puporing

Is it not "fun" for you before you reach orgasm? Something's wrong there. ? I have plenty of fun even if not reaching the "orgasm" it's not what really matters for me in the end or the only thing that constitutes "good sex". Nothing wrong with bisexuality. I've met a pretty hot bisexual guy once who was also slightly more into women. He seemed to be a lot more sexual than most straight guys I knew, and know "his way around" even though he hasn't been with a woman before me surprisingly, more than most guys I've met anyway. And he was definitely more masculine than most I've met (with a touch of the feminine). Don't let that make you feel emasculated. That's all construction in your head! Actually now that I think of it... one of my favorite artists is also a bisexual man... and he's super hot. ?

It sure stays with me. Doesn't mean I have to now go and do "teaching" to prove it to somebody, that's entirely one's choice. Awakening with psychedelics is still a relatively new way of doing things, I imagine in the future we'll see more folks come out like Leo who advocate for it. Right now this is all still niche, doesn't mean it's not a valid way. Don't know about how deeply Eckhard Tolle has investigated into the nature of reality, I suspect not as deep as Leo has though based on his content.

It's not to say you can't have a breakthrough god realization type of awakening "sober", but that's probably such a minority of people doing years and years and hours and hours of meditation. Efficiency matters to some people. Nobody says you can't do it sober but it's just so much less efficient for most people.

Potentially ignorance, but also basically if they all advocated for psychedelics like Leo does they couldn't get enough "students" anymore and charging that kind of money lawl.

It's interesting to see all the answers and see where I have been and where I have not but have a similar interest in... It feels surreal to have this confirmation that you're all "me" at various stages or facets hah. Excuse the tangent... couldn't help it.

well said.

@bythos I get what you're going through. I've been where you are at where my mom was always emotionally down-trodden as well. But eventually, I realized I can't be her crutch anymore and she needs to grow up and learn to handle herself. If she can't be a mother for me at least she could be a grown-up for herself and not make me into her "mom". It was one of those tough love moments. I've had to let my mother know because I needed way more space and less interference with my life than she was giving me, as well I was really in the middle of grieving my childhood. So I did let her know about my thoughts on some things in my childhood (not everything coz she is defensive and not receptive about it). It kind of went over her head mostly, especially her contribution to things. But I think deep down she knows and has since given me lots of space. I guess just don't expect a good reaction or acknowledgment of what you went through. And you may have to deal with additional abandonment (just be prepared). Daniel Mackler talks alot about this check out his youtube channel, it might help. It's one perspective.

Haha well said Um yeah.. no need to feel guilty at all. Sounds like at least it's not causing you too many problems. Psychologists love to use the childhood thing and act like clinicians when women seek attention from males, but I think that's kind of BS, and maybe even a bit misogynistic since they're saying we shouldn't have these feelings/desires.

Oh yeah I love those guys! Check out Plini too : ) .

Stuff I've been contemplating lately. You've put things really well together and brought clarity for me. Thank you!!

There're lots you can do to prevent it as much as you can. Ask questions/communicate, don't rush into it with strangers, use protection, vaccinate against the ones there're vaccines for, do testing semi-regularly.

I'm not saying there can't be variety in "kinds of sex". It's just that outside of it there's a general disconnection and coldness, like a wall people have that affects the sex. I don't know what it is, people fear of getting hurt, getting too attached and vulnerable?

The higher you go the more alone you get. That you recognize there's less truth in being manipulative, unconcerned, "mean". It's more alone and difficult to have your heart open to others, knowing full well most of them cannot receive truth and honesty. I'm not saying there's nothing to work on, but is it really what you want to work in the opposite direction of growth.. There's something ahead that is available where you can embody both truth and love and be desired by the opposite sex. This is what you should aim for to be truly happy with yourself, not falling back to unconsciousness.

Problem is most guys want sex but treat it like a robotic thing and doesn't do anything to emotionally connect. Then sex becomes mechanical. It's like they both want this thing but fear it because of intimacy, attachment and love.

Beauty, love, being a creator in this reality, explore consciousness, embodiment of truth.

Hopefully see fewer deluded folks around in 10 years than right now.

Hmm yeah I guess it all depends on the person. I found what I think was a pretty competent/caring one. Don't know if it'll ultimately help but she is going over stuff in wayyy more detail than my family doc has. There's apparently some kind of "complete" viral testing you can only get from Germany that naturopaths have access to. (At least in my country can only get it from naturopath). She also told me that doing heavy metal chelation tends to deplete a lot of micronutrients if you're not supplementing them at the same time. So I'm going to be on some IV thing for awhile for a booster and see how it goes.

???

Firstly, floatation tanks are great tools for meditation and this sort of thing . Yes.. and you were. You were a captive at the mercy of your caregivers for the most part. Basic survival had to trump whatever feelings you had at the time. This is good, it shows that she had grown since you were younger. But you still have wounds to heal. Was confronting her the first thing that came to mind? If being honest is what you need to live a good life then that's what's right for you. Sometimes we may not need to fully confront someone, but enough to fully acknowledge to ourselves what happened to us. All depends on your situation. Perhaps you need to create some boundaries and the only way to do so is to be more honest about this with her and that you need the space to heal.

Depends on what helps you thrive. I would just be open to opportunities as they come up in your case. Plus not every "relationship" or encounter is the same so try to let go of your conditioning around how dating should look like. Make it so that it works for you and the other person.

Do you want to learn to code your site or not and just get something like Squarespace? The first option is more time consuming and imo not worth pursuing in your case since I'd want to focus on getting clients. The second option can get you started quickly (though I have less experience with Squarespace maybe someone else can address how easy it is to navigate it). And then you'll probably want to add some scheduling management plugin, some I have seen and like are Practice Better, Jane app. Basically you don't need to code things like that just grab what's already available. Not hard to embed videos, you just have to upload it somewhere and link to it on the page, similar to how you embed images in html. Domain I just go with GoDaddy there might be better ones. I would say it's easy to look up/quickly learn html and CSS to be able to customize your site, since you are not dealing much with backend code.

Lately I have been reflecting on my own experience dealing with mental health professionals - the benefits as well as negative outcomes of my various relationships with therapists. I want to get very real and honest about my feelings on this profession as a whole, the way our society is treating mental health "problems" through the reliance of therapists, as well as share/discuss proposals as to what might be better alternatives in the near/far future. I think this is worth pondering as many people seem to have little resources when it comes to dealing with their mental/emotional health. (I won't go into the spiritual aspects where therapists are clueless about and therefore misguide people in general) One of the biggest problems I see with this profession is its very transactional nature. That someone experiencing emotional hardship (almost always through no fault of their own but their circumstances) is at the mercy of paying large sums of money to be listened to and empathized with, with no way of telling if such listening and empathizing is even genuine or simply as an exchange for payment. This very structure goes against the nature of what ailed the person in the first place – that most mental health issues stem from a lack of unconditional love/quality relationship in that person’s life. And thus, to then slab an artificially created relationship that is not out of genuine care (because there’s simply no way to know when money is involved, especially at large sums), further reinforces the idea that unconditional love does not exist and the person can only “buy” it. The relative cost of therapy matters. Most psychologists and counselors charge somewhere between $150-$200 per a 50 minute session, while minimum wage are roughly $10-15/hr, a more than 10x rate than a minimum wage worker, who makes up the majority of the population. Myself and others who have tried therapy can agree that the very structure of seeing someone once a week for an hour (or less) actually helps to create a cycle of “addiction” rather than resolution. The problem is that it is much more profitable for a therapist to drag things out with a client in drip feed than to just sit and talk to them for a whole afternoon – which may be enough to set them on their way/point them to the right directions, than to keep them feeling stuck and in an emotionally vulnerable state. More and more I have come to realize that the scheduling nature of psychotherapy induces dependence rather than independence. Even if the goal was independence, this is not how most therapists today practice their craft. Every therapist I have encountered tries one way or another to “drip feed” so that I would keep coming back week after week, months after months. What simply would’ve worked better I realized, was just one very long and honest conversation to set me on my path again. This may or may not be common, but sometimes a therapist can use their ability and position of authority to make someone emotionally dependent on them by subtly or unsubtly discourage the formation of other relationships. And then refuses to form a real connection with the client outside of their practice – thereby creating a literal hook for someone to keep paying them and coming to see them – as a friend/confidant. This is highly unethical to say the least, but I have seen this and heard about from others. When all is said and done, therapy cannot replace real connections outside. And this is one of the main traps emotionally vulnerable and socially isolated people can fall into, and this nature makes therapy highly exploitative on the vulnerable. I do not think it an exaggeration to call it "wolf in sheep skin". With all that said... what could possibly be the alternative? My proposal is simply.. that we need more training and awareness on non-violent, two-way communication, active listening, and basic “therapy” like skills, for everyone. That psychologists and therapists can only exist because we have not equipped ourselves with the ability to give and receive. My dream is that one day, we will no longer need to pay someone criminal amounts of hard-earned money for them to listen to us when we experience difficulty in our lives, that we can simply connect with one another. Is that too idealist of me? Perhaps meanwhile, a "transitional" phase would be more realistic, where we could work to make therapy-like services much less exploitative in nature, more accessible and affordable.

@Loba I'm sorry to hear about your situation right now.. sounds really tough. Do you feel like there's no other options but to live with them until their passing? No judgement but it does sound suboptimal for you. But I also get that things can be rough out there "on your own" too. If you have to stay with her it may be worth looking into creating a bit of boundary, if it's safe to do. I know it's very hard to do but you deserve independence (even if living in the same space) and that's something you can create gradually! I am not too familiar with IFS though I do keep hearing about it on this forum. Will have to look into it some more. Thanks for your perspective and input! Ughhhh.... that timer. ??? Yes that is very spot on. That is a huge missing piece in the largely materialist world we live in in most developed countries. Even psychologists need such people to support them with their work, maybe especially them do.

@ZenSwift Yes all great points! A good therapist is often exponentially better not just incrementally. And yes catalyst sounds about right. Often too with trauma just being a good witness.. That's a wonderful suggestion and can be a lot more cost effective, especially if the therapist can also be on board with that. Also can help reduce the dependency issue.

Yes a guide or a thread with verified sources sounds nice.