2bequitefrank

Been feeling directionless for a few years in regards to life purpose. I attribute my lack of success to being stuck in my mind for most of my twenties (27 now), suffering through a percieved depression and suicide ideation. I'd say I'm fairly receptive now but still find myself in depressive episodes everynow and then. I feel like Im ready to drop my past completely but Im having linerging doubts about whether or not its actually possible to live a mentally healthy life after experiencing years of depression and suicide ideation and specifically, creating this deep emotional victim identity. I'm wondering if theres anybody out there that has felt they've actually grown past their old depressive selves. If so, I'd love to hear from you. First off, is it possible? How bad was your mental state? How do you feel now? How does your life look like? Do you ever "relapse"? What are some practical things you did that actually made a significant shift in your perception? But above all, is it possible?! I've been reading some reddit posts of people saying they're in their late 20s or early 30s and have no purpose or depressed or gave up or this or that in hopes of feeling better but I find it feeds my pessimisim even more. I'd appreciate any response from anybody. Any thoughts at all. Thank you.

@LukeZ Thank you man. Your response alone gave me hope. I'll give it a shot.

@Breakingthewall This alone makes me want to let go and find out whether you are saying is true. Thanks for the response!

When I meditate, or even when I'm mindful of my thoughts during the day, I feel like I can physically let my mind go. It feels like someone has sunctioned a plunger at the top of my head and pulling on it. It feels like there's a large mass on the top half of my skull thats struggling to detach itself from my awareness like the venom symbiote from spiderman 3. When this happens. It feels like I can't breathe. Some extra points: certain frequencies (like those hour long ones on youtube) help let it go. I theorize that it may be due to a lack of oxygen in my brain? I have a long history of overthinking that stems from age 12 to 26. I'm recovering from depression as well. Also have had an agressive youtube phone addiction. Tbh I know why this is happening but I just wanted to hear other perspectives. Something a little more concrete to make more sense of why it feels like my brain is coming off and maybe gather some ideas to reduce it. Thanks people.

@BlueOak you're awesome man thanks for the tips

@ChrisZoZo ngl that made me laugh