Amir Ramharack

The thing about trying to make yourself a better person or self-improvement is that, the more you try, the more you fail .............. until you don't. But every time you fail you feel more and more like shit, and what you do not realize is that your actually not a worthless piece of scum who is trying to become somewhat respectable. Your actually amazing, and if that's your fucking starting point then just imagine what you can be at the end of your journey. What you need to do is stop waiting for the the plot twist in your life that you see on the tv your constantly watching, where you get some super power and you save the day and life is now suddenly amazing and everything you did before then was just shit and........ I think you get the point. Start seeing the beauty in every day, start with your wonderful girlfriend, then look at the sky and then appreciate how lucky you are to be looking at the sky. Do not fight the emptiness that you feel or fill it with meaningless shit, accept it, bask in it ......... or and last thing, if you do things half ass they'll never work out. If every morning you meditate and try to detach from the world then watch porn every night. The meditating will more and more feel like a task.

I understand that it is not a matter of one versus the other, as they generally go hand in hand. My actual question is, which one should I pursue. I believe that no one should have to pay a fixed price to be healed as healing itself is something that everybody wants but not everyone has money. Do not misinterpret me, I understand the value of money however it is not a TOP priority, with that in mind, I am at a cross roads in my life where I either decide to pursue a Bachelor of Ayurveda, Medicine and Surgery, which takes around the same time to get as it would take to become a general practitioner. However one is much more recognized, and there's the third option of choosing the latter and doing self-study on the prior. Anyways i just wanted to know which option would you do if you were faced with a similar choice.

We all, to a extent desire security in our lives. I don't think that your dream has anything to do with an actual exam, I think your holding yourself back from something that's important to you, and this dream is the embodiment of that. I obviously would have no idea what it is and i'm kind of five months late to the party, but if it still applies you should probably stop being afraid of the unsure feeling your getting and embrace it <3