Bookum

This post is more of a "what do I do now"... I have known for years that I am a people person and I have played at trying to resolve the issue of constantly searching for approval. I watched Leo's video and it's the first time I understood the root. Realizing that my current strategy is wrong I am having to re-look at a lot of areas in my life. I would "not" say this is a post for validation. In the absence of the desire to obtain the approval of others. What drives people to be successful. I have to think that being a successful person and accomplishing "stuff" can be emotionally healthy. I want good things for my family... I have an autistic son that I have to provide for. I can think of lots of reasons to be successful and do better. I guessing this is a metamorphosis. Which is why Leo suggests the mantra should be repeated for 5 minutes 90 days in a row. Also, I may also be using the wrong term since success is abstract and subjective.

So one of my big fears with this big step in having my well being be completely independent of the good or bad opiniond of others is how to stay motivated to succeed when my motivation to succeed has always been driven by my desire to obtain affirmation and opproval of others. Without telling to much of a back story I was raised by alcoholic parents. So much so that my died at 50 due to cirrhosis if the liver. In spite of that I have become fairly successful in work, driven almost entirely by my desire to please people. All the while creating the unhealthy environment that revolves around relying on others opinions to dictate your self worth. I am now focused like a laser on living independent of the opinions of others. But, it begs the question how to replace the motivation. Why even bother be concerned with your physical appearance or your success. If you don't care of what others think k what is the motivation to succeed

So thinking about it. The whole concept of motivation seems like a crutch. If you really truly want to do something no level of spiritual or emotional motivation will be needed. But can provide an excuse (not being. Motivated)... motivation shouldnt have to be created... Does that sound correct?

I want to make sure I understand. Motivation is truly just a manufactured imaginary reason to do things. Choose what I want to do and be and just do it... right??? No manufactured motivation needed. Am I on the right track?