puporing

Brings up a good point I think... what's the line? Is it okay if someone inserts a link to their website in their signature that is their main work/life purpose, but not okay when they actively promote it or get money from people here? Where to draw the line?

Yes we are a product of our environment. Stress really can change one's 'personality' and behaviors. I am much more able to feel peaceful and from a giving place when not over-stressed or around toxic people all the time.

Yes exactly. @Raptorsin7 It's so hard to know the truth beyond what is presented, one can only really speculate and go with and trust their intuitions. But personally don't have a great feeling when someone asks for something like $150/hr for example and you not getting much value each time. It may be a different story if every time/session you felt like a lot of growth was happening that was worth what you were paying, and at some point you've exhausted growing with the person and then stopped. But sounds like your case has to do with putting a lot of trust on someone from the start as one might assume this community has more trustworthy people than the outside, so I think Leo has some responsibility here as well for not knowing what's going on.

@Raptorsin7 @Preety_India Also I feel the scale of this matters, don't know the details of how 'donations' worked, but it's one thing to pay a few sessions and realize it's not working for you (say hundreds of dollars), vs something pretty astronomical imo. That is pretty traumatizing in and of itself.

@Raptorsin7 I think it's good you're sharing your experience with others who may be in vulnerable places in their life looking for something, despite the possible backlash, which can be really difficult (victim blaming) and possibly make you gaslight yourself even. Vulnerable people need to know what can be out there, there are people who take advantage of this.

@sleep yeah I'd def look into your past more... sounds like it may have contributed to the feeling of numbness or hopeless feeling. We're generally wired to live and keep going, something must've disrupted this when you were younger. Sounds very lonely the way you grew up (feeling disconnected). A lack of nuturing people in our lives can put us in such a dark place, it's a product of your environment mostly, rarely do people who feel nurtured/seen/loved want to end their life I'd say. There are two kinds of abuse - one is more active and easily identified, the other is a lack of nuturance/care, which is harder to identify and thus more damaging imo. There's not an easy fix for this... you sound like essentially an orphan who didn't even know what was missing. Finding a good therapist will help but it make take a few tries (it can be very frustrating). The goal is to have this sense of someone giving you proper parenting/guidance at which point you feel strengthened enough to go on on your own. Meanwhile talking to people who may understand you helps too. Sorry I went on a bit, felt like this was relevant. And yeah the other stuff like finding what you like will come more easily once things don't have this grey tint to everything.

Have you been discouraged alot from trying different things? Often things take a long time to take traction. Or you haven't found something that's worth doing in and of itself, and simultaneously maybe worried about making living. I know I had those conflicts alot...

@BlueOak Yeah it's important to be seen. Perhaps you have gotten so little of it before that this feels like 'indulging'. Yes, financial barrier is a problem and keeps a lot of us stuck for longer than it might otherwise have... one day I hope we can all do a bit of this for each other, have the emotional maturity and capacity to reflect the other without judgment and with care. Thank you, you as well.

What are the things that you do not want/like putting up with? I understand they are perhaps too big to 'change'. Maybe it's not a personal situation but something larger/collective. If so, is there a possibility I could make peace with where the collective is at and inject myself wherever I can in my limited capacity to create a kind of place I want to be in? How does change happen anyway if not from a handful of individuals who cared enough, maybe this could be a purpose for you to be here.

I get you, maybe it feels like you didn't ask to be here and here you are. What if it's not possible to not play the game? ie, what if you'll just be birthed into another life?

Depends on how much you value your time/attention and how much of this you feel is a 'requirement' as you say for your employment... If it feels conditional of your employment I guess some balance is needed if you want to keep your job? Otherwise can just get away from the person or minimize interaction. I'm the same way these days... hard to be around someone just ranting and not really engaging. I have sympathy to an extent maybe they never felt fully heard and need therapy or something. Just doesn't change how I want to engage with someone..

Hmm, yeah it can be hard to find that spark again when you're in that place. What is the thing that you're 'dealing with'/'enduring' that is not bringing you joy and or causing pain? If you can imagine a future where that thing(s) is not as in your life as much or at all, what things would you invite into your life? Is there anything at all there? It can even be a simple thing like watching things unfold around you, petting a dog or watching the flowers bloom but no right answer here. I guess what helped me is first acceptance of where I'm at.. and go into contemplating death. Like, if I were to not be in this body today, feel into what that might be like - being this eternal non-differentiated 'spirit'. You can do that without 'physically' dying. If not, what is preventing you from this total peace that is already your nature even in this 'differentiated' reality? Then maybe you'll get bored of this and want to do something rather than nothing. Go with what resonates with you and don't let others tell you what you should resonate with. See if that helps.

Yeah a lot of therapists do this too unfortunately... Yes some was helpful but some you can tell are trying to drag things out with you and keep telling you you're still sick to keep you seeing them at pretty outrageous prices. It's really hard to tell the difference when you're in a vulnerable place.

I just thought Leo's guidelines weren't being enforced, which gave the sense that some people were allowed to "break rules" than others. Maybe if he was more clear on how exceptions are handled it would make more sense.

Hmm... very tricky given the social climate where you're located. Almost like the more it is suppressed the more it makes you think about it/obsessed. I guess talking about it here might help as you feel safe to express it and people aren't bashing you with a hammer. Could try talking to a foreign therapist if you can afford to. How important is expressing this side of you to you? Maybe you would even consider relocating to an LGBTQ-friendly country for it.

???

Was chuckling at the same. ???

@Federico del pueblo No worries, much love. Cheers!

@Federico del pueblo There was actually a subtle but enough difference between how you said it vs how Leo said it. One comes off as more derogative/objectifying than the other and I don't think men nor women likes being talked about that way. ?

@Federico del pueblo Not all feminists = anti-sex/kink. In fact I think it's not very feminist to be anti-sex, it's like saying women are not allowed to be sexual/kinky, not exactly pro-wom . https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex-positive_feminism

Oh yeah that was a great one. Very comprehensive.

Yes it is if you like them, it is not the height that a 'taller girl' may be rejecting, but the fact that the 'shorter guy' simply doesn't try on them or feel insecure about this and this further validates to them taller girls don't want shorter guys. But of course like anyone if you get a pretty strong 'no vibe' there's no need to keep pressing either. An inch is like nothing.. I've been pretty strongly attracted to guys a foot shorter than me.

Was there some kind of trauma to the body or a repetitive strain? I had a couple of low-speed rear-end accidents before and slowly then developed back/neck pain. I couldn't get rid of it on my own, in the end, I worked with a chiropractor who did some re-alignments on me and after about 6 sessions I was pain-free. Maybe worth checking that out as an option. They usually also recommend some exercises/stretching based on your condition.

@Preety_India @Gregory1

"Assumption Is The Mother Of All F**k-Ups" ?