Anirban657

@Elham So what can I do to go up the stages? I am new to Philosophy.

College Student studying Philosophy. Aspiring to become a motivational speaker(life purpose).

I am doing work(everything is a work) but I am having trouble with doing work without any motive. This I cannot do anything without motive. This selflessness is beyond the mind and it has to come from there. But I need to struggle and do karma(work). I daily give all my resentments and insecurities to God. And I know that it does not take the suffering away but it does take the perception of suffering away. Hope it helps you if you are following karma yoga.

I am going to do karma yoga. The yoga of action is another name to it. This is basically Non-attachment to the every action that you do. Why I did not go for self-inquiry and meditation although I will do meditation daily but not self-inquiry because I think for me I want to impact the world through helping people raise the level of their consciousness. That's my life purpose. But there is karma yoga through which I am integrating enlightenment and life purpose. I think that's best for me. Right now I am 2 years meditator and I am reading Spiritual books of Swami Vivekananda. I met Maharajji at Belur Math in Kolkata and his enlightened presence made me see life more clearly. Therefore I am ready to surrender my life to this journey.

I have learnt the secret. Nature is for me and not me for nature. When I am helping someone, I am not doing him/her a favour, he is giving me an opportunity to help myself and worship God through him/her. I also think that I need to read more variety of spiritual ideas and not just Actualized.org. I have been biased towards Actualized.org and now I think I should be more open to other ideas.

I am not going to write in this journal anymore and I am changing to another journal called "Karma Yoga Journey". Thank you for reading!

In this self-actualization journal, I will write about how I calm the mind and how I use self-inquiry to know myself. I am Anirban, 19, from India, and I am a lover of singing, meditation and writing. My current condition on 1st May 2019- I feel a sensation of heaviness around my head which started when I was more neurotic than now and went through extreme physical stress. I will be working on that too and keep posting my progress. Of course I will calm the mind through meditation and know myself through self-inquiry. Right now I just finished doing self-inquiry and I don't think it went well. My mind was full of doubts if I was doing self-inquiry right. Also since I have a headache, I reduced the duration of meditation to 10 minutes. I will talk to my reiki master and also the doctors if they can help with the headache. I also think that maybe this headache is not really a physical issue but a psychosomatic issue. Maybe my mind is creating this pain to prevent me from doing meditation. But then if that's true why would it happen for over 1 year. Yes, its been 1 year. Hope I can continue this journal and not procrastinate or give up. Thanks for reading.

Although this journal is named Calming the mind and Self-inquiry, I am want to change the name to Calming the mind and Finding myself. I am getting lost in thoughts whenever I sit to self-inquire. This is tough for me. But I can meditate and recently I am interested in Karma Yoga. The science of doing work. I find it interesting and I am going to do it. I also an getting more active in life. Like trying to get a girlfriend and doing my studies more seriously. Swami Vivekananda says it very nicely in his book Karma Yoga that one can do work in a way that it will remove the ignorance from the mind and knowledge is revealed. I think that's a very worthy goal.

I will make my mind calm for self-inquiry. I am unable to quiet my mind right now. But I will hopefully be able to do it in the future. I am doing OM meditation and guided meditations. I am also doing reiki to heal my chakras.

So I now know my dharma and that we are with God after death. He also said that according to our karma we are born again accordingly. But honestly I am satisfied with that answer.

I talked to Maharajji at Belur Math. He said before birth and after death we are with God. He also said that my dharma is to study, help people, do good work and help my parents, and follow my passion. That is the meaning of life. In this dualistic human life that is dharma. I was at peace when he said this. His presence felt true. Maybe he is enlightened.

Today finally I am going to Belur Math. I will ask the guru what am I?Who am I? I want a hint at least to the absolute.

@Jkris I understand. The instructions cannot be simpler than this. Thank you!

@Jkris Is the I feeling or I ness the same that I answered. I was trying to perceive the I behind my eyes. But I am failing miserably. I don't really feel the I or I ness yet.

@Preetom It is a feeling of being present and aware of the surrounding objects and environment. It is located behind the eyes. It is fixed in the head. I am trying to perceive the I.

I will do this

@Robi Steel Ok now I am confused. Then I will just let the self-inquiry happen in its own. Whenever thoughts arise, I will ask to whom does this thought occur? I will then let it happen.

I did self-inquiry today. As long as I was aware of I, there were minimum thoughts or no thoughts. I mean whenever thoughts came,I asked to whom is this thought occuring? I think I have yet to perfect my self-inquiry. I don't know if I am making error. I am not thinking, I am aware of the I-ness. Language is such a barrier. I am not sure if I am able to convey my doubts properly. What if what I am doing correctly is thought of being as wrong a d the thing that I am doing wrong is being thought of as correct. I will go to the Ramakrishna Math this week or the next week and see if I can get my doubts cleared. Thanks for reading.

@Preetom It's fixed. It's a feeling of awareness itself. Whenever I am aware and there are no thoughts, awareness of I occurs. Basically it's like a point of view coming out from my eyes.

@Leo Gura When I try to be aware of who I am, I am able to perceive I-am-ness. Sri Ramana Maharishi says to hold on to the I-am-ness or I-ness. In the beginning of my self-inquiry I started by asking "Who am I? What am I?". Since I am not the body, I am holding on to the sense of I in the direct experience. I think that during self-inquiry I am supposed to do that. Correct me if I am wrong @Leo Gura

@Shin I am worried if I am doing self-enquiry correctly. I am trying to be aware of whatever I am. @Marinador I find it hard to accept since I did not experience it.

@Serotoninluv I get it. Wow it's so easy but the ego makes it seem difficult.

Today I did self-enquiry and I felt that I was able to go deeper. As Sri Ramana Maharishi says be aware of the I-thought. I tried doing that. I failed many times but once or twice I felt like I was making progress. Leo says be aware of the emptiness. I guess it's the same thing as being aware of the I-thought or I-ness or I-am-ness or awareness. I will continue this self-enquiry and practice meditation daily. I am seeking what I am seeking because I want freedom from my thoughts which create suffering for me.

@Zigzag Idiot I agree maybe you are right. I need to verify with my experience first. When I say that I am not the body then that's a really radical statement, it means that I am the Self, I am consciousness. I don't know what that means though except theoretically. Thanks for commenting.

I don't believe you but I am open to that possibility.