puporing

So glad to hear that you have gotten more clarity and got to communicate it as well! It's hard to go wrong when you're being honest with yourself and doing the most loving thing. The possibility of separation in relationships for various reasons is what comes with entering into them. Growing pains.

I think you're on the right track. Life purpose is not the end of the road just like relationships, material stuff, etc. I guess the more you can integrate your life purpose with your spiritual growth the more you can get out of both. I would say let go of the idea that achieving your life purpose is the only thing that will make you happy. And then you can pursue it from this more detached place and everything you do achieve is a bonus and/or a celebration of life, just like relationships are a bonus to your life. Hope that helps.

Depends on your financial situation and all that. Ideally develop skills that will help you with your life purpose - which often entails multiple things anyway rather than 1-2 skills. Imagine that you're becoming superhuman - whatever form that looks like to you. But if you're in more of a need to survive in the next little while, it MAY be good to have a more tolerable job down that gives you the ability to pursue your life purpose, but this should be a short term thing that you'll then try to get out of.. In this case I would just recommend something that you have the best tolerance per pay ratio (ie like a trade for instance). Hope that makes sense.

Yes that's usually a very good clue/starting point .. Look up Charles Bukowski or something he was pursuing something that he would do even if he had to pay to do it.

Of course it's possible, if everyone raised their consciousness to a certain level like others have said here.. meanwhile it'll be a struggle to get there, but it is happening, we are in a more peaceful time than before, even if it may not seem that way.

Most likely shadows you haven't examined deeply yet and integrated them into your present. Something in the past that has made a habit of your present way of being. That or you simply forgot your true nature in the moment - or choosing to 'forget' and instead experience the relative.

I have been/am in a similar situation. I had to let go of the idea of a close or supportive relationship, or getting approval from them.. You can still love them and have compassion for them, but you would be disappointed at trying to change them or make them see things the way you do. They may or may not in the future, but be detached to it and continue to pursue what's important to you regardless. This can feel like eating glass in the beginning, but it will get better and you will be glad to have stuck to what's important to you. On a practical level...you will probably have to talk to them to set boundaries. Like being explicit about you have different values and that you do not want to share everything going on with you now, that you need space, etc. I know it's hard if you have authoritarian or controlling parents. But they have to back off... I hope you can find an ally and/or the inner strength to confront them on this.

I have been/am in a similar situation. I had to let go of the idea of a close or supportive relationship, or getting approval from them.. You can still love them and have compassion for them, but you would be disappointed at trying to change them or make them see things the way you do. They may or may not in the future, but be detached to it and continue to pursue what's important to you regardless. This can feel like eating glass in the beginning, but it will get better and you will be glad to have stuck to what's important to you. On a practical level...you will probably have to talk to them to set boundaries. Like being explicit about you have different values and that you do not want to share everything going on with you now, that you need space, etc. I know it's hard if you have authoritarian or controlling parents. But they have to back off... I hope you can find an ally and/or the inner strength to confront them on this.

@JosephKnecht Hmm.. interesting, I feel like this is the result of me integrating them. I do just enjoy exploring the polarities of masculine and feminine, and show up the way that feels comfortable rather than how I'm supposed to show up. It feels more true to me, I think I just got to embrace it even more. But yeah to your point, it's not actually so black and white like that, hard to explain, it does get mixed up and it's not always dependent on the setting or how I'm dressed at the time. It's usually a pretty conscious choice how I'm choosing to show up moment to moment. Thanks for the reminder.

So the last two years or so I have found myself identifying more and more with this but really have no one (that can understand this) I can talk about it with, I would prefer the term 'two-spirit' but it is reserved for Indigenous... For anyone out there who identifies themselves this way (ie, having both feminine and masculine traits, unrelated to your sexual orientation), I am curious what circumstances do you find yourself preferring to act/dress/behave in one gender over the other? Do you often get people who may think that you're also bisexual or gay when you are being more the opposite gender (understandable)? For me, it seems like I've developed a pattern of whenever I'm in a professional setting I would prefer to dress/act more masculine, and feminine when it comes to romantic situations (makes sense given my sexual orientation..).

This is so great, thank you, I wish my therapist(s) would just talk about this straight from the start... most of them drag this stuff out wayyyy too long and I get impatient or feel exploited lol.

I've done a Web Development bootcamp before. They're pretty efficient at getting you entry-level jobs ready, some even offer job search services where they have connections with companies looking for entry level devs, I would go for those ones if you're investing alot financially. And then like @bazera says, build a portfolio of projects (the bootcamp usually already has that) on Github, prep for technical interview questions. It's one of those jobs where if you're good at what you're doing you will eventually get hired because there aren't many people who can handle the cognitive demand in that job. I hope you don't give up if it's something you truly want to be doing!

When more freedom is attained, now you have the opportunity to create more freely. What would you like to see more of in the world? What are your highest values? And can you think of some manifestations of those values? @catcat69123 Osho's pretty great for that.

I have seriously considered counselling psychology as well. My main conflicts with it are more values-based and personal. First of all the expense of the programs like you say (this is a problem I have with most degrees in general). I would have a problem charging vulnerable people something like $150-200 an hour just to talk to them/help them. It feels highly exploitative.. Having been on the receiving end of therapy myself, I think it was always a bandaid solution. Most of the work I had to do myself.. and it's not super reliable even as a temporary fix and have caused more problems than it fixed as well. The thought of having this artificially created relationship with a therapist can really make hell when you wake up to this fact and that none of them would want much to do with you when you stopped paying them, so there's this pretentiousness of being 'caring and loving' but only when money is exchanged. Generally, most therapists are operating on stage Blue to Orange ideas and are not spiritually developed. That's why I say it's a bandaid solution. I think if you're someone who grows alot spiritually, you will have a hard time staying in this profession due to the above limitations.. there are therapists who quit it because of these things. That said.. I can understand if having a stable and paying career is more important to you right now than considering all of the pitfalls that goes with it.

@Bojan Have you tried getting a test done?

Haven't heard of them before, thanks for sharing the resource. Have you had good luck finding a good match/therapist on their platform?

Ok this is good. There is no issue with your preferences first of all, and it is understandable that you would still perhaps want to be with the person and still love them but headed in different directions in life. I would definitely figure out first what you want more of (like if you're more leaning towards exploring other relationships). I can foresee roughly 2 scenarios if you are leaning more towards exploring and not settling down yet, seems like you will eventually have to talk to her about this, and it could lead to either a breakdown, or a realignment on her part with you (which might mean something like an open relationship of some sort but most people don't consider this an option..). I wish you the best of luck.

Being respectful is a good trait when it comes to general interactions.., but I think with intimacy it totally depends on the woman, she might think that's what she loves due to moral conditioning but... deep down she might want someone who is able to make her feel all sorts of emotions. Just my take

Drifting apart is a natural part of life especially if you're growing alot and/or in different directions, you can still have love and compassion toward them, appreciation for the times you've had, whilst moving on.. sometimes this happens mutually other times you might have to have a more explicit conversation so the other person isn't utterly confused by it.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/new-brunswick/mystery-brain-disease-new-brunswick-1.6303781 This has been on the news alot in Canada. It makes me think about symptoms of heavy metal toxicity given how hard it can be to detect and diagnose even if it were in the environment at one point... thoughts?

It can be really challenging. Do you find yourself having two separate voices? And it sounds like you identify more with one of them. It could be that you really feel the relationship should end and your heart is not in it. But there are probably other factors holding you, for example things like how will people react to it, I’ve invested so much already, what if I can’t find anyone else, practical reasons whatever your situation is. I guess the first step is to just be honest with yourself about reasons for staying and leaving. And give yourself some time to contemplate what’s more important to you right now.. and… is this something I can possibly talk about with my partner or best to keep to myself until I sort my feelings out. Hope that helps.

Probably fear of having to let go of a survival strategy that is more convenient/straightforward and beneficial to the ego, fear around losing a bunch of money.. understandable but nonetheless has its problems. This. It would be hard to find someone on this forum who will validate the unhealthy manifestations of the previous stages.

See the larger picture. See that you are already whole and complete. Everything else is just a bonus. See there's another layer beneath the mechanism of goal pursuits and it bringing you happiness which is already perfect. And then from that point on everything you do pursue is from a place of wholeness not lack.

Staying conscious when pursuing your desires. And being aware of ultimately you are already complete, and this is like a play. You're here to play. Being aware that your desires will most likely evolve and change and whatever you're pursuing now is helping you grow and this is not the end of the road.

It's an indication you are a bit stuck where you are. You might have to do something drastic to get out of that, like moving somewhere, or a different career, etc. Maybe fear of change or another round of 'failure/hopelessness' is holding you back from pursuing that too.