Mango1998

I like weird

Wonderful And Crazy Day Yesterday was my oral exam. I couldn´t sleep the whole night, so I watched a movie based on a real story. This made my appreciate my life again And then at 4 AM I got rid of laying in the bed and trying to sleep, I got up, made me breakfast and drove to school. I got there at 5 AM I never was at that time at my school I was even earlier than our second headmaster, I kind of felt proud So, then I had about three hours nothing to do. I just sat there, listened to music, tried to learn a little and then did a power napping. That made me even more tired and I started to thinking, that I should might not do that exam. But I still went there and that was a good decision. A lot of people wished me good luck and that they would think of me while I was in the exam. I felt loved My Maths teacher was over protective she wanted to hold my stuff and gave me water and asked me if everything was alright and that I will make it. That was so sweet We had a half hour to do some exercises and I couldn´t do each of them, that made me nervous. But that was alright. In the second part of the exam, I had to explain my solutions and I talked about 13 minutes (I was surprised ). In the second part, my teacher would ask me questions and I had to answer them. That went pretty well Only the last question was pretty hard. i had to calculate the wing area of a triangle and the triangle was pretty weird It was neither right-angled, isosceles or equilateral And then my exam was over I felt so relieved and also exhausted After the exam, we had to wait about four hours for our results. So my friend and I went to the city I a bookshop, later we played a lot That was the best part of the day Then finally we got our results and I got an A. I still can´t believe that It´s so amazing Yeah, then I drove back home and my grandpa was only at home. We celebrated that and he took me to my favourite vegan restaurant (actually I drove us but he paid :D) I had a mango burger which was really jummy and as a dessert strawberry cake wit some ice-cream and also some huge cookies

@Gabriel Antonio Thanks It´s like the old times. We ignore each other for some time and then we act like nothing happened

I agree on Dragallur. You should also start being honest with your parents although it´s really hard and terrifying But you can do it I feel really happy for you

Habit 1, Day 5 I wasn´t very productive today. I just continued reading the summaries in Maths and socialized a lot.

You have to find the balance

Habit 1, Day 4 Although I was tired as hell, I tried to do maths, even it was at first only 10 minutes. Later in the noon, I did more maths but no exercises. I read only summaries on different topics, made notes and that´s it. I will now do some exercises, read my book and go to sleep.

They have this aptitude but you are a very hard-working person and you can everything that you want That´s pretty normal. I mean otherwise you need the ability to read his mind And I would worry if you weren´t nervous You are better than that remember that!

Habit 1, Day 3 I started again with maths. Also, I tried to do some sections during the whole day and in the evening. I couldn´t read that much of my book but that´s ok

Negative Vibes I´m feeling shitty. The day began quite good but my mom had to ruin everything. I´m tired of being her slave. Why do I have to have such parents and such a bad relationship with them? I´m tired of this. I can never please them. I´m not a damn puppet who has no own will and will do whatever they want me to do. This is just so exhausting. My mom is working four days a week from morning to the evening and has two small kids. And who is chosen to play the new mom? Me of course. I love my sister and brother but I´m not their mom. And when mom is home, she meets her friends, cleans the whole time, is on her phone discussing the matters of the complete world or is the whole day shopping. That´s not what my siblings need. They need her. They already have no father, now they are losing their mom, too. Yesterday I told my small sister that I will leave them soon and go to study and work. She got mad and wanted to leave with me. She would even leave mom to go with me. My mom is so unfair. She has always a darling and the other children get no attention. We had a fight because she went twice to the flower market and spent so much money on flowers ( Money we don´t have!) and I had to babysit again although it was my free day. And after about three months the flowers will be dead because she has no time to water them. AND next year she will spend again so much money on flowers she can´t take care of. What is that?? She is so unhappy with her life, her situation, and everything and tries to drown that in material things. She thinks material stuff is love. That´s also why she buys my siblings so many toys they don´t actually want. And well, they destroy them very soon. Such a waste. We could do so much better things with that money. I tried to tell her how annoyed I´m of her behavior but she hardly listens to me. I really tried to be honest but instead of seeing her own failures and admitting them, she found some in me. What I did wrong and what a bad daughter I am.... I could write novels on that topic but this will cause only more negative vibes.

Habit 1, Day 2 (Yesterday) I started as I already said my day with maths. This helped a lot. Later in the evening I did again maths and read my book.

How do you want to get charisma??

Flowers, Good Weather, Quality Time Today and tomorrow is a flower market in our city. Many people from Germany and the Netherlands came her to sell their products or buy. Because my mom was working, I went there to look for nice flowers for our terrasse but I hardly wanted to buy something In the past I was kind of a shopaholic and bought so much useless stuff and spent my whole money on food Now the affection to things is removing slowly Thank God! Instead of buying stuff, we enjoyed street food, went on a carousel and enjoyed the sunny day. My bigger small sister also bought me some Oreos (I love them!), that was really sweet of her Later at home, my small siblings and I started a painting. We will continue with that tomorrow

At Thursday @JKG and I spent some very beautiful hours together. First, we simulated her oral exam That was fun and afterward we did our usual walk through the forest. This is the best part of our meetings because then we can speak more openly and about things that actually matters We talked about honest things and it did really well to let all that things out of my mind. At the beginning, I was terrified how she will react but thankfully she reacted really honest and told me also some truths. This improved our friendship very well and I want to widen that "strategy" to my other friends, too. So we can also improve our relationship She and I both see honesty as the most important value in a good and working friendship Yesterday I got inspired by my grandfather's food and veganized that. It´s "Milk rice" with a berry mix and fresh strawberries. I´m quite proud of that The rest of the day I was busy with my small siblings and waiting.

Habit 1, Day 1 (Yesterday) I started my day with reading about an hour.In the evening I did math exercises and watched a documentary about Steve Jobs. I will change my strategy and start with school work and read later.

Habit 1, Day 5 I failed, so let´s start tomorrow again It´s hard to believe but I´m doing this for my and on my own and I have to stay honest with myself.

I´m feeling great Today was a day with a lot of sun, warmth and nice air I spent many hours outside, sweat a lot and had ice cream I also made some lemonade and spent some time with my grandfather. He is so kind to me. We didn´t talk much because I didn´t know what to talk about, but that was ok Normally I´m a very chatty person but nowadays I prefer talking less. Words are just words and the most times they are so useless. The conversations are mostly useless. There is no deep intention behind that. So we enjoyed the sun, the wind, and the nice wheater. I don´t know why I´m writing this, but there was a guy at our home to change some electronic things and we saw us in the staircase and that was such an intense moment for me. I don´t know if he felt the same but it was so filmy and I want to remember that. He came out of another flat and I was going downstairs and there was a short moment we looked at each other's eyes and he had so deep blue eyes (i have a weakness for blue eyes )you could lose yourself in. It lasted only for about 3 seconds but still, there was something. I regret that I didn´t even say "Hello" In the book "Radical Honesty" I read a chapter about dealing with anger. It makes so much sense what the guy is talking. I´m not expressing my emotions and especially my anger enough. I want to work on that. Also, I´m letting my small sibling express their feelings more openly. For example, I hated in the past when they cried about little things. now I motivate them ti cry more and let everything out It feels good to do so. Sice then our relationship improved and every time they feel bad, sad, angry or something else they come to me and we deal that together.

That can also be fun, you just need the interest for that. If you take Shakespeare and his chain of beings as an example and you really want to understand that shit, it can be very deep. He was a visionary person. You will know what I mean very soon

You know that you are not the average teenager They think, that you are strange because you are different but you know what, although the most people are normal, there are still enough strange people like you

Habit 1, Day 4 I started the day directly with something "useful". I didn´t feel like learning Maths, so I read the book. After I had "breakfast" I did two old math exercises and it didn´t feel really nice, so I forced myself to continue and gave up on the third. I hope to achieve tomorrow more. This result wasn´t that bad. @JKG You are right. So, right now being more productive means for me to learn at least three hours maths and reduce the other activities like watching series and doing some nicer stuff like reading my books, painting, going out, meditating, exercising.... I´m wasting my time with dreaming and watching the series about detectives

@Gabriel Antonio I like your idea with handwriting Giving classes might also help you to improve you communication skills If you ask me, time is the best gift you can give someone, even if it is short I hope your friend will see that also like that

@Dragallur Don´t worry You have your whole life to learn German Just continue practicing and one day you might be better than a native German And fuck the others and what they want you to do. The only who matters is you

And I should do the opposite

Stay patient and everything will turn out the way it should be

Habit 1, Day 3 Today was a hard day. I started with cleaning our stairs, later cleaning two rooms and my car from the inside. I didn´t have enough time to clean also the outside of the car because I met a friend and we simulated our oral exams I definitely have to start to study more in maths My plan for tomorrow is: study maths paint continue reading the book 2Radical Honesty"