ItsMeIA

Me and my girlfriend are dating for about 10 months now. We broke up once because of this but decided that because we love each other we should give a real try to solving this. Basically there is a feeling that "something is off" for some time now. The thing is , we usually meet on the weekends so we wanna go out and just chill out, have some fun and generally feel that love and connectedness to other people. We wanna feel like a normal couple going out having fun but usually end up staying at her place. When we do go out with friends it feel boring and forced and lame. I am looking all over the place for solutions for about 2 months but didn't really find anything. We tried even stuff like alcohol and weed just to see if it changes anything but that didn't work either. What is the missing piece of the puzzle? plz help i can't stand it anymore because i love her so fucking much but at the same time can't go out and have fun with her outside. Tnx

She want's to meet new people, i just wanna losen up abd have light fun experiences. The thing is we are also kinda into different stuff so it's hard to find common ground. We went to the movies yesterday but at the begining of the movie she felt sick so we left. She made an honest admition that her hypochondria is the main reason she can't have fun outaide. Everytime she develops some psychological illness or symptoms that make her uncomfortable and wanting to leave. She also said she is going to work on this because she's had enough and she wants her life back. I juat feel helpless infront of this... what can we do to enjoy outside of the house like this??

Thanks for the advice! I'm not sure she will do mdma but we definetly try going out together, without friends. Hell, maybe if we go out together we will meet ppl that will become our group

So me and my GF date for half a year now. The only reason i fell in love with her is because she is open minded to self development and is taking action on her problems to solve them instead of bitching and moaning. NO FEMALE I ENCOUNTERED IN MY LIFE HAD THOSE QUALITIES. Anyway, now it's the phase where we start getting deep... Sharing our shadow sides. So long story short, I thought it'll be a good idea to start a brutally honest talk in the fucking whatsapp, not seeing that this is a terrible platform for heart talk (we did these talks in person up until now). I've shared with her that i get triggered sometimes by her looks because it doesn't match what i've been conditioned to believe a woman should look like (giant ass/tits, perfect face etc.) and that hit her on a very deep and personal level because she has a trauma around her looks. Yesterday we met and she cried a lot, and i'm sort of puzzled about how what i've said caused this and what should i do... Now it just feels like i shouldn't be honest with people because i always end up hurting them and feel so much self hate for that because it's not the first time i don't understand how i end up hurting the one i love the most. I also have an irrational expectation that she "just supposed to understand" that this is not what i really think of her because i'm in love so deeply with this woman that it goes beyond words or looks... She is really one of a kind for me. Not perfect but i accept that and she accepts me (at least i hope). What should i do? She is hurt and claims it'll take her time to heal and i have no fucking idea how being honest got us to this situation. I thought being honest will be an objective experience of two somewhat aware beings. Turns out it went down hill to reactive and drama land where awareness is long out of sight. Thanks for the help!

Amen to that. That's why being honest is so critical... and scary

didn't expect so many helping hands... THANK YOU ALL. I've spoke with her the day after and focused on 1) realizing the big picture of us reacting to our ego and 2) reminding ourselfs why we are together in the first place. Worked really well actually and now we are moving forward On any case, yeah a lot of work is ahead of us, but we are ready. Hate to admit it but i do think and act as though we are perfect... kind of a theme around my life that i don't know how to tackle.

Probably the authentic self After looking at some roles i played in my life i realized that the way these fucked me up is that i justified actions which didn't serve the authentic me but the ego (which of course made tons of problems down the road).

This will not be easy, but the journey will take you to places byeond your wildest dreams, if you will let it. Very important to work on inner game as well. Millioners become millioners way before they have the money... Good luck

Thanks for replying man I also have this feeling of "fuck that" with all the things my parents wanted me to do. Very important in commiting to the path of self actualization. On any case, i didn't quite underatand how i'm "in the middle". Is it because i get "muse" but at the same time hold on to limiting beliefes? And to answer your questions: this is not about the money, it's about my desire for people to recive the gift that i've been handed (That is not exlucive to music btw). My fear now is more like "how will i do personal development, have multiple businesses that contribute to the world and tour at the same time?" Anyway i think i've got the answer i needed after thinking this through. Inner game first, then everything will resolve itself cuz the root has been treated.

I'm certain that people have encountered this dilemma before. Let me start with some background: Here in Israel, at the age of 18 we have to do military service of about 2.6 years. At first i tried to just hum along and go through it, but after about 3 months i had a strong intuition about my life purpose which is to go out of the military and form a successful metalcore/post hardcore band. Before i knew it i became a self development junkie and started a meditation habit and experimented with a lot of stuff. So as time went by i did all things necessary to get out of the army (pretending to have mental problems in front of professional psychiatrists and such) and finally after 4 months got out of there. About a month and a half passed by and now some demons started to come out. Fears are starting to come up and it feels so hard and confusing. "Am i doing the right thing? Is this really what i am passionate about? ". After applying some self awareness i discovered that i have a self loving problem. Always looking for why i'm not functioning but in very suddle ways. In the end i managed to figure out that it boils to the limiting believe of "I am not enough". On the other hand, there is this other thing. Some months ago i planned with my mentor (who's now in an army jail for not wanting to serve) exactly how i will achieve my short term goals of learning all the basics of music and music production. This involves How much I will earn in 8 month to afford the education and materiel stuff needed to produce music and what skill level i'll be at. All of the people around me are expecting that i'll do this progression on the outside while my intuition says "work on all your fears and problems, then learn what you need". In addition to all of this, my sense of purpose is not as strong as it used to be and i am doubt-full of my passions. One last important point is that ideas for awesome songs just come to my head at times and they don't stop. Sometimes at uncomfortable moments but i record or write them anyway. still happens to me even in these doubt full days. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you resolve this? I usually don't ask for suggestions like this but this is too critical of a decision to take lightly. Thanks in advance Idan