Matt23

Sailor Bob Adamson. He might have died though. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClbO0pW2O5cDS4bc2ygpJgQ

If it's serious I'd take him to someone professional. To be safe. You don't have to "believe" everything they say, but be open to their help. For me, I found that community and feeling like I had close relationships and seeing people regularly was really key for me, though I found it hard to do this all the time. I'm also not 100% trusting of the psychiatric model for similar reason of being labeled and given medications that only makes things worse. I think it has something to do with me thinking I'll "lose" myself or get indoctrinated or something. But, I've struggled with several interrelated mental and emotional issues (like hitting myself uncontrollably, like my hand was possessed or something), and have gone to a few cousellors over the years. But not for very long. I've never taken medications, except LSD, Ayahuasca, and Peyote. But, I think the thing that helped me out the most was doing a solo retreat and literally just doing nothing for 6-10 days. I feel so much more capable and "in control" / not nearly as unhealthy. A question to ask might be "Is his quality of life getting worse or better?" Does he seem healthy and regular apart from what you've mentioned?

@Leo Gura I definitely feel like I do not have nearly enough experience with this whole spiritual thing, or even life experience or consciousness to help form such a community. I thought living in a monastery would be a good tester to see how it goes, then go from there. @Moreira I wouldn't want it so people have to cut ties with family or friends or give all of their belongings. That seems too extreme. I think I'd want it to be more of a retreat center with some people or employees who live on the grounds. I'm not too sure yet. But I'm thinking of some sort of co-owned land. I dunno yet. I think it's the lifestyle that attracts me, and being able to live in a ecologically healthy way (community + nature + health + life purpose and spirituality = sounds good to me ) Thanks everyone else for the advice.

How to Deal With Strong Negative Emotions

I'm in if you come to Vancouver.... possibly Seattle

It sounds like it could be a great time to do mindfulness practice. I worked at a fast food chain for 3 months and tried to do things really mindfully. I found sweeping especially great for mindfulness practice. I even found I actually loved to sweep the floors Washing dishes was great for mindfulness practice as well.

Hey. Here is a brain dump of how I'm feeling and thinking. I think this is mostly for me to sort out things for myself, but I'd also appreciate any feedback. I think I might be getting some more awareness and ideas about what I could be doing differently, but I'd still appreciate some other opinions. I did the life purpose course, and have been studying and practicing spirituality (meditation daily for almost 4 years, light self-inquiry for little over a year, and a few retreats including going to Peter Ralson's, as well as some psychedelics) and have seen some progress. I'm having motivation issues for sure, as well as emotional issues (depressed, anxious, hopelessness, etc.). I feel more capable than I have and feel like I've grown a bit over the past year or two. I still keep feeling stuck though. I try to improve myself, study, work out, meditate, etc., but there comes a point where I have this huge resistance and lack of motivation to do it. I also don't feel very passionate about anything. I'm starting to see that I'm spending lots of time doing this work alone. I think, for me, this isn't probably the best, as I end up usually getting distracted, bored, and feeling really unmotivated, then going into unhealthy behaviors. I notice that I function better in a community atmosphere where I can get more human interaction and connection. I'm male, but I'd say I probably have a female essence/psychology (if you've read David Deida's book The Way of the Superior Man, he talks about that distinction), and I think I need (at this point) more human contact, intimacy, love, and belonging. I love and yearn for a close friend group where we do things together in intimate settings (like small dinners or trips) where we really can discuss, open up, talk, snuggle, and connect. This is a big contrast to how I've been living for a loooonnnnggggg time, which has been characterized by isolation, little to no relationships (definitely not intimate or close relationships). I've been focusing on the life purpose course and spiritual work over the past few years, and still feel lacking, emotionally and psychologically unhealthy, and feel like I should put more focus into creating meaningful relationships. Though, I've heard from some that this is a distraction, I think for me it's a big thing that I need as I might not have even got that far ever (perhaps due to childhood traumas etc). I try to work on my life purpose daily, but it's soooooooo hard. haha... it's like I'm so not interested in it. My motivation just isn't there. Part of me thinks it could be due to not getting enough of my basic needs met (I'm also 26, probably gay, but have never had sex or a relationship with a man), which might be why I'm finding it such a grind. I feel like my heart aches so much and is not getting enough love, comfort, or belonging that I rally need it. I don't think I'm mature enough psychologically or spiritually to disregard relationships and those other basic needs (like love, self-esteem, and belonging). I'm a little afraid that this lack of love, intimacy, and close meainingful relationships and the heartache resulting from this could actually be damaging to my health physically. Anyways, I'm writing this to clear things up in my own mind and welcome any thoughts or suggestions. I'd also love to hear something from someone (male or female) who has a more feminine energy and how they negotiate between love and relationships with life purpose and spirituality. One of the things that always gets me emotional is thinking how I just want people to be together. Strangely, that didn't come up in the life purpose course, but it's definitely something I want for others. Anytime I read or hear about wars or conflicts between people(s) I feel a very deep sense of sadness. We're all one thing, and I want people to be happy together. For all Leo and other teachers have done for me, I feel like I was conditioned to be a masculine type of person and denied my true feminine essence, and lots of that self-help (as far as I've seen) is very masculine in its delivery. Too put it short, I'm sick and tired of grinding it out and feel like something's not working for me. This disciplined, Stoic, grinding, hard-work attitude has it's benefits for sure (and I owe lots from it). But at this point I feel like it's just dried me up and I'm not getting anything back from it. I don't feel alive or full of love. I feel dry, weak, and frail. I might be painting it worse than it actually is, but that's how I feel about it. Things are actually better than they have been and I feel a subtle yet stronger sense of my capabilities.

Thanks for all of your advice. I feel comforted by having a place to talk about things and have people's opinions and support (or sometimes not :P). @rabbitat I'm not 100% sure I understand what you're saying. It seems to me like your saying that pursuing spirituality and intimacy in relationships go hand in hand, as well as life purpose. If so, I'd agree. I'm aiming to try to create synchronicity between all those aspects so that it all flows easier. At the moment my life is a bit more segmented. And yeah, we're probably at different stages. @Draconis Chaser Thanks! Yeah, that all makes sense. I think I was going through a mini ego-backlash/victim phase there. I think I new what to do, but felt like getting it out. I like your advice with balancing the feminine and masculine as well as developing a loving relationship with myself first. I think I definitely do have lots of parts I have to accept in myself. But I also find that part of that self-love is developing those relationships even if I haven't yet developed lots of love for myself yet. I see it as working the two parts at the same time; self-love and building relationships. Thanks for the thoughts. @Gog Yeah, there's some of that too Thanks.

If life is going to shit and you aren't able to look around and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Not being able to laugh at your own misfortunes in life. Being broke but still buying purely organic foods. "I gotta be healthy! Even if I'm broke and living on the street." Not remembering the last time you appreciated the beauty of anything in life: nature, light, a smile, etc.

Is there a true root cause to anything? It seems to me like each perspective has its own root cause. And there's many different perspectives. So how can we know what is the true root cause or true perspective? Could simply being alive and an ego be the ultimate root cause? To me, root causes seem to imply that there's something that needs to be fixed. Could it be that the ultimate solution to depression is realizing there's nothing to fix? I'm not saying this is true, but that it might be and to certain degrees. If it is true, it's probably not the easiest way to overcome depression or anything else of that nature. It probably takes a lot of time contemplating and meditating. I dunno. I've found that the best thing that's helped me overcome emotional "stuff" is doing solo retreats and simply doing nothing and sitting on the couch. Not even meditating. Have you ever done one or a Vipassana retreat?

Sounds like he likes to share his opinions and talk about spirituality/metaphysics. I wouldn't believe whatever he says simply because he's cool or something. I'd look myself and see if it's actually true. As for the purpose and meaning thing, to me, I don't think anything has any inherent meaning or purpose outside of that which people create. I did a retreat at Peter Ralston's (Cheng Hsin) and in it the facilitator took out a gun (not loaded) and put it on the chalk board. Then we did an exercise where we systematically identified all the labels and meanings we could about the gun: black, kill, round, thing, gun, handle, trigger, hole, metal, shinny, hard, etc. After a couple of minutes, to me, the gun literally was simply a blob. I literally didn't know what it did, what it was called, or which end was up or down. It didn't mean anything whatsoever to me. All I saw was a thing. This tells me that whatever meaning or purpose things have is constructed by our minds and is significantly subject to change and interpretation.

@Gabriel Antonio Yeah, I agree. I'd like to have a consistent and advanced teacher to get pointers from. I'm beginning to see how I could be really susceptible to delusion and doing things improperly or not as effectively as I could without a teacher or others pointing things out for me. Even if it's not the best advice or perspective, I still think it's helpful to see things a different way. Thanks for the support.

Attached is a video from Willoughby Britton who runs a place for people who have had, I think, more severe disturbances to do with meditation (though I don't know how they know if something's coming from meditation or not). The place is called Cheetah House. In it she discusses the research she's been doing on adverse affects of meditation. She also had the opportunity to show her findings to the Dalai Lama. According to her, the Dalai Lama said that "issues will arise if people don't have an adequate theoretical foundation." She goes on to tell a story about how the Dalai Lama went to India to bless a temple. When he got there he asked "Where is the library?". He found out they didn't have a library and wouldn't bless the temple. This seems to be similar to something I've heard echoed in Ken Wilber's work. He once talked about how the cognitive line is like a catcher's mitt for mystical experiences. I can't remember if Leo touched on this subject in his "Dark side of meditation" video. If anyone has any personal experiences or knows of other teachers or books that touch on this subject I'd love to hear about them. Have you noticed your spiritual practice get better as you learn more theory? have you seen other people going through difficulties, then see them get better as they learn more theory?

@Leo Gura Yeah, I figured it'd be something like that. I've definitely considered doing the monk thing for a few years. But I also see the value, freedom, and fulfillment in getting some skills and credentials and producing my own work in the world. Either way, I figure anything that gets me into the "vortex" of psychology and spirituality will be a good start. Being a monk is definitely something I want to do in my life at some point though. Thanks for your insights. They closely match my own feelings about it and that helps me feel reassured. @Tal Thanks. Yeah, I think I'm beginning to see more and more that this process isn't about a "1-2-Got it!" process, but rather more like jumping into a giant whirlpool (field of study/work) and then over time getting closer and closer to the center of my life purpose. Also, I'm familiar with the Waking up, Growing up, and Cleaning up. Do you know what the Showing up aspect is about? @Gabriel Antonio No. But I've always wanted to. I did a solo camping trip last winter. It went OK. I definitely couldn't meditate for 10 hours a day. I found simply laying down and doing nothing helped a lot. I also did another 10'ish day solo at my Dad's house this winter which was definitely full of distractions. It was really helpful though. It definitely made me realize how difficult yet productive those retreats can be for healing and purification/growing. I'm at being able to do like 4 hours max of meditation on a good day. Laying on the couch not doing anything is my current level. Even that is hard for me sometimes..... the boredom! the cravings! Are any of you guys currently working towards or working in a related filed (psychology, spirituality, etc.)? Thanks all.

It seems like going through lots of theory can also have a humbling effect on someone and make them see the limits of knowledge. Hopefully leading to more openness to not-knowing. The more I learn and hear others' perspectives, the more I find that silence is the truer response. @Leo Gura Regarding teaching spirituality and various techniques. After doing your life purpose course, I came up with lots of values and themes relating to spirituality and enlightenment work. Teaching about it and creating places (potentially monasteries or centers) for people to work towards enlightenment is something that I feel a certain call to do. Though I'm not 100%, it seems like a good general direction to head for now. One thing I'm struggling with is my lack of experience and age. I'm 26 and I haven't had any enlightenment experiences yet. I've been meditating for about 4 years now, but still struggle with it. I've held a few teachings for people in my community giving them a general introduction to this stuff. I'm wondering what advice you'd give to someone who wants to use spirituality (teaching it and creating communities and centers) as their life purpose, even if they're really young with a spiral dynamics center of gravity probably hovering around stage red? I still don't really know what my zone of genius is exactly, and am uncertain as to all the practical skills I should be developing as. Thanks for any tips.

What is mirroring?

Here's the meeting between her and the Dalai Lama.

@Leo Gura, my question is how do you "smell" or know if someone has an ulterior motive?

Hmm. Thanks for the input. I've been, I think, hovering around a Purple center of gravity for a long while and am recently feeling myself move up into Red more. Though I've been doing various retreats and exercises (Leo's technique for dealing with strong negative emotions proved really helpful) I still don't really know why. I find it hard to tell with these things. Have you noticed times in your life when you've, upon reflection, moved up a stage and recognized any particular signs, ways of thinking that changed, or things you were doing that you think were catalysts for the growth?

Hey. I've been researching spiral dynamics a little over the past year (mostly videos), and I've heard that one of the most important lines of development is the cognitive line. I'm still unsure as to what exactly is meant by and is included in the cognitive line. Can anyone clarify it for me? Also, does anyone know what practices can be done to help grow this line of development? Thanks for any contribution.

I'd like to see a video that goes in-depth into what exactly mental illnesses are (especially Borderline and Dissociative Personality disorders) and how people can overcome them. I'd like to see what mental illness is through different lenses as well: science, spirituality, shamanism, various cultures, etc. And what and how these different perspectives treat or deal with the mental illness and their effectiveness. I'd also like to see what makes mental illnesses distinct from common neuroses. Why are mental illnesses called mental illnesses? Is it like a spectrum? Are mental illnesses simply common neuroses that are more severe? Or do people that have mental illnesses have different brain structures and are "built" that way? I'd also like to hear about Questions to answer: 1. What are mental illnesses? 2. Why are mental illnesses called mental illnesses? What makes them distinct from other neuroses or personalities? 3. How do other perspectives (science, spiritual traditions, shamanistic paths, cultures, etc) view and deal with mental illness? 4. What are the most effective tools for overcoming mental illness? 5. Is it possible to completely overcome mental illness? Generally and in specific cases. 6. What are the drawbacks and benefits of different perspectives' views and treatments with mental illness (specifically science vs. spirituality) 7. What are some historical contexts and examples of mental illnesses and how they were seen and 'dealt' with. 8. Guidelines for using medications: What are the mental illnesses or times that really requires medications? What types of medications? When are medications not necessary, useful, or even harmful? 9. What is the root cause of mental illness? 10. Examples of people overcoming mental illness. Mental illnesses I'm most interested in covering 1. Personality disorders. Specifically Borderline and Dissociative Personality Disorders. 2. Bi-polar disorder.

Helloo. I'm struggling a bit to find my zone of genius. So I thought I'd ask... -What your zone of genius is and how did you come to recognize it? -Also, have you heard of any other techniques or questions to ask yourself to find your zone of genius beside Gay Hendricks' method? I'm looking forward to hearing about your replies and hopefully this can get other people thinking about this subject as well. Enjoy!

I'm also aware that diagnosing oneself isn't the best way to go and that there's a big possibility that I don't have BPD.

So I did my first solo-ish retreat. I knew going into it that it wasn't ideal and I'd probably fall off the wagon and get distracted since I was doing it in my Dad's house. I was given an opportunity to have 10 or more days alone at his place so I thought I'd give it a whirl, knowing that it wasn't set up great. I didn't expect much. Super difficult for sure. I don't know how Leo or anyone can do ten hours of meditation a day for ten days straight. That blows my mind. Even sitting without doing any meditation is ridiculously boring and challenging. Though it did feel great to work through addictions and habits, I also caved in a bunch as well. I focused mainly on some emotional issues I've been struggling with over the past 6 years or more. Using Leo's technique to deal with negative emotions helped a lot. It was pretty amazing. through this I realized I suffered from lots of emotional neglect as a child and teen. I forgot how much I suffered. Then I did some LSD. Half a tab on two different days. I feel I could've definitely done more. Lots of insights from this and healing I feel. I got more in touch with my feminine side which I believe is my stronger side which I've neglected by thinking myself as masculine. Saw how I project onto reality and that whenever I recognize something it is immediately not what it truly is. During a self-inquiry session I focused instead on trying to find what is not an experience. After which I walked around and had an experience as if I was looking down upon my body and wasn't my body. It was kind of trippy. I also did some very strong weed brownies and thought I had an enlightenment experience but probably not. It was really, really, really weird though. My hair was dropping into my line of sight and I was tilting my head back and forth, watching the hair and wall behind it move. Then all of a sudden saw what I was seeing as having consciousness and sort of forcing consciousness onto it, making the person behind non-existent. It was like everything I was looking at became this weird entity that was me. It's very hard to explain. But I don't think it was an enlightenment experience since I didn't feel different too much, except a little freaked out, and I felt like I was forcing it to happen and from what I understand people can't force enlightenment to happen. All in all I think I learned to appreciate the suffering of purification a bit more and realized the value and importance of doing nothing and boredom and how healing and insightful those two things can be.