xxBryantxx

When I first got together with my partner we both were Atheist/materialistic. It's been 5 years now, with a daughter and honestly it hasn't been the healthiest relationship. Lots of ups and downs. In hindsight I probably didn't make the best decisions in continuing the relationship this far, but thanks to that it has helped me to awaken. She has always faught me on my journey of Self help and now not too fond that I'm into spirituality. She's definitely made some growth these past years, but it always felt like a struggle trying to help her realize some things. Now that I'm practicing meditation, yoga and experimenting with some psychedelics I feel that the gap level of consciousness between us is far too great. I can't relate to her, and most of our conversations are probably nothing more than small talk. I guess I'm wondering if the grass is greener on the other side so to speak. The lease on our apartment ends in April and I'm considering in going our separate ways. Is that too rash or should I be more patient?

@electroBeam You're right. All limited things are impermanent and change is fundamental. I guess I need to work on my fear of the unknown more and let go of things that aren't serving my higher Self. I do see the beauty in that, but a lot of people would tell me that I'm being irrationally spontaneous and I tend to ask myself if they're right? I would trust the people here a bit more than the average person out there though.

@flume Yeah, I've been thinking about this for too long haven't I? ? I agree, I just need to summon the courage to pull the trigger on this. Thank you

@loub Thank you for your feedback. It's much appreciated. I don't feel that I'm being limited by anyone or anything nor do I want to hide from the world. I've actually been feeling pretty fulfilled and happy lately. I've got much to understand and it's been a learning process. It just sucks that I can't share my experiences and insights with my partner cause she'll just shrug it off and deem it as impossible. She's not open minded to other possibilities because of her materialist paradigm, so that leaves a strain in the relationship. I'm interested and passionate about all these topics that are brought up here in Actualized.org and she couldn't care less and views it as a waste of time.

We've had plenty of problems in the past and there are certain times they keep sprouting up here and there. The main problem we're having now is financial. I feel like I'm always covering for her, cause in my opinion she doesn't have a good grasp on handling her money and makes unwise decisions that leaves her broke. Before moving in with her, I would always have money saved for emergencies and now I'm as broke as she is. I don't make a lot of money, but I knew how to utilize it to progress myself when I was single. I just can't seem to do that anymore. She's always in crisis and getting herself into trouble which I have to bail her out of. I hear it from her and other people that it's just how a relationship works. but I rarely need a bail out and if I do, is from helping her. She calls me selfish for bringing up and expressing that I might want to leave cause I feel like I'm being held back. Any thoughts?

Yeah, I figured as much. When I hear a lot of people say the same thing, it sometimes makes me question what I've learned in this path. She makes me feel like I'm the crazy heartless one.

Wow, I'm going through something almost exactly, but I'm on the other side of the spectrum. I don't know what problems you have with your ex, but it seems very similar. My ex till this day still calls and texts. I don't bad mouth her, but I keep conversations to a minimum. Our thing was, at least from my point of view were that she victim controlled. I felt she created situations that she knew would press my buttons and when I brought it up to her attention, she would yell, cry and etc. I've caught her trying to flirt with my friend's through texts and try to hook up with some guy, plus plenty of stuff like that. She said that nothing came out of it, but ever since then I've been on edge with her with that type of stuff. I discovered now that I have a weak spot for woman like that. I have a "rescuer" type of personality. So somehow I attract woman with an abusive upbringing. I don't know if this relates to you, but I'd like to hear more of what's going between you two, maybe there's something we could learn from each other.

@STC I definitely agree. Thanks!

I've only had sex with 2 woman in my lifetime, which were with girlfriends. I had plenty of sex with them that I feel confident in pleasing woman in that area. I never really had the need to sleep with a lot of girls, but not till recently I felt it would be good to have the experience. I want to come at this as healthy as possible, especially after seeing Leo's rant against pick up. Some advice would be greatly appreciated!

@STC Yeah, I feel like I always saw some of the flaws in pick up. Which is why it never really got my attention before and after seeing Leo's video, that was reassuring. I feel as long as I try to be as honest as I possibly can with the girls I interact with and let them know my intentions. Hopefully that won't cause any collateral damage. Which is what I'm dreading.