Blackjohn

This is me, who needs help.So the previous year i have been studying a lot getting good grades and all this stuff,but it was a result of my perfectionism and bad motives.So my work was not fulfilling me. Buuuuuuuut i kept pressing myself a lot two years now in every aspect of my life and i was improving myself.But the pressure was so intense.So anxiety hit me and i started having ocd symptoms(rituals,repetitive behaviors).Since then i started having a behavior that i would name it as self sabotaging i see myself not improving but going down all the time. Everything for me just kept getting worse.Now i am in a circumstance that i am not me. For some unreasonable reason i have an unwillingness to ACCEPT reality as it is.I dont know but i deny it and i constantly try to verify that what i live is what there is.A reason for that might be my thoughts.I feel confused i make many thoguhts and its just so intense. So heres more of what i encounter and i need your help.I am in a circumstance where i think all the time, question EVERYTHING and feel confused all the time.I make scenarios, thoughts that i can not control and this ruins me because me defense in all that is MORE thoughts.To be exact now for some reason i question my vision,thinking it too much and feel confused.I find myself many times stuck,where i obsess my thoughts to verify that what i see is what there is.All in all , the things i question i can not disprove and these thoughts effect me.(For instance i think what if i am crazy,what if the reality that is live is different than othes live)

So yes I have been over thinking and analyse things that I should not.Something that really bothers me is that overthink the ability we see.Many times I am bothered from that , yet I can not realise what exactly bothers me.Also as I think the ability we see it makes things a little bit confusing, maybe I have an ocd pattern of thoughts as everytime I make thoughts to feel secure or feel temporary relief.Also I can not live without trying to solve or find and answer to what confuses me.In addition I as I see what's around me I find myself stuck watching things just to be certain that what I see is what it is.All in all, I know that every thought I have is pointless and the ability that we see is something unconscious ,but I struggle.

Last couple days i am thinking that the reality that i see is not the reality others see.Its a perplexed issus because you can not really prove that unless you stay in and trust your natural powers(ability to see,hear etc).I have always been overthinking which makes problems that do not exist.Any thoughts on this?

So since the last year there is a problem that I encounter and I am really tired.It started from school and since the knowledge in school is in written form,here starts the problem.My main language is Greek and everytime now that I read something in Greek I stuck to every letter and I re read the word again again and also i think that the word that I read is not the word that its written.I deliberately check again again the word. I know that it's caused by anxiety or my neurosis being just unwilling to accept reality or its just based on a what if thought that I have to forget.This problem caused me a phobia of reading books and studying and I know that with phobias you have to do what you scare but everytime that I read something a huge amount of thoughts come up and I continue to struggle with the problem.Can I have your help?(with English seems that I am okay)

I did not have none of these but as I checked what ocd is, I can say that I encounter this @egoeimai

So I have noticed a problem that I have.Every time that I read a book I find it difficult to grasp and "save" every point that it is written and I have the ideology that I have to understand and note every single thing that it is written.Maybe I go too fast or its just lack of focus.Do you have any suggestions to give and end to this?(types of books:self-help,philosophical) I just want to find a way to understand and use the theorutical parts into practice

@egoeimai Yes I am highly interested and If it's convinient for you send the link. Σε ευχαριστώ πολύ im case your are Greek.

So, few months ago I started a topic about studies and I had positive feedback.I have watched leo's videos on how to study and since then I have made major changes in my study routine.But,there is somothing that concerns me...Although,I work hard and understand everything I need to know , I can not do well in my tests.To be specific I do not write the grade that relates to my understandind of the subjects.I have a clue which might have caused this,I had some high grades on many tests and since then with the effort that I give I belive that I will write 100/100 to evey test.Any solutions to deal with this? Appreciate reading this, Konstantinos

So my name is Konstantinos and I am in the second year of lyceum.I have been always be a good student, but not the type I wanted to be.The previous year I started doing my first steps, studying wanting it.This year I have taken my studies very seriously and after watching Leo's video on how to study I made many changes.I chose the field of economics and this requires maths as the most important subject(3 others too).But here in Greece in the third class everything concerning maths changes to very demanding,because of the A-Level exams.Although my grades(general and in maths) are high and I study for understanding sometimes I do not feel secure with maths.Do you have any suggestions on how to study this specific subject and reach a good level?Which will help me this year and especially the next. Apreciate reading this, Greetings from Greece