, my friend <3

Naruto is the bomb!! All though, I gotta say, they took it too far with the whole Boruto saga. They should have ended it with that episode of Naruto and Sasuke, and that would be satisfying enough! Grrr........

All the songs from the documentary Adolf Hitler: The Greatest Story Never Told are very good and emotional. All though the director sneakily used other artists' music and did not bother to credit them, you can find most of the music used in the documentary right here:

I wouldn't buy gifts for girls that you're only freshly dating. A gift is a gesture for someone you care about. When you buy a gift for a total stranger, or someone you just know but not emotionally involved with, I mean, can't you see how that may come off. You're already saying, "I care about you", when you don't even know the person. It's just really unnecessary. The only gift you can give for someone you just met is your attention and a willingness to try things out. Later down the road you may buy something nice and expensive because you love them and you care for them, and you want to show them your appreciation. For example, I bought my girlfriend roller blades, and I had not motives other than saying, "I hope you will enjoy them because I care." I can imagine going on a blind date with a pair of roller blades. I am pretty sure the girl would think I am crazy.

I never thought fasting could be used as a way to reach enlightenment. And this idea has been around since Buddha. I urge you to watch the video below about a 7 day fast that creates space for higher consciousness, as well as carries physical benefits such as cleaning out the junk you've eaten over your lifetime. Have a look:

Very good question. I think most definitely if you are a creative soul and want to expand on that, we definitely need more creative people in our world. If you want to be a video game developer, you can do great things. For example, you can make phone apps that will really help people connect and meet each other without insecurities getting in the way. This is what the Pokemon game did (you know the one that was super popular last year). Or you can make playstation and xbox games. It doesn't matter how senseless, violent, sexual, or gore they are. What matters is the level of creativity you put in it. Put real human value, human spirit, human potential in it. Decide that before starting any project. And be aware of that low level thinking behind consumerism. Say to yourself, "Fuck the world, I am going to do things without getting caught up in all of its bullshit. I am going to use my energy for what I believe is right. I am going to follow my intuition." Take Quentin Tarantino for example. Many believe his movies are violent and unnecessary. But you can sense that he is extremely creative, and uses that creativity to share his passion with the world. In the end, his movies tend to be a great movie watching experience that millions enjoy, and appreciate.

Not sure exactly what you're asking, but I am very much interested in the last century as it was the most humans ever accomplished. For example, with the invention of the car, the urbanization, computers, etc..... Last century was definitely a significant one for our history. And one HUGE (if not the biggest) thing to come out of this century is consumerism. Consumerism is this sneaky way to put emotional value on things to make us believe that we need them to be happy. For example, you must have the new iPhone, everyone has the new iPhone, you will stay connected with everyone at all times, and will never feel lonely or sad because it has so many new and cool additions. What a load of horse shit, pardon my French! But that's essentially what was created in the last century, and if you're interested in the exact events that took place, I would suggest looking up Edward Bernays - he was one of the most influential figures behind consumerist culture. As a fun side note, he is related to Freud whose big idea was that humanity is evil because our subconscious behaviours are unstable, and we tend to act out in violent ways. And, of course, Bernays used his uncle's ideas and made his own fortune with it. Where the hell am I going with all this? Well, my friend, if you want to add value to people, don't use this emotional-attachment-to-products idea. Will someone respect and admire and love you if you give them an xBox or will they respect and admire and love you if you're a genuine, sincere, above materialism kind of guy? Your choice, best of luck!

I have actually been very interested in this topic recently. What I understand is that women have a certain image of beauty that they have been conditioned to by ways of our society (tv shows, media, magazines, gossip, etc...). Most women aspire to this image and try to compete with others in order to get attention from males. You're right to suggest this comes from low self-esteem, and may also be a destructive body image, BUT... What really goes on on a deep level is that women are part of the oppressed demographic, kind of like visible minorities, the disabled, gays, etc... And it stems from our society (and most societies now that I think of it) being patriarchal in nature. What do oppressed groups do to cope with their oppressed nature? They resent their own values and try to take the values of the dominant group. So what happens with women in this case is that the only source of liberation for them is to get that male attention because there is tremendous freedom in sexuality, and if you are able to get their attention, you are able to control them, or in the least, have a sense that you are in control. I think Freud had it upside down. Women don't want men's penises. They want their vaginas respected. (LOL, I have no idea how to put it more intelligently, please forgive me) My point is that when a women is completely satisfied with her body image, with her level of confidence, with her life around males and females, and she doesn't have any unresolved feelings towards our backwards society by having healthy values of her own.............now that's a woman!!! And same goes for all other groups as well.

Ahhhhhhhh, I screwed up. Went back to my old ways. To be honest, I am more happy this way. YOLO