Nexeternity

@MarkusR Touche. Stubborness and arrogance gets spectacularly burned out of you as you progress and finally notice your egotism. Like the starwars lines : Luke "I am not afraid." Yoda "You will be... you will be."

@Leo Gura You sound like Jesus, love it!

I keep typing the first few words of this post and deleting them, I really cant find the words to describe this trip. It was the most powerful experience Ive had in my whole life. I think all the trips prior to this and the Vipassana retreat set the stage for it to happen. I was really afraid about working with the medicine. The last trip was tremendously strong, I remember my ego getting obliterated and my arrogance shown to my face, my tears of anguish and screams of rage that were let out from that trip. So I smoked it full of fear and as it started to come on I remembered. I remember what this medicine was like, my ego disolved but I stayed conscious. I tried as hard as I could to not interfere but also not to not interfere. So it was this weird kind of trying not to try but also trying not to not try also. I let it happen by itself, as best as I could. And as the beauty set in, the mind got really quiet, the anxiety and fear vanished, the faith welled up in me like never before. I saw what I have always been seeing and always will see. That I am not doing any of this, that its all happening by itself and each move is inevitable, that my arrogance and unconscious fear stands in the way of my peace, freedom, and authenticity. It was all so beautiful and peaceful. I know I have this fear in me, and I dont think Ill ever understand it fully. Just have to keep dissolving it with the practices, tripping, facing my fears, and being as honest and authentic as I can. I really love you guys! Thanks for being here to share with.

@Nahm

@herghly Thanks man! Yes definately, every single trip has gotten deeper for me. I see it as something Ill do my whole life to keep growing, like reading or meditating. Even the idea of becoming a shaman becomes really enticing. I think the trick is actually working the insights and inspirations in between the trips. If you do that you set yourself up to get deeper insights and diferent inspirations the next trip.

Do both. You should notice benefits from doing both shadow work and enlightenment practices... They both will kind of start blending into each other in the long run and complement each other. Do you not want to do shadow work or do you think its a waste of time and you should just focus on enlightenment? They are both so good.

@JustinS Thanks man! Beautiful picture. Thanks for the festival info.

Existential Lovers How to dissolve that labyrinth of concepts? That trap us, separate us, cause anxiety, cause ambition. If everything we want is right here? Those words that like a house of cards construct desires, Fears, and pains. But even pain is delicious, and marvelous, mysterious. The source, God? Outside and inside is found what is looked for. Feeling the inevitable flow, catching the inescapable moment. Knowing that you are doing good, that there was no way to make a mistake. Without meaning and non meaning, nor purpose or non purpose, Without doing or non doing, no observer, no I. Only Being and non being, together and inseparable. Lovers. Existential lovers.

@JustinS nice share!

I wish I could be vegan... but everyone I know eats meat, eggs, and cheese.... and I start getting really weak and skinny and anemic when I try to do it. I get bored too... its like lentils, brown rice, oatmeal, and the same vegetables and fruits every day... Maybe I need to get more creative.

lol I love how Leo used to berate us at the end of his videos about us not really being commited to getting enlightened. Miss those times.

"You want to be fully sober. Lucid. Its like, the world is made out of glass. Not a single thought, not a single theory... just... total quiet" - by Leo from 10 things you want that you dont know that you want By far the most powerful experience Ive had in my whole life. It rivals the 5 meo experiences but also I feel like they make a great combination. One is a powerful blast of consciousness, the other is a a slow revving up that just rewires your mind. The first few days were pretty bad, the last few days were heaven. I got a taste of such silence, I saw it as my identity as all around that nothing/silence changed around me. When I got out I had samadhi experiences with the people i had conversations with. It felt like I was them. Insights: Getting rid of my phone and facebook account. I dont need them, I can use email and skype. Too distracting. Need to meditate more, 2 hours a day minimum, 3 hours on weekends. We are 100% responsible for our own suffering by our aversion and craving. It was really clear. Dont push yourself so hard that you generate negativity. That happened to me in a couple of strong determination sits. Need to always remember I am doing this out of love and compassion for myself and others Slow down. Try to do every single thing every day as mindfully as you can. People do what they do out of ignorance. If they try and hurt you its because they dont know better. Sometimes you have to be firm in your communications but do it out of love and compassion for yourself and the other person. The aggressor always suffers more than the victim believe it or not. Cut down on the theory, amp up the practices. And lastly... the point of this whole post... Do one of these!!! Really! If I just convince one person to do it than this post will be worth it. Sorry to be dramatic and cliche but the experience was just too strong.

@Sahil Pandit Thanks man!!! Awesome! @Space Thanks!! Awesome... yea just have to keep hitting the retreats! For the well being of all @Leo Gura Haha hey thanks alot! Im so tempted to go serve full time at the different centers. Closest thing to being a monk that I see actually working for me, at least for a few years. But the life purpose would be put on hold dont think that will work. @JustinS Thanks for the video man! Ive been trying the semen retention thing... really hard for me.

@Mighty Mouse @Nahm Hehe yea, sorry so excited from it! Just got home. Thanks!!!

@Ilya yea the booklist is sick its like if you keep feeding your mind such good info start just starts transforming for you. yes you have to contemplate and implement but it's hard not to when you start getting such good theory fed to you.

Maybe try more grounding? Breathing exercises, regular exercise, be really choosy about your food. journal a lot, try and keep reminding yourself of your vision for when you get negative. try doing healing/shadow work to integrate all that negative stuff faster so you can stabilize quicker. not sure what else to say. Maybe setup daily routines and stabalize other aspects of your life so that bleeds into your emotional life.

Amazing post! thanks for sharing

@JustinS is it pure? sometimes they have uppers in them

All at once I found myself wrapped in a flame-colored cloud. For an instant I thought of fire, and immense conflagration somewhere close by in that great city; the next, I knew that the fire was within myself. Directly afterward there came upon me a sense of exultation, of immense joyousness accompanied or immediately followed by an intellectual illumination impossible to describe. Among other things, I did not merely come to believe, but I saw that the universe is not composed of dead matter, but is, on the contrary, a living Presence; I became conscious in myself of eternal life. It was not a conviction that I would have eternal life, but a consciousness that I possessed eternal life then; I saw that all men are immortal; that the cosmic order is such that without any peradventure all things work together for the good of each and all; that the foundation principle of the world, of all the worlds, is what we call love, and the happiness of each and all is in the long run absolutely certain. (R. M. Bucke)

I feel like my brain is fried. I think I took too many psyches too fast. Still I learned alot. Everything is alive, everything has a life, a spirit, an intelligence. Thats why its so important to keep things clean and ordered in ones house, in ones mind, in ones affairs and relationships. I saw how love was the motive behind all things, even anger and hate. Somehow I saw that love was the fabric of that too. Everything is really beautiful. The music felt so beautiful I thought it would kill me. I cried alot. Lots of pain still needs to be healed, attended too, purged, made aware of. Same for fears. My body would not stop moving. I think it might have been resistance to looking inside as deep as I could at my fears. Even the shaman said “Are you okay kid? Relax, rest." This shamanic path goes deep and it's full of suffering. I understand now why a psychologist I had, she used to work a lot with shamanism, why she said that she thought people could grow and learn through enjoyment and play rather than suffering. This path is a fucked up one. But the joy is unbelievable as well. The pleasure and love you feel, the heightening of consciousness that can't really be conceptualized, the connection to just Being, the walking out within the trees and feeling like you are on Pandora from the movie Avatar. Running around like I was in my body for the first time. Looking in the mirror and being so grateful and joyous to have a body. Seeing the importance of stretching to keep the body flexible, and drinking clean water. Really feeling that information sink in to my body, not just as some cool idea or theory. Still, storming the gates of heaven through these medicines is a crazy endeavour. But to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.

@Nahm thanks! Thanks for being there to share with

@Joseph Maynor Thanks man. I am really grateful.

Ok this is going to sound crazy but... I met this sikh kundalini yogi once who told me he and his wife knew right away they were getting married when they met. Before speaking a word. I also met this really spiritual guy who dreamed and saw his future wife before meeting her. So another option is get really hardcore into spirituality lol I know not very practical advice heh

It took me like 7 years of pickup to get really good results heh. What really helped was working at a place where i had to interact with alot of new people everyday. Another thing that helps is nailing your life purpose and making progress on it. That will make you very happy and it will make you passionate and interesting. Running into a girl in that state is killer, its like life picks up the girl for you. Finding your soulmate by tara springett is a really good book for relationships.