Zephyr

In my parents basement of coarse. where else?^_^hbu?

If I was in Leo's shoes I would definitely just make a separate domain for the forum and give all products for free.

"A badass grows more valuable with every passing day. The most attractive men in the world are more valuable today than they were yesterday, and will be more valuable tomorrow than they are today. If you are constantly improving, always growing both personally and professionally, and taking steps every day towards becoming exactly who you want to be as a man, you will be irresistibly attractive to women." Tao of Badass, Josh Pellicer My name is Zypher, 16 yrs old I've been really fascinated by the idea of masculinity and femininity. I decided to grow to become more masculine. I don't know where to start really and I don't know where's this journey going to take me or how long it's going to be. But eventually we'll figure it out. I'm excited. This journal is just about general self improvement which will also focus on masculinity (I don't think I'll be talking about girls). I won't be covering life purpose, I'm going to be focusing on building a foundation -- pretty much standing up on my feet. Issues: - Masturbation/Porn Addiction: I think this is a huge one for me. It's not just masturbation it's unhealthy masturbation. - Gaming addiction: Causes suffering most of the time. - Maladaptive Daydreaming: Fantasizing, daydreaming. Takes up a lot of my time. This includes mental masturbation. A little bit of theories here and there are good. Obsession with girls is something to stay away from. - General distractions: Aimlessly dancing, being on social media when I don't have to, etc. - Procrastination: This had been biting me in the ass for years, until now. But I still can be potentially become a procrastinator. - Anxiety: Social anxiety and not feeling comfortable with others. Some girls can cause me anxiety. Public speaking causes me anxiety. There are certain things that causes me anxiety. - Boredom: Another low conscious state. It happens when I try to fix my addictions. Only happens when I'm low conscious though. - Being Judgmental: It's a pain in the ass. See I'm already judging. - Dishonesty: This one is huge. Really important to work on. Areas I'm going to be focusing on: - Work Ethic: Developing a good work ethic. That means doing your work with the best of your abilities. Eliminating procrastination and addictions. - Consistency: Having a routine is really important. Consistency plays a huge part with developing good habits - Surrendering: It might sound feminine, but I think this quite important. Surrendering I think is a root for confidence, assertiveness, and expression -- which are masculine traits. - Honesty: This is a no brainier. - Being Positive: ^__^

I went down the valley for a while. While it is not very fun to live in misery and suffering it is also something to be greateful for. Since suffering and life itself really is your teacher. While on downward trend I learned some stuffs, and became a little more aware. Concepts/Things I learned from Sufferings: 1. Depression: it only happens when I have resistance while in recovery state. Resistance + Recovery State = Depression. When your body becomes fatigue and your mind goes black and white this is when what I call 'Recovery State' starts.. For me it can last for weeks. I think it's a mechanism that puts us in economy state to conserve energy. This is for you to recover from the backfire you created through excessive exertion of will power, brute forcing, beating yourself, neurotic motivation, etc. This forces us stop Resistance. Resistance is pretty much the 'shoulds' and 'ought to be' that creates this conflict. The more resistance we have and the less awareness we have the more suffering we will likely experience. Especially for a person who don't meditate. When in Recovery State one should be aware of ones resistance. From personal experience recovery state just put me into involuntary awareness/meditative state. For people who never done meditation before this might be a different experience for them. They might add more layers of resistance since they are afraid of not thinking, not doing and just being. This only makes recovery state stronger, and then if one has low awareness the resistance will get also become stronger. This is why when I am depressed I play a lot of video games and masturbate to escape the recovery state which only is inviting me to the present moment -- to stop doing and just be. So this is suffering at it's finest. Eventually this leads to suicidal thoughts unless if awareness is shone to the conflict. Deep inside we all want to choose recovery state over resistance. This is why you can't just go up to a person who has depression and say "just cheer up" because that's not Recovery, that is Resistance. We no longer want to be happy (superficially) but we want to be happy. This is why that person just want to be left alone if he/she is not understood and accepted. Saying "cheer up" just pisses that person. We, as a society are just conditioned to Resistance. This is why depression is not rare in our society. This is why when someone is depressed we must choose understanding and presence rather than trying to fix the external problem that is causing the 'depression' ... Deep inside we want to be more intergrated rather than our problems fixed. Recap: When someone is depressed deep inside they want to be happy not to be superficially happy. That was cool experience being in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. A little bit of insight.

I watch porn. I procrastinate. Sometimes I meditate. I watch Breaking Bad. Pretty basic/fundamental stuffs. That's how you do it, man.

I like to play video games. I have an agreement I got to live by though. I abide 100 distraction / 50 meditation rule. I spend 30 minutes playing video games I do 15 minutes of meditation. I watch Breaking Bad which takes 48 minutes I meditate for 24 minutes. No stacking up meditation minutes, finish meditation first before the next distraction session..

@Heart of Space This could very well be true. It also depends what we mean by 'enlightenment'

There are beautiful cemetery landscapes photography and sand clocks background off of the Internet for your desktop background. I actually have a sand clock as my background.

Mal is right. It is the last step. Leo mentions in the Enlightenment FAQ video regarding this. something like this: Q: Well Leo, what is the point of self development? A: They are meant to be staircase towards the final step, enlightenment. this is what Mal meant. I think. @Heart of Space you are also right. It is the beginning. Enlightenment is only the beginning, as it is I would assume an unceasing trend as Leo mentioned. It's the beginning of your deepest purpose. You can go into many depths. Still not qualified to talk about this. But Leo did mention that Enlightment is the beginning of true self development. I would assume the road would be a little rough for you if you don't invest in fundamentals/self development. That's just from my personal experience.

I don't do much enlightment work but I listened to some spiritual teachers on YouTube. One thing I learned is that you are already enlightened since the beginning. You were enlightened all these time before you even began 'enlightment' work. The thing is that you believe that 'you' are not. Then you try to chase enlightenment believing that enlightenment is out there not here. It's in the future not the present. Still even when you believe that you are already enlightened and enlightment is here in the present it doesn't make you enlightened. It's still going to be a belief/concept not the 'enlightenment' itself. Still a concept, but your concept I would assume from looking at your post is giving you a hard time.

Your camera angle should be direct. It's too low. Also make eye contact. What do you think?

Laughing Budhha part 1 is the classic

If that is infinite waters then I would say it wasn't very obvious to me that he is enlightened. Check out Bentinho Massaro, Lisa Cairnes,

I don't know, man. To me it's just thought, feeling, thought, feeling, thought, feeling. I'll try it later tho.

Hey man, I'm having the same problem. The thing is that people will tell you to do, do, do, when all you need is to be understood. To be integrated is what you need. Search up Jeff Foster on YouTube

Good. I actually had to go through the same phase after watching some enlightment videos by Leo. I was where you are now until I read the Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. There are part where Deida talks about purpose and distraction. It doesn't say directly in the book, but your deepest purpose really is to become enlightened. Masculinity is all about emptiness and death, which is exactly what enlightment is. You want to be empty and free from all your desire. This is what motivates you to go out there and talk to girls, study hard, have good mental state, etc. It's because as a man you want to be freedom. It's true that it anything really doesn't matter. That means that what you did before and all you had didn't matter. As well as you becoming depressed now doesn't matter. However, to take this as if it were negative is just a trap or a blind spot created by your ego. What I suggest you do really is to read the book and just get back at it. Burning your desire is the stairway to enlightment. So go out there and do what you got to do. Have a purpose, direction, and take care of your responsibilities as a human, talk to girls, take care of your health, grow, stuffs like that.

Where are you trying to get at? If nothing matters as you said then why should your happiness matter? Your desire was to be happy and now your desire is still to be happy.

Depends what the shirt is made out of. But making my own shirt to promote Actualized.org would be a great idea

Pretty much the whole point of actualized.org

Add these to your playlist: Lean back - Fat Joe (instrumental) Respect my conglomerate - Busta rhymes (instrumental) Candy shop - 50 cents (instrumental) Stand up - Ludacris (instrumental)

I might be lucky^_^ TZ: Pacific time

I'm not a relationship person. But I think that even if she might have problem, I think you also have your own internal problem to fix as well. I can almost guarantee you though that when you make improvement with yourself, your women will also start to change and become more radiant.

Live a good life - you'll feel good. Live a bad life - you'll feel bad.

Looks does make difference but not that much. It's pretty self explanatory, you don't want to look like the most hideous creature on the planet. Make it look like you take care of yourself. Be healthy, wear something clean, etc. I don't this area covers a whole of aspects in self development which is likely the reason why Leo did not make a video about it^_^

Grateful for Challenges that I face everyday. They are teaching me new things everyday. The unknown potential that I have This day.