Matt23

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Everything posted by Matt23

  1. I can see the wisdom in that and can understand it intellectually. But I've been feeling this vague urge/force I've not noticed before in my life which seems to fall into the realm of: action, doing stuff, making money, power perhaps even, having more experiences, ... having more independence, more things for myself that I own, more... self-reliance for sure... Seems like something I need to explore and be. It's like a budding sense of self-autonomy/reliance and a sense of action leading a firm self-sense/assurance from acting and doing and interacting with the world more. I dunno... it's not exactly clear... but it seems to be wanting something like those things. like I want to get into it (life)... I want to experience it... get messy... just had the image of Arnold as Conan smiling a berserker-fueled smile, savagely eating some meat or something. haha. ... Covid & lacking social interaction may be contributing to it as well
  2. Might not fall into your definition of "healthy" haha Red verging on the psychopathic rather that just plain ol' Red...?
  3. I started a Uni degree last year when I was 27. I see it like "Ok, might as well build up me resume to move me in the general direction I want to go in." Cons Don't spend as much time developing skills, knowledge, and creativity. Don't explore other options outside of Uni as much Might pick up some dogma Pros Gives you a piece of paper that might open up doors in the future Allows some exploration of subjects puts you in contact with people who might have similar interests - future collaborations/businesses together
  4. What keeps you staying? More positive motivations ("I love my wife and kids", "I want to stay", etc.), or more negative motivations ("I'm scared people will hate me if I leave", "I feel I'll be a bad person if I leave", "I'm scared of being ostracized", "I'm scared of hurting them", etc.). What does your heart say?
  5. I just finished reading a book on trauma called "The Body Keeps the Score", but Bessel van der Kolk (a psychiatrist who's been working with trauma victims for ages, though he now uses many alternative techniques and isn't so keen on pharmaceuticals anymore and bashes that industry a bit). In the book, one claim he makes from his personal experience is that much, if not most, mental health issues results from trauma (of one kind or another; from shock traumas to developmental traumas, etc.), and that medications tend to work best for people with mental health issues who have a history of early childhood trauma and abuse (physical and mental/emotional abuse/neglect) rather than traumas that took place later on in life. He also talks about how talk therapy tends to not really work for people with early childhood trauma compared to people who've been traumatized later in life ("later" could mean even early teen years or later childhood years...can't exactly remember, but I'm pretty sure) since they don't have any initial or fundamental feelings of security, safety, and warmth in which they can re-create and remember. This is where he tends to think giving these patients medications may be helpful (though not necessary). He gives several alternatives to medications that can really help people with earlier childhood traumas (EMDR, Neurofeedback, Yoga, Pesso-Boyden psychomotor therapy, and more [I think]). He definitely doesn't advocate strongly for pharmaceuticals, but says in some instances it can help smooth things over.
  6. Here's a documentary relating to the topic as well. Centered on the recent Jordan Peterson psychiatric (benzodiazepine) breakdown. Robert's work is featured here as well.
  7. You might be interested in Robert Whitaker's work. He's a journalist who's studied the pharmaceutical industry for something like 30 or 40 years. He wrote a book called Mad In America Here's a summation: The history told in Mad in America will surprise many readers. In its review of the scientific literature, the book reveals that long-term outcome studies of antipsychotics regularly showed that the drugs increased the likelihood that people diagnosed with schizophrenia would become chronically ill. The book also investigates the marketing of the new atypical antipsychotic medications in the 1990s, and uncovers the scientific fraud at the heart of that enterprise. He's got a website too where he's got articles, studies, and summaries of various mental conditions and treatments, along with their effectiveness. https://www.madinamerica.com/author/rwhitaker/
  8. @SirVladimir How much would you recommend the book, as opposed to only learning from videos n stuff? How much more depth did you get from reading the book? Is there that much more knowledge and understanding to be gained there? Cheers.
  9. Personal journey & Personal contribution synergy The worries of not having talent you seem to express look like they also fit the struggle you want to help others with. To me, helping people with struggles you've personally gone through and find meaning in is a key or great way to passion and impacting the world. It also lends more credibility and mastery in helping others with that issue. What are the other things you're interested in? can you experiment and, yes, "dabble" (evil word ), with these without investing too much in them to get a better feel for what you want? I would hesitate to say that experimenting with different LPs is a waste of time (I dunno if that's what you think or not). The "Buffet" analogy might be good here: If you only ate Greek salad and shrimp at the buffet, you'd never taste steak and discover that steak is actually your favorite food of all time. ... Use theory and contemplation to get a general felt-sense (intuition, heart, passion, excitement) of what you want. Go out, do it and experiment with it for a while. See if it fits (some things may take longer to suss out if it's a good fit or not). Realize there will be drudgery, even in your true passions. Have FUN with it! Enjoy the journey
  10. It also seems like the scientific paradigm uses the argument that "Since we can think and self-reflect, that means we have consciousness.", as opposed to, say, animals. But it seems obvious that animals have consciousness and experience things, even though they might not have thoughts. I never really understood that argument or way of seeing consciousness as synonymous with thinking, since thinking is an experience or activity within consciousness/awareness. Even I've had moments without thinking, but there was plenty of other stuff to be conscious of. Or am I misunderstanding the argument?
  11. Hey. I'm realizing I have still yet to really transcend Red... or maybe I simply haven't integrated it well. Either way, I'd really like some recommendations to help me integrate Red more. Any Red resources, videos, people to study, tips, techniques, things/values/skills to work on, etc.? cheers
  12. @Villager Albert Yeah, I've listened to some of his stuff. I dunno about some of his teachings, I but do enjoy his overall vibe; good mix of humor, lightheartedness, kindness, and depth.
  13. A bit about HAwking I recently read. May be a little off-topic. Just read a bit about Hawking, his childhood and adult life. Seemed like he may have been emotionally neglected in the household he grew up in, and that this probably affected his adult life (along with the ALS; though, the book I'm reading [When the Body Says No by Gabor MAte] suggests that the ALS may have made him more assertive and allowed him to develop his cognitive skills and theories more than other scientists and thinkers since he was sort of excused from regular manual work).
  14. Healthy Red... defending a victim against bullies... Unhealthy Red... maybe a bit excessive
  15. I get the feeling there's Red in here somewhere... Though, I feel solid Red would've just blown him apart at the get-go without stopping to call the niece. "Shoot first, ask questions later."
  16. "Looking at what the leaders of these industries and platforms are doing should tell you something; non of them let their kids onto these platforms. Platforms they themselves helped to create." -paraphrasing
  17. I wonder how much these things can be actually, in reality, 100% be made distinct from each other and not "bleed" and fluidly mix into each other. Our minds seem to be more able to create clear distinctions between things, but is that merely in our own minds (i.e., conceptually) and not actually reality? Or, is mind/concept no different from reality? Thus making clear distinctions a feature or possibility within reality? ex: A rainbow (substitute the different colors in a rainbow for the different models of development, or any other thing you can think of). You can see it and see (or make/project) clear distinctions between the different colors. But, looking closer, you can see that there's actually no line which divides the colors. It's a seamless and fluid transition from one to the other, without separation. Distinct without separation paradox. "Same same, but different." Perhaps this is the same with these models discussed here (and probably many other things in life relating to the mind/concept-reality relationship).
  18. I think I forgot to mention a key piece of the book: the/a key to overcoming trauma isn't in reliving or remembering the past (this can actually re-traumatize people), it's in being able to deal with the painful feelings and sensations you have (in your body) in the present, as well as creating and re-establishing positive feelings and sensations that may be "lost".
  19. Suicidal ideation/utter hopelessness, compulsive self-harm (beating myself), binge eating, terrifying and excruciating emotional states,... lasted from maybe around 2011/2012 till recently... seem to be doing decently better now (last huge trauma/trigger and self-beating was a few months ago, I smashed my head on some wood and a concrete block, and tried cutting myself a bit but didn't draw any blood. Another outburst/reaction happened a few weeks after and I went around the house throwing shit, yelling, and doing some self-beating)... hmmm... I also struggle from a lot of energy issues. Sometimes my body feels like a ton of bricks and I can barely do anything. mmmm last year or so I've been getting some stomach and irritable bowel stuff I can't seem to shake. Though recently I've switched from white to brown rice (last few days), and my stomach seems to feel better, but I still can't say. ... Most of mine are psychological. I've played a lot of sports and have been pretty active, so I've got some ankle and knee issues (especially after tree planting). But most physical pain issues don't bother me much. The secondary effects are what bugs me most (like if I have a sprained ankle, not being able to run or get outside, etc.). The irritable bowel stuff can be pretty shitty (), especially waking up every morning and the stomach is growling and tumbling like madness [insert "This is Madness" quote from 300]... hahaha there's great meme potential there. Hope this helps. Allow what is mon frere.
  20. Dunno if this was already stated, but bug out bags might be a wise thing to research and make. Wiki says..."A bug-out bag or BOB is a portable kit that normally contains the items one would require to survive for 72 hours when evacuating from a disaster, although some kits are designed to last longer periods." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bug-out_bag Survival essentials: Water Food (calories are probably most critical, and salt with electrolytes if you're in a hot environment). Warm Dry 1st aid Communications I dunno... I'm no expert, but from what I've read and studied (I took a two-year diploma in adventure tourism and backcountry travel along with recently studying a few what seem to me to be high-quality resources and books on survival), these seem to be essential for survival. A quote from a book I read (highly recommend) call "Deep Survival". “The maddening thing for someone with a Western scientific turn of mind is that it’s not what’s in your pack that separates the quick from the dead. It’s not even what’s in your mind. Corny as it sounds, it’s what’s in your heart.” ― Laurence Gonzales, Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why Good luck amigo. Stay safe, stay cool (no pun intended).
  21. I started the first part of Guns, Germs, and Steel... blew me away. The interrelationships, complexity, systems thinking, and yet how everything works together smoothly, in an ecologically and systemically logical and intuitive fashion. Changed the way I think (at least for a few minutes )