puporing

@Valach It's a bit complicated to explain it all. I don't know if you're more into monogamy or non-monogamy for starters or where you stand with that. I think that's something for you to figure out first (might take awhile too ) as the answer to your question will be quite different depending. This forum you will get mostly monogamy-oriented answers/viewpoints something to consider.

I felt less tired while on rounds and maybe so outside of rounds too. I would say overall my energy has gotten better but will have to track it for long term for that and my other more physiological symptoms. Other symptoms lessening I'm not sure if direct correlation as I've been doing a bunch of things, but just energy level alone is a big deal to me. I've tried alot of things and kinda ran out of options so this also sounded like a very plausible cause of my problems that doctors can't find.

Had a similar problem getting tested so I just began the detox. Finished 5-6 rounds now no problems. I know some naturopathic clinics offer the test after consults in Canada.

This sounds more like an open relationship set up to me. If that's not what you're looking for/ready for and if that's what she wants then it's ultimately incompatible at this point in your lives.

Lack of quality relationships in your life in general can make you do that - like if you can't be yourself around anyone except for a potential mate.

What I know is a cult is my family of origin (and by extension the culture it originated from). And this is so farrrr from that.

Anger has an underlying feeling of sadness and loss. You could try writing out all that is making you feel angry (and I know you have on this forum but there's probably more). Maybe write a pretend letter to your mom without reservation, maybe have a trusted person read this out loud (or a therapist if you can afford that). If you can find a child-centered therapist/healer that would also help tremendously. And this for reference on grieving: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c95sfyv-M8M

@Preety_India Might be from your childhood and your situation with your mom. I've had similar thing too. Don't be ashamed of it, just try to find ways you can express it better.

You don't wanna know.

First thing that came to my mind hahah. Glad someone said it for me.? Well yeah in that case, it would be desired not unwanted. ?

So let's say there was some disagreement about something.. a more trivial example like leaving dishes in the sink. Person A feels they want to get it all in one go so they leave the day's dishes in the sink and let it accumulate while person B wants to keep it clear as they go and feels stressed out/like they have to always clean dishes after the other whenever they come to the kitchen. One way to approach it would be... "Hey I know where you're coming from with doing a big clean in one go each day and that could be really efficient, I'm on board with that when we have large amounts of dishes. But I love the feeling of coming to a nice clean kitchen that's ready to go whenever I come in. I feel bogged down by dishes when that's the first thing I have to do to use the kitchen. Having a clear sink would really help me feel excited about making food and drinks here, do you think you could help me by clearing out the sink as much as possible throughout the day?" Express genuinely how it makes you feel while being empathetic to where the other came from. In this case you're acknowledging why the other person might prefer their way while expressing your needs. They might still get upset at first and we can't really control how they react after that point. But less likely when it is expressed without disrespect to the other.

Could look into "Non-violent communication". Comes down to communicating your feelings without resorting to harmful language/put downs. If they can't do that with you then it's not a good match for you in the long run.

LOL. What @Leo Gura said. ? But also Abreva for cold sore. If you catch it early on it goes away in like 2 days with that and may not fester further. Good luck!

You're doing good. ? Thanks for the forum space.

Hahah, yeahhhh he's pretty cool

@Ulax I don't have any books to recommend.. but find what you love and you'll find your people. And... they'll still come and go but more chance of a deeper connection

Not sure, perhaps the difference is less for a man, but for a woman, I find that there is a world of difference. I couldn't realistically be an individual in an Asian country/culture and not be ridiculously feminized to survive, or maybe expect to be sexually harrassed as an exchange for employment (which in Japan there don't seem to exist many jobs for women except for sex work). Not to put down sex work just pointing out the limited options and ways of being.

Oh yeah I love Gabor Mate. Recommend all of his books.

@Husseinisdoingfine I would describe the dominant theme in these countries as being highly dissociated and people tend to relate based on superficiality/"what looks good" over "what's real". There's dissociation everywhere but more so in Japan, Korea, and China. Vancouver has a similar kind of feeling to how Japan seems to be... Also we need an UBI .

Don't know about others, I was doing pretty well/getting better for awhile until a recent visit to my parents'. It's like a memory the body keeps or something. Even though I've moved on and consider myself 90% healed psychologically, the long term health effects are still there and has been debilitating at times. Hope one day I can get to the point where the body can be at its optimal again.

It's all up to you and what you want in the moment . I don't really suppress myself but sometimes find it bothersome/distracting so I just mentally drop it and I've gotten to a point where I can turn myself on and off at will (mostly...), so I find that kind of ability helps you not feel so at the whims of your body chemistry and can be liberating. But it is not suppression, just dropping the desire like hitting a pause button. And I embrace it when I want to again LoL.

Someone could be somewhat "spiritual" without labeling it as such or consciously knowing it as such until maybe later introduced to it. I guess being open-minded more than anything. And then there are many who can be quite dogmatic/non-spiritual but do psychedelics/other drugs for example...

????‍♀️

Nothing wrong with skipping what others do (marriage, kids) altogether if it doesn't speak to you. Seems like you've had your fill of the "caregiver" role. Yes it's very possible to be exhausted by taking care of your family from a young age (mentally/emotionally and/or financially) and only find the opportunity to live your life once you are older (pretty common in traditional hierarchical cultures where the child is expected to take care of/soothe the parents). I to this day feel like my parents and most so called adults I interact with are "toddlers" from a developmental standpoint... And that's enough for me .

I wouldn't want to live there at your level of development. One could argue that it is more "grist for the mill" but it's also not something pleasurable to deal with in the relative. You can have compassion towards something but don't have to force yourself into an incompatible situation long term. Not sure what is keeping you there many people leave after awhile.