benny

On the one hand, we need to drop our roles to express our authentic personalities. On the other hand, we need to install beliefs about ourselves into our self-image to create sustainable behavior change that reflects the kind of person we want to be. I'm having difficulty reconciling this. Any thoughts?

@LaraGreenbridge Not instilling self-belief; instilling a belief about the self (e.g. "I am confident"). I'm referring to the power of the self-image and how the beliefs within our self-images dictate our behaviors. With regards to who I want to become, the answer is multi-faceted. In a nutshell, I'm looking to develop mastery in the domains of health, life purpose, finances, relationships, self-understanding and spirituality, so I'm trying to create a self-image conducive to achieving success in each of these domains. The problem lies in authenticity, which falls under self-understanding. In order to become authentic, there can be no roles one tries to conform to, because these roles impose parameters about which behaviors are and are not in alignment with the role. On the other hand, to cultivate the personality and the life one desires, presumably one's self-image needs to be conducive to living their "dream life". So on the one hand, I see the importance of tailoring my self-image so that I can achieve the results I want in life, and on the other hand I see the necessity to let go of any roles I'm trying to conform to. As you mentioned, the two seem mutually exclusive. Perhaps there's a differences between seeing yourself a certain way, and feeling a need to conform to a certain role. You can see yourself as a hard worker, but still allow yourself time to be lazy. You can see yourself as a friendly person, but still acknowledge that you can be a dick every now and again.

Please and thank you.

Come from a troubled background. Been working on myself a lot these last few years. More often than not I'm happy, but still get very sad and withdrawn regularly enough to take notice. I have a nagging suspicious theres something deep in my psyche that's causing this and that it stems from childhood trauma. Is this possible? If so, how does it happen? How do I fix it?

@triadne Thanks. I'm thinking some reflection is in order.

They are presumably put into place to maintain survival, and often to maintain happiness. One could even argue that certain egoic mechanisms can be leveraged to grow and improve your lot in life. So why should I cast them away? To see reality unfiltered? Well what does that do for me? Is it simply Truth for Truth's sake? Does life become better when ego and its distortions are shed?

Hey guys. Could someone give me their take on the purpose(s) of small bets? From what I gather, they serve a few purposes: 1. They allow you to confirm or disconfirm that you enjoy working in alignment with your passion 2. They allow you to see if that particular project is something the market wants - that people are willing to buy Am I missing anything?

@Sahil Pandit Thanks Sahil! I'll try that out. So in the midst of an ego backlash, does this mean I should just mindfully observe, wait it out, and try to instill the change again? Or should I continue to try and implement the change in the midst of an ego backlash? Also, how and why is it during ego backlashes that we grow the most?

So in the midst of an ego backlash, does this mean I should just mindfully observe, wait it out, and try to instill the change again? Or should I continue to try and implement the change in the midst of an ego backlash? Also, how and why is it during ego backlashes that we grow the most?

Every three weeks for me.

To prevent burnout.

Throughout the course, Leo emphasizes the necessity of living in alignment with one's passion. He also recommends we read The Passion Hypothesis, which states that following your passion leads to trouble. Instead, we should be building career capital and then trading it in for the factors that make for a rewarding career. I'm curious what Leo himself has to say about this.

I'm currently going through my course notes again and I'm seeing that's the case. Sorry for creating a misleading thread.

Whoops! That's the book I meant. The passion hypothesis is a concept within the book. Sorry, read it a while ago. And just to put it out there, I am actively working the LPC. Currently putting together initial blueprints and researching my industry + industry leaders. Very exciting!

How are some of the ways one works through childhood trauma? Therapy comes to mind, but what else? How do I identify limiting beliefs? I know that they must be questioned and scrutinized until they dissolve or are replaced, but how do I initially identify them?

I'm having some trouble reconciling the seeming paradox between releasing all of your beliefs, whilst simultaneously searching for truth and understanding. The way my thinking has evolved so far, in a rough sense, is as follows: Initially I'd hear something that I liked the sound of, at which point I would unquestioningly adopt as a belief of mine, and then I'd regurgitate it as if it was something I actually knew and hadn't just heard. Over time I learned that I had to go and verify these things for myself - taking action and putting these notions to the test. Now when I hear something, I consciously put what I heard in the back of my mind, without adopting it as a belief, and I go and test it out in the real world. If the information produces favorable results, I now say to myself, "OK, there's strong support to suggest that this may be true." This is where I'm stuck. At what point can I confirm that a notion is in alignment with how reality works, and then adopt that notion as a belief? But at the same time aren't we supposed to be spiritually purifying ourselves, ridding ourselves of our beliefs? Any insight into the matter would be greatly appreciated.

@Rebec Thanks! Will check it out. @Leo Gura Would you mind elaborating on what it means to loosely hold a belief? Thanks Leo.

I've heard Leo talk about Eben Pagan before, giving him some high praise. Wondering if there are people in the community who have purchased any of his e-courses, and if so, what you thought of them.

Bump

Bump

Been on and off nofap. Have abstained for three-ish weeks now. Will see if it helps in time. The thick condom thing sounds promising... I'll buy a package. My number one priority is her pleasure. I do half an hour to an hour of foreplay before penetration. I'll see if I can keep going post-orgasm, but my dick gets incredibly sensitive right after I cum. Diet is impeccable. Will give it a read. Thanks! I'm circumcised. I've heard of kegal exercises. I'll have to do some research into them. Cheers! Will check em out. Thanks.

and how long did it take you to get good at it?

So I'm starting to do Identity work, meaning I'm trying to find/create myself. I've only just started studying the subject, but from what I understand, there are two components to the identity: a malleable component and a (somewhat) static component. The malleable component is our self-image, which comprises all the beliefs about who we are. These beliefs ultimately result in the behaviors we consistently exhibit, and so if we want lasting behavioral changes, we must change our self-image. The self-image is amenable to change in that you can uproot negative beliefs in the self-image and replace them with positive ones. In order to do this, a negative belief must first be identified. This leads me to my first question: 1. Once you've identified a negative belief in the self-image, how do you go about uprooting it? Next, we have our attitudes and values. These are the more static components of identity, which could be said to be the characteristics which embody "finding oneself". These are largely discovered through trial and error, as well as through value and strength assessments. Finally, once you've built your identity/ego up, and you have made it strong and healthy, you can then transcend the ego into a state of selflessness. This stage is down the line for me. Right now I need to strengthen my ego. This leads me to my second and third questions: 1. How do I strengthen the ego, other than doing identity work? 2. Are there any facets to identity that I'm missing? In other words, are there gaps in my understanding? Thanks for reading!

@LaucherJunge I figured that just going with the flow is the best course of action. Thanks!

Hey all. When I try to do visualization exercises the scene is always interrupted by imagery I don't want to be in the visualization. For instance, if I'm visualizing myself in a field, and I want it to be a bright, sunny day, oftentimes the weather becomes stormy. Sometimes black inkblots begin to cover the visual field. How do I solve this problem?