puporing

Need more of these:

just go with your own intuition. the key is to find what's true for you, and not be afraid to look at it. personally I think one has to experience some things to really know oneself and what one truly desire in the end.

judging by your writing it could be that you are actually more spiritually gifted.. you actually can be a very awake person and suffer deeply - and those two things are tied to the fact that you quite easily discern Truth from illusion which is what this world is mainly based in, and that you are probably forced to participate in illusion to some degree to survive or to have any human contact. you can remind yourself that this is a temporary experience.. align the way you live your life the best you can with Truth, find people that align with your core values, etc. anti-depressants wise, I've taken them at the worst of it, it helped, but I didn't do it the doctor's way, I just used it whenever I felt the need to but use your best judgment on that. also... even if you fully awaken it may not take away all the depression, it can help you know exactly why you are suffering at any given moment, have faith that God's plan with you will work out, that your true self is invulnerable. but yes to survive in this world depression still depends much on your basic life circumstances, coping strategies/supports, what you manage to cultivate (eg relationships, friendships..etc).

@Ramu you should make them .

that's an assumption. which is why I said if your consciousness isn't too high (aka survival-based), China is not a bad place to be. they're way past that point. there's more than enough development, more than enough technology like the internet. you do not need full-time philosophers necessarily for communication, you simply need a means of communication. the means of communication is mostly blocked/tightly controlled. of course they're just on a different timeline, I just mean to say the current level of consciousness is not sufficient (eg, dangerous and/or not nurturing) for personal development/serious philosophical work if you happen to live there right this moment. things can always change and will.

and... lots...of...divine...BADASS...God-tier music.

if your consciousness isn't too high you'll do okay or even "well" in a country like China. but good luck if you want to grow your consciousness away from the herd, nevermind teaching anything the CCP doesn't approve of or endorse. that alone is a good indicator for what level of consciousness it's operating at. things could be changing but it's def lagging behind by a long shot if you want to be an individual or pursue Truth.

because your True Self is not just masculine or just feminine it will feel suffocated for being completely locked into one polarity, it will eventually find a way to realize this, trans is just a lesser version of this realization - an incomplete one. what will be realized ultimately is you contain both polarities. but that is not yet acceptable to planet earth, maybe in another 500 years we will finally have complete, awakened beings walking here and making themselves known. but idk what need is there at that point to be fixed in a particular body part, you prob would not desire to be in a fixed form at that level of consciousness and to be on planet earth (as it exists now). so.. I'm kinda speaking hypotheticals just to shine some light on this. though I am speaking from my own conscious experience. obviously this is irrelevant to you if your desire is to mainly focus on one polarity in this lifetime.

there's not much of socialism there right now as far as I know, it's hyper-capitalist with a ruling class, it was better as far as I know about 20-30 years ago but now from the sound of it it's hyper-capital. idk how that'll go, we'll see. anyone with high intelligence and sense of self-direction in China wouldn't wanna stay there if they can help it I think.

poly relationships take massive consciousness from all parties involved to work imo, and shedding of old beliefs. it can work if it's more about unconditional love over other things, which means you've already burned through the neediness karma to a great extent. and at that point when you're not so needy, it's more based in friendship anyway. you also have to embrace to some extent the gender you are not normally attracted to because that could be your partner's partner at some point, hence the massive amount of consciousness required. and that's what makes it hard coz there aren't many very conscious people around to choose from in this particular plane of existence, esp not young people. basically, probably not going to happen so the best you can prob arrive at is opt for some lesser ideal version of poly or stick with mono.

I think because there's even greater emphasis of "the matrix" there. it's like a hivemind mindset. so..any problems would require the collective to raise enough consciousness to correct since open disagreements are not allowed nor accepted. why is that? maybe related to the long history of being ruled by emperors treated like Gods. cracks are forming though. just the sheer number of people who leave China is a sign of the cracks.

that's up to the universe to decide/balance out in the end. not much use fretting over it... there's hardly any direct control we have with our own governments and institutions.

it's a tough job to be the head of a large country, even if not the most conscious one it requires a highly intelligent, wise, and relatively selfless being. yes even the leader of the CCP can channel God at times without knowing it, especially one that succeeds at retaining their position of leadership. actually come to think of it most of the late heads of state of the CCP come off as "wise" individuals to me. I don't think you can survive long in that environment without it, an incredible amount of intelligence seems to be required to hold that position, I don't even wish it on anyone it's like walking on a thread with fire below you.

maybe that is just going to be the case as long as there are minds living on a "house of cards" as opposed to Truth. it's a possibility worth considering.

Best of luck! See you later.

you might have a narcissistic parent.. they have this repressed pain body that they're trying to pass on to you unconsciously (so they don't have to look at it because it might be too painful) through all this guilting and blaming that was never yours. the short answer is to create some boundaries (harder to do if living together, but you could try to do it mentally first by seeing that the projections speaks more about her past than you) and suggest her to seek counselling or healers at some point.. you can also learn some great tools from folks like Matt Kahn who teaches about how to mindfully engage with this kind of mind but that's a bit more advanced/requires a high state of consciousness from you, and I'd still recommend a combination of boundaries and these other things.

@Moksha thank you for replying, those are very helpful and I would agree. (except that animals are a lot simpler for the most part compared to humans and I'd prob be more likely to teach it to them if they could learn it lmao, in your metaphor : D)

this is a bit of an aside but sort of related to the topic of teaching: you can call me elitist but I don't think "awakening" at the highest levels should be taught to just anyone. people with deep wounds and narcissistic egos can really misuse this stuff, that stuff needs to be dealt with first. if I were ever to teach any of this it would only be to people who show signs of high integrity, maturity, willingness to heal their traumas or narcissism. I already somewhat regret mentioning the word "awakening" to my narcissistic control freak parents just to get them off my backs, it already feels like they can misuse this stuff based on what one of them been saying to me, and further guilt trip me about things or disrespect my boundaries. people can use and "understand"/come up with ideas about the word "awakening" from all kinds of places, but totally miss "true Love" nor care about transformation/development (as very few teachers teach this). I honestly don't fking understand why I chose this character some days it's like a ball and chain around my neck, maybe so I really have nothing to look back on and get the heck out of here once this life is over. not as bad of a situation as @Holykael but prob very similar. please ignore what I said if this is triggering. I am just frustrated and appreciate you holding space for me.

it's hard to express the divine feminine and divine masculine both here. I pretty much suppress myself in both polarities and go with the neutral to make my points. why is that? because people get triggered it seems. why is that? lack of integration of the divine feminine and masculine within oneself. when you find and integrate both within you it's the most beautiful glorious thing ever .. please try to see the above as my gift to you, one day you'll understand.

I am blessed by yours also. your value is inestimable.

you can be as awake as can be and remain here, perhaps out of Love.

@Yimpa thank you! it's hard sometimes I appreciate your presence as well.

this is the kind of path I took/am taking, however it is harder to do if you have survival stuff to contend with so I have compassion for this. and teaching in a selfless manner is yet another level of Love I am still working toward.

though I disagree about the suffering.. it's less for sure when I'm alone and with others "alike", but more if I allow myself to get dragged into things.

lol yep. I did a coding bootcamp awhile back and this turned me away from the industry altogether. it can be sorta fun just doing it for its own sake but any "organizations" around it tends to ruin that due to survival. but I get that it can still be a good survival option for some. I think ideally it's best if you have something to work on for yourself (or a very small dedicated team) that you can also make money from.