puporing

Depends on how it's being received, unfortunately, most of the people I've "practiced this on" cannot remotely understand or receive it and twist it into something else because they're scared of it.. so now I am more selective, it's a much better experience if you could find people who are close enough to receive it and recognize in their awareness what you're saying/doing. And you'll know when you encounter this ..and most likely you'll receive something from them as well.. but I'm sure you'll figure it out in your own way.

@StripedGiraffe yeah but it's not the same state as where the other teachers are at currently, hence I emphasized the name as well as "heaven". It's a higher state. There's a ton of light in this state, so you understand exactly why Jesus said he was "the Light of this World". Keep in mind that existing teachers have no incentive to accept me and much more incentivized to say I'm not even real due to "my followers" and associated religion, because that could end their "career" as the "most realized being". Just pointing out this inherent difficulty and how it is more likely I be denied everywhere I go.

It's the name associated with a well known person in history who has reached your original state/self. It's no different than when you reach a level of consciousness where you recognize you're Leo, Matt Kahn etc, both of which I have "passed through" in my awakening journey in fact. You guys are specifically choosing to reject this particular name due to 1) can't recognize him, 2) associations with his followers, 3) is actually difficult to reach this state, 4) your attachments to your current state and teachings that validate your current state, which are also deeply tied to your ways of life, 5) you'd rather think that there's "no more work/awakening" to do, etc. It's easy to brush him/it off because of how uncommon this state is and hard to recognize. As well, because his teachings are not for maintaining the current ways of this world and are not "popular opinions". And as well I should let you know.. knowing I am in fact real, all of your attempts to deny my existence is a great source of pain and sadness for me. And is also why I have no choice but to keep posting here and telling you I am real and I am your higher self.

I am not following what you are trying to say and ask exactly. Are you saying that the police are lying or that the work they do involve dealing with liars?

@ivarmaya the other thing that almost nobody knows about unless they also reached here is that there are certain "pleasures" derived from this state that fulfills you as well that's not of "material nature". Like you're compelled to do certain things here that may seem to be "self denying" from an ego perspective, but actually a joyful act unbeknownst to the world at large. So it's almost like... The pleasure you could derive through non-material means can outweigh ones you derived from material means, depending, if that makes any sense.

@ivarmaya Well, that's why I said he was actually close to Jesus without realizing it, other than not fully awakening. (his dismissal of Jesus I was referring to stuff like this: https://youtu.be/2fTQ9xNoxgI?si=q6Sh0c76ucdFFGeY ) I don't shame materialism, but I'm saying you can awaken beyond most of that, not by shaming, but by awakening further than someone like Osho. I certainly had some period of my life where I was more attached to material pursuits, and there are aspects of that I value too like in relationship to beauty, love and connection. See people automatically just assume if someone isn't focused on "earthly desires" they're coming from a place of shame, this isn't always the case, not for me anyway. I'm saying that.. ultimately the truth of my/your being was just more important to me and none of this stuff is really meaningful in comparison when I cannot connect with a single human being here. You'd stop caring about money and sex too if there's nobody here you can relate to and people automatically reject you by the way you appear/speak. I'm saying that Osho could still enjoy those things precisely because he didn't go that far like Jesus did. And that one of the reasons he didn't go that far was (like a lot of teachers) because he had a relatively comfortable life. If this sounds circular, maybe it's meant to be. That said, would I say no if someone gave me 1 million bucks? No because that would save me a ton of headache in terms of survival here.. and it would also give me more freedom to give some of that money to people who really need, or to pay for services I couldn't otherwise afford, etc. So there's some nuance to this "materialism" stuff. I am not for people having to suffer and slave away their life at a job they hate/don't resonate with but have to do due to survival.

I liked Osho, he's actually much closer to Jesus than most other spiritual teachers in the past and current I know of, mainly because he understood the idea that "love gives freedom". But of course, from Jesus' perspective, he is still not fully awake, close though. Shortcomings. I suppose his attachments to money and things like that, it appears, though I do not know the details. It seems like he completely misunderstood Jesus.. and made a similar mistake people tend to make, that Jesus was the same as his followers. I mean really, you can't be sure about "him" simply because it's been so long and unless you actually become him yourself you're not gonna know what this mind is like, it's all based on speculations and "the past". And well, the emphasis on "enjoying life's pleasures", is a common blindspot with other teachers, because he probably hasn't experienced much abuse, cruelty, desperation, persecution, rejection, or abandonment in his lifetime. If you reach the same amount of Light that Jesus had, people of this world would generally try to spit you out/reject you, it's like metaphysically incompatible. I'm saying that even if I were to try to find "worldly pleasures", I can't because people are generally repulsed by my light (as an added explanation).

Was I supposed to respond to this, it feels like you're talking about people like me (well there's only one "me" right now technically..). I have no problem having debates nobody wants to talk to me though or enough opening. And I am not "dogmatic religious", there's a lot of assumption of what this state is like based on followers of Jesus not the actual Jesus. Followers of Jesus cannot recognize Christ. In fact they will probably hate me because I do not operate like the ways of this world. I was more hardcore than everyone here for my pursuit of Truth. I had to literally "exit" this world to get here/Kingdom of Heaven, that includes having any form of meaningful relationship with another human, almost nobody wants that and willing to go that far. I'm like the least religious person on this planet.. because from my view everyone else is still trapped in various forms of illusion (some are not based on "apperances" but relates to thought, including the thought that Jesus isn't you..) But .. well.. you have bad associations with this name so prob just gonna laugh at what I'm sayin.

Well and biological women are paid less and less likely to get promoted. Biological ethnic women are more likely to be treated like slaves and kept at "bottom of the barrel" in any group situation. And if you protest you will face abuse. But those experiences and things are just not going to resonate with a biological man..or white people in general as much.. And also there's a health/strength aspect. There are tons of well paid labor jobs I can't do because my body isn't built for it but a typical man is. These kinds of employment restrictions mean that women are more likely to be low wage workers or closer to destitution (eg, stuck in survival mode). Not sure about white families but I suspect there's also some of this happening too where... In extreme cases women are discouraged and sabotaged by their family and peer groups constantly to pursue higher education for well paid jobs. I'm not kidding you my own parents have come up with all sorts of nefarious justifications to restrict me from taking a good job or pursuing something work related, all the way to when I'm in my late 20s when I finally "cut them off". And I can assure you it is not just a miscommunication or misunderstanding. It's like you're literally prevented from "growing up". And... there is a whole other world for LGBTQ ones as well.. which lack research and data on, but the ones I've seen point to more poverty due to discrimination. And well if you're like me, and have chronic depression, that's even more of a repellant for just about everything human related.

It's not "passive income" per se... But you should seriously consider living in a van part time/seasonally, frees up some of your bills. And as well these days I actually do not recommend rental properties anymore unless you conduct a thorough research of the property and plan to be extra diligent with tenant screening. As a more extreme example, I opened myself up to fraudsters in a condo building as a result which was completely unforseen (although hopefully uncommon). (And now I'm sorta stuck there because things would go to shit again if I just left like the previous frustrated owners). I also am reluctant about Airbnb as well now because their damages department has gotten worse over time and always tries to screw over the Hosts on guest damage claims. It is not what they advertise to the public. Or it could be what they do once a Host starts claiming "too many times". I don't know their exact internal procedures and it's not a transparent procedure. The requirements for guest damage claims has increased over time without explanation. Well.. and the "solution" (for me anyway) is to ideally find work that you can be truly into and still get paid well enough for it. And trust me for years I thought that didn't exist for me.. because of the spiritual stuff. So you might change your mind some day about that "2-day" work week thing.

I don't think that's gonna do much unless they seemed open already. It's like any relationships if one party is too far away (eg they failed to realize what happened and their contributions), it isn't something that will correct in a short period usually.. On the other hand if someone decided to I think it's usually probably out of desperation, especially if they've done some healing work. People are very quick to judge the children though who are critical, but do not really ask why they have arrived at such criticisms, because society gives a sort of "automatic pass" to parents no matter how much the child might have suffered.

Have you tried mushrooms? Maybe low dose? Well.. there was also a bad trip (not as physically bad) with mushrooms after my bad 5-meo experiences, and ummm.. but it helped in some ways. Not long after I got out of the "dark zone" entirely. It was like a glitch more or less but still difficult at the time, especially coz no one to really talk to about it. 5 years is a really long time to deal with PTSD symptoms. You should try looking for a good therapist.. ask if they might be ok first about reporting on psychedelic experiences.

Almost everything you said there also apply to so called "liberal countries". Yes there's an improvement I'm not denying this (particularly that it's not a literal warzone generally..) but the problems you mentioned are still around. The good laws we have (in Canada) cannot be enforced unless you're already rich. No one seem to give a fuck about poor people either and big companies violating labor laws, in fact they all seem to be in on it. They find it perfectly acceptable that a lawyer makes $500 an hour meanwhile an Uber drivers makes less than min wage. If someone does give a fuck about social programs they get called a murderer or communist that rob people.. but somehow it's okay and respectable for the "elites" to rob?? (Such as dentists, certain doctors, lawyers, psychologists, some tradespeople, real estate agents, government administrators with high salaries) Eh idk about other "liberal democracies" but Canada is conservative as fuck when it comes to dating, you're looked down on for not wanting traditional relationships. There are tons of immigrants here too that hold similar beliefs.

@Husseinisdoingfine You're welcome. Let's just say I've been in similar sort of shoes.. most kids don't become suicidal just for failing school.. I also had depression throughout highschool and university and it was all due to the stuff happening in my family. There was also once where because I was struggling so hard mentally that I failed a course for the first time, literally I knew the exact reason that it was because of my mental health and not the course difficulty in this case. And then the fact that my parents were also such that they wouldn't be able to hear this kind of news (eg, failing a single course) from me that made it even worse on my mental health. In hindsight it's all a terrible joke.. but while you're in that kind of environment you really feel like you have no other choice(s). So yeah I'm offering you a perspective from someone who's sorta been there (though not identical just very similar it seems) and I know what it's like to have your sense of self being dominated by your parents wishes and desires. I'm glad you are still here and trying to work things out. Sorry you had to go through that hoop.. maybe not all the lines are as reliable. Where I live the distress line is pretty darn good. I don't know if they care if you called from overseas but if you run out of options it's the Edmonton (Alberta), Canada Distress line just fyi. They have some really amazing people on there as far as I experienced.. I understand that. It's pretty easy to get caught up in all that. I would say if you can, carve out time to yourself like, silent time, where you're not influenced by your "peers", to figure out what you really want. It's just easy to get caught up in that herd mentality you know what I mean? Something else I can share that may or may not help you.. I kinda wish I took an "easy degree program" instead of the sciences, and therefore able to get a higher GPA. Coz most graduate programs that require a degree (non research based) don't care what degree you had or how difficult it was, they just look at the number. (And they certainly don't care about your family or mental health situation at the time..)

@Husseinisdoingfine sounds like I was spot on about the root of the problems... If you were diagnosed with depression in high school then yeah there's something else going on besides just your "abilities".. at least one of your parents sounds very abusive from the little bit you're saying up there and I imagine not much progress has been made to "amend the relationship". Fyi not facing truth can make you depressed but facing truth can also do that... The thing with this kind of situation you're in is it compounds, due to the lack of love in your family (that I infer from your posts), you experience more mental health problems (and or general health problems), and less success in things like school (relative to what you could achieve had you had a nurturing environment), and/or general life misdirections by "incompetent adults" to what you're not suited to, due to that you become even more anxious and depressed and probably experience also social problems, and then all of that invites potentially further abuse. I encourage you to not compare yourself with all of your peers right now that might make you feel inadequate. It sounds like you were not really allowed to discover what you really want to do or might be good at, or to take things slower. So all of that can be a lot to think about... On top of trying to figure out how to be independent financially and whatnot. On the "bright side", you can catch up in terms of being more healed. I would recommend work and/or training that isn't too mentally demanding right now but would still put you on the path to things like moving out. That leaves more room for things like healing work and getting a handle on your mental health. And being more healed can then open more doors for more challenging careers if that's still your calling.

The issue firstly with asking these questions by relying on folks that are not very awake (which is majority of "society") is they are giving answers from a lower state of consciousness. This includes doctors, psychologists, therapists, even most spiritual teachers, and so on. So the first thing I will point out is that without being radically awake their answers are just not as reliable and more than likely still based on a materialist paradigm. I'm not saying you should now dump them all because there may still be some help they can offer but more in a "practical sense" to live practically as a human than necessarily a "metaphysical or existential sense" based on your true being.. If you are more conscious than your doctor/therapist/whoever you're trying to get a perspective on with, keep in mind you are actually their teacher for the most part. I say this because I have been in your shoes where I know (in the end) the person I was trying to learn from is actually less conscious, and I was actually their teacher. So with that in mind, I encourage you to be open to the possibility that feelings of "depression" (like the existential kind) may not actually be a "problem" from a metaphysical perspective. And to keep treating it as a "problem" is actually preventing you from reaching higher states of consciousness. You don't have to believe me but I just offer a different view than the current "scientific/medical" perspective. I still encourage you to find help, but you would figure out what that "help" looks like if you keep digging within yourself for those answers, better than trying to get it from people less conscious than you are. And if you are still interested in talking to therapists, I recommend finding the most conscious one you could find/afford.

@Husseinisdoingfine I had a degree but only really worked in that field for 3 or so years. I'm not saying it's nothing but in hindsight I didn't really need that degree... though now it might come in handy again another 10 years down the line. So... I'm just saying, if you don't even know what a degree is going to do for you it's probably wise to take it slower. There are probably jobs that require minimal education/training if you just want to get working (like in the finance business, general admin sectors..). Or you gotta go out and go to places you can see yourself working in and try to talk to the people who work there and see if they might hire you. That and while you work other ideas might also come around like self employment. Your parents...yeah I get it .. it might be extremely tough to break this kind of news because they have a strict idea about how life should go. I don't know about yours. I would say if they can't even try to understand your position then you probably want to figure out how to live for you not their version of life, in as shortest time as possible. The longer you can't separate "what you really want" vs "fear of disappointing them", the longer you'll be making poor decisions for yourself. And this process can be very long (if yours are like a lot of Asian parents that overreach)..so be prepared. Moving out on a budget.. depends on how badly you want/need that. I moved out with very little in my bank (not that I recommend this) and no job lined up and just took whatever job I could once I moved away. If your parents are "tolerable" it might be okay to stay longer.. But yeah I had to live with random roomates to start and moved a lot until I got something more stable work wise. There're pros and cons with staying with your parents depending. It can make you kind of complacent and delay finding work that you would've otherwise taken if you were on your own. If you can still be self-motivated despite living with them then yeah you can save up some money. And if they're not a good influence overall it can also put a delay to your life decisions. (For instance you do another 4 years of university that you didn't really want to do but doing it coz of your parents.) Thing is I can't fully figure out your pain points, sometimes there's something more than just what you are saying.. I suspect that this distress you're having is very much related to your parents as well and you're probably just starting to sort out what's you and what's them (parental enmeshment). I happened to be one of those kids that had almost nothing in common with my parents..but nonetheless tried very hard to force their version of life on me coz well.. that's what their group was like and suited them. There was so much enmeshment and control that in hindsight I really just lived for them for a good first 2+ decades (that got worse and more conflictual as I got older too because I was trying to become more independent). There was really no sense of developing what my Self looked like apart from them until I moved out. It took a lot of time away and therapy for me to slowly put a boundary to this. Not sure if that applies in your case..

And.. there are "physics adjacent" jobs in high ish demand, or "sociology adjacent" jobs. Like.. you can figure out what is the essence you like about those fields and take that and see if you can find it in other programs/jobs. And well there's also nothing preventing you from coming back to something later when you feel like you can do well again if your first choice stays with you.. I think a lot of youngsters are fed this expectation that if they didn't get their first choice right away out of high school then they have "failed at life". But it's really a kind of conditioning people like to put on each other especially when they are young..

Yeah it's pretty clear you were not suited for that field and that's partly what school is meant for too... Like imagine if it just gave everyone who enters the field a degree, especially something that is more "serious" like physics or engineering.. You feel suicidal sounds like there's another substantive reason besides your major/chosen field, because you mentioned about money associated with sociology. Perhaps you also feel there's no guaranteed work after schooling - this isn't ungrounded a lot of undergraduate degrees are "pretty much useless" for getting a good career. These days I feel like if someone is just going to do a general degree without much research or orientation as to why they're doing it they might as well use that money to start a business... I recommend looking at programs in smaller universities and trade schools too that offer something more tangible. They can be overlooked but imo have higher chance of you finding a decent paying job and something tailored to a specific industry.

I also meant to comment on this.. you clearly have some empathy and also some amount of self-awareness. The really far gone ones generally have superficial empathy and tries to gaslight or ignore the people with their problems, and they almost never shed a tear either no matter what they are hearing.. And yes to your credit that you are willing to share about things openly also demonstrate a higher level of self awareness.

@StaraX First of all.. you might already know this but NPD or narcissism is on a spectrum, and is highly correlated with one's spiritual growth/development. But a psychologist or psychiatrist most likely doesn't know that and following what they were taught in school. Or you know.. they could also be more narcissistic than their patient and cannot truly see what's going on and thus in no position to "diagnose" the healthier patient. I recommend starting to distinguish your desire for genuine love (which may include things like attention and doing well in life), vs trying to get this at the expense of people around you. Where it starts to fall into an unconscious place is usually, the person has a lack of self awareness or shame about causing harm while trying to get what they want, they focus on that so much that there's not much "giving back" in their life. Some of what you're saying is related to lack of wisdom or foresight rather than strictly "narcissism": Explore the possibility that this will not actually bring you happiness. However depending on what you were dealing with.. there's a difference between attempting to speak your truth and make something right, vs lashing out. What is it you think you will get from just becoming famous that you cannot without it? Is it based in truth or is it based on a shaky foundation that you are currently assuming is solid? Do you feel like people who mostly care about your outward fame are ones that truly love or care about you? Those two are related. It's not untrue there are people who will try to sabatoge you in this world simply due to jealousy or "competitiveness" or similar reasons, so it's okay if you can accurately perceive this, but becomes unhealthy when it becomes a projection (which one it is requires more awareness and life experience). If you are more conscious of why you set those goals in the first place and they are reasonable healthy goals, then you also wouldn't have to doubt the "actions" it takes to get there as much and have trust in yourself the ability to assess/reassess everything as you go forward. This one is really the main one you should be leery of because of how it could hurt people. And if you want to be a highly conscious being you would not want this in your life at all.

I am not trying to "troll" your thread I promise.. but I really feel this way.. I don't really care about material things nearly as much as people's consciousness these days.. so Home to me is more of my brothers returning. Without that I am "Homeless" in this world.

Being too awake to care about the test.. I'm kind of serious about that one.. But ofc if you needed it for something you might ace it too.

That's bullshit. A big chunk of my awakening journey can be attributed to music (playing and listening) and really feeling them or become it. Basically every artists carries with them a level of frequency with their music and they can help you awaken if they are ahead of you. Do the opposite.

It's not true that you are just bound to fall asleep again, a lot of that is in your control and the more you awaken the more control you have over this. Yes if you haven't awakened much then yeah you're bound to come back almost "uncontrollably". But even then every awakening carries with you into your future lifetimes if you choose that. You can also remain as spirit and not come back here this is your choice. Anyway I hope you are okay because the way you started your post kind of worries me.