Nexeternity

Oh man. This was the best thing ever. I went to a ceremony today where we smoked the toad venom. I was pretty anxious and a bit scared the whole time prior to taking it. There was 9 of us and all but one had pretty tough trips. Screaming, crying, tensing up, having to go sit alone after the ceremony to lick their wounds from the trip. I was the last one. I knew from one of my ayahuasca trips that this could be bad for me too. But I also knew that the fact that I was prepared to have a bad trip and even to die was ironically what could help me not have a bad one. Of course once it hits I didn't know how I would react. So I smoke it and everything goes white. My last thought I remember was “Oh shit… so I guess this is the part where I disappear. Then I remember this infinite vortex sort of image and my time and space getting fucked with, but I had felt that before on an ayahuasca trip. I was knocked out, I saw the film later and I spent 6 minutes on the floor. I moved my arms and legs some in circular motions but not much. When I came back, oh man. I started cracking up! I went non dual for a good 15 minutes, everything was happening by itself, everything was beautiful, I was so happy. The diference in awareness was huge, I felt like I was seeing how things "really are." Then when I went to hug the shamans assistant, she was a pretty cute girl, and the old unhealed wounds from my past break up surfaced. I cried and felt healing taking place. I came down again to my ordinary state pretty quickly. I saw the ego come back, the subtle little fear in the background that I could feel in my stomach, the worrying what other people think, the overthinking etc. Its really crazy, we are all really living in fear as egos. Theres no other way it could be . Its obviously not totally disabling but the diference I felt was huge! I was dancing around, talking, feeling totally authentic with my body and my expressions, and I didn't know anybody at the ceremony from before. And I could feel the shyness, the introversion, the ego as it formed back down. It was much less but still. The shaman and his assisant congratulated me, they said that from the way I reacted I must be pretty clean. I guess all that meditation, self enquiry, contemplation, shadow work and PD have been paying off heh. I feel even more motivated to eat healthy, to meditate, to be more authentic, to work on healing and opening up those scared chakras. I remember at one point I looked at the shaman and said “This is amazing, and there are no need for questions. Everything is just perfect” Thank you so much everyone in this community for the support and the motivation to do this! Even the people with the worst trips felt lots of peace after and want to do it again. Really really really cool. Heres a link to a video I uploaded to my google drive if anyone wants to check it out!! https://drive.google.com/file/d/1S00G_l8TOU9EWXJtAupEd1ysEzVkDme7/view?usp=sharing Love you all

Hey guys! I wrote a poem of the experience, wanted to share Green grass surrounds me, The sun shine enshrines me. Heaven is clear, the gateway is near. Inhaling venoms smoke, White light is what spoke. A vortex is shown, Time, space are unknown. Infinity was born. Laughter, the joy. Freedom, one soul. Duality no more. The Kingdom is sown . Beauty untouched. Fear was for nought! Come to this place. Stay and be flown. Life, Death are no more. Infinity is all.

@realname no didn't hear it, I was somewhere else for like 6 min! the lawn mower gets turned on when I moaned so the neighbors don't freak out from all the noises heh not sure what he sprayed, probably some herbal shaman thing heh i think him stepping over me was to see that I was okay. He didn't hurt me. btw with his white hair he straight up looked like Gandalf from lord of the rings with the hightened awareness, it was awesome

@Swagala But Leo is funnier

@aurum I once wanted to become open to seeing proof of an angel and so I asked to see one. In not so long a time I was getting off the train and exchanged smiles with this older beautiful woman... it was really fast, as soon as I got off the train I kept thinking... was that the proof I was asking for?

Me too. I hear them when the energy is weird around me or it can be random too. "What the fuck is that!" is my usual reactive thought heh

Strange loopy questions: Do I love my life because I love my life, or do I love my life because I love my life? Do I hate my life because I hate my life, or do I hate my life because I hate my life? Do I believe something because I believe it, or do I believe something because I believe it? Does existence exist because I say it does, or does existence exist because I say it does? Nice job trying us to hit samadhi at the end there Leo! hehe loved it

Its funny how both teal swan and leo cut their usual intros out of their videos. Its like they just want to cut straight to the chase and dish out the juicy insights with the least amount of fluff

Strange loops

@nexusoflife Thanks so much for doing your trips and sharing them, they are really inspiring. Thanks for the Mongolian Overtone Singer share, fell in love with it.

I bought the booklist early this year and it changed my life. So so amazing.

@Leo Gura Do you know any reasons why white cotton garments promote higher consciousness?

Hey guys! Wasnt going to write up a trip report this time, I didnt think there was anything super interesting or flashy to share... but then I thought I might as well. It was a tough trip, lots of angst, crying, tons of throwing up. I see how Ive suppressed and denied so many needs, expressions, feelings... just have held them down so many times in my life. I got really simple insights like, hang out with a friend when you need to, go get laid when you need to. You are not enlightened, dont try to transcend all your basic needs. Saw the importance of keeping shit clean and orderly. I know basic stuff but sometimes I dont apply it. Meditate, breathe deep, take in sun, excercise, diet, and sleep for energy. Do yoga every day. More and more tension is getting dissolved and healed, physically, emotionally, psychologically. And I got really exciting news... I found out about a 5 meo shaman! Cant wait to go ahead and do that trip. The person described it as a hose being plugged into your spine shooting you a blast of kundalini heh

Through some synchronicities I got my hands on this book. I wanted to recommend it to whoever might see this. Its really really good.

I work in a kitchen, whenever I get cut or burnt I scream out "ahhh I feel so alive right now" or "this is awesome!" or something to that effect. My coworkers think Im nuts or some kind of masochist heh You can find the magic in anything if you try.

@Samuel Garcia You have to trust that there is a benevolent spirit or intelligence thats alive in the plant that wants to help you. I dont know how you do it heh, you just do it with respect, humility, and calmly I guess would be the best way to put it. It was pretty clear. Hard to remember everything afterwards but I think the more you trip the more you can retain the insights.

Hey guys, here to share my trip again. I was encouraged this time to throw up since last time I had held in my nausea. They told me it was to let go of all the toxins inside you and at the same time help to get all the spiritually negative stuff out of you too. I threw up alot. The plant showed me my arrogance. Every selfish move Ive made in my life. When it would start to get dark I asked it gently to be loving with me and show me compassion. I would ask who I was and as she would show me I started getting thoughts "shit maybe I dont want to know". The infinity of it was scary but I surrendered to it pretty well. At times I felt my body totally disappearing, it was scary but I kept cycling threw thanking the plant, asking for its kindness, surrendering and keeping quiet. I knew that all scary things were my projections and that it would pass so I would remind myself of that too. I saw how I mistreat my body with food and drink, and with tension, I saw the unconscious suffering of myself and the world and cried. I went threw cycles of feeling the grief, purging and healing. I felt my chakras burst out energy, the tension and fear in my abdominal area was softened alot too. I saw how at my job we create alot of trash and how recycling and taking care of the planet is so important since its part of us. It was really great trip. I drank half of what I drank last time but went much deeper. I think because I was more humble, had less expectations, wasnt as overwhelmed by all the effects. I came in with clearer intentions as well. I recommend it tremendously but at the same time I see how its really scary and hard to face and work through all this unconscious behavior. At brief times in the trip I thought, man maybe I just want to sleep through life, be more "normal", this can be really hard work. But on the other side the rewards are worth it, that feeling of waking up more, of being freer.

@ajasatya Oh sorry about that! Ok Ill post on there.

Allright guys, I couldnt help myself! This book is too good. Its basically all the wisdom from all his youtube videos intermingled with tons of practical excercises in between. No dogma, morality, or fluff. No indoctrination, at least from my perspective. What I really love about it is that he really transmits to you the magical quality of being a realized Yogi and how you can do it too with diligent practice but without having to torture yourself in the process. I really wanted to share this heh. https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Engineering-Yogis-Guide-Joy-ebook/dp/B01B0K98D8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1508229025&sr=8-1&keywords=inner+engineering

Dont think of it as not making that money, think of it as spending that money on something that will make your life way better.

I think what he means is that he doesn't know how he moves his body, talks, or does anything at all. We don't either it's just in a state of regular consciousness it seems like we do. But yea, things happen by themselves without us knowing how. It's mystical.

Try putting yourself in someone elses perspective. That always helps. Remember times when youve been loved or felt loved and how great it felt. Realize you can be that source for others as well. Realize that loving others and being unselfish is tecnically the more "selfish" way to behave. You will be much happier that way because you will cultivate your conection to your environment and your energy will flow better, you wont feel as blocked by a sense of seperation. Be careful with forcing yourself too much because being loving to recieve something in return can be smelled by others and it comes out as inauthentic. You could say that would be manipulation, not love. Keep doing enlightenment work, meditation, self inquiry. As your sense of identity starts breaking down you will just be able to act more naturally and authentically and it wont matter what outer actions you take, your conection to Being will do most of the heavy lifting in the love department. Treat yourself nicely, try to keep your self talk as if you were talking to a little kid, soft, accepting, understanding. The way you treat yourself will start showing in the way you treat others.