puporing

I know what might cure me but it's not up to me.. is if more people reached my state. I know that sounds like a baseless claim but that's just what spirit tells me and as well through brief moments when someone was able to share their light with me I experience improvements. Anyway, I'm doing fine mostly. The point was just about speaking for people with these "weird/invisible conditions" and the kind of hurdle they face. Basically if almost no doctor can either help you or take you seriously and there's also no support/assistance for basic survival even temporarily, yeah you could see how that pushes someone to become suicidal..

There was probably something else he was not saying on the forum.. like perhaps he needed help to survive. I know what fibromyalgia is like, at the worst times you really have trouble doing regular tasks but you still look normal as hell to people so almost every doctor will gaslight you and suggest you're lying. I have been gaslit so many times by bad doctors that I have little to no motivation to try again. When I tried to get some kind of disability support again I had trouble finding a single doctor who would take me seriously. The government/disability department also doesn't take it as seriously. My symptoms get worse when the stress of survival becomes seemingly an impossible task so it's like a negative feedback loop. It improves when I have some backup. You know the funny thing is? At best disability support will give you something like 1000 bucks a month which isn't enough unless you lived in a tent or van. And even then the people in charge try to nickel and dime, deny the people who really need it. And this is in Canada one of the better places, who knows what was happening in his country.. I'm just lucky coz I currently have some support. But if I didn't I'd be almost just as screwed.

@mmKay I've been living in my van since spring this year. It's mostly not bad and if I really needed to I can find an Airbnb temporarily. Partly it is to save but also to use the money I have to pay visit to places where I live or use it in other ways that's fitting. I will be going back inside for the late fall and winter and may repeat again next year. Yes it doesn't have to cost much I think something like a caravan is the most economical way to go about it (compared to the larger commercial vans).

Kingdom of Heaven, which I tried to describe in the other comment there.

Prior to the "big bang" is Me . I can try to describe it but it won't be the same as experiencing it. Grandeur, golden/white rays, mechanoid, holiness, glory, perfect Love, protection, perfection.. ("Colors" are mostly gold and white as mentioned above).

You're not taking my questioning seriously. I am basically saying, before you awakened, did you honestly have a choice in the matter of "being a human" or being awake? I mean yeah if you're utterly asleep and really think you're a fking cat then you're gonna protest and resist when someone tells you that's not your true being. Oh.. you don't wanna know how much I know about "cats". Maybe you're talking to one right meow. That's why I used air quotes "". Again you're not taking my line of questioning seriously and diverting the real issue. You know when I say "big bang" I mean the creation of this universe/dream, with your mind that is.

That's an assumption though. If the cat doesn't know or remember what it was before it became a cat it literally cannot decide for itself right now, it has no clue to decide or even know if such a decision exists. Imo you cannot say the cat has "freewill" to make the decision as to continue to being a dream character or awake when it has long forgotten what awake is. At best you could say during the "big bang" there was some freewill to become a cat but after that and the dream is set this freewill was gone. And there's also a difference between an awakened cat vs non awakened cat. Which one would you rather be?

I don't agree with that... I have 99% certainty of where I'm going and going to be.. because I'm basically already being it with some limitations (like not the full magnitude because of body but the state will be very similar). Actually.. I don't really think I can leave this body until I choose to at this point. I have a feeling I would be able to live a very long time here if I chose to for my "teaching/divine purposes". Though you know.. I don't wanna start making claims if I haven't proved it yet.. it's just what it seems to me at this point. @Something Funny I'm sorry that it came off as a guilt trip..that wasn't the point. I'm sure people would understand you were suffering. I am just pointing out this inevitable effect on people.

@Something Funny My response would be.. since you haven't awakened enough from my view it's better to do that than "suicide". You could find out more or less what you are going to end up being "on the other side" with some mushrooms for example.. The other thing is about love, anytime someone commits suicide it has a ripple effect on the people around them. There will for sure be people saddened by the loss and your presence/way of leaving this world. Though yeah technically I think most people basically "suicides" when they leave here when their body is at its "end use" or some other karmic determination.. but it's different to me when a young ish person tries to do that especially if they're still healthy. That would be a circumstantial thing more or less that could be improved.

I mean it's interesting your mind even mentioned this if you really think there's no truth to it.. I could help you but.. if your mind has already decided I am deluded or untrue or unreal then I can't help you. So it's a chicken and egg situation where if you reject me you won't ever find what I found..

@Keryo Koffa You can from a higher baseline level switch to something lower if you wanted. It just generally doesn't feel "pleasant" for long and mostly for me it would be a teaching tool to try to meet the other person where they're at. I don't think you can just "forget" where you currently are though in the same lifetime if your baseline settled down more. It sounds like maybe you're integrating some awakenings if that's the case.

Maybe not the exact scenario but.. I get giggles all the time when people less conscious than me try to argue with me coz I know they're arguing with their higher self. And one day when they eventually get here it'll be quite the aha moment for them. The ego is a bitch though and pretty relentless.

Likewise, and boyyy that degree of "outsiderness" you can reach... Good that you try to keep an open mind though.

^I am interjecting. There are many degrees of "I am" you can reach "vertically" to use your words. It sounds like to me he was starting to reach some light, maybe closer to where Matt Kahn is. In terms of the potential confusion with "Father and Son", only thing I can say right now is I've experienced that in some of my awakenings into Kingdom of Heaven, and as well when I needed "more power" to deal with demonic spirits, but it's not a constant state for me. So it did feel like in those moments that there was a "Father" or you could say a sense of being protected by something greater. I suspect this is something I would experience more of when I am out of the body.

@Davino yes those two are related. Good for you. There's more.

Depends on how awake you became during your lifetime. Most people will come right back here, still mostly asleep that is.

There's not really "forcing" but you could say influencing. Also the cutoff part of you is suffering due to it now being largely forgotten, so due to that it can only suffer for so long before it has to come out into this world.

Could be depends. I would say mine was a symptom of wanting to wake up a lot and be hyper conscious. And to this day I will have trouble moving at speeds most people move at in this world and prefer things to "go faster" if that makes sense.

Because you cannot truly forget where you came from and as well discernment of what's true. It's why there will always be spiritual teachers etc.

Well the higher states you reach the more accurate this "intuition" is. Maybe I'm not 100% accurate because it's over text and limitations of this as a result. But I'm saying overall I get a pretty good idea in short period of time. I am not in an ego state, but again you are just gonna keep saying I am, what can I do? Anyway this is all really not very productive anymore. I was just trying to say it's possible to reach a state where you are pretty much all knowing. Somehow everytime I say that there's at least one person that doesn't react well. It is what it is. Kinda strange to me nobody seem to desire the state I'm describing. Idk why you would rather not be as all knowing as you can be. For your information I was really hoping to leave this thread, it is an neverending fight for me every time I try to speak on this forum, that I would rather not be engaged in. But you guys just seem to love to keep on going. For the ones who are refraining from interacting with me in an unproductive manner I appreciate your effort.

Yeah it can. It's because of my state, I don't know how else to explain that. Basically just about every mind in this world is in various forms of "ego consciousness". Once you get out of your own you can understand all the ego consciousness out there. It doesn't take much for me to "know" someone's mind. You have more light just because you are aware of what you were doing and apologized. I measure everything based on how much love someone really has within them at the end of the day and it's not about just some text but how that text is being conveyed, among other things.

@Nemra You are triggered by me just like a lot of the others. I understand all minds, you can get there too if you wished.

I don't think so, I would know if you have. There would be no doubt for me who has reached it. You're still against me fundamentally how can you have reached it?

@Salvijus You are seriously extremely delusional about your assessment of yourself and I could hardly point it out to you due to my relative weak position on this forum. But you can't fool me, you are not from the light you're a devil trying to shut me down. You're the one that needs some major healing and projecting it all onto me. I suffer not because I am not healed but because of devils like you pretending to be some saint and fool a bunch of people who don't have enough consciousness to see. I've seen it too many times and you can't fool me where exactly you are in your development. Every one like you is banking on the fact of my weak position on this forum at this time because nobody can yet recognize me. But I know the truth of how each of your minds are.

I am not your teacher, you should go find someone else and leave me alone.