puporing

Hmm.. what was helpful was taking a good inventory of my emotional states that were holding me back - ie, fear, anxiety, etc. And often you can find the source of it through your dreams if you are not already conscious of where it is coming from. For me it was a recurring theme of being emotionally abused by a parent, showing up in my dreams frequently in various scenarios and won't go away. These are what psychologists call 'complexes' that can develop. This is something that you can grow out of with breathwork or revisiting the feelings in the dreams and challenging them as you walk through them (perhaps with a therapist is more beneficial). Past memories also helps but I haven't found a way to retrieve stuff I can't remember.

Yea.. and you might get a lot of resistance from outside for sticking to the purpose you've found... watch out for that one

Thanks for sharing this!

Perhaps lacking purpose or the ability to have one.

It can overlap for sure and how others perceive you as.

Challenge any lingering perception of 'vulnerability = weak'.

It sorta just comes to you as you evolve and grow because not finding/living it becomes too painful to your soul, and it can change with your growth. Fulfilling Maslow's hierarchy of needs, contemplating the dissolution of the physical body will help with it also.

Be aware/alert of your ‘inner states’ whenever possible, how you’re perceiving the ‘physical reality’, notice the awareness of it. What is the nature of this awareness?

Yes often this is what can push one into the 'dark night of the soul', is what I feel pushed some rich and famous folks to suicide.

Not so much Christ for me in terms of connecting. Mostly been living people who embody what I would like to embody, I connect more with living beings I guess.

Groundhog Day The Matrix

Also from Osho: https://youtu.be/w8jLSKW_yBw

From personal experience, alcohol can help one 'peel away the layers' so to speak. If you struggle to go out of your comfort zone, open up so you can connect with others more deeply/directly. Then once you realize that's a possibility with the aid of alcohol, you could do that without alcohol. But of course, integrating the experience after the fact is super important just like other drugs/substances if you're using it for growth.

Yeah I totally agree. It's important to acknowledge the pain and loss that we experienced. Sorry that so much was not going the way you wished it did at your age. Becoming independent and moving away from home can be a major turning point for one's growth. It doesn't make it less of a deal just because everyone had to deal with it one way or another. Every life is precious. I really hope things will get better soon too. I too have lost and missed opportunities to connect with others during this time. I think this forum has been one of my ways to reach out and connect with everything happening.

@soos_mite_ah I think it's understandable that you're feeling this conflict of societal pressures, your desires, and the isolation situation. There's multiple ways you could take this as an opportunity for growth. One like others have said, working on yourself, life purpose, meditation, reading, doing things/socializing within the limits that we have, etc. The other angle if you are open to it as it can be more challenging to your current values, is to work on questioning the things that are making you feel anxious about the 'time-wasted'. Are those things really something I feel or from other people? What are some counter examples? What might be the deep rooted source of my insecurities? Gaining clarity on them can help you move forward with more wisdom.

@Karmadhi yes it's a highly complex, nuanced issue. At the end of the day, 'feminine' or 'masculine' are labels to communicate broad generalizations, and we all have these traits within us to varying degrees. I mean in a way it goes back to nondual thinking - how society perceives as more valuable. This is in addition to the challenge of individuality and allowance for one to freely express either broad qualities in society if one wishes to do so. The thing I find hard is often people will equate 'pop feminism' with rigorous study of history and examination of current affairs on women, and therefore abandon the whole subject altogether because 'pop feminism' is less credible. In my experience, sociology is treated as less credible than the physical sciences, and thus easily dismissed. By its nature, studying people over long periods presents different challenges compared to studying things in a controlled or smaller setting both in space and time. The very nature of a less advantaged group advocating for themselves is itself a challenge. Such as when a Black person writes about their experiences of being a Black person in a society that refuses them equal voice or expression, a slave writing about being a slave in a society that has yet abolished slavery, it automatically tends to get tossed out the window. We could only hear about them now because we are no longer in such a society, or that they escaped their situation and relocated to a more tolerant society, and that these people banded together to improve their rights and situations. The situation with women is difficult because the vast majority still gain a lot of survival benefits by continuing to be more passive and less individualistic. It takes a willingness to take risks and self-sacrifice and potential for ostracization by the group (on the survival strategy front) to be an advocate.

Great question. Broadly: Exploration and growth Opportunity to assist with others' exploration and growth Adding beauty and love to what's already here

This reminds me a lot of the memoir/Netflix series "Maid". Might give some ideas, it was a success. I don't have experience writing a novel, but Stephen King gives the recommendation of just reading a lot, a lot of different books, fiction, non-fic, different genres, etc if you were hoping to approach this as a long-term career.

Yes and no, if someone feels in alignment with their assigned biological sex and by extension the expectations around it then it feels right to them. But when the person has the tendency to deviate from their assigned sex it can be seen as a box others are imposing on them. And yeah like you say it can be a complex combination of situations when someone prefers to be feminine or masculine, unique to each individual. In the future, I believe that humanity would be served by allowing freedom of expression regardless of one's looks/bio sex and respecting the individual above the collective.

That's what I was trying to say, there are natural tendencies based on biology, genetics, and chemistry, but once puberty hits conditioning also hits hard on both sexes on top of that, this plays a big role. A woman who has a natural tendency towards autonomy and raised like a boy or a boy/girl at the same time, and or a male who has a natural tendency towards communion/feminine traits and is not discouraged by it would both be able to live out their natural tendencies and be more masculine/feminine regardless of their biological sex. And also how much society is accepting of gender flexibility plays a big role. Right, some are like that and have blind spots, but let's not forget feminists are not all the same. A feminist could give the same importance to biological differences as well as the conditioning aspects.

@Barna If you’re still having a hard time getting people I suggest looking into volunteering on a distress line. Really good impromptu practice sometimes pretty urgent cases.. also comes with lots of training, though yes you won’t be talking to the person more than once.

Actually the “originators” tended to not to want to make themselves into some “religion” or write books, often they discouraged it and it was at the plea of followers that they start to do more of these activities.

Very true can relate alot.

A large part of this is a result of conditioning rather than from one's own natural tendencies if it were permitted/nurtured. If you read some feminist texts, it's a recurring theme that girls are more restricted in their upbringing and by society throughout their life relative to boys, and mothers (the primary caregiver) parent daughters much differently than they do sons, no matter what stage on the spiral the society is in. A woman who first conceives of the importance of freedom and truth above all and exercises them in reality can find almost no allies and would be lucky to not be persecuted especially when such truth is perceived as taking away a male's ability to survive, nonetheless, some do and persist. I just think it's important to consider/point out the bigger picture when making generalized statements like this.