puporing

Yea I think I know.. it's not about "good or bad", just, different way of being, like if your default is a quiet mind, and you've transcended the need for language as the main way of communication, among other things like need for stimulation, buying into a collective story, etc, then yeah it's going to require "acting" on your part to be part of a group dynamic.

Sure but I'm not gonna be actively seeking it out at this point, challenges yes, but what's the point of being in toxic environments your whole life? I've had enough of that, maybe your cup's not filled yet . "Being" and "doing" are of the same coin.

It definitely helps that the language used by the leaders are progressive and protective of minorities and women. But the collective consciousness is not all at that level and there's a wide range.

Yeah people do try to get you "back in line" unfortunately.. they really want to be validated that the way they're living is the "best way". A few of the "friendships" I briefly had ended that way because I didn't buy into the "achiever mindset". One of the biggest differences I'm sure you could relate is I don't take "human goals" so seriously like most do a "life and death" kind of a deal (but more play and being in the moment and responding to what arises).

Thank you for the encouragement, @Sincerity. Definitely a choice, to go back to the dream or stay this way , or somewhere in between works too.

Yeah I get that perspective. For me I just haven't gravitated towards any sort of fiction/shows for some time (the last two years at least..), I have been absorbed in spirituality quite totally, any books I read or teachings I have been absorbed in are towards more and more truth. Even work wise I had to step out of working for others partially because I could not get wrapped up in the "fiction", especially since most places do not care for creating a good "story". Even if I was to be absorbed in some story it would be related to truth and love, high consciousness, which currently is lacking in our environment.. the story of mankind right now for the most part is one of enslavement/control of one another. Yes there are sprinkles of love and inspiration, conditional kinds of love spread out, but really it's so not even close to the potential. I still experience racism and sexism on a regular basis for instance. Maybe that helps to understand why I chose to get "out of the story" .

Everything is blurred together: trauma, cravings, spiritual growth. Trauma healing can be a lifelong undertaking because your body doesn't catch up as quick as your mind can process, and we tend to want to "get over it" quickly. I recommend approaching both in the relative and absolute. Both will reduce your sense of neediness/strong cravings that could lead to depressive thinking. In the relative you could find some relief through therapy potentially and sort out the stuff from the past that might be holding you back from being your best self. And pursue socializing . Better if you can find women who are trauma informed (or can show empathy for this) so as to reduce the chance of re-traumatizing yourself. In the absolute is to realize your true nature, that which is whole and complete and contains all, and that you are everything, that completeness will fulfill you spirituality. Also the recognition that you contain both masculine and feminine polarities will help there too. You can still enjoy socializing but basking in your own being takes away such a sense of neediness and whatever else comes to your life is seen as a bonus. (Literally you can get to a point where you almost experience the same joy through seeing another couple together as if you're them in the experience. )

I'm only halfway through S1, it's like Actualized.org in theatre.

That’s good : ), makes it possible to have a talk about it…

@Devin Thank you I appreciate your input. Been pretty isolated from most of society now and only connecting loosely with most people. And you're right even if I interact with someone, it's not from the ego anymore but from a metaphysical perspective (almost always these days there's that awareness..if not "after the fact"). Acting is not as required around non-human stuff or when you're not directly talking to someone, and you're free to zoom in on any aspects of consciousness. Acting is required around most people as you lose the ego and realize God, especially if you don't just "forget" it , so the alternative is to trick yourself temporarily. Otherwise you have to pretend that there's separation (even with another awakened being out of respect of their sovereignty and creating a path for connection), and the life stories/worldviews people tell you/want you to adopt with them etc, basically how someone shows up/decide to live their life and how they interact with another is all influenced by these. There's of course degrees.. some you act less than others around, some are more comfortable with you being a "weirdo" than others. It is a loving gesture to act at least to some extent - accepting & meeting someone where they're at and allowing their own evolution to unfold the way it naturally occurs as much as you can is showing love (and at times showing the truth is love also). And in that way, the "acting" transforms into the real, because the love (through the togetherness however brief the interaction) is real and you're aligning with the love. The thing is just to limit interactions to what you can handle (as in not make you feel like living in falsehood). The challenge is with close and long-term relations, where many will try to make you like themselves, adopt their beliefs and worldviews, few can respect that there may exist people who think very differently from their own worldviews.. many will start to demonize you for not adopting their perspectives. Well...that can be a problem even without any awakening .People are usually not so good at respecting another's sovereignty...least that's been my experience. On the flip side, the ones who do I am that much more drawn towards..

@Molaric Anger is a sign you're probably in a toxic environment, that your mind thinks it can deal with/handle and rationalize away, but your body cannot and it's telling you that. It's a sign that you should start questioning the kind of environment you're in and whether that's helping you or doing the opposite, and move towards one that does not rob you of your highest values/gifts.

What people often overlook is that the sharing of the message itself is an act of love. When someone realizes what's being pointed to, it is the most empowering thing you could experience in this finite form we have found ourselves in.

It is like a play, all is play. Some things you gravitate more towards than others as playing. And yes "I" did create Leo to wake myself up. I am saying this despite all that. And I'm saying it despite knowing in the end it doesn't matter, all will find the truth eventually. It depends on God's/everyone's will how much it wants itself to be true.

Depends how much you care about the relative/dreamworld. You don't have to do anything, but you're here, it's not some mission, more like sharing a gift, if you consider it a gift.. Why did you wake yourself up? If it was better for you to know the truth, you can extrapolate that it may help those who want to know the truth. I don't think I would've found out nearly as quickly if not for Leo's guidance, would you have? And how much value was that to your life? It makes sense to me to share, but yeah it'll probably bounce off most people's radar and just see you as crazy, that's fine, there might be a few who want it though. But again, no guilt or anything, entirely one's choice to share or not. Well when you wake up as God of course it feels like all is awake because you're all, so it's this paradoxical thing. ?? There were some trips I had where I had glimpses of creation, but it also felt like I was too limited. The thing I could do is understand God's love which includes freewill and acceptance of itself. The question of how much does God want to wake up, is tricky, because I think God actually doesn't want to wake all of itself up. That's the message I get. And so here we are .

Might be chronic abuse (could be entirely emotional).. and now you've had enough and cannot contain it no more. Idk that's just my experience these things don't just happen out of nowhere... It's hard when it's your mom. You'll gaslight yourself for a long time before realizing just how much crap you were thrown at. I don't know your situation though just sounds like something to dig and heal, probably has to be done away from her though.

It's becomes a choice about how much do you want kill the self that serves the self, and how much alignment you want with God (the big I) or Truth. I mean there's no right answer, you're here in a finite form to fulfill something, to learn/experience. You can know your true nature but still have unfulfilled desires as the ego (or boredom ). But maybe you are waking yourself up because the time is right. So you could also choose to orient towards unconditional love and being a presence/lighthouse for others who are seeking to know the truth and anchor for going through the same process. Or a combination thereof. I think it becomes natural to want to share with those who are open to it or seeking it out. And what's kind of freaky is you start attracting "seekers" to your life, not through any marketing or advertising, but just by virtue of being more conscious in everyday life and through your work. Whatever feels right to you.. You're at where you need to be this moment, trust/follow your inner guidance and there's the answer to that.

@JoeVolcano LOL I know...

because you might enjoy being alone a lot. When you're with someone, you're not with "yourself" if that makes sense. It's not necessary that the person lives in a faraway place, just that you don't want to be around them all the time or day in/day out. I for whatever reason can't stand it no matter how much I may love someone.. it's better to have some distance. It's like even if you may like a nice meal, you can't nor want it all the time. Then there's the issue of metaphysical love you have for all things which is hard to relish in when you're in the presence of another. Most people demand all your attention to be on them (and often give very little)... as they're still seeking love only through the source of another ego. For me personally the projection of egos means I have to live in falsehood to some extent when around another, and I can only do that for so much. And then whatever love arises is "real" and authentic, not out of obligation, and gives freedom to yourself and the other. Spirituality will eventually touch every corner of your life as you knew it and can radically transform it.

@RickyFitts That's cool, he's one of the few others I listen to besides Leo.. him and Matt Kahn these days.

There's some nuance to it. My "life purpose" is more a set of values. But those values don't necessarily lead to just one thing I'm doing. Like for example, posting on this forum is part of what being "in alignment" is for me, and some other things that don't "make money". And the thing that makes me money I can still do it as consciously as possible, in as much alignment as possible, and in a way that gives me autonomy and free time for these other things. I would say you gotta be pragmatic about it too and not run yourself into a financial hole by pursuing just one life purpose, some people can pull that off but that's not the majority. The immediate survival stuff needs to be taken care of so you can pursue higher goals that may or may not generate income for you. This iterative process is maybe what you're pointing to and may get overlooked. Perhaps eventually you arrive at one thing that satisfies both survival and the spiritual, but that process can take time and is not always linear. I think the term "mastery" may be more fitting.. what's something you want to be masterful at if any such thing at all? And you're not doing it for anyone, or for money, but for yourself and the satisfaction from overcoming the challenges and hurdles day in and day out. That gives your life meaning.

@EdgeGod900 If you honestly find more fulfillment in doing nothing right now then that's that. Maybe you just haven't gotten enough of that too. I am not the same as before in "doing" either, it's done with more ease because there's an inner guidance and peacefulness already. It's like.. yeah I don't have to do anything, but then again I'm here and there are things I gravitate to and wish to express, aspects of God. And it's not something to guilt yourself into so you're where you need to be.. maybe it'll keep being like this, maybe not, go with the flow.

Is there something you can combine with being-ness and doing-ness? As well, if you want to be in more alignment with "God consciousness". What aspects do you value the most (in your being-ness?), and you can make those your top values and find ways (work or otherwise) to embody those. For example, maybe you really love beauty.. okay, what are ways you can bring more beauty into yours/others life? That could be deeply satisfying. Or Love, Consciousness, Divinity, Wisdom, Truth, Infinity, etc, you get it. Whatever you gravitate to about being-ness, can give you ideas about how to live that, and let it be expressed through you, in a very precise and unique way that has not been done before.

@RickyFitts Thanks for watching it .