Matt23

Ya. For me this is the hardest thing about a wage-slave job.

Hmm.. the first thing I thought of was that really everyone has everything. Just perhaps in different degrees, different levels of "respect" for those functions, and different levels of awareness of those functions. Seeing him say he feels pretty balanced with Fe-Fi, I dunno... he might be both A) speaking about his double deciders, and B) confusing a feeling function for a thinking function. Or just not being clear on how OPS defines Fe and Fi, etc.. @AtheisticNonduality Here's some OPS definitions (from what I've gathered anyways, they might not be totally accurate). Fe You feel responsible for the "vibe" of the group. You are aware of what they value and how everyone is feeling etc. You maybe tend to over-empathize and might "lose" yourself in others' feelings and values. You might tend to neglect your own self more (both your own values and what works for you) for the sake of others. A reoccurring issue for you might be giving yourself to others too much and then not knowing who you are Fi You know what you value and like in each moment. Maybe not necessarily like cognitively, but you maybe just know in a feeling sense what you want etc. A reoccurring issue for you might be your tribe/friends/family, etc., saying your "selfish" and not willing to do what works for them. Remember, if it's your top and bottom function, you probably aren't aware of it since you're doing it automatically.

Remember Te and Fe are different (I dunno if you meant that). Te = What works for others? Fe = What do others value?

I really distrust the accuracy of self-typing. If I've learned one thing from OPS, it's how difficult it is to really see oneself clearly. According to them, and I can see this in my own life too, one's top and bottom functions are really hard to be aware of. It's like swimming in water: hard to see what seems just "normal" and what you do all the time unconsciously. Also they noted that people tend to often think or type themselves (not sure which exactly) the reverse of what they actually are. They also discovered this thing they call "jumpers", where about 50% of the people they typed had their thertiary function as their second most dominant rather than their secondary function.

Feel ya. Ya, first I'd say maybe try moving to a city where it's more gay-friendly. If that's not an option, I'd say even saying you are gay might snap people out of it. Actually, and I'm not saying this is everyone, but some people might be "faking" or just sort of going along with seeming to be anti-gay, but if you express that you are gay, they might not even care. I have a feeling that people really don't care and that their insecurities will just make them not spend much time with you if you come out. Thereby those who really don't care will stay around and you can talk to them about it more deeply n how you feel etc. Pick your spots too. Use your wisdom. I recently got a job at a Christian organization and told a co-worker I'm gay in front of one of our residents. He was apparently insecure about it and I think his mom found out and there was like a report about it and they used the words "alternative lifestyle". I definitely felt hurt around it. I'm sticking with the job for now but ya, I dunno, I might be selling out or something. It's not a forever job but ya. I dunno.

I'd say first make sure the person actually wants advice. Whether they ask you are if you offer it to them explicitly, like "do you want to know what I think?" or "can I offer you a piece of advice?". But I'd say something more powerful than advice is listening and reflecting what you hear and empathizing/understanding the person. Things like saying "That must be difficult" or even not saying anything at all. Giving people questions is sometimes powerful as well. I often feel quite shitty when people just offer me advice without me wanting or asking for it. Despite them wanting to help, I just feel more frustrated and unheard. Especially if I'm expressing emotions to them, and then instead of just getting someone who's listening and trying to understand and simply reflect, I get techniques and advice about how to "fix" my issues, I feel totally unheard and that just feels like the worst. People often don't want advice on how to fix their issues (particularly relating to emotions or/and when they are in emotional states). They more just want someone to listen to them and offer them consolation and understanding and compassion. I'm not saying always. Like if someone is in a more practical and productive or motivated state, they will probably be more pragmatic about how they go about "fixing" their issues, and then at these moments will they seek guidance and techniques etc. But when they are down in the dumps or just feeling emotions in general, I'd say the best way to relate to that isn't with offering technical advice or fixes.

Feeling disconnected from others? = = maybe from being disconnected with yourself?

They've also found that about 50% of the people they type they call "jumpers". Meaning that their second strongest function is actually their 3rd function rather than their 2nd function. So, say you're a traditional MBTI INTP, your stack would be... Introverted Thinking (Ti) -- "What works for me?" Extraverted Intuition (Ne) -- Gathering concepts Introverted Sensing (Si) -- Organizing physical stuff Extraverted Feeling (Fe) -- "What does the tribe value?" But, if you're a jumper, it would be... Introverted Thinking Introverted Sensing Extraverted intuition Extraverted Feeling.

Ya, their process seems pretty reliable. They basically get videos of someone (whether celebs in interviews of actual people who send them videos answering questions) and they each look at the same person's video in separate rooms and try to type them out of their 512 types. They say they've gotten like 80% or 90% accuracy (meaning that they each get the same type using their checklist out of 512 types 80-90 percent of the time).

Check these out. A solid stage yellow thinker's (I'm pretty damn sure) take on this subject.

What's most meaningful to you personally? Rather than even values and things Leo or others say you "should" want, or even seems good, look within yourself and feel what's most meaningful to you. I fell into this trap of looking at Leo's content and the things he suggests people should want and pursue, but I didn't look within myself to figure out what I really wanted for myself, uniquely. I was just parroting an ideology of values. I'm not even saying I don't somewhere deep down want some things he states, but that it's a much more powerful and motivating thing to introspect within oneself and discover a genuine value since it will be connected with genuine feeling, and feelings are what move you. It will be unique for you. I've even had it where Leo has said a value to pursue, and it's been just like an intellectual idea, but then I've come across it within myself genuinely and it's felt sooo much more different (maybe because it's slightly more customized for myself). Though his suggestion did create some feeling and I think some suggestion and to where to look within myself (it still felt maybe kinda forced, like it wasn't coming from within me but was external). I guess the lesson was: even if a value coming from externally to you is the same or similar to a value you hold within yourself, it won't pack as big of a motivating and emotional punch as discovering that same or similar value within yourself.

Takes a while probably. If you really want to live the OG hermit-life, I think it's something you gotta build yourself up to. I've been on a few solo retreats in the woods camping for like 5-7 days, I found it difficult. But I'm sure if I built myself up and set things up properly, I could get used to it. People can get used to all sorts of things: humans are probably one of the most adaptable creatures on the planet, maybe the most (considering how many ecological zones and climates we've survived in).

I could see logically that makes sense, but I don't think that's how it's working reality. I think it's more like they want to assess, but they want to manipulate the assessment to pump up their egos. Most likely. This is a problem I can't seem to rationalize with these various personal self-assessments: how can scientists etc. trust these so much? (unless they really aren't doing science and just doing pop-psychology). It just seems too obvious that a person, with even a tiny bit of knowledge of the theory that relates to the subject they're self-assessing on (even with no knowledge of it), would be able to know exactly which answers to give to make themselves be seen in the light they want to be seen as. Like self-assessments seem so unreliable to me. Unless you coded the assessment with such complexity and worded it so cleverly. It's like the only thing they are reliable for is seeing what people want to be seen as rather than what they actually are (even subconsciously, like, if a person was being as honest as possible, I think it can be really hard to objectively see oneself clearly and objectively). I dunno. What do you think?

I feel I'm in a similar boat (though I dunno) to some degree. I guess I've just sort of played the balance game leaning towards what I want. Like almost considering homeostatsis and where your relationship with her is at the moment, and that changing that transcends and rationality and will mean some discomfort probably (maybe not though), and maybe instead of drastic changes, just do smaller changes over time that gradually get you your independence. Though it depends on your situation. Are you likewise dependent on her? Why don't you simply not answer her texts after stating what you're going to do? Do you fear what she'll do or think? How are you contributing to this situation?

I think I've seen maybe a tendency for many people on this forum to assess themselves as Yellow, but who I think are probably orange. I say this because I just see (I think... maybe I'm foolin myself) posts the ask things like "how was your transition from Green to Yellow", and I assume there have been many responses (and I think i've seen several responses), and I just doubt that they are yellow since... I doubt that many stage yellow people would be spending their time on a forum like this and would probably have better things to do, and that even posting "I'm Yellow" isn't something a yellow person would do or spend time on. I think stage yellow people are rare compared to how many responses to being "yellow" I've seen on here. I 've heard that stage orange people can have a tendency to see themselves as yellow but actually aren't.

@integral Hey. Just thought I'd mention if someone hasn't already said it: do not do chelating without first making sure you have no amalgam fillings in your teeth. Apparently you can fuck yourself over a lot if you do and have to get specific types of x-rays done and checked by a dentist who knows what he's looking for.

I heard of this thing that (it may have even been a study) where they found that irrespective of type of therapy, therapist, setting, that most significant predictor of success was the person's ability to notice the feelings in their body and and attuned to their own subjective experience.

Ask yourself "what's meaningful to me?" "What can I do that's meaningful?". But don't only ask it as a cognitive-like question, feel into it. Ask they question, then feel what your body and heart come up with. And look into your mind's eye, your imagination, to see the heart-inspired visions of what meaningfulness is pointing towards. What is worth wanting to you? I think it helps to unplug as well. Maybe go on a solo camping trip out in nature for a while. Do things that ''reconnect'' yourself with authenticity, true-self, love, beauty, etc. And the ideas don't have to be huge or ginormous. They don't even necessarily have to bring you to tears. If you just have a little sense that some idea or value is meaningful to you, and you feel that in your body, then I think that's a good track to move towards. Here's a quote I heard recently: People are running ideologies rather than following what's truly meaningful to them specifically. I did and do this still with actualized.org content. Adopting all these values and ideas and behaviors, being sold them and then adopting them (I'm not saying they are bad etc., just that I wasn't going within myself to find what's truly meaningful to me). Sort of like thinking "Oh! Enlightenment is good, I have to have it. And contemplation, yes, that's a good thing. I have to want it. Etc." Instead of finding my own unique path. I guess that's a trap with actualized content: It's, to me, clearly higher consciousness than other content I've seen, and is filled with tons of good stuff. But that this gets in the way of finding one's own values and desires etc..

If people are growing it themselves non-legally, they can use whatever they want. The stuff they sell you doesn't even have to be pure cannabis.

Agreed. I was thinking maybe something like this. Including the yachts (the 's' on the end of 'yachts' is no mistake).

@Crane Bahnsteik Is the Sedona Method basically simply observing and feeling emotions and then letting them go?

@lmfao Ya, I got this from an expert on psychopathy and sociopathy.

Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS). Great tool I picked up (especially if combined with Byron Katie's ''The Work''). Basically it teaches you how to understand and communicate with your subpersonalities.

I wanted to find one of the brands that's like suuuuupppper green, but forgot what they are. Kia?

Ahhh haha. Yes.