Anirban657

@sheenp24 I feel like I have to be accepted by myself.

I am experiencing intense monkey mind, very low self esteem, I hate my family at home for their high self esteem, I can't even stand properly in front of them, I hate living on this planet, I want to be alone... This is hell .. How to cope with this? I have been working hard for a few days and then I backslided in my results, I started doubting myself and I started skipping days, and I am really depressed and I feel like I will die at 17 after living a worthless life.

@Shin I meditate 30minutes per days.. Thank for the suggestion BTW.

I hope you talk about this topic in the future Leo. Psychology of marriage and a family life is a good idea to also discuss the love languages in a long term relationship.

The way to overcome the fear of rejection is to stop caring what others think about you and becoming comfortable about being rejected.

How to become a warrior?

I read in "The 7 habits of highly effectively people" by Stephen Covey that you can change your personality by doing Character Personal Development. It is all about the self image. The book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz also talks about this in a more practical way. Its all about the inner game.

Read Benjamin Franklin's autobiography... That's the ultimate fastest guide.

Happy Birthday Leo

I had an experience in the 10th grade which totally changed my mindset in life. It was the 10th grade final exams I was worried about. I did not know how I could score a good mark in science. I was going through depression and anxiety. I knew if I had to win. So I joined new tuitions classes. I had to travel very far away from home and it took a long time to travel but I had no choice. If I wanted to get really good results in a very short time I had to travel. The quality of classes were better and I could really improve on my scores. So I decided to commit to it and go 4 times every week alone even though I had never travelled alone for that long distance. That single commitment made me grow in a way I could never have experienced if I had not chosen the more difficult road to life. It was emotionally difficult to not care about what people thought about me on the public bus when I had a panic attack. It was difficult to ignore the naysayers and the bullies in the classes. I had to ignore them and do my thing despite all the negativity. I had to sacrifice my pleasures for the long term goal of getting a good result. I liked a girl whom I wanted to talk to but if I had done that I would have backslided and my performance would have deteriorated. I had to sacrifice the idea of getting into relationship with that girl for my studies. I also knew there will be plenty of girls in my future and to delay my gratification for a love affair was a more sensible option. Maybe it is not so hard when you read this but if you were in my shoes if would mean hell. My perspective was very limited at that time but I had a focused goal. So for 4 months every week not missing a single day I went to take those hard classes and got my desired results. I scored very good in the finals and I also made new friends and I experienced many others radical changes in my life and many opportunities to meet new people and gain new perspectives. All that I got from this one decision to do the hard thing. This changed the direction of my life. I am grateful for that. I did not know about meditation or other high consciousness habits back then but I had open-minded parents and siblings who inspired me. And I am grateful for that. But in many other areas of life I made many decisions where I chose the easier way too even though I had the inspiration and support. This experience taught me one thing - We make our own destiny. I was supposed to be go to my easier classes because that was what my parents chose for me but I did the opposite of what was supposed to happen. I chose the harder classes, that is something not supposed to happen. This experience made me think in a different way. I destroyed many of my limiting beliefs and dogmas. A chain of events occured in my life as a result of which I indirectly discovered Actualized.org . And now whenever a decision point comes to me I know in my heart that the hard choice means growth,opportunity and real success and fulfillment.

@LowPlanetary I play the harmonium and the DJ and that's the one thing I would choose from all other beautiful things in life. I believe its my life purpose but I also know that to live in mundane world I need to be able to pay my bills. Listen to your parents. If you don't like you parents' plan for you then make a plan for yourself and show the details to them. My parents wanted me to be an engineer because their colleague's kids did the same. But I made them talk to my counselor who explained to them about my plans. I also make my parents attend college events where they speak to college reps to know more about the realistic part of my career plan.?

Watch it as many times as you want.?

We will wish Leo and then we will celebrate ?

I read in a book that when somebody gets depressed they emerge as somebody different depending on what they focused on and what meaning they gave to it. Others who are don't have that intrinsic hope go on being depressed. What does that mean? What meaning do cancer survivors give to it? How do I give my depression a meaning? Please help me find this answer.

Who is an alpha male? How can I become an alpha male?

@Leo Gura,I had watched your How to not be a victim video over a year ago and I really got motivated to take control of my life. I have also been meditating for the last 5 months daily. But recently a lot of doubts started coming up in my head and I become judgemental and I also started demonizing a lot of people whom I didn’t like. I started becoming toxic and too concerned about morality. Now I am trying to be mindful whenever I start judging. But I am stuck in victim thinking. I am watching this video but I am not believing it. How do I move on?

@Scholar I will keep that in mind and do it. Thank you! I feel much better.

@Whywolf I am just bad in Maths, Physics and Chemistry in High School and I scored very bad in the last exams. That's why I am angry at myself. I think I am a victim but most of the time in my life I stood up for myself, my friends, family, anything that I thought was worth fighting for. Recently I am feeling depressed. I know deep inside I am not a victim in general. I studied by myself and I had no tutor. Time I am going to find a new tutor. I am currently watching Supergirl. The last few days have been a combo of depression and a lot of self help books reading. I need to get out of the bubble ASAP if I wish to stay normal. Victim or fighter is not a state of mind but is a choice, isn't it?

@Whywolf Just now I read that gaslighting article. Wow that tells me a lot about my situation. Reality for me is really distorted. How do I get out of this?

@Leo Gura I don't know about sense of identification but I felt like my inner resistance and fear that the ego create had disappeared.

I have been meditating for 5months now and I had one ego dissolution experience for a very short period of time(2-3hours). That day I woke up in the morning and I felt different. I was not judging anything nor did I have monkey mind or negative thoughts. I was feeling very positive too. So I woke up and brushed my teeth and ate and went to get a hair cut in a salon. I am an introvert but that day my ego was gone. I was able to talk freely without anxiety and also everybody behaved good to me. As I was in the salon, I started a conversation with another dude sitting beside me and I was shocked by the way he responded to me. The way he responded to be was something I had not experience for the last 2 years when I had social anxiety. Everybody there was so kind to me and I kind of felt like I became enlightened at the age of 17 . It felt like reality changed for me and the world was in my favour 100℅. I am not saying everything was perfect, I am just saying that I felt that way. (I had visited the salon for over a year before this experience and the people who behave good to me that day had behave differently to me previously. That day their response to my actions were completely different). I felt like I became the most authentic version of myself. After getting the hair cut, negative thoughts started to come up slowly. Afterwards again I felt anxiety and the way I used to feel normally. But that feeling, that experience, that authentic self, that spontaneity in my actions and that neutrality in my thoughts is something I want to feel again. I want to experience that again. So is it an ego dissolution experience or just positive thinking? I hope I was able to describe it properly.

I am sorry I am complaining. I was never this type of a person. Recently I had a traumatic experience. I will solve the problem. Thank you everybody for showing the support. Leo has created numerous videos and I got a human potential that is limitless. I have already started doing my work that I was feeling victim at. To achieve greatly I have to be willing to fail greatly. I realise I am in a very low conscious state and to self actualize I have to have a price. The world ain't no sunshine and rainbow. Its a very mean and nasty place and it will beat me down to my knees and keep me there permanently if I let it. I am the only one responsible for my own destiny. Thank you!

@Shaggy It happened to me too. In my case I became very neurotic and judgemental for a few days. I realised that being judgemental was ruining my peace of mind and happiness. So I started writing all my horrible judgements in a journal. By the way I am alright now and I realised that my mind was deceiving me into believing a fantasy. Now I am reading that journal I wrote and I realised the extent to which my mind deceived me. I think writing a journal is very helpful ,so you may try that. My mind made me do things that I wouldn't do if I am sane.

@Callum A you can believe whatever you want.

If you can visit India then why not.