Nexeternity

Its a sad day for me... first time in 3 years that I dont excitedly watch Leos sunday video! I know ego backlash quite well. I think it comes from the forcing... forcing yourself to meditate, to change habits, even to love, to be mindful. It comes from believing life is hard, from believing you should be a certain way, from not forgiving yourself and judging yourself... From not being centered in the love that we are. I did the suffer mindfully thing lots of times... but its basically us believing things that arent true. Its the way your higher self is letting you know you have a false belief or your not alligned with who you are and what you want to do in life. We are doing it to ourselves! If you believe things are hard they will be hard... we have so much freedom that we will create our experience through our beliefs like that. Enjoy yourself. Love yourself. Be happy and free.

@Shin nice

I have faith in something. They say masculine compassion is about enforcing necessary boundaries and facing harsh truths. But at the highest levels... its seems like compassion should be about eliminating boundaries and sharing the gentle, soft, totally loving, joyful, and peaceful Truth. Like the story of Ryokan... he had a rebellious nephew who his family wanted to help. All ryokan did was give him one deep look, eyes filled with tears and that was enough to heal the boy, to change him for the better. No harsh boundaries, no harsh truths... Only Love.

@SpiritualKitten hey! I put all my trip reports on the forum. you can run a search for it or look at my post history on my profile. @Nahm Hey thanks!

Hey guys! I tried this practice out and its worked on me like crazy. They say that everything in existence already exists, so that enlightened society full of peace, love, and joy that will exist in 1000 years is connected to this Now moment and in a sense its happening Now, since time doesnt exists and everything happens Now... Yea I know weird but hey... So I tried it out, just imagined that society already existing now and how blissful that would make me... And it kind of brought me into this psychedelic high and my body started twisting, I felt tensions and contractions melting away from my body, resistances clearing up... Just really upped my vibration to say the least. Anyone want to try something like this and write about what they felt?

@Shin nice

I discovered this cool way to do neti neti... forgive me if something like this was already posted! So you stand in the sun, arms wide to your sides or hanging comfortably, standing as balanced and comfortably as you can. Now the idea is to feel into the space that sorrounds you and goes through you. The idea is that every single perception occurs within this space. Your visual field, the things you hear, the feelings in your body, even your thoughts occur in some space usually in what seems to be the space in your head. Now try to feel into this space and as such into all these perceptions at once trying to keep a relatively calm mind. Now with conviction think to yourself "not me" since you know that you cant be anything you observe... Now genuinly ask "what am i? And boom, theres a good chance you´ll pop into your nothingness, asboluteness.

Well tecnically speaking you are what you observe because what you are observing is the Absolute, but the thing is that we normally dont contextualize it that way, when we think we observe things, we are not thinking, oh shit, this thing I am observing is God. So yea... the point of doing the "not me" is to get that shift so you do see the Absolute in everything... after that then the not me would be irrelevent.

@Shin heh okay Ill send you some silence

This is silly but.., I get now what they say about you forgetting what it was like before the enlightenment... Its like you believed the story and dreaming so strongly... everything was so contracted... or seemed to be... Such a weird thing existence is!

When the enlightenment stuff started coming on I felt this...

This past week I have been getting confident about whats happened to me but last night I had this weird sleep paralysis experience with what seemed like anxiety and fear filled astral projection with no real conscious control, it felt like a dream. Feel great now... but that blindsighted me a bit! It reminded me of this blog post by Leo https://actualized.org/insights/dont-get-cocky

Practice forgiving, loving, and appreciating the bad guys

There is no lack!!!

@Mu_ Thanks

I am getting mini dark nights of the soul, or whatever I think that means heh Its like fear comes up, existential dread, fear of losing my mind to the love and unity of everything, of not being able to function. Stuff like that. I usually just forgive my fears, remind myself that nothing I feel can harm me, that everything is love and just let it be. Its been working out

This morning I did this practice where I forgave everything! Forgave my self, others, all of life in general, anything and everything heh... it was really liberating and opening and enlightening! And I had this really cool experience where I did something I would normally be afraid of doing but I felt like I was everything and nothing and that appearances couldnt harm me so it took away the fear and I did it well! I also had this moment where I lost approval from my coworkers for the perspective I held and I felt it trigger in my body the belief that I could be harmed, or hurt, or lacking in general if they didnt approve of me but I saw it, saw it wasnt true and it kind of let go! The feelings of anxiety from the event just melted away. All this stuff is so exciting!

Ive been doing a practice every once in a while where I write what I am greatful for and what i am sorry for. For the stuff I am sorry for I also write loving reasons why I did those things, the positive intent behind it. Trying to do the loving your sins approach Feels like it works! The more love you feel, the less "bad" things you end up doing.

Its good to let people know whats going on. Be honest that your body is cleaning itself up... maybe even tell people that dont understand the concept that you are a bit sick or under the weather. Its great to have loving friends that you can share with. Without being too overbearing or needy, just both of you sharing the stuff that is being purged is really cathartic and healing by itself. my 2 cents...

I think I am getting enlightened. Its like... I feel like I am the space and the silence, that I am not located anywhere. My body feels uncontracted and my sense of self just a story thats spinning but not really as real as that space and silence that allows it to be. Its really good

@luckieluuke I mean I know most of the stuff he is teaching just from enlightenment and transformation study in general, peter ralston, ruper spira, all the stuff on Leos book list... but he has a really cool way of presenting the teachings, cool little twists on these perspectives. Just got to give it a try and see if it resonates with you or not

@non_nothing I am just a regular guy, dont let the title fool you. I didnt really think about that actually... but I have heard of Bentinho for a few years now from youtube, and I like his videos. I dont really think they are trying to hack people.

We dont know whats up with life. Seriously, we dont know. Like really. Really really. Maybe this world is an infinite suffering machine so that we appreciate more the world that shows up after we die. Who knows? The important thing is... heal yourself. Love yourself. Do what you need to do to feel good. Take it easy. Relax. Be easy on yourself. Hope you feel better soon friend.

I feel almost like a lion. The primal energy feels super activated. I want to roar.