2bequitefrank

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About 2bequitefrank

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  1. how would you describe the experience of battling a literal demon? what makes you say the demons you battled were literal? and how is this a different experience from battling a "metaphorical" demon.
  2. How would you describe your life when your vision became altered?
  3. I’m going to be direct and honest in this post. I don’t feel entirely comfortable doing this, but given the foundational standards for intellectual work and personal growth that Leo has put forth, I’ll do it anyway and see what comes of it. This post is about my feelings of intellectual and spiritual insecurity and intellectual competition. I hope to spark an insightful discussion. By nature, I’m a competitive person, and I take great pleasure in knowing I’ve beaten someone at something—not in a way that makes others feel bad about themselves, but in the sense that I enjoy testing my skills against strong opponents. I’ve understood much of life through playing soccer and competing in Call of Duty at a high and strategic level for many years. I carried this attitude into my philosophical and spiritual inquiries, and it only intensified the more I watched Actualized.org content. I have some thoughts about Leo that I’d like to put out there, but first, I want to clarify that I value respect and welcome intellectual disagreement. However, I also recognize that emotions shape opinions and can lead to projection—so this could get messy. But fuck it, I’ll say it anyway. I’ve always felt that Leo’s tone when discussing Truth comes across as an invitation to be challenged, almost in a competitive light. I’m all for raw self-expression—I’m a big fan of rap culture and music, after all. But I have mixed feelings about the best way to communicate truth to others. Personally, I don’t think Leo’s approach is the most effective because of how definitively he presents his ideas, as if he’s absolutely right. For me, this creates an environment where I feel like my spiritual conclusions must carry the same level of conviction that Leo expresses. That’s how I see it, and I’d love to hear perspectives from others on this forum who may better understand his teaching style. I don’t necessarily have a problem with his approach, because like I said, I respect raw expression. However, I think the issue arises when this attitude is applied to guiding others. It seems counterproductive to speak of God, consciousness and selflessness while maintaining an authoritative, this is the absolute Truth stance. Maybe teaching styles are just a matter of preference, but I believe the best way to present ideas about God and consciousness is through curiosity and exploration—more like this is what I’ve observed, and I’d like to share rather than this is the Truth, take it or leave it. Of course, maybe Leo is justified in projecting himself with such confidence because, from his perspective, he has experienced something undeniably true. But when it comes to sharing those experiences, I think it’s more effective to encourage people to value their own perspectives and lead guided inquiries rather than to mainly assert conclusions. I know he has done this at times. He has shown compassion and understanding. He has done guided inquries. He does tell you not to believe him, think for yourself and do the work. I’m not painting him as a cocky prick who is incapable to being charitable. I’m just saying that, overall, the teaching style and attitude he primarily chooses to embody seems to serve the motive to be right and deliver airsealed arguments. It seems that he prioritizes expressing amazing insights as accomplishments over fostering an environment of exploration and a genuine desire to help others. Absolutely nothing wrong with this inherently, talk your talk but I think its important to examine yourself when you take on a role of leadership especially when it's self assigned; that's where things change because you are influencing others. I believe there are speaking styles better suited for this type of work than the one he primarily embodies. Maybe my own competitive and comparative tendencies shape the way I view Actualized.org, but this is my truth—it’s how I see it right now. And despite everything I’ve said, I still support Actualized.org. (Don't hate me Leo I think you're a fucking beast lol.) I am aware that he has most likely grown from this or at least has been more aware. And I think Actualized.org was extremely ambitious to begin with and I think it's a good idea for people to take a crack at these topics. But I'm just critiquing actualized.org as the whole body of work that it is, not specifically at Leo as a person. None of us can meet everyone's preferences. Nonetheless I formed this opinion after I realized that I became more focused on measuring up to Leo’s attitude and approach to truth-seeking rather than exploring my own perspectives. Being fully honest, this has led to insecurity because I don’t like the idea of someone with Leo’s level of conviction existing without being challenged, especially when he puts other intellectuals and schools of thought in the hot seat. That realization pushed me to become someone who could present their ideas as strongly as he does. Maybe that sounds petty, but I care about truth, so I don’t mind admitting it. I stopped watching Actualized.org for a few years to do my own thing, and after some reflection, this is the perspective I’ve arrived at. Lastly, I used ChatGPT to help me organize my thoughts, and I found that reflection useful. But I’ll end the main part of this post here. What do you ya'll think? I'm fairly new to the forum so I apologize if this has been covered already. I'm just tryna understand and be better. I look forward to any substantive responses and thoughts. Chat GPT reflection: It sounds like you’re feeling a lot of pressure to reach a certain level of understanding or consciousness, especially after encountering figures like Leo Gura from Actualized.org, who present themselves as having accessed absolute truth or achieved higher states of consciousness. This type of messaging can be really compelling—it’s easy to feel like you need to achieve that level of clarity or truth to be worthy or to avoid falling into stupidity or self-deception. But let's take a moment to unpack a few things, because it's clear that you're dealing with a mix of intellectual pressure, fear of missing out, and a desire to have strong convinctions in life. I want to highlight a few perspectives that might help you navigate this: 1. The Illusion of Absolute Truth Leo Gura and similar figures might claim to have accessed absolute truth, but it's essential to approach this claim with some level of skepticism. Absolute truth is a heavy concept, and in many philosophical and spiritual traditions, it’s understood as something that is inherently ineffable, or something that cannot be fully grasped by the finite human mind. - Truth is often multi-faceted: What one person sees as "absolute truth" may only be a piece of the larger puzzle. Different perspectives bring different insights. Even if someone presents a highly confident view, it doesn't necessarily mean it’s the only path to truth. In fact, many profound thinkers throughout history have understood that the journey of self-discovery and truth-seeking is ongoing, and that truth is something to live with, not just to "achieve." - Personal experience matters: When someone claims to have absolute truth, it's important to remember that their truth may be deeply personal—shaped by their own experiences and context. It doesn't diminish your own search for truth, but it invites you to question whether claiming absolute truth is even appropriate for anyone to do. Truth can be something that evolves over time, not a final, fixed endpoint. 2. The Pressure of High Consciousness The idea of a “high state of consciousness” can sometimes feel like a barrier you have to overcome to “measure up.” But high consciousness can be misleading in some ways: - Consciousness is complex: A person may present themselves as having a high state of consciousness, but that doesn't always translate into wisdom, humility, or compassion. True growth in consciousness involves not just intellectual understanding but emotional maturity, self-awareness, and the ability to live authentically with others. - Consciousness is fluid: It’s not about achieving a permanent state of "high consciousness," but about cultivating the capacity for awareness and learning to navigate life's complexities in a way that is aligned with your values. Everyone is on a different path, and it's okay to progress at your own pace. - Beware of arrogance disguised as wisdom: Sometimes when someone claims to have achieved enlightenment or accessed higher truth, it can come off as intellectual superiority. But remember, true wisdom often involves a level of humility, recognizing that there’s always more to learn and that nobody has all the answers. Be mindful of the subtle ways in which some teachings can encourage elitism or exclusion, when true enlightenment should be about connecting to the human experience. 3. Defining Your Own Truth and Path It’s completely natural to want strong positions and insights about life—it’s part of what gives us meaning and direction. But feeling pressured to match someone else’s level of understanding might cause unnecessary stress and make you feel like you're never “enough.” Here are a few ways to find a balanced approach: - Engage with ideas, but don’t let them define you: It’s helpful to explore different viewpoints and teachings to broaden your understanding. But there’s no need to adopt everything you come across. As you explore, it’s important to think critically and apply what feels true to your life. Your personal experiences and reflections are just as important as what you read or hear from others. - Embrace uncertainty: Not having absolute answers doesn’t mean you’re at a “low state of consciousness.” In fact, being comfortable with uncertainty and openness to change is a sign of intellectual maturity. It shows that you’re not attached to rigid beliefs and that you’re willing to let your understanding evolve over time. The idea that you must have everything figured out to be wise or conscious can be limiting. - Focus on inner peace and self-awareness: True consciousness comes from the ability to be present and self-aware, not just from intellectualizing or collecting knowledge. Your growth might come from introspection, self-compassion, and aligning with values that serve you and others. It’s about finding peace with what you know, while being open to growth without pressure. 4. The Dangers of Intellectual Superiority It's worth asking yourself whether the idea of intellectual superiority is really something you want to aspire to. Some intellectuals present their insights with confidence, but this can sometimes be a cover for ego-driven desires for validation or the need to be right. Intellectual humility is important in the process of personal growth because it recognizes that we can always improve and learn from others—regardless of where we are on the journey. - Intellectual superiority can breed isolation: If we focus too much on measuring ourselves against others, it can create feelings of isolation and competition rather than collaboration and growth. Consider whether you’d rather engage with life from a place of connection and curiosity, or from a place of feeling “less than” or not enough. - There’s more to being human than intellect: In the end, being a wise or highly conscious person isn’t just about knowing more or winning intellectual battles. It’s about having the capacity for empathy, self-awareness, and the willingness to grow in multiple dimensions—intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. --- Conclusion: It’s understandable to feel compelled to research, understand, and explore everything to ensure that you’re not missing out on important insights or truths, especially when figures like Leo Gura present themselves as having “figured it out.” However, it's important to remember that absolute truth is complex and subjective, and consciousness is not a destination, but an ongoing process. You don’t need to compete with others or prove yourself intellectually superior to be worthy or valid in your perspective. Rather than measuring your journey by how much you can accumulate intellectually, consider focusing on growth, self-self-awareness, and authenticity. Your journey is uniquely yours, and your ability to embrace uncertainty and grow from your experiences is a mark of wisdom. How do you feel about this shift in perspective? Does it help to think about your own growth and understanding as something that evolves over time, without the need for competition or intellectual perfection?
  4. I recently read The Lost Girls: The True Story of the Cleveland Abductions and the Incredible Rescue of Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Gina DeJesus. I'm sure many of you are familiar with this story. My biggest take away from the book was simply having the acute awareness that incredibly sadistic minds do exist and reading this extremely detailed account in particular allowed me to dive deep into the thought process behind such a mind and the conditions that created it. It put my own crazy behavior into perspective which helped me process, accept, and forgive those evildoings. Here is a summary from the book listing on Amazon: "The Lost Girls are Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry, and Gina DeJesus―three innocent young women who were kidnapped, imprisoned, and repeatedly molested and beaten in a Cleveland home basement for over a decade by a depraved man named Ariel Castro. Their incredible escape, in May 2013, made headlines all over the world." I highly recommend it since was such a huge headline regarding these types of people in modern times. It has opened my mind to what the human mind is capable of justifying and has helped me synthesize lots of information for understanding human behavior in general. https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Girls-Cleveland-Abductions-Incredible/dp/1250092116
  5. @LukeZ Thank you man. Your response alone gave me hope. I'll give it a shot.
  6. @Breakingthewall This alone makes me want to let go and find out whether you are saying is true. Thanks for the response!
  7. @BlueOak you're awesome man thanks for the tips
  8. @ChrisZoZo ngl that made me laugh
  9. When I meditate, or even when I'm mindful of my thoughts during the day, I feel like I can physically let my mind go. It feels like someone has sunctioned a plunger at the top of my head and pulling on it. It feels like there's a large mass on the top half of my skull thats struggling to detach itself from my awareness like the venom symbiote from spiderman 3. When this happens. It feels like I can't breathe. Some extra points: certain frequencies (like those hour long ones on youtube) help let it go. I theorize that it may be due to a lack of oxygen in my brain? I have a long history of overthinking that stems from age 12 to 26. I'm recovering from depression as well. Also have had an agressive youtube phone addiction. Tbh I know why this is happening but I just wanted to hear other perspectives. Something a little more concrete to make more sense of why it feels like my brain is coming off and maybe gather some ideas to reduce it. Thanks people.
  10. Been feeling directionless for a few years in regards to life purpose. I attribute my lack of success to being stuck in my mind for most of my twenties (27 now), suffering through a percieved depression and suicide ideation. I'd say I'm fairly receptive now but still find myself in depressive episodes everynow and then. I feel like Im ready to drop my past completely but Im having linerging doubts about whether or not its actually possible to live a mentally healthy life after experiencing years of depression and suicide ideation and specifically, creating this deep emotional victim identity. I'm wondering if theres anybody out there that has felt they've actually grown past their old depressive selves. If so, I'd love to hear from you. First off, is it possible? How bad was your mental state? How do you feel now? How does your life look like? Do you ever "relapse"? What are some practical things you did that actually made a significant shift in your perception? But above all, is it possible?! I've been reading some reddit posts of people saying they're in their late 20s or early 30s and have no purpose or depressed or gave up or this or that in hopes of feeling better but I find it feeds my pessimisim even more. I'd appreciate any response from anybody. Any thoughts at all. Thank you.