AlmostActualized

@Dawson I was wondering if you can put the link of the video that Leo eluded on shrooms. Thanks...

@Natalya I am definitely going to read that book. Thanks the reviews are very good. @Jsimpson I really do love myself, but I just feel that I wouldn't put anything in front of my business to jeopardize it's success. I just have to find someone that is willing to see that from day one and see how it goes. Sometimes I feel that until I retire and have time for a relationship, until then I'll be able to have a long lasting relationship. Or maybe my ex needed too much attention.

@Darkling27 Makes perfect sense thanks for your point of view. @MIA.RIVEL Yeah my sister is still definitely that girl you once were, hopefully she wakes up. But she just makes so much per year idk if she ever will. Okay no more worrying, I wont try to save her, fuck it, she'll learn. @everyone Thanks for all your advice/viewpoints.

Several of my friends have money problems, including my sister. It's not like they don't have good jobs, my sister has a really good paying job as a professor at SDSU and my parents sometimes still help her pay for stuff. Yet she always has the latest fashion and newest iPhone, I swear I have seen her closet and she still has clothes with tags just hanging. I believe my sister along with millions of other people have gotten brain washed by the system that they need to have the latest and greatest. I really want to help my sister and close friends but when I try, they tend to get mad. I have tried so many approaches but they have all failed, they are still barely making ends meet. Any thoughts on how I should approach them, would be greatly appreciated.

@cozmo I have to disagree that "everyone is here for themselves." I can give you a ton load of people that truly like to help with nothing in return. Volunteers at all the non profits, when I buy toys to children that mailed Santa Claus letters, the list goes on. Most people are here for themselves but NOT everyone. If you're gonna be selfish then don't expect people to be there for you when you need someone.

@GoldenAge Philosopher This is what happened to me, I thought math and working with numbers was the greatest thing ever. I became a QC inspector for Boeing. Then I became so miserable, because it just became so repetitive an boring, Then I quit and went to culinary school, became a chef at Disneyland, then I quit that because of all of the how my plate that took me 15 minutes to make would just get tossed out if it was sitting in the warmer for more than 2 minutes. All because someone else didn't finish their plate on time. Plus Disneyland had a bunch of politics and drama. I then started to do Webdesign started my own business and haven't looked back. In hence from my experience is that you will not know how great the job/career will be until you are actually working. Even if you are making lots of money but if you are miserable get the f out. It will eat your life away and you will just be miserable with your family and friends. You'll hate your life man. Your young try different careers and see which one you like. You'll find the right one, but just focus on one at a time, don't be bouncing around mid school year focusing on another one. Hopefully I helped, if so give me thumbs up...

Wow Wow Wow, Stop Stop Stop. You're all over the place man, your brain is like a ping pong ball in the Balls of Furry final match. LOL. Okay on a more serious note I was there about 10 years ago barely starting out, hungry but with no direction. What you need is to focus on is getting your priorities straight and focus on where the money is. Webdesign, SEO, AdWords is fucking huge. Do this and ONLY this, get AdWords Certified, Analytics Certified, market your company in AdWords and in SEO. When you get new clients design their websites for cheap but try to lock them in to a monthly SEO/AdWords contract, make sure you make killer Landing Pages, with heatmaps, ROI, clickfraud, all of that. Do not team up with another company unless it's your last option. From my experience teaming up with another company or having a business partner(s) is like a bf/gf relationship but without the makeup sex. They will always want what is best for them because your the hungry small fish. If you ever do team up put everything in writing signed and dated with a blue pen. My next business consulting will be at $350 per hour.

Congrats on having the courage to finally break it up for good. I know how hard it can be, usually it's the more mature person that ends up breaking up.

My mistake you are absolutely correct you were seeking more attention. In that note I don't find that as the problem, pretty much every female needs that. Careful because most men/boys just don’t care/know how to please that need of a female, all they care about is just busting a nut. I don't think you wanting attention was the problem in your relationship and ever will be. The problem that I see is the lack of love/communication/bonding from your family, stressful job, long hours, no day off for 6-7 months, seeing your bf every day, and lastly being cupped up like a chicken for long periods of time. I don’t think any relationship can withstand those extreme conditions. Hopefully I make more sense in this reply, next time I will reply in the morning vs at night when I am half awake. @Rosie

Truly amazing Rock Star story, a thought I would like to add. If she is married/engaged and you hit it, don't get sprung. LOL. On a more serious note, stop all contact with your exes. You are just opening up wounds, work on yourself. Apologize to yourself for all the bad you have done, and learn to give yourself another chance of loving yourself. Good luck Rock Star...

I would like to add to Mia's reply. I was the guy who gave the needy girl another try well more like 3 tries. It will NOT work trust me save yourself the pain, you have to move on. What helped me a lot was to talk it out, or to cry it out or just come back here, we'll help you out. The main reason that I strongly believe it will not work out is because if someone really cared about you they wouldn't forget your birthday and would stay with you even if you wouldn't see them for 3 months. It seems like he was in it just for the sex or for his own selfishness. I was extremely busy during my last relationship but I never ever forgot her birthday or our anniversary. Instead I was planning on surprising her. Rosie, like my ex you seem to be clingy and hopefully you work on that. I don't know of any guys out there that like that. In the next relationship I would suggest to just relax girl you got this, don't sike yourself out, and don't over analyze stuff.

Pete, Your reply made perfect sense, this is truly what happens. Now let me ask you this, what should one do when we have what we want? Let's say that hot girlfriend/boyfriend that one has been after. I would say just enjoy and be thankful for that person. But then I would be afraid to express myself too much because I wouldn't want to get their head too big and then make them feel like they are in control. From my experience I had an ex that had insecurity issues and she would tell me over and over “I know you can do better” so once I told her “you are the hottest girlfriend I have had.” Then her head got so big that she cheated on me. Any thoughts from Pete or anyone would be greatly appreciated. I just really don’t want to repeat this negative life event. Thanks…

Ayla, Great video suggestion. Leo, When/If you make this video don't forget to mention all the crazy thoughts that go through peoples heads on trying to get revenge or payback. How the victim should not go down to their level, keep your head up and move on.

Tell us somewhere that you traveled and you had a life changing experience. My Travel Journey: I went to Yosemite to go mountain biking with a friend who knows some good trails. I was following my friend up the mountain for a good two hours when he suddenly told me. “This is not the way we have to turn back around to the other trail we passed.” The trail is very narrow so I get off my bike, pick up the handle bars and start to turn the bike around. Then the side edge of the trail that I standing on suddenly collapsed, I immediately squeeze the brakes on the handle bars. The front tire and my balance was the only thing keeping me from falling 300 feet down this steep mountain side. Then my friend suddenly moves carefully towards me and starts to pull me back up along with my bike. When the edge of the trail collapsed I never knew my brain could process so much information so quickly. It literally felt like I processed ten thousand thoughts in one second. These are just the main thoughts that went through my head: The pain before my death, my family, my parents grieving, all of my memories with them, all of my life memories, why did I come to this trail, f**** if I survived I wouldn’t be able to walk, wait I can survive, think, brake pads, squeeze. There were honestly a lot more thoughts that went through my head. I just couldn’t believe that I was still alive. Life Changing Experience: I didn’t know my brain could process so much information so quickly. Since then I now appreciate and see life completely different. I love my family a lot more and have forgotten about any troubles I had. All of my worries just went away and it just felt like I was cleansed. I now see life in a completely new way. Right after being saved I felt thankfulness, love, no worries, appreciation of life, everything looks so beautiful, everything connected, and some other amazing emotions I can’t put words to.

I am curious to read how people can admit their mess up(s) in previous relationships and help the Actualized community grow from your mistakes so we don't repeat them. My Story: I was in a relationship for three years, after one year of us dating she moved in. On the second year I started focusing more on my business and less on the relationship, call it greed, call it selfishness but I was focused on making more money. In order to make more money I needed to be out in meetings more and coming home at 8 PM sometimes. Weekends were great, we would spend all weekend together and spend money, we traveled we had really good times. Mid second year she started accusing me of cheating because I was coming home late and because I wouldn't pick up her calls or reply quick (I never cheated on her or even thought of it). After a good six months of this bickering I found out she was cheating on me, I broke up with her immediately and have never looked back. Since then she has tried very hard to get back with me, but the trust is gone. I hate her for destroying our relationship, and hate myself for being so dumb and not seeing what was around the corner earlier. I honestly was going to propose to her this year in Cancun, I was already planning it out, damn imagine, lol. My Thoughts: I feel the reason that I messed up in the relationship was because I didn't pay more attention to her needs. DIdn't know that all she needed was to be held instead of getting mad/ignoring for her thinking I was cheating on her. In hence what I learned is that if I want to get into another relationship I will have to be more committed into spending more time with her and less committed to my business. Looking back at it I understand that she probably had some security issues herself and who knows what else. But this topic is to focus on yourself and to admit and grow from your mistakes.