Who Knows

None of these technologies allow for the infinite existence of an individual body. With CRISPR, even if it could completely destroy the possibility of an organic death (which it can't), the body would still be susceptible to death by non-biological means. Mind-uploading utilises transient hardware that will soon be destroyed, and cryogenic freezing suspends the natural ageing process AND conscious experience so it's not really eternal life. The Earth, the Sun and even our universe have limited lifespans, as far as we know. The desire for eternal life is only a desire of the ego; You are already eternal. It is just one permutation of the fundamental truth that everything the separate self does is to divest itself of it’s limits. By definition, though, the ego cannot be infinite.

I have been wondering whether my apathy toward modern politics, developed out of the absurdly dogmatic shape of it, is any more than just another dogma. Is it justified? Might there be a definitive developed, actualised political outlook?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_field_entoptic_phenomenon

If life is suffering, then surely the existence of life - and, more relevantly, the creation of new life - is a negative. That is not to advocate suicide, though the pursuit of enlightenment does seem equatable to deathless suicide, but simply to pose the question: is life worth it? I don't know why I would choose to play a game in which my only objective is to unfuck myself. Whilst I am aware that most of our suffering, that which is produced by our egos, can be transcended with spiritual practises, my past experiences with physical suffering have led me to believe that it is something very real - and with that, really negatively valuable. I notice even most generally wise gurus speak implicitly about the inherent beauty of life - a fabrication that, as far as I can see, has little to do with the true nature of existence.

A life of people-pleasing has produced for me a web of dependent relationships, each with their own nuanced persona on my part. The contradictions of these persona's combined with their false nature leaves one feeling like an ever-imploding fantasy. As I currently see it, there are 3 ways out of this: To chose one persona and stick to it only. To leave them all behind and move away. To commit suicide. I feel that the correct answer is none of these, but rather to choose no persona - but how? The closest solution I have is the second: to leave all of them behind and take great caution in the formation of future relationships that I do not metamorphose back into the spider, or rather the spider's web that I currently feel I am. However, I fear that this is a blind running away - that in doing so I will inevitably make all the same mistakes again. Therefore, I write this post in the hope that a more experienced being may guide me in the right direction.