Matt23

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Everything posted by Matt23

  1. @remember Thanks a bunch, I'll check them out. It sounds like "Women Who Run With Wolves" is a good start. I'd like to go deeper in the psyche, shadow, and perhaps archetypes etc. The perhaps more shamanistic types of exploration of the psyche (going "deeper") rather than the spiritual/non-dual side (going "higher"). Seems like I've got a lot of baggage holding me back from those "higher" non-dual insights etc.
  2. Does anyone have any good resources or books about the feminine hero's journey (heroine's journey)?
  3. Having sex for the first time with a guy, and seeing how afraid I was/am to open up to love. Also, coming home for Christmas this year and seeing how much more resilient and quick I am at overcoming previously very difficult emotions. Took about 2ish years since first seeing Leo's video to get here, but noticing the growth in that short period is motivating me to continue to meditate and do self-inquiry.
  4. 2001 A Space Odyssey … more cosmic "stuff". Stanley Kubrick I think does a great job in non-verbal and more intuitive symbolism in this movie. Lots of imagery and music and little dialogue.
  5. ah... yes... thanks.
  6. Are there derivatives of DPT? I'm wanting to research it more and try it. Is "DPT" the full name or does it go by others? What does it stand for? Erowid doesn't have DPT on it's drug list, but it has something called DIPT...? Cheers
  7. Lucy - helped me radically open up my mind. Universal possibilities
  8. It sounds to me like you fear pursuing the thing you are most interested in because you think it won't have as much material benefit. Do you think it's possible for you to develop so much mastery and knowledge in cognition, since you're passionate about it (seemingly... maybe your not), that in the long-run it would outshine any successes you would have had in the mainstream domains of neurology and clinical psychology? I'd say go with what you're most interested or passionate about since, I think, in the long-run you'll increase your odds of success because you have genuine inner passion for it (aka fuel). Also, what about exploring cognition for a while and just seeing where it takes you? You might discover something new that others overlook since they're all focused on neurology or other more popular domains. Or you might satiate that interest and then move on to something else. But you'll have that foundation from all the knowledge you gained exploring cognition which may come in handy later on down the road. And, since others probably won't have that cognitive background (since you seem to say it's not as popular), you might get some sort of creative or intellectual edge on others; a different perspective to solve some problem or something. Another way to look at it is that you may have more success with something less popular (and perhaps, therefore, more niche) since nobody is doing it. You could be like a pioneer. Blazing new trails. Exploring new territories. etc. I'm trying to push you towards doing what most interests you. But, it might be wise to consider other strategies... who knows, it might be better to do things you don't find as interesting now and use it as a bridge for later. I'd advise to notice where fear comes in or "I can'ts". Those could be signs that you should do that thing.
  9. I've felt bullied by my brother for most of my life. This Christmas we al got together and feelings of being bullied by him came up. I realized I felt fear in expressing these to him in front of others (family) since I felt that family wouldn't support me or they may see me as the bad guy. So I passively suppress my emotions and don't take care of myself. I realized that we each have to take care of ourselves and that even family members won't 100% be on your side since they have their own agenda. And that you have to do good by you. Even if that means looking like the bad guy from time to time. Also, overcoming fears that cause me to suppress actions or feelings that would otherwise, if expressed, heighten my self-esteem. Like fearing that others might see me as a bad person if I expressed anger toward someone bullying me. This causes me to not defend or stand up for myself when being harassed or bullied, ultimately lowering my self-esteem and perpetuating the process even more. There's a comedian named George Carlin who, when he was older, said something like "One of the most important skills a person can have is to not give a fuck."
  10. An example of a life purpose from a male with more characteristically feminine traits or values Seems to me like it may be more about what dominant sexual "force", or which dominant set of values, you are (masculine or feminine). I'm a guy, but I'd say I value and exhibit more feminine qualities or things most of the time. I'd say the most meaningful thing for me is Togetherness. Relationships, interactions, and community are very important for me and working in a group setting. So far, as far as Life Purpose, I'm wanting to create some sort of ashram or community or research institute (or a combination) where the focus is on bringing people together and creating those long-lasting and meaningful connections between people. Also helping people become enlightened would be a major part of that I think.
  11. Which one fascinates or makes you most excited?
  12. Can you plug mushrooms? I just did 3 grams and felt pretty much nothing.
  13. I'm struggling with this at the moment as well. I'd say it may depend on what's your priority? If it's creating relationships, allow yourself to go out, explore, and make "mistakes". Maybe after a while of socializing, you'll discover you'd rather do different things, or maybe that there are only a handful of people you like. Or maybe you start to like socializing and explore it deeper. In my opinion, a few good friends is better than many shallow friends, and we don't need many. Even 1 or 2 close relationships can make a huge difference. Don't be afraid to express your true opinions and interests. It's what let's people know who you are and what you stand for. It also helps deter people who aren't your type. Watch your judgements. If you're judging too much it may be hard to create relationships. Realize that many or most people won't be into spirituality. You may need to find friends at meditation groups etc. Listen to yourself. If you mostly feel negative around a group, leave. Try to find people who inspire and excite you and who make you feel loved and appreciated. Good luck
  14. I'm not sure if I understand you correctly. Are you saying the people you want to be friends with only talk about topics which you think are "low" or shallow or egotistical? And you're wondering how to solve the balance between making friends versus not being around toxic people?
  15. I've had similar experiences. I think what's helped me is 20 mins a day self-inquiry and also backing off on the intense meditation. Also, I've started doing reiki on myself and I usually feel good. Holotropic breathwork too. I think, for me, I wasn't noticing subtle feelings of anxiety and pain which I perhaps had go work through. Hard to say what it was though. Maybe environment changes?
  16. Sounds interesting to me. I've just started a 2 year psychology program and my absolute favorite part has been researching for a sociology paper. I'm also interested in doing research and maybe even creating some sort of research institute. Have you taken any psychology programs or other university courses? What types of work have you done so far? Or are you still in high school?
  17. I heard Shinzen Young saying that the feeling of limbs going numb or tingling isn't harmful at all. Dunno though. I've gone pretty numb and still function fine. Peter Ralston advises t0 not do half or full lotus since it causes knee issues. He gives the example of how Ramana Maharshi walks. There's videos of him walking and his knees are all inverted.
  18. https://cepa.info/fulltexts/2253.pdf I haven't read it yet, but I've read another paper about autopoiesis and how Maturana and Valera see it. Some people may find it interesting or valuable to explore further. It seems to me to fit into a systems-thinking approach (perhaps stage "yellow"). I first heard about it through a video on Ken Wilber. He was discussing different examples and concepts which fit into each of the four quadrants. I think autopoiesis was in the bottom left. I could be mistaken.
  19. No thanks, I don't want to at the moment. I've got other things I've prioritized. Thanks though. Hopefully, if you're interested, you're able to get through it and gain insights.
  20. Yea, even the little Kriya I've done as produced more effect than the shrooms. Hm, I have been having a grumbly tummy lately and poor sleep ( I think anxiety related). Have you tried Syrian Rue? How is the experience different? DMT does sound like what I'm looking for. Just a glimpse to see what this whole spiritual journey is about.
  21. I just did 3 grams of mushrooms and barely had any effects. I've also been microdosing. Does anyone have any ideas about what could be going on? Could the shrooms be defective? Could the microdosing be effecting my sensitivity? Any other ideas or similar experiences? Thanks for any advice.
  22. I guess I heard doing microdosing like this helps neurogenesis (growing neurons) and can help in other ways, which I think it has for me. But a couple weeks off might be worth the experiment. Yea, 13 grams definitely scares me haha but might be something worth working up to.