puporing

LoL I love this answer

@catcat69123 hmm... that I don't need to wait around for the world to be more loving or keep complaining about how unloving it can be, that I can just start being more loving so as to create more of the reality I want to see.

@Rishabh R Yeah of course! Having a sense of abundance by meeting lots of people will help with the getting too attached too quick problem too.

Gotta just let go of what other people might think, plus we don't know what they'll think. That's going to come up over and over again if you're exploring and not settling down let's say. People will always judge and gossip, and maybe shame you. Will you let it stop you pursuing what's important to you? Alternatively you could gauge if there's bit of mutual interest or not.. plus you could be doing her a favor .

LoL that's honestly a pretty good deal if you want and got the job. It's another story if you no longer want the job and can't not pay them. Are there any other educational institutions that don't charge people upfront until they found a job? I've not heard of that. And most "education" is not about training for a job (except for technical college and certain fields) it's a fancy qualification that you can do x based on the courses you took, and few even offer job networking opportunities.. yeah the system is not optimal but relative to what else is out there you got a decent deal.

@Rishabh R I'm sorry... Sounds like you're just very lonely and struggling to connect. Don't blame yourself for wanting that and pursuing that. Just practice letting go better when someone you want to connect with doesn't want the same. Before you find a full blown relationship maybe look for connection with strangers, coworkers, friends to be, family members if they're healthy. Those will help too. Much love.

@PurpleTree The truth of reality cannot hurt us, it's what we tell ourselves/against ourselves about what we are presented with (eg, the triggering behaviors of others): that we're unlovable, unworthy, unattractive, etc. Recognize that others are simply souls dressed up as egos navigating their own journey. Sometimes their journey is meant to be with you, and sometimes without you. You have a choice in the matter, you can choose to be somewhere or not be, just like others do as well. Sometimes others want to end the interaction before you do, sometimes you want to end it before they do. It's okay to feel bad about not being able to connect with another soul, but we have to learn to move on with grace as it is the highest love to give the other their agency to do so. We do not need to go through our journey by using other people's journey against us and establish who we ultimately are based on the path they take. I hope this helps with letting go of the people who are not meant to be on your path/journey at that time or anymore. Much love.

Dawww... I hear you. It's like you "logically" know the material but not feeling it in your day-to-day reality. I'm going to approach this with an assumption that you desire positive connections in relation to another (as opposed to when you are on your own). Do you find that loving people are scarce in your life and is this what you want more of but maybe don't think you can ask for? Do you think others in your life might have felt the same way? How might one increase connection when relating to the other so as to feel more seen and loved and reciprocate the same, as opposed to the other way around? Is it possible to branch out to more people/interactions/situations that I have previously shied away from? Do you feel you have something others want like the thing you might want in others? And I hear that you are doing this pretty well when you're alone.. perhaps in nature.. is it possible to see the people who 'gave you the cold shoulder' the same way as you might see a tree? or as part of the universe you have connected with? Would that affect how you feel about the situation next time?

@Ulax Thank you very much! @Glaucus You're welcome, yea for sure, anytime!

@Glaucus I've gone through this. This is a healthy phase you're going through even if it may seem the opposite to you.. to society. Your repressed emotions are finally allowed to surface and be processed. Now it may be difficult to do this completely on your own but it is still possible. I've worked through alot of it through writing and playing music, grieving, having a couple of "allies" who are on the child's side. You could look for a good therapist (may take a few tries). The form it takes will be unique to each one of us. Be gentle during this time, if you possibly can take some time off or not be externally focused all the time I would recommend that. You will come out of it eventually by siding with the inner child.. Feel free to pm me if you want some resources I have found helpful.

@Wilhelm44 Lol, I was supposed to attend his online gathering on Wednesday and missed it on my calendar, thanks for the share.

@Matt23 Yes ideally, if the tests were as accessible as in the US I would totally want to get the data and do the before and after.. but here in Canada I haven't found something so accessible. I found a naturopathic clinic that might do the test but they make you jump through a bunch of hoops like having consultations with the doc first...blah blah. I'm just a bit over seeing doctors for this right now. I've been having unexplainable symptoms and going to docs for a couple years with no answers.. The exhaustion is real! I would love to know if you find a good accessible source for testing, please share it with the Canadian folks. For now journalling and observing will do.

@Matt23 Haha yeah, I just assume I'm at least a bit toxic.. and unexplainable symptoms.

I feel like people who are strongly against it may have been victimized by it in some way..directly or indirectly, so they feel like it's this 'evil force' that needs to be reined in.

@NoN-RaTiOnAL Yes there can be a lot of guilt initially, maybe feel isolated too if you don't know anyone else going through that. Most people try to tell you to 'go back to your parents' but they may not value independence so much and are okay with the status quo. Sounds like you're on the right track!

He doesn't owe us any videos lol if anything he's given so much free content over the years, and space here for people to connect/ask questions. It'll be AOK. Much love.

Uh.. boundaries.. low contact.. being firm when boundaries crossed (if the situation is such that I could not leave it entirely). Also would you consider moving to another country? Seems to be the next good option if you are in a position to.

@Focus Shift I sort of know someone who's doing freelance 3D animation, combined with graphic design and illustration, so more like marketing side of things. He was doing pretty well/steady most of this clients seem to be startups or well established companies, maybe some networking could help with that.

Martial arts sounds like a healthy way to release it. I did a lot of that with music as well (piano, drums.. drums are great for that).

Yeah.. my parents are/were like this plus other issues. It's definitely not on you to 'take care of them' in this way and it seems like it is hindering your development. It's not okay that they treat you like this, they're the adults and you're supposed to get to be nurtured by them, not the other way around! So get that straight in your head first (this will take some time if you've been guilted life long, took me years to understand what they were doing and to get over the false guilt part). Many parents like this will gaslight you into thinking you owe them shit because they fed/clothed you and constantly hold you responsible, you are not! Anything you do for them is a bonus/out of love and if they can't see it that way, that's on them and their perception of reality. You will probably need to make some boundaries (which they will not like and throw all kinds of guilt tactics, just be ready for that..), and make explicit to them that you need space to live your life and cannot be around so much to take care of them. That it is important that you get to be independent of them. Don't buy the guilt-tripping, this is all just perpetuating their dependence on you (and you're the child too for god's sake!). The other aspect is to become financially independent. Because unfortunately whenever you are accepting their help, it gives them the power back.. at least in the beginning this is pretty important, to make clear that you will not accept help in exchange for this behavior/dependence. Also my parents had a tendency to make me dependent on them as well, so watch out for that one, like trying to stop me from moving away, not letting me explore careers, always dangling some money to 'buy me back', etc. For me it wasn't so straightforward as my parents were also very authoritarian/threatening, so I had to slowly come out and say these things.

Your mom is pretty cool and open-minded, especially like you say given the environment she's in. It's an interesting topic, I have gifted books before to give the other a new perspective or shift that I think may help them in general.. they sort of have to be already receptive to me doing that like your mom. I think books are wonderful as gifts I remember after reading the Complete Conversations with God books I wanted to just give a copy to everyone around me! I also sort of took the 'opposite' direction by simply not gifting on those occasions unless it felt right to. It's not so much an active thing I'm doing, it's more like dropping the thing - the tradition around it, or that I should/have to, not based on authentic feeling around gifting to someone in particular. So nowadays when I do want to give someone something it just happens spontaneously on any day and I don't feel obligated to which is liberating.

I am just loving the vibe in this thread.

Amen to that, we're so trained to always be 'going somewhere' that if we are still and 'waiting' we have somehow failed. So much wisdom comes from spaciousness.

@Matt23 I was looking into it a bit, have you tried finding a naturopathic doctor/clinic in your area? (for urine test) I'm skipping the test part for now and just going to the detox..