puporing

Maybe you need to talk to someone? It sounds like alot of pent up feelings to me... Sometimes it helps to just talk to someone (ie, therapist, a friend..). Psychedelics can be crazy powerful I would do low dose to start. And I didn't touch it until I was done with therapy and self healing, deconstructing etc..but everyone has different comfort zones. Some people combine psyc with therapy..

@Juressic yeah if you imagine it you will and it'll feel like it's "real", but it's still imaginary.

Hmm... I liked the kitty with yarn...

Even 5 mg can be too much depending on your sensitivity, health condition, the purity of the substance, the time of the day. Just saying it really can wildly vary. I think I am extra sensitive to it... still recovering from chest pains from a 4mg one 2 nights ago.

@Jonsey Hey hope you're doing okay. If you need money you need money, no need to moralize about it.. I see too many falling into the opposite trap of trying to be spiritual with money when they do just need more savings in their bank account and some basic things. There's nothing wrong with satisfying material needs/desires. Best of luck at your new job.

Which dmt? Yeah low dose is best to see how you react.. sensitivity can wildly vary.

@Michael Jackson there’s some truth in what he says.. I was really feeling I’m not this avatar anymore and “transcended” and returned “home” after some early trips. But you kinda have to hide and pretend to keep a body here lmao. You might get locked up in a mental hospital telling others you/they’re God. (I’m exaggerating a bit..). Though I wasn’t suicidal so I’m not sure what he meant by “done on earth plane” exactly here. I guess there were trips where I didn’t wanna “come back” yet..

This topic goes very deep. For some people, there'll always be a sort of dissatisfaction before one realizes that both the feminine and masculine are within themselves no matter the "biological gender". It is the suppression of both polarities that at least partially contributes to the longing for "the other" side. We don't yet live in a society yet where the expression of masculine and feminine is accepted/encouraged, allowance of such a range of self-expression - whatever comes naturally for the individual. There's suppression on both genders to act only according to their biological assignment, many people strongly possess both polarities in them and this seeks to be seen and understood, but mostly society rejects this notion one can be "bi-gender". On the women's front, if it is the case more are wanting to become man, it seems to me a push to equalize power and sovereignty where it is imbalanced. It is objectively the case that women on the whole do not get as much say in their lives (ie trusted to make their own damn decisions), and are given as much independence no matter where they go - their family, work, or relationships. Most women are forever treated like "subhumans" and not whole beings whose voice and autonomy are just as valid as a man's, they're treated like they're servants to the family system and those with more power. Society on the whole attempt to silence and trample on minorities and women, and treat them as lesser and like slaves. Now they don't even get a say in abortion in even one of the most developed countries. So don't be surprised when slaves rebel. When you say "self-hatred", it's more like hatred projected onto women by their environment, that slowly feeds onto the girl growing up. This clip is yet another instance of denial of women's voice by defaulting them as "crazy". And finally, because you are God, being treated as much lesser than God is not gonna fly for long. The thing I wish gender-dysphoric people knew is, they are actually God! And that they possess both polarities. They're not what they seem. And this is just an avatar. Imagine the amount of self-love that would bring.

Yeah I get that, it's just if it's not resolving it then there's maybe more to look into. How it worked for me was therapy and then there was some lingering depression which taking anti-depressants short term helped lifted me out of it. I mean this was purely experimentation on my part so maybe different for you. Just experiment and see, also you can try different anti-depressants too, some are way more compatible to you than others.

There's something to be dug up there, the antidepressants won't do it for you, it just tries to mask/makes you dissociate from it - which is why you feel that you should feel more. Therapy and low dose psychedelics like mushrooms are pretty good combination. I should mention don't take psychedelics with anti-depressants could lead to serotonin overload.

Ughh... You don't need anything. You are perfection, you just gotta realize that about yourself..

I'd go with what's the most self-loving option. ?

Yeah was giving it a chance and curious about how he is doing it.

Only 1/3 in. Feels pretty culty .

Thanks for sharing. My thoughts are whatever you pursue in this reality, we do need more who can shed more light and truth and love onto it, if you care about the evolution of consciousness. In the context of the relative, you could align your doing and being with your top values and carve out your own path if it's not been done before. Awakening helps you be more free in your choices and ways to go about things. You are consciousness evolving, in that sense it has meaning intrinsically. This right here is also God, and there's plenty to love here. The point is also to see the beauty/spirit of what's here, fall in love with it. Perhaps with the life purpose/work you may have to find a way that grants you relative sovereignty and independence so you could stay the most true to your vision, top values, and truth as you see it. Hope that helps.

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Fast track to God and dissolution of finite self. Opens you to facing of the end of you and "others", could possibly lead to carrying the "weight" of the world so to speak because you become everything/infinite, and Love. Exploration of consciousness at infinite spectrum. This means more of everything, light and dark, etc, whatever the mind come up with. Amplification of insights and realizations, Truth is more immediate in your awareness. Generate "meta truth" about nature of reality.

Second that. Helps with deconstruction.

@JuliusCaesar God is infinite. I once woke up to an angry/wrathful God, but it was coming from a place of fierce love if you can believe it. In the end, my higher self accepted everything as it were but there was such intensity and feeling of being absolutely torn about my own creations...

Ahaha this is how most of my mushroom trips go too in terms of visuals, beautiful patterns and colors everywhere and stuff you mentioned. Yeah I think you are very sensitive so just calibrate based on you. Like others have said the first times can be more intense than when you've had a few under your belt. Body anxiety is maybe the ego trying to hold on/clearing. But sounds like your 2nd one might be in "overdose" territory relative to you. It should hopefully get lessened over time/trips.. I had similar stuff first time on 5-meo where I thought the dose wasn't that high. So just calibrate down maybe 1g is your safe zone right now. Glad you're okay now.

Intense love ensues...

I don't see it used on my end.. But React is pretty trippy and fun... zoom to infinity.

I have my bias and set of interpretations, but from what I'm reading you're highly sensitive. Psychedelics can amplify everything in your environment and "past", it can recreate all the feelings of your past trauma, reveal the depths of delusions and lack of truth in our environment. There are few people truly capable of holding a loving presence or who are even capable of love that does not get twisted by the ego, and so you may have to do alot of that for yourself on this journey, or anchor in something/beings that are full of "light energy". One of my trips I realized how important the environment is for peeps like this. Just stay open to the possibility that some of the stuff gets exaggerated by things like fear and past "imprints".. and how our environment is. It sounds like you already recognize the source of it.