puporing

That's great! Sounds like you're very self-aware and know intuitively what directions to take. I'm not sure if this applies.. but when I first did psychedelics it revealed to me some remaining grief I still had around my past, it blasted out into the open and I feel like that "pain body" has finally dissolved. Not sure if it has helped you that way. I would also recommend psychedelics + therapy approach, sometimes can help to talk to someone about your trips.

Lawl, if it was gonna happen it probably was meant to be . For me was actually a huge relief in many ways, took me off these supposed "hamster wheels" that weren't actually of the highest priority in retrospect (they were at the time to go through the stages). Priorities have shifted in a positive sense, so it's not necessarily that you will fall into nihilism - there's more to dig if that's where you end up at with spiritual work. There's no "need" to do anything, but the Love, Beauty, Truth, will let you know what the right actions are. And you just flow with that.

@Mz Hyde @Sine ?

@Jodistrict Thanks okay, was reading some more of it, very cool. It also makes sense that the "set and setting" can contribute.

@Jodistrict Wow thanks for sharing that! Great to know. Not that I can convince some people to take it..ahaha. Do you think that could potentially be extrapolated too all/most psychedelics? And do you think that it's more of the particular plant/biochemistry or what was gained from the altered state of consciousness that is giving health to these people?

Talk therapy, self-therapy/research. What do you feel is the source of it? Look deeper into that.. basically, the willingness and courage to face whatever comes up. Anhedonia is sort of a numbing of what is underneath the surface..

@Mikey Doesn't apply as much here, OP clearly said it was a lack from his environment growing up, that's not something to blame OP for. Though yes ultimately they are responsible for the healing that is needed.

It sounds like you're actually quite clear on what you need right now. Despite knowing the limitations of, and having personally gone to various therapists, I still highly recommend finding a suitable one (and don't be afraid to go through a screening process with each), and that suitable one you would know because you are looking for the love you may still be chasing to get from another. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you still feeling the desire to be loved by another in the relative. I can intuit based on what you wrote that it was simply not given to you when you were younger and we absolutely need love to form the healthy ego (before attempting to drop it..). I recommend the above because.. one can easily get lost and trapped in chasing "romance" only (or even friendships), only to get re-traumatized because people have a very limited capacity to love in general, and relationships are meant to be balanced in terms of energetic giving and receiving. Retreats are also generally not designed for this direct form of love and care, the desire to be fully seen and loved for who we really are, that a therapist/caregiver can give. I am speaking from personal experience.. and want to let you know that wholeness and complete healing is available to you. Once you find it, it will rapidly open up the "next steps" to you. Don't give up!

LOL someone's gonna come in here and say something like... "Actually, you are God."

@Kalki Avatar I can relate to what you say and I consider myself a pretty sexual person too.. it's just not very good without the right connection (like I have more fun by myself these days most of the time, as most guys I ran into don't know how to connect on a deep level, devoid of love, and/or not spiritual). The sexual aspect is not the only kind of connection available, depending on how you like to define it. I can get pretty "high" from an emotional/love connection without sex or even being sexually attracted to someone. But it's not a black and white thing.. the love connection can very easily lead to sexual connection as well. And it merges.. what is sexual is also emotional and spiritual.

What @Michael569 said, also other health problems can contribute to that as well. It's more like a symptom of something else to investigate.

Late to the post... It's poor women/families who are gonna be the most affected. Yet another blow to the less privileged group.

Yes especially the empaths I think..

Not related to psychedelics but reminded me of this clip:

Pure gold hehe. ???

Lmao, I was sorta gonna suggest something similar but held off coz it's so niche. I did that for awhile (and urban farming) Was a lot of work, though the microgreens were the most efficient time/dollar-wise, just not a ton of demand for it where I live. And you can run into health permitting issues if running out of a home outfit (something to take into account as if your plumbing is not up to standard that can cost a ton more to get set up). So I guess if you can find a market for it (or create one) it's not bad. Definitely didn't make anywhere near $50k in revenue though.

"The highest truth manifests the most loving action." "Love can take everything you have within you, love can handle it." "It's never too late to come home right now." "... what the future holds, I assure you, Love, already won."

@SourceCodo Well wasn't trying to pander it, maybe it read like that. I really mean it that nobody should feel pressured to do psychedelics. It's for those who feel called to it, and it is a tool like everything else. These days I don't feel the need to trip as much anymore because I got what I needed from it. Can always come back if I feel called to again. I just don't feel the need to demonize one tool over another is all, both have been quite useful/helpful

@Benton You're very welcome!

Most of what I've experienced relating to that is integrating all aspects of Self as "God" - like whatever you think of the Holocaust, or otherwise "unconscious" stuff in this soup of consciousness. Can be challenging to see/face, but you can get through it because the Love you get (that is also you) will help you get through it. But yes it should be acknowledged that tripping is not easy on your psyche in general. Most people I meet that do psychedelics can't do it alone because of that difficulty and I can understand that. Sometimes I wonder how some of you guys do it alone all the time too or have no one to integrate trips with after. It can help to find a "helpful anchor" (someone you trust or a loving presence you can ground in) before attempting psychedelics.

Losing the ability to connect with "ordinary people" and "uncomplicated joy" because of spiritual pursuits.

Hmm.. maybe your peak states are merging with baseline state? (But in a pretty dramatic way it seems) I've never done salvia so I don't know much about what that does... Have you tried stopping it and see what happens? I feel that alot of my baseline (like ability to sense and generate insights) is not that different from on psychedelics, but I am not in a permanent "samadhi" state off trips. Sounds like you have something in between going on. Also maybe integrating things into baseline consciousness, can take some time.. Well in the end it depends on how you feel about it all.. is it disorienting or does it feel right/gives you more clarity? What about how it affects how "functional" you are?

@SourceCodo Why so much hate yoo? Why can't someone want both the calm presence and having more awakenings? You can have both dammit. 5-meo isn't the only one that can get you to God realization either. But no pressure... you don't have to do anything with psychedelics if it doesn't speak to you.

Are you gonna be okay?

Yes seen it quite a few times on this forum, but not going to name anyone.