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@nightrider1435 well, thank you sounds good, had that thought as well. It feels like existential fear, also I feel like I've been going into an ego-backlash. Lots of cravings for video games, food, sex is controlling "me". But the meditation I promised myself, that I will not quit.

Sometimes when my meditation session is done, I see my body reflection in a glass door in my room. It is evening, so it is kind of dark in my room, but I have a little lamp which makes the reflection able to occur. I'm in this clear and calm state of mind after meditating, but an intense fear arises because the body reflection is kinda blurring and it looks like it's changing form when I'm looking at it. I kind of wanna fight this fear or stay with it mindfully, but it feels like I'm losing my sense of self, which is kinda scary. So I tend to resist it and look away. Have anyone tried this? Or know if I should just try to stay with the fear? Cuz it feels like I'm going mad

@Sev Of course, you can become enlightened by meditation/contemplation/inquiry. But for such experiences to occur, the setting always has to be: long periods of diligent/focused practice without distraction, therefore retreats is recommended.

@Seeker10304 You don't have to start with 10-day retreat, build up your meditation skills slowly by starting off with daily practice and (important) with 3-7 day retreats. I have tried 3-day vipassana retreat once, and I'll be doing another this week. (The benefits are fantastic!) In my experience required for an "enlightenment experience/awakening" is: a still mind, which is acquired by long periods of concentration practice, (focusing on breath) When you have concentration developed, you can do insight practice more effectively and gain insight into No-self, Impermanence & Suffering. Which will be very enlightening experiences.

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Might as well hit the Thai Massage to loosen up a bit tomorrow. It feels like you can fly afterward.

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Sure, I am aware of that. But if I can sit 30 minutes without too much strain. Then the last 15-30m isn't gonna make it critical I think. My shin has been slightly tender today, but I think it's alright.

I mean, if 350$ chair = awakening then why not sit a bit more hours in that supermarket But maybe there's something about "mindfulness * pain = purification"

@InfinitePotential Actually I have such a bench, but I don't find it being stable/consistent enough for me though.

@Leo Gura Pain is the new pleasure

Thx for the suggestions! I sat in the yoga posture for 45 minutes today. The pain was again immense at 35-40 minutes in, but I kept staying mindful and kind of absorbing myself in the pain. Somehow that got me into like a minor samadhi experience where I in a focused state felt the pain constantly arising/passing, and suddenly the boundaries of body/mind started fading away and "I" could now tolerate the pain in a whole other way, I kind of stopped resisting it. It was a very peaceful state of mind, but not blissful. Pretty profound for me so far.

So I've been trying the posture which Leo introduced at the blog. I headed for 60 minutes in that posture, but about 10 minutes in, a pain arose in my left leg. And the pain didn't go away. At the 40 minute mark, I decided to change posture because I thought the pain wasn't healthy for my leg, and I nearly couldn't stand it any longer. But I still, think the posture is super good if the pain wasn't that immense. So for the next time, should I just keep sitting with the pain? And is it fine if my legs fall asleep while meditating? Or am I maybe not doing the posture correctly if it hurts that much? (I used a 2-inch yoga brick to sit on, and yoga mat for my legs)

I've had struggles quitting LoL too, what i found is that the game itself wasn't really satisfying, it was more the vision of becoming Diamond that was compelling. So a few months ago i became diamond rank and i was like "wow that was it" and most of the urges i had for gaming was gone. Still some of my friends want to play with me, but it does not feel right for me since i have all these things that i know will grow me much more: Meditation, education, diet, reading books etc. My tip is that while you play your game: try to stay mindful and present. Maybe aware of your body sensations, "awareness alone is curative if you've watched that one of Leo's." What i discovered is that i simply could not continue playing while being present/slightly mindful of the fact that i was wasting my time on a game that i've already spend 1000-2000 of hours playing. Also the awareness you put in while playing will reveal the unconscious desire to play and keep playing. Nothing wrong with playing so don't judge yourself, the only fact is that it won't really make you happier/grow you. Good luck on your journey!

@Nahm alright, I did that method at a 3 day Vipassana retreat. I think its really powerful, but not 100% sure if i should stick with it for a long period of time and only do that.

@Joseph Maynor Don't you have troubles with staying awake/aware while laying down?

So i was wondering today during my daily 1 hour meditation "how to optimise my meditation habit". And hoped that some of you wise people have some advice. Because i tend to switch between meditation techniques during my daily 1h, and I am unsure if its better to stick with 1 technique during the whole meditation duration. I tend to switch between these techniques during my 1 hour: Vipassana, Strong-determination-sitting, Do-nothing, Just being conscious. The question is if it is maybe better to pick 1 technique and stick with it during the whole hour, or maybe with the same techniques for weeks/months? I know that retreats are super helpful and I'm planning to do 3/6/9/12 day Vipassana retreats this year. The thing is that i don't know if its a waste of potential growth to for example: one day: Do-nothing, 2nd day: Vipassana, 3rd day: Strong-determination. Or if its actually good to switch between techniques when meditating solo at home. (Bonus question: will it radically increase the deepness of my meditation to do 1.5 hour instead of just 1 daily?) Thx for reading. I hope you have a great day and some juicy advice fellow beings.