puporing

Only 1/3 in. Feels pretty culty .

Thanks for sharing. My thoughts are whatever you pursue in this reality, we do need more who can shed more light and truth and love onto it, if you care about the evolution of consciousness. In the context of the relative, you could align your doing and being with your top values and carve out your own path if it's not been done before. Awakening helps you be more free in your choices and ways to go about things. You are consciousness evolving, in that sense it has meaning intrinsically. This right here is also God, and there's plenty to love here. The point is also to see the beauty/spirit of what's here, fall in love with it. Perhaps with the life purpose/work you may have to find a way that grants you relative sovereignty and independence so you could stay the most true to your vision, top values, and truth as you see it. Hope that helps.

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Fast track to God and dissolution of finite self. Opens you to facing of the end of you and "others", could possibly lead to carrying the "weight" of the world so to speak because you become everything/infinite, and Love. Exploration of consciousness at infinite spectrum. This means more of everything, light and dark, etc, whatever the mind come up with. Amplification of insights and realizations, Truth is more immediate in your awareness. Generate "meta truth" about nature of reality.

Second that. Helps with deconstruction.

@JuliusCaesar God is infinite. I once woke up to an angry/wrathful God, but it was coming from a place of fierce love if you can believe it. In the end, my higher self accepted everything as it were but there was such intensity and feeling of being absolutely torn about my own creations...

Ahaha this is how most of my mushroom trips go too in terms of visuals, beautiful patterns and colors everywhere and stuff you mentioned. Yeah I think you are very sensitive so just calibrate based on you. Like others have said the first times can be more intense than when you've had a few under your belt. Body anxiety is maybe the ego trying to hold on/clearing. But sounds like your 2nd one might be in "overdose" territory relative to you. It should hopefully get lessened over time/trips.. I had similar stuff first time on 5-meo where I thought the dose wasn't that high. So just calibrate down maybe 1g is your safe zone right now. Glad you're okay now.

Intense love ensues...

I don't see it used on my end.. But React is pretty trippy and fun... zoom to infinity.

I have my bias and set of interpretations, but from what I'm reading you're highly sensitive. Psychedelics can amplify everything in your environment and "past", it can recreate all the feelings of your past trauma, reveal the depths of delusions and lack of truth in our environment. There are few people truly capable of holding a loving presence or who are even capable of love that does not get twisted by the ego, and so you may have to do alot of that for yourself on this journey, or anchor in something/beings that are full of "light energy". One of my trips I realized how important the environment is for peeps like this. Just stay open to the possibility that some of the stuff gets exaggerated by things like fear and past "imprints".. and how our environment is. It sounds like you already recognize the source of it.

You don't have to justify that right now you need more money, it doesn't even have to be your "life purpose" right now. Nothing wrong with just getting the practical side of things handled so you're not in constant anxiety about it before you pursue the more spiritual sides..

I feel like I actually get shorter trips on higher doses (4-5g), but more intense. And they end more abruptly/cleanly than if I was on lower dosages like 2-3g.

Be as honest as you can be with yourself, discover the voices that may have been suppressed. Don't let conditioning twist how you actually felt/feel. Go through the grieving process - it can be messy. Journal about it/talk to someone if that speaks to you so that the wounding can be seen in the light. Go meta on it and recognize things like, it was pain that was passed around unconsciously, that humanity has yet to grow to its "full potential". Have awakenings that transcend your life stories.

Challenges can still very much happen. Different kinds of them perhaps. How to adapt to a world that has almost no understanding of your view of reality, not even the "spiritual/eccentric ones", and how everything is constructed around that. Being torn between letting that go/getting drowned by noise if you have to be around egos and the atheistic paradigm. This is one of the main reasons I think getting survival handled is so important. Because once you get a taste of truth it's hard to be around untruth for long.. not necessarily depression just, can be very challenging and create almost a splitted self.

Even "Stage Green" can be very closed-minded so I wouldn't feel too bad... Or maybe you feel "bad" coz you feel such a gap in understanding..?

There's only the one imagining everything, including imagining "multiple Gods". Whatever you come up with ultimately is in the one. "Multiple Gods" is just yet another layer of imagining of "the other", and if you want to imagine it so, it would be so. It's yet another trick to fool yourself/God into thinking that there's more than one of you. But yes don't just take my word..

"Each of us" is just an illusion so God can know and express itself in "infinite ways", and express its love to "another", and not feel totally alone, as "nothing". At some point in its creation and knowing itself it will eat its own tail because it is trying to understand itself and that is why there's a thirst within "us" to find out about "reality", I feel that it is the same kind of intention as to why God created everything. "Eating its own tail" isn't a bad thing, it feels like a new beginning and possibilities.

What's "better" than finding out you're God creating everything and fooling yourself. It's the best joke ever.

You have to "re-wire" yourself so that you take joy and satisfaction in those things you're trying to do more of. Might have to "trick" yourself at first but the more you do it the more it sticks. Getting into the mindset that by doing so you're honoring your life. Guilt is not the best motivator. Develop a compelling vision and identify your top values, then the ability to identify and follow-through with the right actions become effortless.

LOL. Just do your thing. Length of time is of no issue (to me at least) and there's even a Clips channel. It's up to him ultimately how he wants to express things. Feedback okay but don't get controlling about it. You don't tell an artist what to paint on the canvas and this isn't all that different. Respect someone's creative autonomy is what I'm saying.

Contemplate aloneness and really being okay with aloneness. Prioritize your growth. Those two things combined should make it alot easier to say no to things against your values or wasting your time.

My take on that is to remain as conscious as you can when interacting with them and limit it to the extent that you're able to sustain such interactions. Demonstrate qualities of living the good life. Send them a generally caring vibe, but throwing timbits of breadcrumbs here and there that are not too far away from their comprehension/sense of reality. Use humour where you see fit.. and yeah if there's utterly no opening I'd just put on an act for the most part and/or state my position and move on.

Pain gets passed around unconsciously. Few good role models. Lack of truth in our environment. Not transcending the limited self. When someone does the work of healing their pain and becomes aware of its patterns, they're better able to end the cycle of passing it to others.

I don't have a lot of experience with it yet so take this with what you will. I did feel something in my head even a few days after a trip. This also coincided with me feeling the solipsistic state in "sober" state and went on for a few days. Is it all in my head? ? Who the hell knows. But the sensation was definitely not there before I ever touched 5-meo.