Matt23

@unborn_chicken....wooorrdd

This is what I'm imagining +

A guy came up to me on the street, asking for $20 for a bus ticket to go home. I gave him the money. He seemed genuine to me. A few weeks (or months) later I saw him doing the same thing to another guy on the street. I didn't say anything though since I think I just didn't care at that point and realized that he would just keep on doing it. I may have said something, but I'm not sure. I guess there are probably many lesson. One being to not sweat the small stuff. Also, that my estimation of who's genuine and not isn't always accurate. Also, when people on the street come up and ask for money, if I decide to give them money, I think doing that without any expectations about how they'll spend it (no matter what they say) is probably a wise move. Just give it freely if I feel like it. Even if they say it's for food but I suspect it's probably for drugs or something, just recognize that and then determine if I want to give them some money. Either way, even if it is for drugs, giving some money (I'm talking like some change) isn't a bad thing and can still help despite it potentially going towards an addiction.

So, is it that when you do the techniques, you feel that healing and positive release? But it's only after that then you feel worse and start again doing bad habits? Or is it that the techniques have never made you feel better and, even if there is some sort of shift emotionally, it doesn't feel positive or healing?

Ya. Also, not to confuse things even more, but taking a year or even a few years off to just figure out what you want out of life is a great thing to do IMO. Many cultures, including many parts of western culture, have this as an accepted thing to do = i.e., gap years. Also, again, I don't know what your particular situation is or what the living expenses are where you live, but where I'm from, I've moved around a lot and have never had issues with money or housing. = I may have already said this. I just want to balance something I think I may be seeing on this forum of perhaps an aversion to just moving to a new city and doing your own thing for a while. In my experience, that's never ended in me being homeless or anything, even though I never had a solid plan before moving. I always made things work (even though my living and work conditions were never great). Don't be afraid to take chances, have an adventure, learn a bit. But also be smart and wise about it.

Makes sense I suppose. Though I'm unsure about taking business in college and having that work out practically with getting work. How do you see having, say, a business degree being a reliable way of getting work?

I dunno... this might be seen, or might be in itself, an excuse. I guess maybe the deeper more meaningful question is .. how much do you like or love this person and want to be with them? Ultimately, I think it comes down to that. How meaningful are they to you? Couples have overcome tremendous things to be together. I know one man who took care of his wife for months or years while she battled some sort of disease. I'm not saying your situation even remotely comes close to that. But I think there's a point that's similar; the amount of love and meaning you have for a thing will, in part, determine how much "stuff" you're willing to accept, tolerate, and work through in order to have that thing in your life... or at least have that thing be as positive as it can be. I dunno though. Don't just not see someone cuz you've got issues in the hopes of oneday not having issues. I mean, ya, maybe there's times when that's a solid and responsible way to go. But it can also be a mistake since you may never fully resolve your issues. Also, like Roy said, being with a person may help you grow through those issues.

I tend to agree. In terms of the quality of education I got from one of my classes last semester, it was literally memorizing a list of words and their definitions... Fair, it was online due to covid. But still, that was not worth the few hundred dollars I paid for that course. Even with a decent teacher teaching decent content, I still think that most college education isn't worth it. Especially if it's in the humanities or arts and you're not certain you want to pursue a career that absolutely needs some specific sort of education. Most of that type of education you can learn on your own. I'm sure this is even somewhat true for the other disciplines as well.

I've heard similar things and don't doubt there's truth there. I hesitate to go all in on that though due to my experience with that guy. Obviously we could be speaking about different amounts here. And even individuals can differ. But i suppose my issue is with how black and white you laid the claim of "Dont do mdma though. Its harmful...". To me that seems way to reactionary or final, universal, without nuance. If you get my meaning. People are even using it as therapy with much success. So the idea that they are simply harmful i dislike and find it could be threatening to those, myself included, who see it as a possible cure or aid with mental health. Also, maybe I feel frustrated with your statement since I feel it didn't allow for much variation and possibilities other than what you said. I guess I'm of the opinion that many things can be used in different ways with different outcomes, and to say something is "this way" or "that way", flat out, I think isn't true. I'm also not saying that that was what you meant. Just my feeling-interpretation of how and what you said.

You gotta start somewhere. Especially if he's already in wage slavery, waiting to get out it to then start building skills doesn't seem like a great strategy. Maybe just figure out a way to set yourself up with something comfortable. Even moving cities can be good if it gives you knew experiences. Just as long as you can float it with $ etc.. I've moved many times in my life and have never had an issue finding a place or making money. Though, I'm in a different part of the world than you. The one thing I sort of wish I had though, now, is finding a place where I felt more secure and could settle for longer periods of time. It sounds like this isn't your situation though. So maybe moving isn't a bad idea. But I'd simply recommend making the decision from a more sober place. I dunno.

That sounds a bit black and white/rigid/dogmatic. Just experiment and see what works. That's the only way you'll truly know. Obviously do research and get testimonies, and realize that, ya, doing MDMA on the regular like everyday might not be the healthiest. But also, I have no idea, or even if there's research or reports of people doing it.

Ya. Agreed. I've tried the whole "moving to a bigger city and just going by the seat of my pants" thing once. It ended . I think one lesson I've learned and am learning is that even though a feeling, intuition, or impulse may be true and valid, that doesn't mean you just follow it blindly without pragmatic considerations. For example, maybe my desire to become a monk is actually a truly authentic and meaningful desire I have. But that doesn't mean I'm just going to drop everything, move to Nepal, and try to become a monk. Hell no. I'm gunna do research, go spend some time in monasteries, have other life experiences to see if that's truly a good choice for me, etc.. And all this could take years, even decades, before I actually commit to being a monk. I know one monk who said he spent 14 years before he decided. Now, obviously there are exceptions and ultimately you gotta go by your own intuitions and decisions. Like ya, sometimes maybe the best choice is to just go off. But remember, each choice you make you have to take full responsibility for the outcomes and effects. I'm not saying you gotta go to college. That's fine. But also, I'd say the Miami thing sounded a bit drastic to me. I think just getting some stability while you consider what you want to do next is key. Like, make one big life decision at a time, and create the space and stability you need to further you plans in a sane and rational way can help. I also think trying to find another place to live other than your parent's house isn't a bad idea.

No!

Why not just try it out for a bit and see how things go? If things start to get too bad, you or her can notice and pull the plug. Or maybe just take a break.

Here's some inspiration in the mean time.

I dunno the ins n outs. But the interview didn't seem like a smoking gun to me. How he answered the part about Epstein seemed pretty reasonable amd truthful. Epstein was in contact and "shmoozing" with all sorts of famous people. There's photos of him interacting with Steven Pinker n others. Does that mean all those people are frauds like him? I don't think so.

I feel similarly. Though maybe not as extreme by the sounds of it. I'd check the body too... as in spend some time trying to feel your body. You may discover emtions and sensations you've not noticed before which could be the cause of your issues. Like underlying fears or depressions. All these, un-relaxed and held onto, take energy to maintain. = the more "luggage" you're holding onto, the heavier is the load you have to carry. And if you've been used to carrying a certain amount of weight, it can be normal and unnoticeable.

Ugh... haha... something about his voice tires me. Like he's just always go-go-go. Not saying he doesn't have good shit to say and helps people. But man, I dunno... something overly masculine, try-hard, or rigid/boxy about how I see him.

Psycho-Cybernetics. The Science of Success Carlos Castaneda's Wheel of Time Jung: A Very Short Introduction

I suppose making a distinction between wisdom and knowledge vs. The source and the integrity, character, and quality of that source. Like he may have been a ruthless con man, yet the stuff he wrote about could still be great wisdom.

As another l anecdotal data point. I know a guy who says he's been doing mdma every 2-3 weeks in combination with IFS therapy. He seems veey "nomal" and pretty healthy. I asked him about any negative effects and he said he hasn't experienced any. I'm not sure how long he's been doing this for.

Also, get a regeant drug testing kit. They run around $60-$80 online from the ones I've seen.

It can be as fun or stressful or serious as you want/make it. Detachment. Know that nothing really matters. Yet act as if it does. You don't want to be careless. But also, you don't want to get caught in spirals or anxiety and stress. Find the middle ground and what works for you. Also think sustainably. Can you do business long-term while you're feeling as stressed as you do? Enjoying the process is actually also better for survival in this sense. What's your motivation for starting business? Love, fear (financial?), fun, to be taken seriously, ...? What would enjoying the process of business look and feel like to you?

@Roy ya, agreed. I think the financial worries are more subject. Ovjectively I think I'm ok. I think it's more about just psychological worries surrounding money insecurities I've always sort of had, and this situation just kind of brings those to the surface since $380 isn't a small amount (nor is it a huge amount...for me it kind of feels on the edge...like it's doable but also a bit of a stress/stretch) Thanks for the offer anyways.

So I'd like to hear what your thoughts are on this. Basically, I started renting this new place and after a week or so that I found it too noisy for me. Now I've got a new place to move to, but, the woman wants me to move in on the 1st. This means I wouldn't be giving the guys I live with now a month's notice. So, I thought it would be fair if I paid for the 8 days difference (even though I wouldn't be living here). === What do you think of this? My second thing is that they want me to move out on either the 1st or the 15th of the month since they find it's easier to fill rooms during those dates rather than dates in between (like the 6th or 22nd, etc.). I spoke with the guy about it and said to him that if they didn't find a new person to fill my room by the 8th (which is the date I said I'd pay them too since that's a month from now) I could pay till the 15th as well. One issue here is that they pay extra for any of the empty rooms. Now, I did this probably mostly to just not make a hassle out of things and avoid I don't know what sort of repercussions. It also seemed that they felt a little hard done by having it not on the 15th, so I sort of partly felt like a sense of duty or well-giving to them to do this since they are decent guys. I also did the math and if I pay till the 8th it's like $185. If I pay till the 15th that's like $345 (another $160). But if I only paid till the 8th (which I think is relatively fair considering I think a month's notice is the standard and perhaps even legal), and if I didn't pay till the 15th, they'd each only have to pay $50 each. Now, money isn't exactly falling off trees for me and I feel stressed and strapped for cash. Another part of me though feels ok with just being ok with this and letting it go. My main concern is worrying about money rather than feeling taken advantage of or low self-esteem (which I strangely don't really feel at the moment). What do you guys think? Is this fair? Am I letting them push me around too much? What would you do?