puporing

Beauty, love, being a creator in this reality, explore consciousness, embodiment of truth.

Hopefully see fewer deluded folks around in 10 years than right now.

Hmm yeah I guess it all depends on the person. I found what I think was a pretty competent/caring one. Don't know if it'll ultimately help but she is going over stuff in wayyy more detail than my family doc has. There's apparently some kind of "complete" viral testing you can only get from Germany that naturopaths have access to. (At least in my country can only get it from naturopath). She also told me that doing heavy metal chelation tends to deplete a lot of micronutrients if you're not supplementing them at the same time. So I'm going to be on some IV thing for awhile for a booster and see how it goes.

???

Firstly, floatation tanks are great tools for meditation and this sort of thing . Yes.. and you were. You were a captive at the mercy of your caregivers for the most part. Basic survival had to trump whatever feelings you had at the time. This is good, it shows that she had grown since you were younger. But you still have wounds to heal. Was confronting her the first thing that came to mind? If being honest is what you need to live a good life then that's what's right for you. Sometimes we may not need to fully confront someone, but enough to fully acknowledge to ourselves what happened to us. All depends on your situation. Perhaps you need to create some boundaries and the only way to do so is to be more honest about this with her and that you need the space to heal.

Depends on what helps you thrive. I would just be open to opportunities as they come up in your case. Plus not every "relationship" or encounter is the same so try to let go of your conditioning around how dating should look like. Make it so that it works for you and the other person.

Do you want to learn to code your site or not and just get something like Squarespace? The first option is more time consuming and imo not worth pursuing in your case since I'd want to focus on getting clients. The second option can get you started quickly (though I have less experience with Squarespace maybe someone else can address how easy it is to navigate it). And then you'll probably want to add some scheduling management plugin, some I have seen and like are Practice Better, Jane app. Basically you don't need to code things like that just grab what's already available. Not hard to embed videos, you just have to upload it somewhere and link to it on the page, similar to how you embed images in html. Domain I just go with GoDaddy there might be better ones. I would say it's easy to look up/quickly learn html and CSS to be able to customize your site, since you are not dealing much with backend code.

Lately I have been reflecting on my own experience dealing with mental health professionals - the benefits as well as negative outcomes of my various relationships with therapists. I want to get very real and honest about my feelings on this profession as a whole, the way our society is treating mental health "problems" through the reliance of therapists, as well as share/discuss proposals as to what might be better alternatives in the near/far future. I think this is worth pondering as many people seem to have little resources when it comes to dealing with their mental/emotional health. (I won't go into the spiritual aspects where therapists are clueless about and therefore misguide people in general) One of the biggest problems I see with this profession is its very transactional nature. That someone experiencing emotional hardship (almost always through no fault of their own but their circumstances) is at the mercy of paying large sums of money to be listened to and empathized with, with no way of telling if such listening and empathizing is even genuine or simply as an exchange for payment. This very structure goes against the nature of what ailed the person in the first place – that most mental health issues stem from a lack of unconditional love/quality relationship in that person’s life. And thus, to then slab an artificially created relationship that is not out of genuine care (because there’s simply no way to know when money is involved, especially at large sums), further reinforces the idea that unconditional love does not exist and the person can only “buy” it. The relative cost of therapy matters. Most psychologists and counselors charge somewhere between $150-$200 per a 50 minute session, while minimum wage are roughly $10-15/hr, a more than 10x rate than a minimum wage worker, who makes up the majority of the population. Myself and others who have tried therapy can agree that the very structure of seeing someone once a week for an hour (or less) actually helps to create a cycle of “addiction” rather than resolution. The problem is that it is much more profitable for a therapist to drag things out with a client in drip feed than to just sit and talk to them for a whole afternoon – which may be enough to set them on their way/point them to the right directions, than to keep them feeling stuck and in an emotionally vulnerable state. More and more I have come to realize that the scheduling nature of psychotherapy induces dependence rather than independence. Even if the goal was independence, this is not how most therapists today practice their craft. Every therapist I have encountered tries one way or another to “drip feed” so that I would keep coming back week after week, months after months. What simply would’ve worked better I realized, was just one very long and honest conversation to set me on my path again. This may or may not be common, but sometimes a therapist can use their ability and position of authority to make someone emotionally dependent on them by subtly or unsubtly discourage the formation of other relationships. And then refuses to form a real connection with the client outside of their practice – thereby creating a literal hook for someone to keep paying them and coming to see them – as a friend/confidant. This is highly unethical to say the least, but I have seen this and heard about from others. When all is said and done, therapy cannot replace real connections outside. And this is one of the main traps emotionally vulnerable and socially isolated people can fall into, and this nature makes therapy highly exploitative on the vulnerable. I do not think it an exaggeration to call it "wolf in sheep skin". With all that said... what could possibly be the alternative? My proposal is simply.. that we need more training and awareness on non-violent, two-way communication, active listening, and basic “therapy” like skills, for everyone. That psychologists and therapists can only exist because we have not equipped ourselves with the ability to give and receive. My dream is that one day, we will no longer need to pay someone criminal amounts of hard-earned money for them to listen to us when we experience difficulty in our lives, that we can simply connect with one another. Is that too idealist of me? Perhaps meanwhile, a "transitional" phase would be more realistic, where we could work to make therapy-like services much less exploitative in nature, more accessible and affordable.

@Loba I'm sorry to hear about your situation right now.. sounds really tough. Do you feel like there's no other options but to live with them until their passing? No judgement but it does sound suboptimal for you. But I also get that things can be rough out there "on your own" too. If you have to stay with her it may be worth looking into creating a bit of boundary, if it's safe to do. I know it's very hard to do but you deserve independence (even if living in the same space) and that's something you can create gradually! I am not too familiar with IFS though I do keep hearing about it on this forum. Will have to look into it some more. Thanks for your perspective and input! Ughhhh.... that timer. ??? Yes that is very spot on. That is a huge missing piece in the largely materialist world we live in in most developed countries. Even psychologists need such people to support them with their work, maybe especially them do.

@ZenSwift Yes all great points! A good therapist is often exponentially better not just incrementally. And yes catalyst sounds about right. Often too with trauma just being a good witness.. That's a wonderful suggestion and can be a lot more cost effective, especially if the therapist can also be on board with that. Also can help reduce the dependency issue.

Yes a guide or a thread with verified sources sounds nice.

Haha no I don't mean like building a community. This one already exists. I just mean to make myself available for conversations if that helps anyone (down the road). I still want to explore some more with psychedelics before going down any of that stuff, thank you. : )

Yes exactly. Seems that one has to find someone compatible or at/above their level of growth to find it helpful. So the key to have better therapists is that they themselves be committed to growth and practice what they "preach"..

Most in my experience are really mediocre at the job, and don't even really understand depression (like it's possible you could do it better judging by the way you respond to posts). I think it's similar to that if someone hasn't had a direct experience it's hard for them to really "get it". The good ones are super rare and only those I would say perhaps give the kind of value they are charging people. I also doubt that the kind of schooling is really necessary (undergrad + grad). In actual practice therapy requires a lot of creativity, and other characters like empathy, big picture thinking, mediation skills, almost none of that is something you get from an undergrad education but through your own perosnal growth, and practice with people. Yes that pretty much sums up the lot of the deficiencies we should be addressing collectively. I'm saying that the current way we're using therapists to address mental health issues is very poor and miss most people who can't afford, and ones who can still struggle with them. Of course it's a bigger issue altogether, Gabor Mate talks about that in such a holistic way. That stress on parents gets passed on to their children, which stem from survival struggles, intergenerational trauma, etc. Yes it is. And I guess I'm talking about mostly the "conventional" therapists, where most people end up with. I think you would have to search beyond your physical location (usually) if you were to find someone trained in that/versed in spirituality.

Hah I have been considering doing something like that low key later on ... Not sure how it's gonna work yet since it would most likely have to be apart from Actualized due to the guidelines and ethical reasons. So I'm not sure yet.

@aurum Lots of things there to address: That would seem to be the exception and not the norm. And it still doesn't address that people have such a small amount of time to go through things in each "session" - of which the length is dictated by the profession. This is about exceptions again, most people I see who are ready to see a therapist want to talk about things, but it is artificially dragged out for months and years when it could be done in much shorter time frame, and be more beneficial to that person's life if they can address things in a shorter time frame if they're ready for it. Two pronged approach would be ideal, both more public funding and, therapists charging a more reasonable sliding scale that is inclusive of low-income individuals or ones without insurance. I'm really skeptical of this statement. Therapists just need an office which is often shared with others (some don't even have that and go virtual), they don't require specialized equipment or tools or input costs other than their office. Yes I recognize they had training and probably student debt, but that's a whole other issue that also goes with other professions. With most other things it may not be a problem, and if you are not having "mental health problems" it would be less of a problem. But someone on the brink of suicide or in a deep state of depression, it may very well have been the thing that led them to that state, that almost everything in their life has been transactional/conditional. Which is why we have hotlines and stuff but it doesn't go far enough.

This is true and your intuition is correct. The anger is still there and hasn't been properly released yet. You should try releasing it, with the help of an effective witness (could be a therapist or a mature friend). Without this release it'll likely forever be trapped and turn on "others" whomever/whatever is close to you at the time. Write a brutally honest letter to those who you know you've felt hurt by - wihtout sending it to them, that can also be a form of release. Grieving your losses and giving yourself more love and understanding of what you went through. It will work out.

Not to state the obvious but what are you doing making posts here then? And the obvious that most people I'm referring to are not at that kind of understanding.

@Raze That's another issue I didn't touch on. My view on medication is that it should be the last resort or used sparingly to help someone get to a place where they can start helping themselves. But ultimately I respect individual choices.

Nothing casual about it for me at least ... It either leads to a solid connection or does not.

Yes... I've seen this first hand. Mix of stage Blue/Orange mindset mixed with spirituality as an accessory to attract business/clients. In reality, these people are just parroting nice-sounding lines and not doing any of the hard work themselves. When you point out truth to them they simply ignore you because it would make them have to question what they're doing.

Maybe mild depression hit you? Do you have a clue as to what triggered the "flip"? Something happened.. or a series of things, that caused you to "give up" so to speak.

Didn't read too many fictions... but I liked Kafka on the Shore, the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle; besides things like Harry Potter and Dan Brown's works.

LOL I was just gunna share that one... Yes he's an inspiration for me too.. Mang this sounds just like when I played it... yes the middle part was surreal and was a "milestone" , and last part I couldn't play it fast either.. rofl.

Hah. Chopin had a thing with Lizst yeah, but all the more content for us as a result.