puporing

+1. ?

I recommend a therapist if you can afford that. If not... Yeah it's a tough one coz I didn't get out of it on my own. It is hard to find a healing relationship outside of therapy relationship because therapy is about giving you the healing from a trained professional (as opposed to two way in most other relationships), and in this case a very specific kind of healing you need. Sorry if that's not much help but this really helped me go beyond it and I no longer have panic attacks and nightmares about my mom, it's why I keep saying. ? Maybe there's a way to do all this through journaling and introspection/meditation. But I still feel like therapy in combination with those things made it more efficient. Spirituality alone I found was not enough (unless you're really gifted and just able to zoom out of your whole history and the story of you), maybe if you had access to psychedelics that could work similar to therapy, but right now seems to me you need something more specific to you and your past for this.. Finding a good therapist was also a kind of a process in and of itself (not encouraging) but I did eventually find a Jungian psychologist who interpreted my dreams.

@Matthew85 Do you think there might still be some lingering shadow stuff to work through? That stuff is sticky sometimes.. I know I still have some to move through and can affect me in ways that feels "out of my control". When this happens what often helps me to "get back" to the expanded consciousness is to get outside, take a walk or drive, notice what's around me and appreciating the perfection of what's around. It sometimes immediately can snap me out of the zoomed in "perspective".

Just remind yourself again and again and again when you fall back. And notice ultimately that it's a choice which "state" you choose. So maybe sometimes you do wanna just be Matthew and forget about the other stuff. Also the question always arises for me is... Where others are at when you interact with them and go along with their stories... It's a weird feeling where you have to act a bit.

It's a muscle that gets stronger the more you use it.

I don't even. ???

Ok reading what you wrote it seems to be a misalignment of what you internally truly want for yourself (that you enjoy being with yourself so much because you're in a blissful state and don't actually need all this distraction that don't vibe with yours! And only want those that do vibe on your plane), with your conditioning of what it is an expected behavior from you from "others". Start to accept that fundamentally you have changed so much that this conditioning is not serving you anymore. And that is okay. And that you could find people who gets where you are at. It may be more challenging but that's because you've grown so much and most do not dedicate themselves to self-growth and self-realization. Sounds like the living situation isn't helping so you may need to reconfigure this. But yeah.. not vibing with someone and spending tons of time with them I consider this "work"/charity.

Hey thanks for sharing this. I agree with what he said here - the goal of unconditional love with another and "voluntary committment"... that ultimately you just want to be in awe with God/yourself. He's such a troll... "It's actually, the most, truthful lie for you" rofl I can't even.. ??? But yeah do agree with knowing where you are and still need (in terms of relationships) and not just skip this process..

Maybe there’s a possibility that you misunderstand his intentions because you only see what is on the surface of what someone presents. But I can’t say more than that.

He’s just gonna tell you to do more 5-meo or mushroom trips until you get it ?, probably.

Just look at the price tags alone tells you alot. I don’t know too much about Shunya’s case tho. Same is true with psychologists. Tends to be the more conscious ones who charge less/sliding scale.

Thanks for the suggestion! ? I don't really need a group to meditate with and usually prefer to be alone for that. Was just saying if the goal was to meet likeminded people, the price tag is too high (even just travel and hotel lol), and that's not what those retreats are supposed to be for anyways.. But yeah, I think just keep doing stuff that speaks to you and you'll find your people. We're just on a "hard mode" ?. Like this forum is one of the ways.

Sounds like you're not enjoying yourself there or it's not a 'give and take' situation. Might have to be firm sometimes and state you're only available for such and such.

No luck with that. I may go back to the psychedelic meetup group again.. but last time I went nobody was interested in spirituality, mostly in mental health and having 'interesting experiences'. There's just not many of us out there. Meditation retreats are too expensive for me.

Yeah I get a similar feeling. Being tired really takes a toll.. I struggle with this too.

Um... hard to say. Maybe the limitations of a forum. And more high quality content.

I like them in a cold dish. A very simple/accessible one is just chopped-up squares (raw) seasoned with some salt and sliced green onions! And if you want more elaborate.. look up cold tofu dish (hiyayakko, chinese cold tofu salad) I like them in miso soups too.

Morality becomes a choice because it's constructed. From the absolute perspective, there is no 'morality' as we think of. But when you realize you are everything and everything is you, why would you actively 'harm' yourself knowingly? God gives you the freedom to be what you want to be/create right now and loves you for just being, otherwise it would not be absolute love. You do not have to be any way. But you get to choose.

Truly depends on how much of an 'opening' you think they have. Mine has such a hard stance that they may actually harm me if I revealed such matters and it's just not worth it. If yours has a bit of opening and you feel like it's at least safe to casually bring up it might be worth a shot.

Sneak it in her soup. I'm just kidding don't do that. I don't really know... My parents are the same and have a hard stance. All I can do is accept where they're at.

You simultaneously created a very convincing dream while also created clues and escape hatches to "go back" if you really wanted to.

Well my take is that it's similar to what guys have to do, but guys will try to tell you something else.. Being detached/non-needy, working on your purpose, taking care of your body, having your own approach to life (eg, "philosophy"), knowing what you want, communicating well, taking control of your emotional states, being good at/interested in sex if that's what you want as well (lol), being good at knowing when to be led, have your own sense of dress style. Well overall you just love being this way, and you're not doing all this stuff just to attract a guy, you're doing it first and foremost for self-love and living a great life.

Haha. Can't help it. ? Connecting with parts of myself (I mean as in what's happening right now as I'm doing it here).

Ditto on that. I just had an "omniscient" trip on Golden teacher which I was not expecting lawl.