MellowD

Thank you all! I definitely use humor alot to get by. I feel like it helps. I will keep going and build myself from the ground up. I can do this. I am a strong independent black women

I feel like I have has been the care giver in my family from a very young age. Dealing with a mentally ill mother its hard not to. Tragedy has hit our lives last october my 8 year old neice was struck by a car and killed. I have been taking care of two household (my sisters and mine on the weekend mostly) I know she will have to do things on her own soon. My mom is starting to show early signs of a breakdown. Acting really religous and things that i know to be warning signs. My brother is having a hip replacement surgery and I will be giving him some of my time soon with his kids. I am a stay at home mom with a 2 year old so I do what I can. I am scared that this will all be to much for me. I can take being with my sis and taking care of my brother. I cannot handle if my mom loses her mind again. I really dont feel like I have it in me. I dont sit around with victim thinking to much . I cant. I am a goober and joke and love life. I am just really scared and have no energy. I dont want to break down myself....

I always wonder why it is that I am so inspired and intrigued in consciousnesses work considering where I came from. My family is the lowest sense of consciousness. I have difficulty in my personal life connecting with the people who are very close to me. I love my family and we just recently went through a tragedy in October. My 8 year old niece was struck by a car and passed away (her mom allowed her to go over to a friends house and the mother than let the kids go to the park across a busy street). I had made the choice to stay with my sister part of the week because her boyfriend works overnight. I worry about her before all of this and now I feel so much pain for her. Its just hard because she never fully grew up before this. She was a great mom In no way do I want to be judgmental towards herI just want to be there for them. I want more than anything to inspire her. I have been working on personal development in my own life for about 3 years. I really do want to be a benevolent force in this world we live in. Is it possible to help someone raise their consciousness if they are not aware its a possibility. She is my older sister but she always says she feels like the younger one. I just want to be there in her time of need and help her realize that she can gain so much more in her life. Also that she can turn this pain into growth.